Rexa13: Sooo this little fic came out of no where. I'm sorry if any of it seems out of character. I'm just trying to have it fit a certain tone while I try to make it fit the characters.
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, or anything for that matter, like Sharpie.
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There was always a nice flowery scent in Carly's neat and organized room. Even though I wasn't like like Carly, all neat and clean, I still loved the way her room looked and smelled. Sometimes I would get jealous that she had so many awesome things but I did spend most of my time at her apartment anyways.
Lately there was less of an appeal of coming to Carly's house. Instead of hanging out with my best friend like I normally would, I now had to sit around and be the third wheel to her and Freddie. Sure they had dated before but it was never like this. It was more of how Freddie and I had dated, being all over each other and such.
So I tried to get out of Carly's some but it's hard when you don't really have any friends and staying home watching my mom sit around and bitch or be with her boyfried was what I had to do. I didn't want to do any of that bogus stuff so I would suck it up and continue hanging out at Carly's. I could always raid her fridge and get into crazy situations with Spencer and Gibby after all.
Today we were in Carly's fresh scented room. I was laying on Carly's bed reading an article about monster trucks in a magazine while Carly and Freddie sat on her couch talking quietly. Occasionally I would glance at the two and glare or roll my eyes. I don't know how Carly put up with mine and Freddie's relationship. I also didn't know how much longer I would be able to take this feeling in my chest.
As I took a sip of my orange juice I pondered this ache in my chest that I would get at the mere thought of Freddie and Carly being together. It didn't make sense that I was feeling about this. I was perfectly fine when Freddie went on the extremely rare date with another girl and I was fine when Carly went out on dates or had boyfriends.
Carly and Freddie had been together for like three weeks now. Every time they even looked at each other I felt sick. At first I thought it might be because I still had feelings for Freddie but I knew that couldn't be it because it had been months since we were together. I had gone on a couple dates myself and found that I was content being without him. So I don't understand how or why I would feel like this.
'Knock it off Pucket. You're just getting yourself worked up over nothing,' I thought trying to get back to the article in front of me. My stomach growled as I lazily looked at the page and a half long article.
"Whelp while you two love birds do whatever it is you do I'm going to go get some grub," I said tossing the magazine on the bed.
"Again?" Carly asked giggling. She hardly even looked at me as she asked.
"Yeah its like you just got back," Freddie said.
"Yeah yeah whatever," I rolled my eyes. I was starting to get an annoyance that only meat could settle. I knew there was chicken and ham in Carly's fridge and they had been calling my name all day.
"Okay have fun," Carly said going back to her and Freddie's conversation that would most likely lead to kissing the second I walked out of the room. At least they had the decency to do that.
"Yeah you two," I mumbled knowing that even if they heard me they would just ignore it.
Spencer was in the living room with Gibby. The two were talking about some stupid show they were watching. Just like Freddie and Carly upstairs, the guys didn't even know I was around. It wasn't a surprise to see me in the kitchen though so I couldn't blame them, yet I really wanted a bit of attention. I was about ready to pick a fight.
"Whoa Spence," I called when I looked in the fridge and couldn't find the ham.
Spencer screamed a bit obviously surprised by my presence. It took a second before he was able to answer me. "Uh yeah?"
"What happened to that attractive ham that was just in here like fifteen minutes ago?" I asked moving around some leftovers that smelled good.
"Oh Gibby and I ate it. There wasn't much left," Spencer replied.
"But it was delicious," Gibby said.
"Yeah it was," Spencer agreed before the two gave each other a high five.
"Ugh," I groaned closing the fridge and walking to the door. Before I opened it I looked at the guys for a split second. They looked happy while they talked about the cartoon that was on the television.
"You leaving?" Spencer asked. I was surprised he even noticed I was leaving.
"Uh I'm gonna go to the Groovy Smoothie. There's probably something there to eat," I said. I didn't wait for anything else to be said. I just needed some time alone, even though it seemed that's all I ever got these days.
The walk to the Smoothie felt nice. The fresh Seattle air really helped to clam me down. Though I did miss the cleaner smell of Carly's bedroom. At the thought of why I left and the couple inside I really wished I didn't miss it. They probably wouldn't even notice that I was gone.
I entered the shop quickly and was thankful that there was no line. The shop was often busy at this time of day. But there were only a couple people in the shop. The bright neon lights kept the shop looking big and open. T-Bo was behind the counter with a stick that looked like it had sone sort of baked good on it.
"Hey T-Bo," I said as I walked over to the counter.
"Sam," T-Bo greeted with a large smile as he turned around. On his stick was cucakes that looked a bit messy. "Where's Carly and uh that tech boy you dated...Freddie or whatever."
I couldn't help but smile at the fact that T-Bo forgot Freddie's name. It was actually quite comforting that the couple's names weren't instantly put together. But then I remembered that they were together and my smile faded.
"Eh they're in Carly's room probably making out," I said as though I didn't care. "Now do you think I could get my usual?"
"Of course," T-Bo said before looking at his stick. "Cupcake? They're only eight bucks a dozen."
The thought of the sweet was very good sounding. They would even complement my beloved smoothie. "Sure T-Bo I'll take some," I said taking out my wallet and pulling out the money I needed to pay.
Within five minutes I was enjoying my purchased goods. I wasn't paying much attention though. I couldn't get Carly and Freddie out of my head. I hardly even noticed when T-Bo sat down and then it took me another few seconds to realize that he had actually joined me.
"Can I help you?" I asked looking at the man. He was looking at me his cupcakes still in hand.
"What's wrong with you girl?" T-Bo asked looking a bit concerned. "You've been coming here alone everyday looking really lost."
"What nothing," I said looking down. "I've just been thinking about stuff for iCarly. I can't think with a couple eating each others faces "
"Ew," T-Bo said and I laughed a bit. "But you have all dated each other a zillion times so that doesn't seem like the real problem. Does someone maybe still have feelings for a certain nerd?"
"No way. Freddie and I are back to out weird friendship that consists of beatings and lots of bets. Then Carly and I will always be best friends."
"Mhmm. Well maybe you're jealous of this couple that is always all over each other. Maybe you don't love one of them but being a third wheel isn't always fun. I had these friends one time..."
I didn't really care to listen to T-Bo's story. But this wasn't because I was a lazy jerk, it was more of what T-Bo had said. "Maybe you don't love one of them." What did he mean by that? Was he insisting that there was a chance that I was in love with Freddie, which would have been possible months ago, but in love with Carly? He had to mean in a bestfriend way.
"...And it was like that duck was their baby. I swear they had bottle fed it and everything," T-Bo continued oblivious to the fact that I wasn't paying attention.
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That night I dreamed about Carly. I can't lie, I've dreamt about her like this before. But I never thought anything of it. I mean I had romantic dreams about bacon before. There was something different about this dream though. When I woke up I was sweating and my heat was pounding. I felt sad that I was awake and what T-Bo said was starting to make sense to me.
"Samantha if you don't get up this instant I'm going to kick down this damn door," my mom shouted as she pounded on said door.
I had been awake listening to her scream for ten or so minutes. My cat was looking agitated while he was curled up next to me. Sometimes it seemed he didn't like my mom more than I did.
"Okay I'm up," I snapped petting the cat lightly making sure he wouldn't freak out about all the raised voices. "I'm surprised she's up to wake us up."
As I got ready I couldn't stop thinking about my dream. It was simple one where Carly and I were just cuddling on her more than comfortable bed. It felt so right holding her in my arms as she rested her head on my chest. Her hair smelled like strawberries which went so well the floral scent of her room. We didn't even need to kiss for everything to feel so perfect.
What T-Bo said was really screwing me up. Now I was starting to think I was in love with Carly, my bestfriend since elementary school, my practical sister. I couldn't believe that I was even thinking about this. It would make a lot more sense to be thinking about Freddie.
"I'm just thinking too hard," I tried to convince myself before I walked out the door to get on my way to school. "That's got to be it."
"What are you over there mumbling about?" My mom asked from our very stained couch.
"Nothing," I sighed. "Why don't you go back to bed?"
Sometimes I would swear my mom was tweaking. It was like she was hardly eating these days and she was awake at strange hours. I was used to her waking up around one and working night shifts. I didn't even know if she had her job anymore she did have boyfriends to keep us in our crappy tiny apartment.
It took a little while to get to school. Sometimes Carly would give me a ride in her new old car. All three of us had gotten our licenses recently but only Carly had a car. It wasn't the nicest thing ever but it was exciting for her to have a car. But sometimes I was stuck taking the two buses and four block walk to school. On these days I was always a little late, not like I cared that much.
Today however, I wasn't enjoying my time as much as I usually did. The way to school could always be a thrill with the tons of fights erupting on the bus. There was a lot you could see on buses in large cities. But today I wasn't watching or making havoc. All I could think about was Carly. I was really feeling like I was going insane.
Once I got to school I knew I had to pay a bit of attention. Finals were coming up and I was going to have to work my ass off if I wanted to pass this year. I wouldn't want to have to spend five years in highschool, and if I continued to be this lazy that was going to happen. I would hate to have two more years of highschool.
"Driving school was better than this place," I sighed as I rummaged through my locker. I didn't even know what class I was going to be in right now. There was ten more minutes until school started and I really needed Carly to remind me of my days classes.
"There you are," a too familiar voice said and my heart started to flutter.
"Hey," I said looking at Carly who was hand in hand with Freddie. My fast heartbeat slowed as my heart sank. I knew I didn't sound like my normal self either.
"Why haven't you answered any of my texts? I could have given you a ride this morning," Carly looked at me with concern in her eyes. "Spencer said you went to the Groovy Smoothie last night and you never came back."
"Yeah I had some homework to do. You know I like to have D's and maybe a C before finals," I answered looking away.
"Are you okay?" Carly asked.
I pulled out my english book remembering that was my first class. "Yeah I'm perfectly okay," I lied before closing the locker door and walked past Carly who looked even more concerned.
It was true. I was in love with Carly. I had only ever gone out with guys, I didn't even know I could like girls, or a girl. But here I was totally in love with my best friend. Realizing things about yourself was always totally scary, especially when it concerned your sexuality. Being this way could easily destroy everything for me, and if I ever told her, Carly.
'Pfft I can take care of myself,' I thought rolling my eyes. I could beat up everyone at the school and I had already foought a good number of people. 'Anyone that messes with Carly knows they'll end up in a hospital.' I had already fought a number of people for Carly's sake. I wasn't going to let anyone mess with either of us.
But this information could ruin our friendship. Sure Freddie, Carly, and I had always remained friends as we went through our crushes on each other. Freddie and Carly were friends for years while Freddie crushed on her. They were together now, though. If I told Carly how I felt then she could tell Freddie and it could make everything awkward. The friendship that would be strained the most was mine and Freddie's.
I could hardly focus in class, not that I could focus on boring teachers anyways. I just doodled on a piece of paper and thought about what I was going to do. I didn't know how I was going to face Carly at passing periods or lunch. She was going to ask what was going on with me every chance she got. The more I brush it off the worse it was goiing to get.
"Can I use the restroom?" I asked raising my hand.
"Sam I'm in the middle of a lecture. These are valuable notes if you want to pass the class."
"I won't be gone long. If I was I would just leave," I snapped. I stood up and walked to the door where the pass hung on the doorknob.
"Hurry up Ms. Puckett," was the reply I got as I walked out the door.
It was annoying dealing with teachers. They always wanted you to sit there for an hour and really work. I don't see how anyone could do it when it was so boring. I knew that there was always a lot of drama going around this school so people must have had the hardest times trying to get the best grades they could.
I made my way to the restroom as quickly as I could. I didn't really have to go but I didn't feel like dealing with someone telling me to hurry up and get back to class. Besides the restroom could be a good place to listen to the laughable gossip. Writing on the bathroom walls was always fun too.
Luckily, I didn't see anyone in the bathroom. I always went to the one with the worst plumbing because it had the most interesting doodles and writing. When girls didn't care about going to the bathroom they would come here to fix their hair or make up. During class it wasn't full of girls primping and chatting, which made ditching a few minutes of class a bit more bearable.
I went into the largest stall at the end. It was the stall that had a wall running along it so it was more difficult to tell if it was in use. There was a lot more space to mark the walls. This is where girls went if they really had something to get off their chest or a larger piece of art in mind. The walls were littered were of marker and the occasional pencil marks. Writing in pencil was always the dumb because it got covered a good deal of the time.
For a couple minutes I just looked at the newest additions. The spaces left were really beginning to be limited. I didn't have any intentions of writing on the wall but after I looked at new stuff I got an idea.
I took the sharpie out of my pocket and found a good sized spot to write. It was a couple inches abouve the toilet and I could write large if I wanted to. I began to write as neatly as I could muster. If I wrote in my normal crappy handwriting then everyone would know it was Samantha Puckett writing this shocking news.
'I'm in love with a girl.' I wrote. I even put a little border around it so it would be noticable. I didn't care if anyone saw it and it became the biggest piece of gossip. I just wanted to get it out of my head. I could honestly say writing it on a bathroom wall really helped.
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Rexa13: I'll try to update this as soon as possible. I don't know how many chapters it'll have. The next one will probably be the conclusion.
