DISCLAIMER. I do not own Rookie Blue.

"Sam!" Andy stepped backwards and out of the ambulance. She came right into his line of vision like something resplendent, pure and crystalline amid the calamity. She was an incredibly welcome sight for sore eyes. He couldn't deny it. Relief flooded over him like a soothing balm.

Her face bore grime and dust from earlier today. Her hair had become loose and a little disheveled. Yet, enhanced by the bright flashing lights of the emergency vehicles, she looked invigorated, elated and excited. Sam noticed the soft sparkle in her eyes as she approached him.

He wondered if her radiance and fresh energy had more to do with the urgency in his voice as he called for her moments earlier, than her obvious heroics from earlier today.

Was it possibly inspired by his face crinkling into a relieved smile at the sight of her? Was it there because they seemed to obliterate everything else, losing themselves in each other and their soft puddle of light?

The night's other lights were blazing and vivid, yet they didn't deter or distract them. Instead the brilliant and jagged flashes made stark statements about their actual circumstances and realities. Suddenly, under such bright scrutiny, impending events snapped sharply into focus.

He was on the verge of leaving her, who knew for how long. She had had another close brush with death tonight. Danger was hovering at every corner for them as usual.

Andy was almost six weeks out of her relationship with Luke. She had profound, deepening feelings and a new unfettered need for Sam. It was all so undeniable, palpable, transparent and real.

She continued to gaze into his eyes, oblivious to everything else. It was as though she was really seeing all of him for the first time ever.

He was so very flawed and had about a gazillion hang ups. It came naturally for Sam to try and conceal huge chunks of who he really was behind silly humour, subtle mystery and exaggerated toughness.

Yet throughout their frenzied day, including right here, right now, the dynamic between them was changing. He was done with those dratted long months of yearning and pining. She was actually accessible to him. He couldn't find the right kinds of words, but his searching eyes were heavily weighted with a bright burning desire she couldn't miss.

In this rare moment of depth, perception, and realization, their bodies drew magnetically to each other. It seemed like it had taken aeons to get right before each other like this, yet only a moment to shift closer.

A knowing smile lit up her face. She maintained eye contact, bringing her mouth just close enough for him to brush his lips against hers. He leaned in, struck at how stunning she looked with the brazen lights of the nearby police cruiser flashing across her face. He knew instinctively he would take this view of her with him everywhere.

His heart pumped harder as he recognized the eagerness flickering from her. He could even feel the soft flutters of her breath on his chin. Dammit he needed her. He needed her so much. If he could just touch her now, he knew there would be no stopping him from seizing her and running.

The moment escaped and evaporated. Fear, doubt and uncertainty came blindingly at her. She pulled back quite sharply. It felt so sudden that it physically hurt him. She took her warmth with her, and the cold chill of the winter evening hit him like an angry, cold slap.

As Andy moved, she tangled the fingers of her hands with his and that intriguing smile reclaimed her lips again. Her eyes once more taunted him with a quiet sparkle.

It was not unlike so many other painful moments he could recall. There had been other times when she was essentially just about within his grasp, only to slip away like elusive drops of slippery water

That familiar sense of bafflement, helplessness and inadequacy flooded his system hard and fervent again. Hell, this uncertainty, this waiting, this pining, this unfulfilled silent promise; it was all too long, too frustrating, too incomprehensible. It was as though she was concurrently drawing him to her, while at the same time tugging away.

Why was she holding back? Would she ever be able to give into this thing that was going on with them? They had been dancing around it practically since they met almost two years ago for Christ's sake!

He felt suddenly gutted and physically worn down. The dance was poorly choreographed, the steps too intricate, and now there was practically nothing left to shed any light on their next moves.

Perhaps after all he was just too awkward, too rough and too calloused to fit into her well-structured and carefully mapped out world!

He looked up and away, this time blinded by the brilliant flood lights spilling all about him. They were invading the previously wondrous place he and Andy shared together. She was walking away once more. He stood alone again.

He needed to clinch a way out and away from her. Quickly!

He turned away from the menacing beams and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. In his mind's eye the lights were soft and soothing.

The lights were soft and soothing in Lesley's apartment.

Everything there spoke to the way the woman had lived her life. Careful, structured, prepared, planned and organized.

It was pleasing and Andy could relate. It was obvious Lesley had been preparing herself for the ultimate bubble of accomplishment. It was going to propel her up to the bigger and brighter things she aspired to, of course.

Andy took it all in pensively. A concentrated sadness touched her face. If only Lesley had known her future, perhaps she would have done it all differently. Maybe then she would have lived for the moment and grabbed what was real and in front of her, instead of dreaming of the right moment and place in time.

Andy picked up the revered champagne. The fizzing bubbles shimmered and teased her as they glittered from inside the bottle.

It hit Andy then like a blinding lightning bolt. She was stalling in her life too. She was waiting until she was sure of what exactly? Herself, her goals, her career, her future… Sam? She was putting her life in complete order and holding off until she had banished the very last of her qualms and fears. As if that would ever happen!

As she looked around her again, everything seemed blatant and crystal clear as broad daylight. Sam was a wired up rule-breaker. Risk was his middle name. He was a risk dammit, but he had always been a sure thing in her life.

He had crept his way into her heart and she hadn't been able to extricate his hold there at all. She couldn't be surer than she was now that he was supposed to be in her future. Yet, as she held that expensive bottle she wondered if her fate was to replicate Lesley's.

Was she holding out on the reward for fear of ultimate failure? Would she deny herself something dazzling, remarkable and exciting, just because she wasn't completely ready or sure of it?

God, if Lesley had only drunk her champagne and pushed all her doors open yesterday!If only she had done this in spite of her fears that her life's work was rough and incomplete. Perhaps then today she would have taken her last breaths with an added sense of fulfillment, knowledge and understanding.

Now Andy realized the way forward was a not a path blazing with floodlights, but one that had been quietly glowering before her all along. The way forward led in one direction only. It led to Sam.

Perhaps it always had. Maybe there was no deep mystery to it after all. Maybe there was nothing more to accomplish. She simply had to reach out to him and let it happen.

He wanted her desperately. He couldn't disguise it anymore. She saw it in his wistful eyes tonight. They beckoned, implored and bewitched her. Yet, she had hesitated. She hadn't been able to respond to him again. She had scurried away to her secure blanket of distance and stability.

No more dammit. He had three weeks. That was 21 days and nights to throw themselves freely into the unknown together. That was incredibly miraculous actually.

She reached for her cell phone and punched the numbers furiously. She had to go to him. She had to go to him right now. She would be tense and nervous until she was with him again, freely exploring this sparkly thing between them at last.

She felt a tremor of excitement flutter through her body at the thought of just how incredibly good it was all going to be. She knew it would be nothing short of thrilling to give herself completely to the moment, the magic and Sam.

She smiled in anticipation as she waited for him to answer. She got his voice mail.

The lights in Lesley's apartments were dim and unobtrusive, but her mind was starting to blaze a trail of fire and bright bold lights.

Bright bold lights, brash signs, a noisy commotion and large television monitors channeling the hockey game in all corners. That was The Alpine at this hour of the night.

It was a scuzzy, bustling and unpredictable dive. Sam had not exaggerated on that one. This bode very well. There were more than a few shady characters lurking about. Any one of them could be their key to a stash of product to bring back to the Barn later.

She couldn't help smiling. It was Sam who brought her here really. Unbeknown to him, he was helping her again. He had that uncanny knack of being there for her almost every time she needed him most. It made her feel oddly connected to him again.

It still needled her that he wasn't there for her a month ago. That night had turned out so differently than she had hoped.

She had arrived on his doorstep, feeling light hearted, flirtatious and delirious almost.

He wasn't there. He didn't show up for the hour she waited. She called twice more and gave up. She left feeling frustrated, dumbfounded and flattened. She was finally ready and he was…. gone. Damn it, that was cruel and brutal.

But here tonight, things were going well. Traci's pool initiative was working out profitably. It was mainly all on her that they were making money of course. Andy knew she was a very weak link, but what the heck they were getting it done, chick kiss and all.

The men were practically lining up to take them on. Some actually seemed respectable and articulate. What the hell were they doing here? Many were looking to get lucky in more ways than at the pool table no doubt.

It made the girl in her uneasy, but it pumped up her strong, independent cop side dramatically.

The rugged looking blonde man asking for a game now looked intensely competitive. He was likely going to be a formidable challenge.

"That depends. Who's your partner?" Andy replied uneasily, not quite sure what to make of the money he was slapping down before them.

"Him," he motioned sideways.

She spun her head swiftly. He was finishing off his drink. The lights behind him highlighted his instantly recognizable profile.

He turned and locked eyes with her. His face broke into a surreptitious smile. He looked amazing dammit. She wanted to melt.

God how she had wanted to see him! That's basically what drove them to this dump. It had been a month since she had seen him.

The way forward led in one direction only. It led to Sam.

His eyes were glowering at her. She knew it even with the gap between them, and the shadows created by his background of glowering red-tinted lights.

The glowering red-tinted lights coming from the ambulance were strangely reassuring.

The jitters inside of Andy reconciled in absolute and complete calm. She and Traci had done their jobs. They had most likely saved a life tonight. The girl would be alright. She was going to make it.

Ultimately that was going to count for more than showing up at the Barn with cash and drugs.

She was also at harmony with something else. Sam. He was actually here tonight. That had to be incredibly meaningful and serendipitous. It was a defining moment for Andy. Something was meant to happen with her and Sam… tonight.

"Are you coming?" Traci asked before she climbed into the ambulance.

Andy didn't know what to say. There was no way she was leaving now, not with Sam so close. No bloody way, her heart and body was screaming out.

Instead she replied quietly, almost too absently. "I'll meet you back at the station."

Traci turned to give Andy a sternly reproachful look. Naturally, she knew what was going on. She also knew, as did Andy, that it went strictly against protocol.

She realized she didn't have a hope in hell of convincing Andy to reconsider, but she gave it a stab anyway. She spoke assertively and even used the words "stupid" and "off limits". Andy merely acknowledged her words and nodded.

She watched as the ambulance pulled away with its brisk flashing lights cutting sharply into the night. She recalled that time last month when she and Sam stood in a puddle of light next to an ambulance.

It was the last time she saw him. Until tonight. He was only a few steps away now.

She had no choice left to her. As she turned swiftly to go back inside, she caught a passing glimpse of her shadow magnified by the golden-hued street lamps.

The golden-hued street lamps cast a grave new light on the street as she brushed out the bar door. It felt blustery cold, but not nearly as brutal as the rejection she had just suffered at the hands of Sam.

The lights and noises brandished on and on all around her, but her senses were deadened and her hopes listless and drowned.

She grimaced and shivered in disbelief as she sunk her hands deeply into her pockets. She was so crestfallen that she hadn't even bothered to zip up her jacket to stave off some of the freeze from hitting her body full on.

As she exhaled she closed her eyes trying to shut out the head lamps of cars and the brash music coming from inside The Alpine. The one thing she couldn't obliterate was the decisively hard blow she had just received.

He had refused her. He had sent her away. He had sent her off into the frigid night with a gentle let down and that was all. Goddammit, it hurt. It sure as hell wasn't supposed to play out like that.

She grappled to understand it. She couldn't believe Sam. All night across from that dammed pool table, sitting on the confounded bar stool beside her, all night he had given her those enticingly knowing looks.

She had noticed his eyes slowly roam appreciatively all over her body, causing her to tremble and blush. That stoked glower of pleasure and lust in his eyes was channeled directly at her and her alone.

He had even smiled at her with his completely compelling dimples.

Shoot. Had she read him completely wrong? Was he just a spectre of the Sam she knew, putting on a slick act for that JD character?

She felt an acute stab to the pit of her stomach as she realized that he might not want her at all. Was he completely over her then? Was that previously unstoppable spark burning between them extinguished for good?

This intense craving that was scorching her inside out, perhaps it was now just a
one-sided desperate grab at a burnt-out past and a going-nowhere future. Was she too late for Sam?

The hand on her shoulder was sudden, familiar, warm and pressing.

She turned and looked into his smouldering eyes. Her doubts from just moments before dissipated into nothingness.

It was all there in his deep brown eyes. It was pure, naked, unmistakable cohesion with her own crazy need and want.

"Let's go," he said with the faintest hint of a smile. She looked straight into his eyes. No more masks existed. Instinctively she moved to go in whichever direction he wanted to take her.

The chill cut through them. She shivered again as she walked silently beside him on the sidewalk. He didn't say anything. They didn't even look at each other right away.

Sam shrugged his jacket on and glanced at her sideways. This was insane. There was no more logic left in his brain. All he knew was that it felt completely right at last.

They reached his car and he ushered her into the passenger seat. Moments later he was driving off into the dark night. The heat gushed at her through the vents.

Andy leaned her head on the rest behind her and looked at Sam's profile. She knew he felt her eyes on him. He looked deeply pensive and serious as he kept his eyes trained on the road ahead.

She felt an overwhelming urge to reach out and stroke his jaw and cheek. She nervously tapped her fingers on her knee to give them something to do instead.

Her mouth felt dry and she swallowed hard. "Where are we going?" She asked. She couldn't keep this silence going any longer. It wasn't in her nature. He had even once joked that she was allergic to silence.

He turned and looked at her then with a puzzled expression, even a touch of a wry smile.

"Well, I can't take you to a hotel now can I McNally?" He replied with that familiar sarcastic mark in his voice.

She smiled. He had called her McNally again. He had also resorted to sarcasm. These were very good signs. They reassured her that he wasn't planning on dropping her at a taxi rank. She was willing to bet her last penny that the thought had crossed his mind though.

"Sam… I-" she began a little awkwardly.

He held up his hand focusing on the road again. "I know it's a challenge Andy, but how about not overthinking this one." He turned and smiled at her with those delicious dimples.

God he was incorrigible. She smiled back her eyes sparkling.

"Is Nash okay?"

Andy nodded. "She's probably back at 15 already. We helped a girl who overdosed. Traci went with the paramedics to the hospital."

He looked at her without a smile this time."That place doesn't exactly attract the most… wholesome kind of crowd." Sam muttered. He slowed down and pulled into a parking lot behind an apartment building.

"That's why we were there!" She quipped with an accompanying smart smirk on her face.

"Are you sure?" He asked, his jaw raised and his mouth remaining open.

He had her cornered with that statement. She turned away refusing to answer.

"Okay, wait here. I'll be back in five minutes."

"What are you going to do?" She asked curiously. She felt a sudden pang. Christ did he have some kind of live-in UC girlfriend he needed to chase out?

He raised his eyebrows reading her mind. Then he leaned forward slightly. She could feel his warmth brushing into her.

"It's a UC apartment McNally. You know cameras, wires!"

"Oh. Right. Right." She nodded, pulling a face and looking at him furtively.

He stepped out the car and disappeared up the staircase leading to a back door. She looked around her with a new uneasiness. He really did give her a sense of safety.

Without his reassuring presence, and her shield of uniform and weapon, she suddenly felt vulnerable and nervous in this unknown neighborhood where Sam worked his undercover mission.

He was back in minutes as he promised. "All clear," he said opening her car door.

She walked with him as if in a daze. This couldn't be real. He guided her up a staircase and then opened his apartment door.

She stepped into the darkened room hearing him flick the light switch on behind her. He dropped his jacket on a chair in the corner too. It was a really nice place. It was sophisticated and comfortable. It was perfect!

She couldn't believe he could just disconnect the cameras and wires at his pleasure.

She looked into his eyes as she told him so, handing him her jacket at the same time. It was her statement that she had no intention of leaving anytime too soon.

He gave her some kind of jokey response. She didn't really care what he said. They were finally alone together. This was not an opportunity she was going to squander.

He looked at her with deep intent. It went against everything his body was calling out for, but he had to give her one more chance to reconsider. He had to somehow underline once again that the fantasy-like choices they were making, were also far from sound.

He gave her one more opportunity to back down and return to sanity. He half expected her to take it and run. After all it was a pattern they had unwittingly fallen into. It was the norm that whenever they were on the cusp of something wonderful, she would flee.

But not this time! She meandered deeper into his apartment and turned to look at him with a saucy expression upon her face. His eyes drifted to her fingers that were slowly and beguilingly undoing her shirt buttons.

She looked amazing. Even better than he remembered actually. He needed to close the distance between them. He didn't think it would be possible for him to keep his hands off of her a moment longer.

He approached her as she sat on the table. He crowded into her space, his eyes boring deeply into hers. If this was really going to happen, she needed to know the line they were crossing was extreme.

It could impact their careers, this case, the whole confounded 15 Division, not to mention change their friendship forever. This one decision of theirs could have deep rippling effects on all of it. She needed to know.

She looked unguarded into his eyes so he could be absolutely certain when she spoke. She didn't want to go back. She just wanted to go forward… with him… at last.

He touched her with a firm reverence and intriguing gentleness. His mouth hovered teasingly above hers before he kissed her. It was so exquisitely soft; she thought she would crumble into a million pieces.

Then his arms came around her possessively and his mouth became more hungry and demanding. She thrived on how he craved her, bringing her hands up his arms and shoulders to caress his neck. He felt so good, so solid, firm and strong.

When he helped her pull his shirt off, his eyes practically burned her with fiery passion. Her pulse raced a million miles an hour and her skin tingled everywhere as he kissed, nuzzled and touched her. Then he looked at her intently again, before picking her up whole and carrying her to his bed.

Nothing in her life until now could rival the sheer romance he was showing her. She didn't know she would be so intuitive to it. As his mouth claimed hers again, she was quite certain she was going to melt in his arms.

He gently lowered her on the bed and rose to remove her shirt. A magical chill danced over her entire body. Sam lingered with his mesmerizing touches and kisses. He didn't rush a single thing. Everything he did was deep, deliberate and exciting. God he was really taking his time with her. It was just so amazing, considering they really didn't have very much of it.

"Sam," she whispered softly, just before his lips came back to hers and his fingers grazed across her skin to remove another piece of her clothing.

He looked at her with hunger in his eyes as the silvery moonlight spilled over her soft, tantalizing skin.

The silvery moonlight spilled over her soft, tantalizing skin as he continued to swirl his fingers across her back.

"No," he whispered. "And, you have to go,"

"Yeah I do," she nodded with a brief smile before leaning in to meet his lips. They kissed with a new feverish urgency, thrust upon them by a clock that was relentlessly chasing them down.

Sam got a firm grasp of her lean body and flipped her on her back.

She felt so silken, warm, pliant and responsive in his arms. He couldn't believe how remarkable it had been to finally experience being with Andy. She was everything he imagined and more. She was lithe, energetic and sexy, but he had also discovered how completely giving, trusting and unhindered she was with her body.

He truly felt like he had made love to her intuitively and naturally. It all just seemed to flow like a piece of art coming together. She had responded so vigorously and ardently. With her glowering eyes and hurried breathing he had gleaned just how much thrill she got from his touch.

He looked into her eyes now as his hand travelled up her flat stomach, and across her rib cage. He watched her eyelids flutter and heard her deep intake of breath, as she anticipated where his hand would go next.

When he did gently cover her breast and knead the hardened nipple, her breath came faster and harder. He pressed down on her body while his mouth grazed over the delicious skin of her neck and shoulder.

Andy sighed and pulled his face upward, before landing her lips forcefully on his. He didn't stop kissing her till she was breathless. Her body quivered and tilted upward to meet his. She buried her nose in his neck as he moved his fingers to her other breast.

She moaned softly and brought her mouth to his ear. "I can still make it if I don't leave right this minute." She whispered breathlessly.

He groaned and pulled her to him.

A little later she hugged the sheet around her body as she rose from the bed and collected her items of clothing scattered on the floor. He watched her silently. She could feel his eyes burning into her. She smiled at him and disappeared into the bathroom.

When she came out she was fully dressed. He was waiting for her wearing his jeans, but he was still shirtless. Dammit he wasn't going to make this easy.

He held her jacket pretty much the way he had when she handed it to him a mere few hours ago.

"There is a cab waiting for you outside already," he whispered hoarsely handing the jacket to her. "Get it to drop you a few blocks from the Barn. Do you have money?"

It would be best if he didn't give her money. There would be fewer lies for her to fabricate.

"Yes, enough for the ride and maybe twenty dollars extra to show to Boyd," she answered reading his mind. She pulled her jacket on.

He smiled at her. She could tell he was impressed with her spunk as his rookie cop again.

"You did good tonight Andy," he said slowly.

She giggled. "Thank you. You weren't too bad yourself, Officer Swarek."

He rolled his eyes and looked away. "You know what I mean."

She pulled her boots on.

"Yes, yes" she laughed, making her way to the door.

"I really have to go Sam." She stated the obvious, not really knowing what else to say. She had the wistful look about her again.

He stared at her. "Andy, this op, it won't last forever. I'll be back… hopefully sooner rather than later." He managed a smile.

She nodded. "I know. Just watch your back. Believe it or not everyone at 15 wants you back in one piece!" She paused and cleared her throat, then looked at him almost demurely. "I want you back." She added very softly.

He stepped towards her and pulled the loose ends of her unzipped jacket, till she was right against him. He kissed her long, hard and sensually.

When he broke away she smiled.

"Bye" she said, dropping another quick, chaste kiss on his lips.

"Bye," he whispered back.

She opened the door and was gone. Gone out of his life.

He made his way to the window and watched her get into the waiting taxi. Its headlights cast a pool of swimming light on the tarmac.

A pool of swimming light on the tarmac drifted to the stair case of the farm house.

It was one of the only spots of road not covered in snow and ice.

Andy stood in stunned silence. Sam would be coming down those stairs any minute now. He was alive! She had a complete sense of elation and relief burgeoning inside her.

Yet, all around her there was a heavy darkness and stark stabs of bright, disruptive light. They were reminding her just how dangerous that night had been.

Sam could have died here, in this gutted, darkened place without even a sliver of a hope.

She looked up and away from the bloodied face of Brennan. She saw Sam then, flanked by officers, looking ragged and worn. His clothes were torn and he walked stiffly. His arm looked awkward and painful.

He came down those stairs and wandered through that pool of light to stand right before her.

She looked at him. He was pale, battered, bruised and bleeding. God was his spirit broken too? The light shone brashly on the gashes on the left side of his face. She fought the urge to reach her hand up to brush over those cuts.

He looked devastated actually. As he breathed out puffs of white cloud formulated in the air, and she felt his warmth hit her face.

He looked at her taking in the obvious worry written all over her face. She looked perfect. She didn't have a scratch on her thank goodness. Relief gushed throughout his body.

There was no way he could be certain Brennan hadn't lied to him about her. Now he could see with his eyes she was indeed alive and safe. He couldn't really fathom anything else right now. His mind was raw and his body ragged.

He was weakened and weary, but Andy was alive and looking at him with those lovely amber eyes of hers.

"Hi" he said, awkwardly emitting more white air towards her. She didn't reply. He knew McNally inside and out by now. Even though he was ravaged with fatigue and injury, he knew she was waging a private battle of her own. She was wracked with guilt. She was blaming herself for what had happened to him.

Goddammit, he would have to find a way to make her stop blaming herself for everything. He had broad shoulders and he could take whatever they threw at them. She needed to do the same, without a burden of added guilt.

Sam turned to move past her. He knew they would bring him to the station for debriefing. He didn't know if he would get any more time with her tonight.

She looked so damned confused and uncertain and he had no way of assuring her of anything that was about to happen. He didn't know himself.

The things he did know were plain and simple: He didn't blame her for one single thing; he didn't regret any one of those exceptional stolen moments with her. Most of all he really wanted her in his life.

He walked away from her. The haunting glimmer of her eyes empowered him.

The haunting glimmer of her eyes empowered him. With the gentle flakes of snow falling all around her, and uncertainty still in her face, he couldn't believe how deeply he had fallen for her.

When he saw her moments earlier, he again saw something resplendent, pure and crystalline amid the night's calamity. She was, as always, an incredibly welcome sight for sore eyes.

Now was his moment. Now was his time to finally assert himself with her.

He ignored the qualms in her voice.

"You want to try being normal together?" He asked with not a hint of doubt.

She smiled at him in response, shedding a bright new radiance all around her.

How the hell did he know how to be normal with her? Heck he may as well be honest. What would normal look like with her as more than just his colleague?

She smiled at him again. He saw her reach for the door handle and open it. She wanted this! She really wanted this with him!

The cloud of darkness and worry lifted as she looked at his playful smile. It was all as plain and light as day to her now. She wanted normal with Sam, whatever the heck that meant. She wanted it more than anything.

Maybe there was no deep mystery to it after all.

The way forward led in one direction only. It led to Sam.

The headlights of his truck shone through the snow with clarity as he shifted in gear and headed forward on the road ahead.