Everyone thinks it's easy to tell someone you love them. It is for most. But it wasn't for Sollux. He couldn't manage portraying any type of affection towards the one he loved. The one he loved most, cherished most, and wanting anything and everything to do with had no idea. And still doesn't, he wanted to keep it that way until he was positive that his better half loved him too.
That was years ago. Now, he was laying in a bed, curled up in a blanket, warm sun shining on his face, it was the greatest feeling. He pushed most of that feeling back into his cold, lost heart, keeping only a shred of it so he could get through the day without giving up. He forced himself out of the unfamiliar bed, every muscle ached and his head was killing him. Sometimes he wished someone would finish him off so he could leave his wretched hell of a hometown.
It was nothing but a putrid dump filled with filthy people and horrible memories. But it was the only he felt at home, besides being with him. He picked up his jeans and shoes by the green, apartment door. He made sure he had everything before glancing back at the half naked guy tangled in the sheets. He didn't even know who he was.
This was a typical situation for Sollux. He works at this lame-ass computer programming shop throughout the weekdays and has weekends off so on the weekends he does whatever he wants. It mostly is playing video games and sleeping in late, but when he starts to think about him, he is hit with all these emotions and feelings that he's been pushing back since he last saw his love. Three years ago. He then goes out drinking, gets hammered, and the next thing he knows is that he's curled up with a complete stranger in a shitty complex trying to make up an excuse to write and deleting whatever he found unfamiliar in his phone.
He walked down the stairs, 8 flights to be exact. "How iin the world diid ii get up here drunk?" He thought including the fact that there was no type of elevator of any sorts nearby. He checked his arms while walking down a crowded sidewalk. No needle marks. Sollux always made sure he didn't do anything to really hurt himself. Emotions didn't physically hurt you. They hurt you every other way except physical. He walked up to a nice, modern building and buzzed the intercom button.
"Uh...yeah...can ii be buzzed iin? ii'm here to thee thomeone." Sollux spoke the words as fluently as he could so he wouldn't give away his lisp so easily. He waited for the office to probably stop laughing and buzz him in. "bzzzzz" the door went. He pulled back the heavy steel door and headed for the elevator.
The tall and slim boy steeped into the elevator who already had a few riders already. Almost instinctively he headed for the corner of the elevator after pressing the floor his friend was on. He looked up only a few times from his phone to catch a few glaring back at him. He was used to this; Sollux had somewhat straight black hair, was enormously tall, and wore not practically "normal" sunglasses. They were given to him by somebody really special, he thought sometimes himself that the one red lens and the one blue lens glasses were idiotic. It reminded him of his eyes, one icy blue and one redwood colored eye. He didn't mind the stares at all; he got enough when he walked down the street with any dude he was going ho me with. Being a twenty two year old gay guy, towering awkwardly tall, and being cursed with heterochromia got him tons of weird looks all of his life.
He continued to play on his phone waiting for the bell that released him from this hellhole. "bing!" Sollux squeezed through a fat lady who looked like she is too grand to even look at him and a mother with a few sticky, screaming kids. He looked down the long corridor of the luxurious apartments. He lives in a disgusting, one-bedroom apartment in downtown Manhattan.
Sollux strolled down the hallway as casually as he could before reaching the door painted blue with a brass engraving of "413" on the front and knocked on the door. He dug his hands in his back pockets and looked up at the ceiling wondering what's taking him so long. Finally the door opened and Sollux was greeted by the only face he recognizes anymore. Besides him.
"ii need to talk to you." he finally managed to mumble after a few moments of awkward staring.
