"Do you want this magnum dong ?" Grendel whispered, a seductive smirk plastered on his beastly face.

"Yes," Beowulf moaned throwing his bare body against Grendel's arm, not caring if his men woke up to witness him not wrestling the beast to death but making sweet passionate love to it. Grendel may not have received any of God's love, but he certainly received plenty of it from Edgethow's great son.

"Where do you want it?" the monster continued.

"Inside of me." Beowulf cried, feeling his face contort into a yaranaika expression.

Grendel chuckled lowly under his breath. "Address me properly, and I might consider giving you what you want."

The great Geat warrior quickly complied, continuing to wrap himself around the beast's arm. "Please put it in me... Daddy King ."

"Good, human." the beast said with a low, pleasured moan. "Let us take care of this business back at my swamp."

An abrupt roar takes the two by surprise, their ears filling with only the sound of, " THIS IS MY SWAMP "

Suddenly, a monster greener than Grendel burst through the castle doors and grabbed Higlac's loyal follower, stomping out of the castle just as quickly as he had came.

"Kyaaaaaa, d-don't touch me ahh!" Beowulf moaned, his skin feeling hyper-sensitive to the cool touch of the green monster and the night-time air.

Unfortunately for him, the ogre heeded no attention to the squirming human in his arms, instead he continued his march to the swamp and had a passionately, audible night of love with Edgethow's uke son. And then pteradactyl came in.