My date with the Minister of Magic!

I went back to my office at the Ministry of Magic with a bright smile on my face. It was empty except for Dennis, who seemed to be under his desk looking for something. "Dennis, no ones here and it's time to go anyways, so I'll see you next week." I said.

Dennis' blonde head popped from under his desk and he squealed "Bye Justin!" I seriously liked that kid. He had all the making to become my protégé, and yes I needed a protégé, the world wasn't complete with a fierce and fashionable man like me to ask people 'what they were playing at.' I whistled as I thought about how awesome I was and flooed into my flat.

Waiting on my couch was my favorite fag hag, Susan Bones. She was frowning, "Justin!" she whined when I walked out of the floo "You totally canceled on me! You better have a good reason!" She continued.

I gave her a hug, and nuzzled her shoulder and muttered "I'm sorry, I should have owled you before hand, but I do have a good reason." I couldn't help but smile as I thought of my reason.

"It better not be because of a boy! Everyone knows it's chicks before dicks!" She scolded slightly.

"No, not a boy, a man!" I responded in a somewhat dreamy voice.

She waited. "Well!? Who is he? What does he do? What does he look like? Did you have sex?" She rattled off questions.

"Woah, slow down sweetie! " I answered.

"Justin!" she squealed.

"Fine. He's tall, dark, and handsome. He works at the ministry, and no we didn't have sex…yet." I answered coyly.

"Oh, so, he works in the ministry? Do I know him?" Susan asked.

"Well, EVERYONE knows him! However that's not the point! He's coming here at 6:45 to pick me up for dinner! What should I wear!?" I squealed as I bounced off the couch.

"Oh, you could wear your leather pants and a button down shirt!" Susan answered. "No, Ernie's borrowing that." I answered.

"Ernie!?! Why would he be wearing that? Are you sure he's not gay?" Susan asked.

"Susan! That's not the point! I dunno what to wear, but the good thing is, I did my toenails while he was teaching the lesson." I said as I walked into my room decorated in my favorite colors yellow and black bedroom. I flipped on the wizard wireless; a Madame Lala marathon on, and it was just the right sound to get me cranked up to go tonight!

"He was teaching your lesson? The man you're going out with was teaching your lesson?" Susan asked quietly.

"Duh!" I answered. Honestly, she was suppose to be the smartest out of my biffles and she couldn't even keep up with the covo?

"Justin!" Susan squealed suddenly.

"What?" I asked as I jumped in surprise, her squeal nearly scared the shit out of me.

"What do you mean 'what?' you can't date Neville! He's married to Hannah! Justin you're ruining everything! I know you had a crush on him when we were in the DA, but he has a wife now, who happens to be one of our best friends and-"

"NEVILLE!?!" I said with a horrified look on my face. "I'm not going out with Neville! He's a total loser loser-y bear!"

"Well, that's good to know. Not about the loser loser-y bear, but about the not dating him." Susan sighed, she was really afraid that Hannah would be heartbroken if she found out Neville was gay….and was going out with Justin, that was the main reason Hannah broke up with Ernie during Hogwarts, she was sure Ernie was cheating on her with Justin. "Wait, if you're not going out with Neville, then your going out with-" Susan cut herself off with a gasp, "What! How the hell did you get a date with Harry Potter!? Last I heard he was dating his muggle cousin!"

"Susan! You are the worst guesser I ever met in my life!" I exclaimed as I put on my black skinny Jeans, and a tight yellow shirt.

"Well, just tell me!" Susan asked.

"Okay spoil my guessing game! I'm going out with the Minister." I said as I put on my black guyliner. Susan just stood there with shock written all over her face. Her mouth was hanging open very unattractively. I put on his lip-gloss and looked over at Susan, "Well, say something…"

"What are you playing at?" Susan asked.

Now I was the one gaping unattractively. "You think I'm lying! Are you saying that I'm not hot! That the minister wouldn't date me?" I said dramatically.

"Well…" Susan began, "Your chin is kind of large, and you kind of-"

"Susan!" I screeched.

"But you have a great personality! Most of the time."

"Susan!" I yelled, I just about had and I was about to have a major bitch fit! "Get out! Just get out! You're stressing me out and I don't want to have my first grey hair on my first date with the Minister!" I screamed.

"Oh Justin I'm so sorry! I'm just insanely jealous! And…are you sure it's your first? I mean remember that time when Ernie stole your favorite rhinestone incrusted purple shirt? I was sure you got a grey form- " She started

"Okay, okay, just forget about! Anyways there is a more important issue: would it come off as too slutty if I was to put out on the first date?" I asked.

"Well it is Minister, so you might as well." Susan said with a giggle.

"Me and the Minister!" I mumbled.

"Awwww! You guys are such a cute pairing! You should marry and get mpregged and have all these babbies that go to Hogwarts and get into a fight with the Ravenclaws and-" Susan began.

I cut her off quickly "Slow down Susan! It's our first date, I don't want to even think about marriage!"

"Well, you should. I hate to tell you this but you are not getting any younger, and your looks are definitely declining so you may wanna get a-" She began.

And I once again cut her off , "Susan! I…" I started, but then glanced at the clock, it was 6:30 already! "Oh shit, you need to go, I need to pick out shoes, and I only have 30 minutes!" I panicked.

"30 minutes? I thought he was coming in 15 minutes?" Susan said stupidly.

"I have to be fashionably late." I said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Toodles." I said as I dismissed her. 15 minutes after she left I heard the roar of my fireplace lighting up.

"Justin?" I heard a deep sexy voice call from my living room.

"Uh, I'll be out soon, take a seat and make your self at home." I responded back as I put on my checkered H&M scarf. I was still debating about shoes; usually I would go with favorite yellow shoes, but at the moment they looked liked banana shoes. My sparkly black shoes looked too gay. I rolled his eyes at Ernie's black converses, and decided to go with my yellow and black checkered high tops that went with my scarf. I put on a cropped black leather jacket, and put my aviators on top of his head. I surveyed my reflection and hoped I didn't look to young or to hip to be out with the minister. I took off my leather jacket and put on my black robe with yellow trim. I looked young yet elegant. I then practiced my sexy smile for a while, until the clock hit 7, I turned off Madame Lala and made a slow retreat into my living room. I wanted to walk all sexy and slowly but I ended up tripping on my robes, the Minister caught me, and I felt my face heat up in embarrassment, but it was kind of romantic I decided as his arms went around me, and helped me be steady on my feet. "Hi" I breathed out.

"Hello Justin." He said as he raked his eyes down my body, and back up to my eyes. I couldn't help but smile. He moved out of the awkward embrace, and picked up something from the couch. It was a dozen blushing peach roses.

"Thank you!" I squealed very unsexy. I wanted to palmface, but I just grabbed the flowers and purred "I'll put this in water." He gave me an odd look. I guess my sexy purr didn't have an affect on him, damn. I noticed he wasn't checking me out as I went to put the flowers in a vase, and I was starting to get really offended but then I realized it was because I was wearing robes. I sighed. I was determined to make this date better! As I went back into the living room I noticed the Minister staring at the pictures on my mantle. I hugged him from behind and said again "Thank you." I went to give him a kiss on the cheek but he turned and an innocent kiss turned into a not so innocent kiss. He was pulling me into his arms and I wrapped my hand around his neck and rubbed the back of his smooth bald head. As the kiss started to heat up more, in the back of my mind a voice that sounded oddly like Hannah's was yelling 'SLOW DOWN! You didn't even go out to dinner' then a voice that sounded like Susan's answered back 'so what! It's the minister!' Then a voice that sounded strangely like Ernie's was like 'Hay! I wanna talk in Justin's head! What's up, bro?' I pulled back from the kiss and loss my balance, tripped on both of our ropes and we were both falling. I've never been more embarrassed, but the minister was laughing not in a cruel way, but in a happy way. He got on his feet and helped me up.

"We should go anyways, we have reservations at 7:15. We flooed to a very high end place called "Chez de la Magike!" As we stepped out of the floo, a flash went and then it seemed like a thousand more went off, and questions were being yelled at me "Minister who is your new boy toy?"

"Justin how does it feel to be dating the Minister?"

"Minister, did you know that your relations aren't socially acceptable?"

"Minister is it true that you have a harem of young men in your mansion?"

"Minister is it true that you adopted this young man?"

"Are you to sleeping together?"

"Justin! I thought Parvati was lying, but it's a good thing I called the press!" The last thing caught my attention.

"What?" I yelled! I turned and it was Lavender. She was now a paparazzo of course, but I didn't understand, what was she playing at? So I asked her "What are you playing at?"

"Well, Susan owled Hannah, who told Neville, who owled Dean, who told Ron, who told Hermione, who told Harry, who told Ginny, who told Luna, who told Dean again, who told Parvati, who told me that you were the Minister's new adopted boy toy and he was going to teach you how to date by taking you out?" Lavender said in one breathe.

I was stunned. "What?" I managed to choke out as the Minister guided me to the restaurant.

"Sorry about that." Kingsley muttered under his breath. "I wanted to keep the paparazzi off our trail, but…."

"It's my fault; Susan has a big mouth…" I explained.

The restaurant was nice, but there was something off about it. The people seemed a bit weird…. and it made me feel kind of funny. We were seated immediately of course. I officially decided I loved dating the Minister. Instant access to everything! I bet I would be able to skip the coffee line in the morning on the way to the Ministry of Magic because I was dating the Minister! He ordered our beverages, mines had some alcohol in it, but after I drank it I felt more intoxicated than I ever had in my life. And Kingsley's head look like a shiny crystal ball; I bet Trelawney would be proud. In fact I mention it to my Kingsley-bear. I new I sounded drunk, but he was telling me something "….bear. my Justy-bear….you look like a bees backside…" it was mumbled and I could hardly understand him, but I think I may just have been insulted. I was starting to pout.

Then, a straggly man that could in no way be a bear was coming up to our table. "Kingsley!" he said in a surprised voice.

"Harry! Harry bear! No no, not bear!" the minister answered.

"Kingsley!? Whatever! What are you doing here, you didn't take the anti physco magic position." The straggly man named Hairy said.

"You're a psyco potion Potts!" Kingsley responded.

Hairy rolled his eyes, "Kingsley you're in the eye of our mission, and you're under the influence of the spell, you and Justin need to get out of here now! And those people outside may be effected if we can't bust this case soon!" he whispered urgently.

"What! Don't talk about my Justy-bear like that! I love him!" Kingsley yelled. I never heard my Kingsley-bear yell! He was so heroic, defending my honor from this Hairy character.

I jumped across the table and sat on my Kingsley-bear's lap. "I love you too! We should get married and have kids!" I said as I kissed his Crystal ball head.

"Oh…my…god…" Hairy said. Then our server came and asked Hairy if there was a problem. "Yes! There is! And I'm going to get you! EXPELLIARMUS!" Hairy yelled. The man went flying and his wand landed in Hairy's hand. People started jumping off tables and fighting the restaurant staff "DMLE! You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say and do can be used against you in Magical Court!" I giggled; it was like watching Law and Order: DMLE Division. My Kingsley-bear was watching the scene in interest as well. I wonder if we were on the show. I was going to ask Hairy, but then Hairy turned into Harry Potter! I was shocked. What was he playing at!? He was always playing at something!

"Harry! What are you playing at?" I yelled. Then I wondered why I was yelling. Harry was looking at me. I was starting to feel weird. Like I was on a high and then I came back down to earth. I was looking around. Then I remembered where I was and felt instantly embarrassed.

"Uh…" Harry started. I got up and went back to my own seat. Everything was in order, and paparazzi were snapping as the DMLE was taking away people. Kingsley was looking everywhere but at me. I felt like I was going to die as I remember the marriage line. Harry took Kingsley away and was giving him a rundown of what was happening. I felt stupid. I wanted to go home, listen to sad songs and take a bubble bath. Worse date ever….As I was looking down I saw shoes stop close by me, and I looked up and it a familiar gleam off a very bald head was there.

"I am-" I started, but Kingsley-bear, I mean Minister dammit, interrupted.

"I'm so sorry! I had no idea what was going on, and I really hope that we could forget the events that happened tonight and start all over." He stated. I looked at him. He looked bashful and as embarrassed as I felt. I started to speak, but we were pulled into a ministry car.

"We're taking you home Minister. Tonight was hectic but the DMLE handled it." The driver then went on to tell Kingsley about upcoming events as we were dropped off at The Minister's Mansion.

"You could use my floo if you want." Kingsley started.

"Uh…actually you owe me food, I missed lunch, and now I missed dinner, and I think I should stick around so you can actually get me breakfast….in bed." I said, I felt more confident now since he was probably regretting what he said under the influence of phyco magic or whatever the hell it was called. He smiled and picked me up and walked into his house and shut the door. The rest was censored!