A Mile in His Shoes: Dib is dead… at least that's what it seems like, yet Zim isn't cackling and taking over the world. He's silence, sad, and … like a boy trapped in another's shoes. Red can't help but wonder what's come over their once insane soldier.

Disclaimer: if only, if only, the plot bunny sings.

Image: Towering Malignance by enigmatia.

Rating: Teen.

I walk in your shoes,

Enemy from the sky.

Yet in all of its sullenness,

I can never fly.

The labs were dark, shivering… haunting, like someone had died and all the occupants were keeping silent to see if the spirit of the departed was still wandering around. Zim stalled in his work, his clawed fingers delaying on the keyboard. His antennae perked up at the sound… if he didn't know any better he'd say it sounded like ringing, but Zim only had one phone which was upstairs and it didn't sound like that.

Turning his head, he noticed something out of the corner of his eye, a pair of blue optics. He stared for a moment and then softly asked, "Yes, Gir? What is it? Do you need some money for a Durpy Doom Drink or nachos?"

The small robot shook his head, asking as he asked so many times in the past few weeks, perhaps months, time was slipping away for the Irken even as Gir whispered, "Where is Master? You look like Master… but… but…"

Sad and strangely calm orbs for Zim turned to the small mech and in a warm voice he stated, "You know where he is… He couldn't take the shock. All we have is each other Gir. Now, is there something else you wanted?"

Gir pressed himself against the doorway, hiding his form slightly before he added almost shyly, tears in his optics, "No, I's came to visit Master and… the Tallest are trying to hail you."

Zim, though the mind inside that body was anything but, turned towards the small being completely, Gir now sitting in front of a specimen tank. The taller Irken walked slowly over to the small robot, looking up for a moment. He stared at the body of Dib, whose joints were pulled close and awkward like he had had arthritis throughout his whole body and died in agony.

The mind inside Zim wished he could make the body look more peaceful, it had been his body after all, but at least it wasn't decaying… forever stalled in time a few hours after death. Zim's mind couldn't take the stress of the human body, and he had suffered for nearly two days before he died and Dib had been in too much pain to help him, withering from electric shock after electric shock from his pak as it struggled to keep him alive.

The pak's systems were probably the only reason he was alive.

Not that it made this body any easier to use. He was still having trouble with the pak legs. Plus, the pak was still weak from the struggle, though he had been having success crawling on walls.

Pressing off the thought of his new, grotesque body, Dib patted the little robot on the head and asked, "You never have to ask me to visit Zim, you know, but tell me… what is a hail? Is it important?"

The little robot nodded, "More important that tacos… the Tallest wants to talk, wants to know if doomed the planet?"

Dib went stiff, his antennae going straight into the air, his voice shivered as he asked, "What? B-but what am I supposed to say? I'm not going to destroy my own planet and there's no way I'm…"

"Automated pickup program initiated," suddenly stated Computer and Dib only had enough time to duck into the shadows behind one of the dissection tables as the screen flashed on, light bathing the dully lit room.

Holding his breath, not that his pak didn't breath for him, Dib's eyes became slits as he stared up at two slouching figures, one red and the other purple. Both seemed to be snacking, eye lids rising in confusion. The purple one was the first to lean forward as if trying to see around corners, turning to the other as he laughed, "Ha, I won! He's totally dead because there is no way Zim would miss a call from us. Now let's have a parade!"

Dib raised an antenna, biting his lip. He recalled seeing these guys once when gallivanting through the base as a child, but he had never interacted with them seriously. He didn't know if there were cultural rules to interacting with these rulers. Swallowing nervously, he decided maybe it was best for them to think that he was dead. If they sent another Invader, well, he'd just trick them. He'd just say communication went down or something.

The red one leaned back in his chair and tapped a claw on the arm rest before he barked out, "Zim's computer. Where is Zim's corpse? We wish to see it."

The screen was still, thought more than capable of sliding forward like a floating head and scoping out the room from its placement on the ceiling.

The red Tallest waited a moment and then barked, "Did you not hear my command you dysfunctional piece of goop? I gave you a command and though the SIR unit might be damaged, I know that you are not."

The computer sighed and then replied, "I'm unable to follow that command unless you want me to make the corpse."

Purple groaned and threw his popcorn in the air, wailing, "I knew a few months was not long enough for him to be dead! I knew it was too good to be true!"

Red's antennae twitched and then he stole his co-Tallest's snack so it wouldn't be thrown all over him, adding, "Then where is he? Say stuck in an alternate dimension."

Computer's electric voice was silent for a moment before it complied, "Uh… stuck in an alternate dimension."

"Is he really stuck in an alternate dimension?" asked Purple hopefully.

"Um… no," said Computer.

"Then why did you…"

"You told me to tell you that," added the AI bluntly.

Red groaned, feeling a migraine coming on. He was the only intelligent being in this conversation. "Fine. Tell me where he is right now or even better yet, show me."

The screen turned in Zim's, or more accurately the body switched Dib's, direction and the Irken body ducked down further knowing it was a useless endeavor because quite frankly the Tallest could override any system and there was no way to completely escape the AI's gaze when the house was its body.

There was a moment of silence and Dib closed his eyes tight, praying that the two would bare their short attention spans and be bored with him, but instead a bored voice added, "I can see your antennae, Zim."

Bustling Ghouls! Ugh. He hated those things! They had a mind of their own and the monster hunter had yet to master them in any way. Well, there was no point in hiding, but he had … changed a lot from the last time Zim had probably been seen. Unsure of what to eat in this form had an adverse effect on the Irken body and it was probably best for the other Invaders to see as little of him as possible so it wouldn't rise suspicion.

Peaking his head just high enough above the table for the viewers to only his eyes, Dib stumblingly replied, "Hello my … leaders… lordships? I hope you have been well."

Tallest Red actually dropped the cup that he was about to take a sip from while Purple choked on what might have been a small invertebrate that had been made snack size.

"Uhhh," damn, I said something wrong; what would Zim say. "I meant Tallers… Tallums."

"It's Tallest," grumbled Red as he settled back into his seat, eyeing the set of the eyes behind the table. There was something wrong here. True, Zim had just used 'well' correctly but the most frightening thing was that he wasn't screaming or yelling or being … Zim. Something was very wrong here. Surviving his years as an Invader himself, Red knew when to note something was strange.

"But you know that, don't you?" said Red, eyeing the other lazily. "You screamed it for three hours once at us."

Red orbs going wide for a moment, Zim squeaked, "Yep… just … a slur."

Stealing one of the invertebrates and popping it in his mouth, Red asked suspiciously, "So Zim, why didn't you answer? For the last few months?"

"Uhhh," dragged out Dib for a few moments before he blurted out the first lie he had, one of Gir's abandoned bowls a few feet away, "I was… um... working on a gravy experiment."

Finally coughing up the small creature he was choking on, said thing flinging across the room and making some poor bastard scream, "My eye!", Purple proclaimed, "Gravy huh? Sounds dangerous."

His nails coming to rest on the top of the metal table as they clicked nervously, the Zim impersonator added, "Yep… sure is."

There was a moment of silence, Dib looking around as the two Tallest stared at him, a few of the slightly taller robed aliens stalling in their work behind the Tallest to stare as well. It became an awkward staring contest and finally Dib could take no more of the gooey orbs staring and so he blundered, "So… will that be all? Got gravy experiments and stuff to do. Very busy."

Purple suddenly snorted and then whispered something to Red though Dib caught every word.

"Bet he covered himself in gravy like he did with the meat."

The two snorted at that and laughed almost hysterically in their seats until the red one managed to choke out, "S-stand before us, Zim."

Dib's eyes went wide. Oh, no, no. He hadn't realized how much Zim's acting at the cafeteria wasn't a show until he started getting hungry. It was his pak; it was exhausted from what he could tell and demanded to either be plugged in or to eat. He had no idea how to plug in and Gir wasn't any help plus Computer was still under repair from the energy spike that had made him … Zim. Therefore, Dib was forced to eat and he had little access to all the levels in Zim's lab. He ate human food. It had been painful and horrible because he had no idea what was going to burn or sting or fulfill his pak's demand for calories.

All the hormones and chemicals … had had an interesting effect on Zim's body. Even now, now that Computer told him where the kitchen was, he still had … growing pains and still found himself puking up chemicals his body hadn't been able to digest.

Swallowing, he stated, "Eh, can't. Leg cramps. Ooooh, the pain."

Purple stuck out his tongue, looking sick before Red leaned forward and growled, "Now or I'll make your computer do it for you."

Dib swallowed and then slowly started to get up, his antennae down. If he thought saying 'well' properly had gotten a reaction, Purple and Red both dropping there drinks, one of the long robed Irkens passing out in the background and few Irkens even running around screaming, "it's the end" … well, being tall was a bad sign.

After a few minutes, Dib finally whispered, unable to look directly at the screen, "So, can I go now?"

Red, who still had a hand over his chest and was seemingly hyperventilating, couldn't reply yet so Purple stuttered, "H-have you gotten taller Zim?"

"Uh, yes… lot and lots of growth spurts," murmured the once-human nervously. "Hurt like hell. Can I go now?"

Red, who couldn't stop choking, finally did, barking, "No. Why haven't you reported in?"

"Re-reported? I-I thought you thought I was a joke? Why would I report anything to you? You basically exiled me here," said Dib harshly, having figured out what the Tallest had done to Zim after speaking with Computer just a few times about Zim's assignment.

A stony silence set over the other side of the line before Red slowly growled, "Well, you've done more than just grow taller. It seems you are a little smarter as well."

Dib swallowed, he had a feeling he didn't like where this was going, though sarcasm still bubbled forth.

"Yes, Hooked on Phonics. I know my ABC's. Now, I really must be going," stated Dib, his antennae shivering as Gir acted strangely quiet in the background.

There was something wrong here. Something was very, very, wrong and he had to ask Computer a few more questions about Irken culture before he talked to those two again. If ever again. Either way, he was doing something wrong and he had no idea what it was.

Red stood up this time, almost angry, "Answer my question!"

Dib, who had been walking towards the control panel, stalled his claw from clicking the end transmission button, "What! What could you possible want from me?"

Purple chuckled, murmuring, "Still dumb Zim."

Red ignored the other, placing his hands behind his back as he recite one of the Control Brains laws, "Any Irken citizen or soldier, upon the moment they reach a height over five-foot, is to report his claim to be evaluated for Advisor or Commanders duty depending on his or her skills and transcriptions."

Dib swallowed.

"You look like a healthy five-six or five-seven to me, Zim. You should have reported centimeters ago," growled the leader.

Dib swallowed again. He had a feeling he had just stepped on a major taboo in the Irken culture and choked as he struggled for the right words that sounds Zim not Dib, "Oh-yes. That law. I-I forgot. Yes, forgot. So busy with world conquering and the-the Dib worm. Yes, so much to do."

"I thought you knew that was a meaningless assignment?" added Red, his eyes become slits as his far more professional and conquering mentality rose to the surface.

Dib opened his mouth and almost bit his tongue, again, but found a bumbling collections of words regardless, "W-what else was I to do? Lie down and die?"

Red glared for a moment more before stating, "Fair enough. A ship will be sent to collect you for Advisor and …"

"What!" squeaked Dib as he nearly threw himself on the keyboard.

No, no, no! He had had his family, his body, his life ripped away. He couldn't make a device crafty enough to fit into his life perfectly without one of his dad's security systems picking up on it. Zim's simplistic disguises were probably the only things that had kept him safe whenever he enter the Membrane residence. At least he could watch them in this state! He would not be taken from his home world as well!

"I-I can't. I-I don't have the experience to be an Advisor," stated the once-human as he blurted the first thing he could, his mind depending on his father's passed down intellect. "In fact, i-it would be inadvisable for the successful and profitable industry of forceful universal globalization for me to be one! I'd just screw it up!"

He was almost screaming at the end, panic rising in his chest as his pak beeped irritably, trying to keep homeostasis.

One of the taller Advisors, if height was so important, suddenly peeked into the screen and stated, "You've learned a lot of big words, Zim, and proper pronouns it seems as well. You seem smarter than when you were at the training academy. Where did you learn these new skills?"

The green-eyed advisor was making him nervous as the Tallest both raised their antennae as they waited for an answer. A breathes moment away from full out panicking, Dib choked, "Yeah, yeah, ugh, smarter. Umm… the internet? Yes, the internet has a wide collection of knowledge. And I might add considerably useless knowledge at that! My head is full of worthless knowledge. You should leave me here! Leave me to rot for … uh, whatever reason it was that you banished me."

They all stared at him since they didn't get the reference, which he didn't expect them to, before the tall advisor stated, not even noting Dib's objection, "Well, an IQ test will certainly have to be done to have you re-evaluated. Who knew a few years of exile where all you needed to get rid of some of your crazy, Zim. A ship will be by for you in a few weeks. Have your base ready to be put into stasis though I doubt anyone will be going back to that horrible planet. Your report on Halloween-ees still gives new recruits nightmares."

And with that, the screen went dead; the last image being what was probably the Senior Advisor turning to talk to the Tallest.

Swallowing, the once-human at least had one good thing going for him. Apparently, Earth wasn't worth sending another Invader, as long as he was the sacrificial lamb, sentenced to be surrounded by the very thing that detested him for so long.

All to save a planet that had never given a fuck about him.

Beside himself, Dib collapsed on the floor and tried once again to do the one thing he knew was impossible for an Irken… and that was the ability to cry.

XXX

Paw07: This has been sitting in my 'Others' folder of fics for a while, waiting to be finished. This one was meant to be a multi-chapter. I, unfortunately, still have other IZ fics to finish so this one stays as complete my pretties but just imagine the possibilities.

Grammar Edits September 2014.