A/N: I had a heck of a time coming up with a title for this overall story. So it probably doesn't fit well. ;) I've rated the story T because of language and certain themes. I don't know, but I doubt it will get very graphic, and if it does I'll post a warning. I'm trying to give a non-cliche view on Severus... and Dumbledore, in this chapter, seems incredibly OOC, but that will be explained in later chapters. Until then, read, review, and enjoy!
Snape rounded the door, much to the surprise of the crowd that had gathered in the hospital ward. At first sight of the girl he grabbed her by the neck of the robe and pulled her up against the doorpost. She shrieked in protest but he held her neck tighter. "Where is he?" Snape growled to Hermione Granger. "Where is my boy?"
"I haven't any idea who you're talking about..." She managed before a swift movement cut off her air supply.
"Where is Harry Potter?" Seeming to be at his maximum tolerance level, Snape reached for his wand.
"Severus." The severe voice of Albus Dumbledore cut from behind him. "Please unhand Ms. Granger." Snape complied, dropping Hermione in a ruffle of robes and curses. He stepped back, turning to face the headmaster. "Now if you could, make your request civilly."
Quite disheveled, Severus Snape backed a few inches away from Dumbledore. "I want to see him, Albus." Severus was wearing only black slacks and a white dress shirt. The shirt was hastily buttoned and not tucked. His dark hair hung unnaturally around his face, which because of his natural skin tone appeared pale blue in fear.
"I don't know if that is such a good idea." Albus said with a calm intonation. Severus' felt his heart flair. His voice grew very quiet.
"Show me the boy." Minerva McGonagall, who had been standing at the edge of the crowd in her tartan nightclothes, moved an inch closer to the curtain behind her. "Is he there?" Severus asked.
Minerva and Albus' eyes met over the crowd. Ron, Ginny, Fred, George, and Molly Weasley were huddled in between the two professors. Their faces were wet with tears, and they were holding each other. Luna Lovegood was fussing over Hermione's robe and grasping her hand feverishly. Everyone moved out of the way as Albus Dumbledore started towards the curtain. Severus was on the heels of his midnight blue dress robe. "Are you certain you want to see him?" Albus asked when he reached the curtain, his bony hand resting just on its edge.
Severus did not need to answer. Albus pulled back the curtain to the private room of the hospital wing and let the man step into the door frame, blocking the view for the rest of the crowd. The normally stoic Severus Snape gasped inwardly. "Is he even alive?" The man asked no one in particular. Harry Potter lay in the bed, naked save for a thin sheet covering his waist and legs. His skin was a milky pale color, not the normal tan of the quidditch player Harry was. His eyes were closed and showed no signs of movement. Around his wrists were two bandages, stained red around the edges.
Albus Dumbledore began speaking calmly and slowly... "He was found on the Astronomy Tower three hours ago..."
"Why I thank you for making your notification so prompt!" Severus' outburst was loud, dripping with sarcasm. Albus held up a hand to silence him.
"Ms. Granger alerted me, and I alerted the Matron. We brought him here until we could find him stable enough." Dumbledore tried a smile, but Severus growled...
"And will you tell me how these people knew of my boy's misfortune before me?"
"Severus you have the tendency to... overreact. I didn't want you to upset him... I didn't want to upset you until I could assure you he was stable."
"Stable!?" Severus croaked. "He looks fucking dead Albus... my boy looks dead." At the final word Severus' voice cracked and a silver tear slipped down his hallowed cheeks. He moved forward to touch the boy but Albus called out to stop him.
"I do not believe he would want to be coddled in public, Severus." The headmaster's tone was disapproving and Severus stuttered in surprise.
"Are you saying I should not comfort him?"
"I'm saying your comfort would do no good."
"Professor Dumbledore, in all respect, but you have no right as to tell me how to govern my family." Severus crossed the floor between him and the headmaster with speed and grace. "Tell them to leave." He whispered, motioning at the crowd around the door. "And then follow them."
"Severus, you have no right to instruct my actions. What makes you think that you staying with Harry will help him? It obviously didn't before..."
"Shut up!" Severus yelled in the man's face. Minerva jumped to Albus' side, but the man told her to leave. "Harry is lying in that bed, almost dead. Don't you think I feel enough grief at the fact the only thing he trusted was the blade he used to slice open his wrists?" He took a shuttering breath. "Do you think I need you to tell me what a sorry father I was to this boy? Right now, all I want is to be with him so, god-dammed, if my son decides to take his last breaths I can be there like I wasn't there before."
Albus Dumbledore looked, perhaps for the first time in his life, shaken. He turned on one foot and motioned for the crowd outside to leave, as they filed out, the headmaster turned back to Severus. "This isn't over, my boy." Severus started to turn away, but stopped himself.
"No..." He breathed. "No Albus. What you fail to realize is that this is over." Severus nodded certain in his statement. "It's over for all of us." And with that Albus Dumbledore lost the twinkle in his eyes, turned on one heel, and left the room. He let the curtain fall closed behind him.
Severus wasted no time in getting to Harry. His body felt cold under the Potion Master's hand. "I'm so sorry..." Severus began, running his hand up and down Harry's short hair cut. "I'm so sorry I ever told you to cut your bloody hair." Severus laughed, despite the grief of seeing the boy... the man... lying there before him.
Slowly Severus sat down on the bed, wanting badly for the boy to react to his movement. His wanting went unnoticed as Harry lay still as stone on the bed. "You are so cold..." Severus stated, moving behind Harry and lifting him so that his head rested on Severus chest. He hadn't held the boy sense third year... "You're much bigger now." He commented to the unconscious sixteen year old.
"Blast Harry!" Severus whispered into the boy's hair. His tears dripped onto the locks and Severus was not ashamed. "What did I do wrong? What could I have done better?"
There was no answer, though Severus wanted one more than anything in the world. He wanted Harry to wake up... he wanted Harry to be okay... he wanted his son back.
It really wasn't fair. Harry had been his since the day Lily died. They had grown up together, yes, both of them. Severus knew he loved the boy with all his heart... and yet somehow, in his ignorance, he couldn't see the suffering of his son. What kind of father was he? He was human... Severus reasoned with himself. But still, this was not the kind of human mistake one could live with... especially when one's son lay nearly dead of self inflicted injury...
Severus Snape listened to Harry's slow, labored breathing. "It doesn't seem that long ago..." Severus began to no one, his head tucked near Harry's. "When we fought... and I told you, I wanted more than anything to get rid of you." He drew in a large breath to calm himself. "I was lying..." The tears started falling anew, despite the man's attempts at self control. "I don't want you to leave me, Harry..."
But Severus feared he was to far gone to hear.
A/N:
The intro of this story is set at the end of fifth year, but the next chapter will be set at halfway through first year.
This story will be told mainly in flashbacks, going through Harry and Severus' life together. I hope that over the course of the story all the questions you're probably asking will be answered. :)
Harry is NOT Severus' blood-son, but this relationship will be explained later.
I plan to update as regularly as possible, but with work and a courseload from hell I... well, I'll try.
I DO INTEND TO COMPLETE THIS STORY! Many of my others have been thrown by the wasteside. I won't give up on this one.
I can't really think of much else to say except tune in, review, and hold out for me to make it all make sense.
Thanks, and once again, reviews much appreciated.
-Ashley
