So I'm back, with yet another Grelliam oneshot, and I regret absolutely nothing. This whole idea came to me when I was cosplay shopping. I was looking for a cheap sword to modify for my Devil May Cry cosplay, but all I could find were pompoms. Jokingly, my friend and I said I should go as the Undertaker and Grell with the pompoms and then in hopped my story idea. I hope you like it, though be warned, it is weird. Read, review and enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the cheerleading outfits. Cuz that'd be weird.

The Thing About Cheerleader's Legs

William T. Spears was having one of those days. The kind that made a man want to rip his hair out and eat it. It was Grell's day off , and so, usually, that meant a peaceful day at the office and a lot less overtime. But on that particular day, that was most definitely not the case.

Over the past fourteen hours, William had lost his glasses three times, the coffee machine had exploded over his clean shirt, an ink cartridge had spilled on his tie, Ronald had knocked five, fully organised, stacks of paperwork to the ground, proceeding to spill his brightly coloured energy drink on a sixth, and Eric and Alan had been sent on a mission, only to let three souls be eaten by demons because they were too busy copulating in the janitor's closet.

So, needless to say, by the end of this hellish day, all William wanted to do was to go home and relax on the couch with Grell and a nice cup of tea.

What he got, however, was something else entirely, something a lot more likely to cause a heart attack than to relieve stress.

William trudged through the front door of his apartment, leaving his keys on the table and heading to the kitchen to get his tea. The tea, however, was promptly dropped onto the floor with a smash as he entered the sitting room.

"Will, darling, I'm so glad you're home, but really, do you have to be so clumsy?" Grell scolded lightly.

"I-I..."

William couldn't speak by this point, because he seemed to have just lost the will to live, no pun intended. Around the coffee table sat Grell, Ronald and the Undertaker, a fairly regular occurrence in itself. But for some reason, all three of his fellow Reapers were dressed as cheerleaders.

"Sutcliff... Why?"

The redhead grinned, wrapping his arms around his lover's neck, his pigtails bouncing as he moved.

"Do you like it, Will? Ronald wants to date one of those cheerleading girls in the human realm, so we're going undercover. Aren't these outfits just fabulous?"

"Really, Knox? Don't you think this is going a little far just for for a date?" William sighed, plonking unceremoniously on to the couch, though making sure to stay as far away from the Undertaker as it would allow. It was bad enough seeing Ronald dressed like that, and it hadn't been the first time he'd found Grell in a dress, but Undertaker in a miniskirt, with pigtails protruding from under his hat, was a sight that could never be unseen.

"No way, boss, if you'd seen her you'd totally understand, she's gorgeous! She's got all this hair, and all these legs..."

"Aheheheh, I thought she only had two legs, Mr. Knox," the Undertaker giggled, twisting his hair around his fingers.

"Well, yeah, but... there's a lot of them... Cuz, they're long and stuff. She's sexy, okay?"

"Is she a lesbian?"

Ronald blinked at his boss, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. "Uh, I don't think so. I-I mean, not that I know of," the boy stuttered, "Why, boss?"

"If she isn't a lesbian, why are you dressing up as a girl? Honestly, Knox, you really should've thought this through," William stated, polishing his glasses.

"O-oh, I guess you're right." Ronald took the ribbons out of his hair with a sigh.

"It's okay, Ronnie, we'll come up with a new plan soon, you'll see, and that Leg-girl will fall in love with you, and you'll get married, and I'll be bridesmaid, and you'll run off into the sunset, and have little Ronald babies, and I'll be Aunt Grell, and I'll knit them hats, and they'll be so stylish, and-" Grell's incessant rambling was finally cut off when William placed a firm hand over his mouth, hoping to the god's that Grell didn't decide to bite him with those teeth.

"Right, Mr. Knox, Mr. Undertaker, it's been a pleasure as always, but I think perhaps the two of you should go make a new plan somewhere else, somewhere that isn't my house, and something that doesn't involve cheerleading outfits. Goodbye," said William, all but shoving the two Reapers out of his apartment.

"Well, that was rude, William," Grell stated, sprawling across the couch.

"You know what else is rude, Sutcliff? When you insist on eyeing me up with that entirely seductive grin, especially while dressed in such a provocative outfit," William replied, pulling the redhead on to his lap.

"And I thought you didn't like the outfit, Will?" Grell giggled, stroking his lover's hair.

"On those two, it's quite the assault to my eyes. You, however, seem to pull it off rather well. After all, you've got all this hair, and all these legs," William teased, and that line alone led to the erotic escapades of the rest of the night.


"Will, darling, come back to bed," Grell whined as the alarm sounded the next morning.

"No, Sutcliff, I'll be late for work, and so will you, though there's nothing new there," William quipped, wading to his wardrobe, the bedroom floor strewed with skirts and pompoms.

"... Grell? Why does the wardrobe smell like a minty pine tree?"

"Oh... Um... It just needed some air freshening?" Grell suggested. "Do you want tea? I want tea. I'm going to go make tea, tea is great, everybody loves tea," he rambled, rushing to the kitchen.

Ten minutes later and William finally emerged from the bedroom with an exasperated sigh, leaning in to kiss Grell on the cheek before grabbing his coat.

"Oh, and Sutcliff ," William stopped at the door. "I want those three dead cheerleaders out of my wardrobe by the time I come home."

The End