"Mommy!" screamed my 5 year old son E.J.
I guess you could say love finds us eventually, or how I envisioned it would be before he left. Almost 47 years ago, I was left alone in the woods. After staying relentless nights wandering around still searching for what my heart ached for I finally did find someone, I could clearly only see the pale features but it was enough to have me running for it. Only then did I realize my mistake.
Flashback:
"Ahhhh Bella, little Bella swan, how enticing……….." sneered the only voice that's ever put even an ounce of fear in me. I walked slowly now challenging my steps, pacing myself if only for a moment, until I finally found the face I knew came with such a voice……….Victoria.
"I'm not afraid of you!" I stumbled back weakly trying to find footing. 1 year ago, you could have seen me begging for death, searching for it, almost causing it to a point, now I had something to live for, something to keep me going.
"Bella you of all people can understand this, my, my, you should know that what the heart wants………" she raced toward me, breaking the silence with the motion of her hand as she caught a fist full of my hair and had me on my knees in front of her before I even realized it was coming. "……………the heart gets, I wanted James…." She tugged on my hair, making me scream in agony.
"I wanted him Bella, I needed him, and what happened,……………….YOUR LOVER KILLED HIM, HE KILLED HIM, AND IN DOING SO KILLED ME!" she threw me back, then carefully taking in her surroundings, then me slowly, as if registering what she was capable of in such a setting if only to make it as painful as possible for me.
"Ahhh I can feel your pain Bella, I can sense it, tell me what would happen if your lover died, if he was yours fully and completely, and in this two parts of a whole, WHAT WOULD IT FEEL LIKE TO LOSE A HALF OF YOUR SELF." She was in my face again, clearly waiting for any signs of defiance, all she found was knowledge, the story my eyes told, how I knew exactly how she felt, weak, lost, unbalanced, as if the world shifted leaving you as confused as anyone can come, only searching for any way home.
At that moment I pitied Victoria, how much in common we have now, our loves torn from us, if not by will then by someone else's, each pain that brought with it opening of wounds that ached whenever a stray thought lead to a memory of a kiss or a meeting or anything that revolved around him. I understood her, and I wasn't afraid. I could never be afraid.
I stared her in the face, and in what she was I saw the tiniest trace, of me, of what I was, what I am. Killing me is what she deemed justice, so where was mine? Would I ever kill someone to get rid of the pain Edward left me with, no, but that's what made us different, in so many ways we were different, and therefore nothing could change what she came here to do.
She flinched and stood tall all trace of pain lost in whatever thought had occupied her head at that time. I could see she too had found my conclusion.
"Edward...he left a year ago, I never thought that it would happen, all signs were missing if not hidden, my better judgement still believed to an extent he still cared about me." I stood facing her; if I was going to die I wanted someone to know this, someone who understood.
"I felt lost but not driven by revenge, rather by pity, for myself. I know how it feels if not more. revenge healed you in a way, I never was so lucky as to have an ounce of favor to the thought of healing. If you must kill me, then I would die willingly knowing that you no longer felt the way I do, lost, dead to everything, that by killing me I was saving someone else. But don't expect Edward to come back for me, or avenge me, he's gone and by taking me you only get my blood, and by leaving me your still left the way you are." I stepped back and opened my arms, giving her a chance; my only hope was for it to be over quickly, if not faster than anything I would have gotten if forced.
The next moment I felt teeth piercing my neck, the unbelievable pain was almost a relief now, as my blood ran down my neck so did all my thoughts taking my mind with it, which was now only processing the pain now coursing through my body.
All too soon it stopped.
"Live Bella, live on with your pain… your suffering, I will not come again, but do remember my mercy, I shall not go as far to call you my sister but in more than one way that word is seemingly my only explanation for this, goodbye Bella ……………..Cullen." I fell to the floor in pieces, I was left alone, not soon did I feel the fire racing through my veins did I understand her words. But with that moment my life as Bella Swan was over, if not changed in every way possible.
End Flashback:
After that moment life went on, I returned to forks one last time, claiming my 2 month old son, and nothing else. Death was easing, I guess you could say my truck has now seen the heat of cliff diving. I picked up E.J from his bed and placed him on my lap.
He was Edward in every way. E.J had pale skin, that which comes with being a vampire, and the most amazing green eyes I've ever seen, with Edwards's nose, chin and bronze hair. The only resemblance to me was my sons heart shaped face, and my almost perfect lips.
Almost 6 months after his 5th birthday, E.J got sick, I couldn't bare it, without a moment hesitation I changed him, settling his future. Before his change he could read minds, after his change he gained access to mine as well.
Our house in the cloudy city of Forks was Charle's. Yes Forks, but you really can never stray too far from home. Jake, Sam, Emily, and Charlie, along with my step dad and baby sister Taylor, all died leaving my house easy access. My old room was now E.J's; I took Charle's with much delight.
"Mommy, tell me a story." I looked down and saw what I've been running from, E.J never once in over 40 years asked about his father, seeing as he could read my mind, it was never an issue, he found all he needed to know, with one memory, and closed that chapter of our lives quickly.
"Alright, baby." I replied, he would already know the story before I told it of course but he played as innocent as ever only hoping for one with his big Vampire uncle Emmett in it. From all my stories the one of his godfather stood out most, my high spiritedness was passed on to him, making Emmett's usual displays of childish pranks, a hit with my 5 year old son. Never once did his age bother him, some were probably meant to be children forever, but never did I want that to fall on E.J. my Edward Junior. Edward Emmett Carlisle Jasper Cullen was almost as self sacrificing as his father was.
"once upon a time, in the Cullen house hold, Emmett decided we need a pool, of course mommy though this was a horrible idea, but Emmett was determined……………………." I quickly went through the story highlighting ever thing, leaving nothing out, at the end E.J. was out cold. My son could sleep, and eat human food, it remains a mystery why, but it never concerned me at all. I placed him gently on his bed and tucked him in, normally I would watch him sleep, as the only thing that I could do, but tonight I had something to take care of.
I ran down the stairs and called Danielle, my best friend, who was also a vampire with the power to track down anyone in the world. This time I was going to find someone I've been missing forever, if only to say hi, or to wish well. Before I pressed the buttons my phone rang, I answered it. it was silent on the line before I heard a gentle sigh of relief.
"Bella….." I smiled brighter thn anything. I should have know.
"Ohhhh Alice!"
