Prologue

Jared's Point of View

How can he know I'm ready. I don't even know if I'm ready. School is not ready for a wolf to join.

Sam. He always has to use his Alpha voice. He always has to be in control. Well it will be his fault if I hurt someone.

I know he is only trying to help. My Mom was getting pretty worried but I need more time. It's only been three weeks away from school, away from lots of people. Sam said he took two weeks to turn human again. I wonder how long I'd take without Sam helping me.

When I first phased, it took me three days to become human again. I bolted the second I knew I wasn't human, Sam was a wolf then so he found me in a couple minutes. I was way too freaked out to listen to him for a while. When I finally chilled out enough to be a human again and I was just standing there, naked, in the forest.

Not that I was ashamed, I have a pretty good body. I'd been gaining muscle lately and growing so that helped. I still don't want a guy seeing my junk though. I'd rather Penny did.

My girlfriend Penny, argh, I'd have to see her today. I've been avoiding her since I turned, we've been kinda dating for a few months. Not really a relationship just sex, we hang out sometimes too. I wouldn't usually put up with her drama, always nagging and needy, but she is really hot.

Being a wolf makes me really horny too. This does not help with not being able to see Penny. I can't even handle things on my own since my memory could slip.

I can't be near anyone, Sam is worried about me losing control. I get it, we've both been close, I've never let it take over. I could handle some people better than say a school full of people. Sam won't listen.

I'm grateful for Sam. He's been there for me through everything, he was there when I turned. He was a wolf at the time, so he heard my thoughts when I first turned. I know it is completely insane, shapeshifters can hear each others thoughts. The crazy award goes to... Jared Cameron. At least it's only in wolf form.

I couldn't bear someone in my head every second of every day, not even Sam who understands. Sometimes a guy needs privacy. Privacy would have been good last night when I had no way to relieve stress since I'm not good at keeping thoughts to myself yet.

School is sooo not the answer to being a shapeshifter, I should be running patrol of the town, not learning a ton of shit that is useless since I'm supposed to stay and protect La Push for my life. Stupid Alpha Voice. I have no choice but to bare the boredom and lecturing of Quiluete Tribal School.

\-

Kim's Point of View

Great. My life is just great.

It has been three weeks since I have seen Jared Cameron. I know it's ridiculous and pathetic. I still miss him. I don't even know him properly.

I feel stupid. We have never even had a conversation. Him saying 'Hi' to me when we first met in Kindergarten. But then he just ran off to play with the other kids, so I don't count that. Neither do I count 'Can I have a pen?'. This I blushed at and gave him my only good pen. That being our last encounter, nearly a month ago, I had used a half broken pen for the three remaining periods of that day.

It's starting to get weird though. He hasn't been in school for weeks. There are many rumours of course but I don't think anyone actually knows why he isn't here.

Now I am really wondering. Not like it has been playing on my mind for the duration of his absence. Is he ill? If so, it must be bad to be off for weeks? No, everyone would know, his mother would have told the school that. Has he gone on a holiday? Unlikely, people in La Push aren't really those sort of people, nor do many have enough money to go for a three week holiday. If they did they would just go in the summer holidays.

One rumour is especially odd. Tom, one of my kind-of-friends-that-I-only-eat-lunch-with-occasionally, told me Jared has been taking steroids. That he had been hanging out with Sam Uley often and he was becoming just like Sam.

La Push, our little town, is run by a council. The council members, elders, are passed down each generation. Sam is an exception. His father left him and his mom when Sam was a baby; his grandfather was on the council though. The current elders consist of four people - Sam,illy Black, Old Quil and Harry Clearwater.

Billy Black has a son called Jacob who is a junior like me but I don't really know him. He is best friends with Embry Call and Quil Ateara. Quil's grandfather is Old Quil, this town is really interconnected.

Harry Clearwater has two kids, a boy called Seth or something, I don't know him at all, he's a freshman, bright and happy. Unlike his sister. Leah Clearwater is Sam Uley's ex. When I was a freshman three years ago, they were the school's power couple. Some months back though, they broke up. They left school a few years ago but everyone still knew about them. It was the talk of La Push. Sam supposedly is in love with her cousin and Leah now hates them both. It's a close, small town. I don't remember much else about him.

Most people think Sam's a bad guy. I don't know him that well, but he never seemed that way. Now people say he is doing steroids since he has grown really tall and muscular. And Jared is hanging out with him. I don't know what to believe. I don't want Jared to be a mini-me of Sam. I want him to be my Jared. I can't help hoping, but I worry more. He's got to be okay.

I need to stop worrying about him. Damn it! I need to stop thinking about him all together. My diary is starting to feel sick with all the same writing - 'Jared and Kim', 'Kim and Jared', 'Kim Cameron' - and 'Jared' in a heart. What else would you write in a diary if not your eternal crush?

My Grandmother gave me this one for my last birthday in September (23rd). I felt bad for not using it so I decided to use it as more of a notebook. All I ever write is Jared. It kind of fits though. You write about your feelings in a diary, the only person I have feelings towards excluding tolerance and hate, is Jared.

I feel like it's more than a crush with Jared. It has lasted since I was eleven. I did have an on-off crush on him for years before that - since the first day or kindergarten to be exact - but it doesn't count. I'm seventeen now, I know how I feel, I have real feelings for Jared. I will never surrender to unrequited love with him. I just really like him.

Even though I do know I should just get over him, I can't. I like him and there is nothing I can do. So i'm still here at my little lunch table with my few friends, that i'm not particularly close with, writing Jared and Kim and drawing hearts in my diary. While glancing over at his usual lunch table trying to be sneaky so no one notices.