Summary: AU New Moon/Eclipse-Bella is feeling lonely and isolated after both Jacob and Edward are upset with her. Jessica and Lauren are bullying Bella and now she starts to cut herself believe she deserved it. So how would Edward and Jacob make it up to her when they she the scars?

Bella

I was sitting at home, waiting for Charlie to get home from work. Of course I was grounded due to Jacob snitching on me about the motorcycle. If only he would just took the time to listen to me. I wanted to tell him that I don't want to change into a vampire until I am sure I am ready. I enjoy the friendship we have. Now he hates me. Edward is very disappointed with me as well for the dangerous trip to Italy and the secret motorcycle lessons. He was scolding me for it for hours. I won't be seeing him at home for a while.

I heard the front door open.

"Bella?" calls Charlie.

"In the kitchen." I called.

For dinner, I made angel hair pasta with grilled chicken strips and chopped red peppers. I am sure that Charlie would enjoy it.

"Smells good. What is it?" asks Charlie.

"Chicken angel hair pasta." I said simply.

Charlie walks over to the stove and lifts the top of the silver pot as stream emerges and then reveals the contents inside. A smile crept upon Charlie's face.

"Wow Bella. I am impressed." Comments Charlie as he grabs a fork from the drawer for a quick taste.

"Careful dad, it's-"

Before I could finish my sentence, Charlie hissed out as the streaming hot chicken piece and pasta made contact with his tongue and drops the fork.

"Damn," he curses under his breath.

"There is red peppers in there." I told him.

He bends over and picks up the fork ad threw it in the sink. "No it wasn't the peppers." He looks over at the stove. "No wonder. The stove is still on."

"I was trying to tell you." I said.

"I know. Next time, I will be sure to listen." Charlie said.

I nodded to get started on making his plate. My mind went back to Jacob. A throbbing pain in my stomach. I then switched to Edward and that made it worst. The disappointment in his voice. The way Rosalie looked at me. A hole in my heart.

"Bella?"

"Huh?" I said confused.

"You alright?"

I nodded and hand him his plate. He went to eat in front of the T.V. I only gave myself at least one scoop of chicken pasta. I ate one bite and spit it out. This is so repulsing. I could feel a sour taste in my throat. I must have made a sick face or something because I heard Charlie rushing to my side.

"Bella, are you alright? You feeling sick?" he asks frantically. "Do you want me to call Dr. Cullen?"

"No!" I yelled. I don't know why but the mention of a Cullen seems to trigger guilt upon myself. "I mean I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "You know. I had already ate big earlier." I lied. "Maybe I'll skip out dinner."

Charlie looks at me hesitantly before shaking his head. "Alright. You gone up to your room and I'll clean up."

I shook my head. "No Dad-"

He held up his hand to stop me from speaking further. "No you need to finish your homework and study. Besides, it's not cooking Bella. Cleaning I can do without endangering life."

I laughed at his joke as I went up to my room. I was hoping to see Edward as soon as I open the door but he wasn't there. I frowned. Before he left, Edward was always in my room at least after dinner. He could sneak in without waking up a sleepy Charlie, one of the pros of being a vampire.

I am debating myself to becoming one. But Edward and Rosalie refuse to let it happen. For Edward, it's because he wants me to be human and die a human. For Rosalie, well she hates me period. Sometimes I wonder if he was right about leaving, for wanting me to have a healthy human life.

I sat on my bed and signed, waiting for Edward to come. He never did. After awhile I heard Charlie walking upstairs and retreating into his bedroom. I was waiting for Edward for hours until 11:45 pm when I realized that he was truly upset with me. Both my boyfriend and best friend is angry with me. I felt loneliness and guilt. My mind went back to the day after my 18th birthday, when he left me there alone. Then my mind skipped over to when Jacob told me that he doesn't want to see me again. Those painful memories brought back those awful feelings.

A new feeling was added. Anger. I was angry with Edward for leaving me like that. I was angry with Jacob for hating me. I was feeling frustrated with everything.

I went into the bathroom to shower. I saw the razor and it came to me. I hurt Jacob so I deserve to be punished. I picked up the tiny razor and slowly sliced my forearm. It stung a bit but I didn't care. I stop.

'Just one more.' I thought as I made a couple more slices at my pale skin.

I step out of the shower and turn off the bathroom light. I dry myself off and put on my black pajama pants and blue tank top. As I lay on the bed I still felt the feeling of loneliness and bitterness. I curled up in hoping of protecting myself for feeling comforted and wanted.


Next Morning

The sound of my alarm clock awakens me from my dreamless sleep. I felt sad. Usually I wake up happy and refreshed in the morning. But that was because Edward would come at night and would sing me my lullaby. Before he left. This is now. I have to deal with that.

Edward was back along with his family. I should be happy and glad. But I am the opposite. Why?

I decided to wear a long sleeve maroon shirt with washout jeans. I ran downstairs to see if Charlie was in the kitchen. I looked outside to see that his police car was gone. I just skipped breakfast and head out the door.


Classes pretty much went the same before and after the Cullens. I was in Biology as Mr. Banner was explaining the life cycle stages of a frog. I heard snickering from two people behind me. I turn around to face Lauren and Jessica. Lauren shoots a glare at me.

"What are you staring at?" she snarls.

"Lauren," Came the serious voice of Mr. Banner. "Isabella, you two can finish your chat after my class."

I turned around and went onto taking notes.

"I knew Cullen would come to his senses about her,"

"I actually enjoyed her better when she was all depressed, Mike said she's such a tease," Jessica whispers.

"I heard that Quileute guy dumped her sorry ass," Lauren said. "So she ran back to Cullen. What a slut."

I felt tears burning in my eyes. I sat through the torture of Lauren and Jessica saying hurtful things about me until the bell rang. I was the first person out of the door. I went into the empty girls bathroom and went into the nearest stall. I silently cried for a few minutes until I came out.

I looked in the mirror. I hated the girl in the mirror. No one wanted this girl.

I went to lunch and sat by myself. I didn't even bother to look up. I was really into my book when I felt a cold hand touching mines.