"Feliks, I think someone's been in my house." Toris rubs his forehead with a cute frown. "I don't know... It's just a feeling... Look, I don't know! It just... I don't think anything's been moved, but I'm not quite sure... It's screwing with my head, Feliks." My lover is so adorable when he's worried, with that tiny crease that forms between his brows. But it seems I need to be more careful when I go through his things; it's not quite time for him to meet me yet.
.
That annoying friend of his came over uninvited today and sprawled out on the couch as if he owned the place. The nerve! I would never abuse my Toryushka's hospitality in such a way! But then, Toris has always been such a forgiving person, even to those who don't deserve his kindness. Toris came home and laughed when he saw Feliks waiting for him.
"What are you doing here?" He smiled his lovely, sunny smile. Feliks jumped up and threw his arms around my lover with that stupid simper. Then he kissed him.
My vision went red. Toris stiffened and seemed about to push him away, but Feliks pulled back first, looking vaguely ashamed and chewing on his lip.
"Sorry, Liet," he murmured - quietly for once. "I just..."
Toris pulled him back into his arms. "It's okay," he whispered. "Feliks, it's okay. I love you, Feliks-" And when the blond kissed him again he kissed back.
That little- ! How dare he try to steal my Toryushka away from me? Toris is blinded by his kindness; he is so easy to take advantage of. But he'll come back to me soon. I will forgive him his mistake, because I love him so much, and then he will never leave me again.
.
Feliks' screams are too loud and as obnoxious as his voice. I am almost glad when they stop, even though I want him to suffer more for trying to steal my Toryushka. Toris would probably have a beautiful scream, I think as I straighten up, although of course I would never hurt him. It would be high and breathless and cracking with fear and pain...yes. I feel a sudden surge of jealousy. I want to be the only person to hear him scream. If anyone ever tries to hurt him I will protect him, the way I protected him from Feliks.
The door opens. Right on time.
Toris is humming softly as he hangs up his coat and steps into the living room. I watch him stop, his brow crinkling in confusion when he sees me. Then his beautiful green eyes widen and I know he has noticed the blood that coats the carpet and when he catches sight of what is left of Feliks his mouth opens, but I have already lept forward to cover his mouth. I feel him shaking in terror under my hand.
"Hush now, moy Toryushka," I whisper in his ear. "If you shout it will attract attention, and we don't want that, da?"
I catch him when he faints.
.
As soon as he wakes up I am there, stroking his soft brown hair and murmuring soothing words. He shrinks back in terror, hands twisting at the bonds.
"Why are you afraid of me, moy Toryushka?" I let the hurt show in my voice.
"You killed him." It is not a question. "Why? Why did you-" His voice breaks.
"Because I love you! That selfish boy would have only hurt you. Eventually he would have broken your heart."
"He was my friend," he whispers, and I frown.
"Why would you need other friends when you have me?"
He turns his head on the pillow, a crystal tear leaking from his soft emerald eye.
.
He seems rather ungrateful for the room I provided for him at my house. Perhaps it is not good enough yet? I did my best, but if my Toryushka wants me to change it I will gladly do so. I want only the best for my lover. He asks for a window one day, but I have to tell him no. I cannot have him figuring out where our house is. He grows very sad and silent then. I kiss him, but it does not help.
Oh, but his kisses! I have dreamed about this for so long! To kiss my love while he is awake and looking at me and knowing my name! I want him to call me Vanya, but he refuses. Nothing I do can convince him to use anything but 'Ivan' when he speaks to me. Ah well. That will come in time, I suppose. For now I must make him comfortable and stop him from being afraid. Poor child, he trembles every time he sees me; I never get to see him smile anymore. I don't understand it. Why does he shrink back when I try to show him my affection? Why does he cry when we make love? Perhaps the boy is homesick. But this is his home now, and I cannot risk him trying to leave. He might get lost, or hurt, or someone might try to take him away! That's why I cut the phone lines. He didn't know that, of course, and I caught him one day trying to call someone. Naturally I had to punish him. His screams are just as beautiful as I imagined.
