Disclaimer: Carter owns the Gallagher Series. I own this story/plot. No copywriting here.
A/N: So this idea was bouncing around in my head for awhile. I'm not the best writer, but I was hoping that somehow my words would turn into a story. R&R :]
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~Prologue~
Morgan farm in Nebraska
July 1, 2008
Cammie,
I'm not real sure how to begin this. If you're reading this right now, then it's clear that I've failed you. I've failed us. There's so much I've hid from you. So much I couldn't tell you. But one of the few things I can say and really need you to know is that I'm sorry. I'd be on my knees, groveling at your feet right now, and begging for your forgiveness if I knew that would work. But I'm sure you're fed up with my apologies since I just keep doing the same shit again and again. I'm sorry for that too.
I also apologize for every little annoying thing I've ever done. Like leaving the toilet seat up. Or eating the last Oreo. Or eating the whole box of Oreos. And I'm really sorry for killing your goldfish. That other day, you weren't seeing things when you thought that Flounder looked fatter. What you saw was Flounderette, a pregnant fish that I purchased from Walmart. Though by now, you've probably realized that.
But on a more serious note, I'm truly sorry for leaving you on your birthday. It breaks my heart that you had to wake up alone. I'm especially sorry that I lied to you. I lied about my work. I lied about my friends. I lied about everything. But, Gallagher Girl, please know that whenever I was with you that was me. All of it was me. Even at times when I didn't know who I was, you've always seen through my bullshit. And I thank you for that.
However, as much as I want to take all of that back—the lies and the secrecy—I can't. I have a duty to my country. I can't tell you what I do. And I can't tell you where I am. Just know that I'm ok and am missing you in my arms.
I'll be back for you. I promise. One day you'll see me again. If I can't make it back to the States for some reason, I'll be in Paris, a year from the date on this letter. You've always wanted to go there, right?
I love you. So much. I know I've never really shared with you how I felt. I know I've only said "I love you" once a long time ago. I wish I could spin time around so that I could tell you that I loved you every minute of the day. And if that got annoying, I'd tell you at least once a day so then you'd never have to doubt my feelings. Like you probably do now.
I understand if you want to give up on me. I'd give up on me too. Tell Grant that I didn't mean to put him in this position. Hiding things from you, I mean. I told him to wait until July to give this to you. Don't blame him.
Please meet me in Paris. I know I should tell you to move on. I know that I'm a horrible fiancé. I know this is selfish. But don't give up on me. I won't give up on you.
Always yours,
Josh
P.S. Je t'aime. Toujours.
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I will be posting the next chapter tommorrow. I'm just tweaking it a little from the original to get the plot moving a little faster. This will be a Zammie story... just reassuring you.
Review. They motivate me :]
