It's so contagious I cannot get it off of my mind it's, so outragous You make me feel so high, all the time~

I've been experimenting with drugs ever since I was a kid. At first I tried different ways of getting high,

solvents, plans, even cat piss. Then I got into the hard stuff. When your as fucked up as I was, getting high was

the only way to escape. I'm not into drugs anymore, I may do the occasional spliff at a party of something.

Because back then I had found my own drug

Kyle Broflovski

I've always been a popular guy, I'm charming, I'm funny, I'm Kenny McCormick. When your as poor as I am, you have to look at the priceless things in life. I know everyone, everyone knows me. Well, in the small town of South Park, it's not hard to know everyone but you get me. I get along which pretty much everyone. Despite that fact, I have always had my three best friends, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman, and I love them all unconditionally. Yes, ever Cartman, in a messed up sort of way. As much as I love all of them, Kyle was something different, he really cared, he saw things that other people couldn't. I'm dirt poor, I ve /always/ been dirt poor, everyone knows that. but I put on my happy-go-lucky face and carry on. Kyle knew if something was bothering me. After the whole Mysterion thins back when we were kids, Kyle started believing me, he understood me, and the pain I go through. The thing about Kyle is, he never pitied me, he understood me, and that's all I could have asked for. Kyle and I became closer as we grew up, he and Stan were still best friends, but Stan was mostly busy with football and Cartman was busy with the debate team and had started dating Wendy Testaburger, I know, crazy right? They kind of compliment each other in a weird sort of way.

Kyle always looked out for me, he didn't say so, I just knew it. He started to steer me in the right direction, he got me off drugs, he helped me study, we were together most of the time. I used to stay at his house alot, I remember laying under a blanket with him and talking all night long, laughing with him, skating with him. We were always together like this. I adored Kyle, and in more then a friendly way. I've dated and slept with more people than I can count, sure they were nice, they d be fine for , we'd flirt, and kiss, they d put out for me, and the next morning they would wake up alone. I never believed in love, I couldn't feel it, I was completely immune. I flirted and had sex with people because it was fun, it felt good, but I never loved the person.

With Kyle it was different. It was the small things about him that made my heart flutter, his beautiful skin, his soft red hair, his pouty lips, the way his sparking green eyes looked into mine in an understanding way. I loved his sense of humour, his spit-fire temper, even simple things like his gentle smile or his hand patting me comfortingly on the back made me go weak at the knees. This was how I knew I was inlove with Kyle. I didn t have to say it, I could tell he knew, and I knew he loved me just as much. We never confessed our love to each other, we never officially dated each other, but we loved each other and that's all that mattered. Things were always like this. We' go skating at Stark's pond in the middle of the night, laughing, holding hands, pushing each other over, then we'd creep back to his house and we'd fall asleep on his sofa, his arm around me and my head against his chest. Every second we spent together was perect, even when I'd crack a joke about sex or drugs and Kyle would say "god Damnit Kenny!" And glare at me, then we'd both just burst out laughing. Hell, I didn't need drugs, being with Kyle was my high.

Everything changed when Kyle turned eighteen.
Kyle got accepted into Harvard. With The grades Kyle got, I wasn t surprised. I never bothered applying for college or Uni, I'm not academically smart, I didn t have any valuable qualities, so I always just planned to get a job in South Park, I really didn't want Kyle to leave. Kyle told me he didn t want to leave. but I'm not selfish, going to Harvard was a massive deal, Kyle was so smart, he had a bright future ahead of him, as much as it hurt, I wasn t about to let Kyle throw that away because of me. So I told him to go. It was only a week later that I walked to his house and saw his dad piling boxes into their car. Kyle and his Mother were standing on the doorstep, his Mother hugging him tightly. I knew Kyle was about to leave for Harvard. Kyle noticed me standing in his driveway, he pulled his Mother off him, she saw me too and nodded at Kyle, she called her husband and went inside. Kyle walked down the steps and approached me with his hand in his pockets. "Hey" He smiled sheepishly. I smiled back weakly. "Hey...so, Harvard?"
Kyle Shrugged. "Yeah, I start there tomorrow, I'm moving into my dorm and settling in today." He bit his lip. "it's so sudden."
"Hey Ky, You know your ready, your like, the smartest kid ever."
We both laughed half heartedly. Then we stood looking at each other in silence. Kyle had a sad smile on his face, his eyes glistened with sadness, his right hand stroked my blonde hair.
"I love you Kenny." He whispered.
I could feel hot tears beginning to prick behind my eyes "I love you too Kyle, I always have."
"I know." He said.
Then his Mum and Dad appeared outside,
"Kyle Bubbi, we have to leave now! She called, and they got into their car and started the engine.
"I'll write to you." Said Kyle. "And call you, Stay out of trouble ken."
"I'll try." I laughed. Then Kyle lent forwards and pressed his lips to mine. It was so gentle and full of sadness. It only lasted a second before he pulled away and smiled sadly at me again., I watched him get into their car, I watched it as it pulled out of their driveway and down the road. I stood there until the car disappeared into the distance, then slowly and silently I dragged myself home.

I zoned out for the rest of the day, it all felt so surreal. After that I just carried on, I felt alone without Kyle, but he texted me alot, well, he did for the first two weeks then it became alot less frequent, After that I didn't hear from him at all. I couldn't kid myself any longer, when people are so far away from you, things change, people change, they make new friends and they move on. It was five months after Kyle had been at Harvard that Stan broke it to me that Kyle had started dating Christophe DeLorne, that french kid that was in La resistance. When Stan told me that, I just nodded and said nothing. I couldn't imagine Christophe laughing, or skating, or cuddling with Kyle, he was such a serious person. I didn t want to imagine it, it hurt too much. I just had to accept it, me and Kyle were never together, he had moved on, he was there in Harvard with Christophe and I was here. Kyle probably didn t ever remember me, remember our into the night conversations, or remember us holding hands and skating in the pitch black, with no one around us but us and our laughter, the cold night's breeze and the wide grins plastered across our faces. And that's what hurt the most.

I'm twenty years old now.
I haven't seen Kyle in three years.
Stan got a sports scholarship at Denver, I see him at least once a month which is nice, and Cartman's the head of the board of punishment which is good for him, I know he's good at asserting his authoritah. I still hook up with friends from school, Wendy, Jimmy, Butters, Clyde, Token. I m never really alone, I just feel alone on the inside. I've been on a few dates, had sex, I've got with Bebe, Red, Gary, Thomas, quite a few people, but their only good for one night, I don't feel anything for them, I've had this dull aching pain in my heart. In a way I'm glad I didn't fall inlove with anyone, Kyle was the only person I ever wanted to love, no one could measure up to him. I would just coast through life on memories and one-night stands. I got a job at a garage fixing up cars. I'm still working there now, and with the money I've made I've got myself a one bedroom apartment. Hey, it's not perfect, but I needed to get away from my Mum and dad fighting, and do my own thing. Incidentally, Craig and Tweek live next door to me. Craig can be an asshole, but he's an alright guy, he invites me over some nights for a drink, and Tweek? Tweek's adorable despite the constant paranoia. I admit I envy then, they adore each other, Craig protects Tweek, I wish I had something like that. I wish I still had something like both work at the Tweek Bro's coffee shop. Tweek s parents handed it down to them when they moved to New York, apparently coffee is a huge deal there.

Anyway, so here I am, in my apartment. it's one o clock and I've only just gotten up. I was up late at Craig's last night, we were watching old re-runs of Terrence and Phillip and red racer for old time sake. I just had a shower and pulled on my skinny jeans and my orange hoody. I looked at myself in the mirror. I'm pretty attractive. I've grown alot, I'm pretty lean, I don't have alot of muscle, but hey, I've spent my life being poor, what do you expect? My skins clear, my eye are blue, my scruffy blonde hair frames my face in an attractive way. I smiled sheepishly at myself. Then there was a knock at my door, I knew it was Tweek before I opened it, just from the frantic knocking and the flustered little noises. I swung my door open and put my arm around the little Blonde s shoulder. "What's up buddy?"
Tweek twitched. "GAH!...I need to get to the coffee shop...but...ngh..I think there s something following me!" He exclaimed. I was used to Tweek's paranoid outbursts. "Where's Craig?" I asked.
"Ngh..Craig had an early shift." I smiled gently at Tweek.
"I'll take you." Tweek's eyes grew happily. I didn t mind taking him, maybe I'd go see Cartman after or something.

The walk to Tweek Bro's coffee shop isn't that far, I'd drive if I had a car, But I can t afford it. I'm happy with walking anyway, I've walked all my life. Tweek's quite shy and I didn t want there to be an awkward silence so the whole way there we spoke about old cartoon s, coffee and underpants gnomes, Tweek was happy to chat away. It's the summer now, so I didn't really feel cold, even though there s still snow everywhere and we all have to dress relatively warm, well, it is South park. We approach the coffee shop and I open the door and let us both inside, the tink of the bell alerts Craig that we're here and he comes out from the storage room. Tweek's face light's up when he see's Craig, and he runs over to him and wraps his arms around Craig's waist.
"hey babe" Says Craig. Tweek looks up at him and Craig kisses him sweetly on the lips. I stand there and smile, they're so cute together. Craig pulls away and looks at me.
"Thanks for getting him here McCormick, come here, I'll make you a coffee." Craig and Tweek disappeared behind the counter, and I sat on one of the stalls on the other side. They both re-appeared, Tweek with a few coffee s on his tray. He went to give them to the customers at their tables and Craig handed me a mug and sat down opposite me. I held the steaming mug and took a long sip, the sweet taste of caramel running down my throat.
"Mhmm." I smiled in satisfaction.
The Tall Noriette smirked. "Damn McCormick, you moan like that in bed?"
"Fuck you." I laughed. "Maybe later." He winked, smirking.
I couldn't help but grin, me and Craig shared the same perverted sense of humour.
I drank the rest of my coffee and rummaged around in my jeans pocket and pulled out a crumpled five Dollar Bill. Craig grinned.
"It's on the house McCormick, you got Tweeker's here."
I smiled. "Thanks Craig, y'know, your not such a bad guy."
"We'll see." he smirked.
I rolled my eyes and Craig rested a hand on his palm and fiddled with some money on the counter.
"Where are you going now?" he asked.
"I'm gonna go see how fatass is doing."
Craig looked up but it looked like he was looking past me rather than at me.
"You should get going then, thanks for getting Tweek here, I'll see you later or something." He said as he stood up and walked round to the back room. I pushed my mug aside and stood up, stuffing the fiver back into my jeans. I turned around and my heart stopped. My whole body froze on the spot. there standing right infront of me was Kyle Broflovski.

His Perfect lips slightly apart, and his emerald green eyes staring at me. My breath hitched in my throat.
"Ky..Kyle..." Was all I managed to get out.
"Kenny." He breathed.
I couldn't do anything but stand and stare at him, taking in his attractive features. I didn't think it was possible for him to get anymore attractive than he used to but I guess I was wrong. He had gotten taller, his wavy red hair was a little longer, still soft and red and framed his heart shaped face perfectly. He was wearing blue skinny jeans and a long sleeved grey T-shirt. he wore braclets threaded with string and beads.
"Kyle..What are you doing here?" I asked. Kyle scratched the back of his head.
"I came down to visit my parents." I nodded slowly. "Hey, Kenny, why don't you grab a table in the corner and I'll get us both a coffee?" He asked. I nodded silently again and went to sit at the booth in the far corner near the door. I watched Kyle order the coffee, my eyes burned the back of his head. I couldn't believe this was happening. I couldn't believe that Kyle was right there, the boy I loved so much, /missed/ so much. I didn t know weather to feel happy that I could see him again or sad about the fact that soon Kyle would be gone and none of this would matter. kyle came over to the table and sat down, passing me my coffee. I took a sip.
"caramel coffee, this is my favourite." I said.
"I know." Kyle smiled. "I haven't forgotten."
I looked down at the table and swallowed thickly.
"So I heard your dating Christophe." I looked down at the my coffee, trying to hide my disappointment.
"yeah." His sad smile was full of sympathy and I hated it, he knew I was disappointed. I felt so pathetic. "I'm sorry Ken, it's just, I get lonely and I feel safe with Christophe, you know...he s there."
"And I'm here." I said Bluntly. Kyle reached over and clasped his hand over mine. I looked down at his dainty fingers, perfect nails and porcelain skin. I just wanted to grab him and hold him in my arms.
"I never wanted to hurt you Kenny...I love you so much."
Loved.

I could feel hot tears behind my eyes again, I swallowed, I never let people see me cry, I haven't cried since I was a little kid, I was supposed to be strong.
"But Kyle, we're supposed to be together." I gritted my teeth.
Kyle's forhead creased and he stared at our hands in concentration.
"Our lives just...changed." He stated.
"Did any of it mean anything to you?" I asked, a tinge of despitation in my voice.
Kyle's eyes widened.
"Kenny, you know they did, those were the best times of my life."
"But there over." I stated sadly.
"Hey now." Said Kyle, "I'll never forget those times, theres no one I would have rather spent them with, things like that can happen again."
His thumb idoly stroked my hand.

I swallowed, I never let people see me cry, I haven't cried since I was a little kid, I was supposed to be strong.
"But Kyle, we're supposed to be together." I gritted my teeth.
Kyle's forehead creased and he stared at our hands in concentration.
"Our lives just...changed." He stated.
"Did any of it mean anything to you?" I asked, a tinge of desperation in my voice.
Kyle's eyes widened.
"Kenny, you know they did, those were the best times of my life."
"But there over." I stated sadly.
"Hey now." Said Kyle, "I'll never forget those times, there s no one I would have rather spent them with, things like that can happen again."
His thumb idly stroked my hand.
But they won t be with you will they? I said quietly. I looked at Kyle with a shimmer of hope in my eyes, hope that Kyle would tell me that of course they would be with him, hope that he would come back and everything would go back to how it used to be.
Kyle sighed. Kenny, I m moving to France in three days. It felt like a ton of bricks just hit me.
What? I stared at him in disbelief and pulled my hand away from his. Kyle suddenly looked guilty.
I m going to study law at this University in France, and Christophe can continue his Mercenary work. I didn t think it was possible for my heart to break anymore.
That s half way across the world. I whispered and looked down at my lap. Kyle stood up from his seat , walked around the table and crouched down beside me, he slid his hand back over mine and tried to look at my face but I continued to stare down at my lap, I felt numb, frozen, I gritted my teeth.
Kenny, you were the most important person in my life, I ll never forget growing up with you. Maybe I ll see you again one day and we can hang out like old times, all of us, even fatass. He lamely joked.
A tiny smile appeared on my face and I faced Kyle. He was looking at me intensely, desperate for me to be happy. We both knew this was time we would see each other, once he moved to France, his life would completely change. The sinking feeling wouldn t leave my chest, I wish this was just a sad dream and that I would wake up and everything would be how it used to be, but of course this wasn t, this was reality, Kyle was leaving forever. But I had to let him, I told him to go to France and now I had to let him go to France.
If you let someone, let them go.
I swallowed.
I understand Kyle. You should go, you d be wasted here. Kyle looked at me surprisingly for a second and then smiled sadly.
kenny..Thankyou. I have to go.. He lent forwards and pressed his lips to mine. It was soft and sweet, and sad.
I closed my eyes.
I knew it was his way of saying goodbye.

Kyle pulled away and stood up, I felt dizzy, in a daze. I looked up at Kyle, a look of both guilt and sadness crept along his face. He softly ruffled my hair.
Goodbye kenny he said, and walked over to the door and opened it. He looked back at me.
Stay out of trouble Ken. I wave of nostalgia washed over me as I remember him saying the exact line when he left for Harvard. I laughed weakly.
Don t worry about me, your good habits are contagious. Kyle just smiles one last time and walked out of the coffee shop. I stayed st in my seat and watched him walk away, his lean body, his slender shoulders, there goes the one boy I ever loved, my life, my everything. I watched him until I couldn t see him anymore, and then for the first time in years, I let myself go. I doubled over the table, I shook, tears uncontrollably streamed from my eyes, and I just let myself cry.

I walk out in silence That's when I start to realize What you bring to my life,
Damn this boy could make me cry~