My heart jumped into my throat as a raced down the street, weaving in between people to avoid hitting them. I can't recall feeling this way, a sense of panic…? I'm unsure, maybe scared? That emotion seems to fix better. My pace stops as the thought of me being scared seeps into my tongue and then rolls off of it. " Scared? " I muttered, a small smirk forms on my face. I can't remember the last time I felt this way because I never really did. I'm a shinobi, not some damn teenage girl over flowing with hormones. I'm indecent as hell and I force my own. Endure and survive. Yet, this seemed so carved out. I continue my way to Hashirama's estate, I faintly remember the day he threw himself at my feet begging me to stay with him. Living with him wasn't the problem, I lived with him for years since I am his only surviving brother. No, he was moving up and on with his life. I didn't need to be apart of it as much. Plus the thought of overhearing his girlfriend at that time and him having sex, made his offer so much more unappealing. My nerves finally settled enough to regain my unreadable composer. Although it's pointless. Everyone already knows I'm concerned for my brother; I didn't even bother with my normal attire. My face mask which bares the village's symbol is gone, I'm wearing a black tank top and shorts. A fashion sense I used to wear as a child . An obvious hint that I, "The cold hearted bastard", felt something other than contempt. I don't hate people, just… Scratch that. I hate Uchihas, everyone else I don't mind. As long as they're not in my way, they're not a problem. I stood at the door, deciding whether my dear older brother would be up for seeing me at this very moment. After all, him leaving the office for a whole week had to be important. I can't help it when my eyes roll, my brother working? Hardly. Mr. 'I care about everyone', usually mingled with people but not recently. I'm hoping this is just a mild case of depression, something that can be cured by him seeing me. Then again, he didn't even requested my presence. His recently married wife, Mito uzumaki, did. That women gets on my nerves as much as I get on hers which is a lot supposedly. She thinks because my brother and her have been married for a few days that she can ask for favors anytime of the day. The first few I didn't mind.
I hesitate for a brief moment before knocking on the door. Mito's opens the door, however she seems off. Her normal, 'what the fuck are you doing here' glare is replaced with a pained expression. Her bright warm chakra greets me. Suddenly, a darker chakra hits my senses, it causes me to step back. Her energy is gone from most of her body and sent to focus on something? Normally I felt this around pregnant women, chakra energy goes to the child to help the process. However chakra never grows dark, especially the Uzumaki clan's. Most of the clan's chakra is always so warm and bright. I'm more confused than ever, I've literally gotten no where. My brother up and left one day, everyone who worked in that office refused to tell me what happened. The reports my brother filed are sealed and classified even to me. The elder say my brother might be unfit for the job, a few nurse say that he might have sustained a serious injury. Not that I'm worried about him being injured, Hashirama is currently head of the medic shinobi, every nurse or medic who can't heal something come to him.
I stare deeply at Mito, long time ago I used to have a small crush on her. She's beautiful but she preferred my brother, at least those were her exact words. She wasn't willing to leave me hanging, she wanted to hook me up with her younger sister. I turned her down. Her sister was indeed beautiful, just not my type. She's too shy, always blushing. Yet Mito swears up and down that her sister was a kinky little bitch.
At last her eyes meet mine and that's all I need, the problem starts with Hashirama. I see the more of the pained expression from the corner of my eye as a turn away. I swear if he lost his temper and went off on her, his going to get a good piece of my mind. Time to time the hokage is known to lose his temper, only with you push too many of his buttons. Or threaten anyone's life in his village.
"Please, don't say anything to upset him." She whispered as her hand brushed against my wrist. My gaze fell to the ground, gritting my teeth. I'm done. I suppress much of my anger. "Someone better tell me what the fuck is going on before I lose my cool. Whether I force it out of you or him, it doesn't matter to me. Something is off and I'm not going to sit by, doing nothing about this." I growl, then made my way past her to go up stairs. I always forget my brother's room is the last room in the hallway, to the the right. I end up going to two different rooms. I'm jealous. My house looks like a dog house compared to his home. 'Maybe I should have stayed. Look at this place. It's so simple. At the same time, amazing…..And big." I thought bitterly to myself. I stepped in front of the master bedroom, pushing the already opened door to where I can squeeze through it. I see my brother sitting there on the edge of the bed. "Well….A+ for having clothes on." I crack off a joke. Nothing. Taking the first step, a huge wave of sadness sinks in on me. Right about this time I hate being able to sense chakra and emotions so well. Every emotional change someone went through, so did the chakra. Each day it's the same, that person is pissed, sad, hurt. Sometimes the feeling of lust greatly lingers. I can't stand it. My fists clenched into a tight ball, until my knuckles turn white. I walk up to him and place my hand on his shoulder, kneeling down to see his face. The smell of alcohol invades my nose, he's been crying for hours. His eyes are bloodshot. The skin around his eyes are irritated and red. I'm shocked. It's been a long time since he cried this hard.
"Hashirama?" I say softly, gaining his attention. I get a feeling I should go on. "What's wrong?" So much for mild depression.
"I killed him." Hashirama said deadpanned. Fresh tears slip down his face.
I narrow my eyes. "Who"
"My long time friend, Uchiha Madara" He whispered, a hurt expression plastered on his face.
Something inside me crawls into my throat, I swallowed hard trying to get this lump out of my throat. Memories from my past swell up. All the trouble he cause me, the physical pain he cause me. Everything he did...My anger grows. I stand up as I fold my arms across my chest. A scoff escapes my throat, his head snapped up to glare at me. I bite my lip, thinking my word choice out. Words fly out of my mouth.
"Good! Serves him fucking right. He deserve it! I told you he was nothing but a disaster waiting to happen, a waste of time. Madara was never to be trus-" Hashirama grabbed me by the arms and pulled me down on the bed. He used my shoulders to pin me down tightly. I grunted at the pain from my collarbone, I was worried that Hashirama, for the second time, snapped it again. Luckily he didn't. His iron grip doesn't let up, my back and collarbone hurt from being pushed so hard into the bed. I hear it creak from the pressure his putting on me.
"Tobimara, you listen to me. He was my only true friend, hell my best friend. I didn't want to hurt him! But damn it! He threatened to kill everyone! I was left with no choice. Don't you dare say the words of our father!" He cried.
My face turns up in pain, his glare softens realizing he was the one cause me so much discomfort. He lets go to return to the edge. I rub my shoulder, shooting up from the bed. "How? What was he going to use? Madara is strong, but to take out a whole village? Impossible. Maybe he had a different plan in mind." I mutter in thought.
"Well not anymore he doesn't. I killed him. The tailed beast he-"
"What?! He was going to use a tailed beast?! Where the fuck did he find it? How did he control it? Where is it now?!" A bad feeling tears through my stomach at the last question.
"It doesn't matter where he found it! He used the sharingans to control it." He said. Hashirama looked away. " Mito…."
I glare at him. Almost daring him to finish it.
"The Kyuubi is sealed away. Mito is the host. It was her choice-"
My eyes widen. "You sealed the tailed beast inside your own wife?! Nice fucking way to consummate your marriage." I had to say it, can't keep my mouth shut. Nope. The most cruel and inappropriate shit always has to come out of my mouth. A swift, hard punch is delivered to my eye. I cry out, my world spins. His yelling is muffled by the ringing going on in my ears. Damn was does he earn our father's strength? The next thing I know I'm on the floor. Hashirama picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I hate him, he goes through so many different emotions in one day. I could tell he regretted punching me. I groaned quietly as my face meet with his muscled back, I buried my face into the curve of it, gripping his shirt tightly. I'm not a little kid anymore, I'm not going to put up with him hitting me because of uncontrolled rage. "You'll pay for that" I growled. I only got a simple nod in returned, my irritation spiked. Mito stood up right as Hashirama's foot reached the bottom floor. My eye beginning to swell shut. I hear her muttered a quick damn it, I feel Mito take up a protective motherly feeling, she snatchs me away from him. She holds me close to her chest.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?! How dare you punch your own brother!" She hissed at him. Mito guided me to a chair then rushes off to get an ice pack. She slams it into my eye. I wince, my eye becomes numb from the cold." I'm off." I mutter. Too late, the yelling fits begin and I stand up to leave knowing all too well that Hashirama will come by my house to apologize in some form. If not, he'll sulk around about his actions until he feels like his punishment is over.
When I got home, opened the door...Happiness. My couch sat there waiting for me, welcoming me back. I flopped down on it, a stiff groan flowed past my lips. Closing my eyes, I snuggled into the nearest pillow my head could reach. All thoughts, worries, hatred melted away. Leaving me with peace. My eye throbbed seemed to intensify the more I ignored it. Serves me right for such behavior. Then again, Why not? Father never lectured me on how to be a nice person. Only on how to be a better shinobi, that emotion is what makes you weak. That finding a lover makes you soft. I drifted off, remembering a certain day. The day before my brother died.
"Stay away from girls."
I smile.
"I want grandchild but not this early! Damn it, boy, keep it in your pants! Don't fall in love. It's a weakness, they'll use it against you. Besides, what do you need her for? You're only eight years old. What? How do you guys show your love? Huh? Do you take her back to your room and build a fort? OR maybe you guys eat cookies by the moonlight and then say 'I have to go, my daddy's waiting for me' REAL ROMANTIC KID!" Butsuma snickered.
My brothers laughing at me. My face turns red with embarrassment. I needed to smooth over this situation. I can't be a laughing stock. I turn sharply to my father, his kneeling down close to my level as if he could tell I was going to say something interesting.
"For your information, I've seen her naked! " His eyebrows raise in surprise.
"Oh really, Romo?"
My face burns, sinking my teeth into the side of my cheek. He knew I hated to be called that. It came from some damn play.
"At least half naked…"
"Yeah?" His gaze goes deeper into my soul.
"She pulled down her bra, Okay! That's something to be proud of!"
His snicker turned into a full blown laughter. "She hasn't even hit puberty! All you saw was a flat chest! That's nothing to be proud of. Now, son, take a good look at your mother. " A arm draped around me, his strong arm pulled me close so I could see what he wanted me to see. "That's something to be proud of! Breast that provide a great place for you to rest your head, a nice squeezable ass. Your mother's a really beauty. And that why I put my dick inside her so many times. Created you little twerps. I'd do her like an animal every god damn day if she would let me. But nooooo, something about putting on weight and the risk of another child. My children walking into to see their mother tied up on all fours with me fucking her like a dog, while she screams out my name. I think she mentioned not wanting to scare her children for life"
He grinned seeing the disgusted look on his sons' faces.
"Ewww! Too much info!"his children screamed in unison, running away. He grabbed Tobi by his shirt.
" I'm serious."
I nod my head, running after my brothers.
A few seconds later their mother came through the front door with a frying pan, ready to kick her husband's ass. " I fucking told you I didn't want to scar them! I can't believe you told them such vulgar things!" She screamed.
Butsuma laughed.
I prefer to remember my old man that way, unlike the evil, sinister bastard he became. I can't look back, put a smile on my face just to say Butsuma was a good man because he wasn't, he lead several children their deaths including my brothers. Hell bent on winning against the Uchihas, he worked Hashirama to death. Even went as off as abusing my brother. He changed after mother died from a strange illness. Really, that women used to be the thing that kept him glued to the ground. Knocks from the door pull me away from my thought. It's only been six hours since my last discussion with my brother. I lazily stood up from the couch, walked to the door and pulled it open. The face of this unwanted guest boils my blood, one of the elders stood in the doorway. I move aside and motioned her to come in.
"Nice to see your more organized. " She muttered, her beaded little eyes scan over everything, my face isn't left unnoticed. "Fix that, you look like horrible! Who did this to you?" She demanded.
I look to her, what comes out of my mouth shocks her. "I did it to myself. Yeah, you see I was jerking off and something went wrong, ended up hitting my eye." I replie.
The elder bitch is disgusted now, but she doesn't believe the lie I just pulled freshly out of my ass. I laugh at my own stupid remark. Something went wrong and I hit my eye? You'd have to be special to pull it off, or dumb. I smile inwardly. It was funny to see her wrinkled face make a different expression other than the one she made all the time. Her expression gave off a feel everyone's beneath her.
"Forget it, I see you'll never grow up" She snapped, heading out again.
"It's not like growing up did me any good." I grumble.
~~~
Two hours later, the man I originally waited for showed his face. I stare at him, wanting to yell, curse at him, tell him how much of a bastard he is. Nothing, no words come out. Probably for the best. I already said enough. The Hokage sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.
"It's my fault that you got punched."
"Huh?"
"I kept you out of the loop. I needless let the fact of your my brother cloud my mind. It was unprofessional. You're basically the 2nd hokage, everyone looks to you when I don't get the word out. You have a right to know this kinds of this right as they happen. You kept me on track, cleaned up after me. I was wrong to punch you. To make up for it, I'm taking you out drinking. I'm payin' He gave me a wink.
"No gambling?"
He shook his head. "Nope, I'm cutting back."
"Yeah right."
The walk to the bar was quiet, giving me time to go back to my thoughts. Madara, I never liked him, killing his brother only made it worse. His hate grew to the point where it almost overflowed, in ways it fueled my hate towards him. Unexplainable really. I just hated that man, him hating me gave me enough reason to hate him back. Now that he's dead….I could drop that hate, let it go. Parts of me objected to that thought. I told Madara that I'd see to it that he would be dead before he reached his thirties, guess I was right. Out of all the bars, he had to pick this one. The newest one to be build in the village in recent years. It's been packed with younger adults for the past month, no old timer dared wandered in there, too loud or something. I felt bad, yet like a king strolling past young adults forced to wait in line. Hashirama being the hokage had it's perks, for one, most everyone could care less if he went past the line. They actually found it more awkward to stand next to him, fearful they might slip out the wrong bit of information. Or a report the young ninja's never bothered to fill out. A village never sleeps, my work never ends. I couldn't help when I took some of the scrolls for work. One scroll I kept close to me at all times, I began to work on a new jutsu, one to bring back dead shinobi to live to be controlled by me. I figured I might as well work on it while our village is at peace. The other scroll is simply an idea for the ninja academy, the way the teams are set up now is annoying. The best only working with the best, leaving the weaker ones to fend for themselves, is unfair. My brother nudged me in the ribs. I sigh, downing another drink. He nudges me again. 'I wonder if I ignore him long enough, he'll leave me the hell only.' I thought. Hashirama pouts, elbowing me harder. "What!" I snap.
"Stop working and enjoy yourself." He pouts.
He watches as I down several more, rolling up my scrolls to put them back. I take one another drink, slamming my class down harder than I should have. The broken glass cuts deep into the flesh. A huge silence lingers over us.
"Do you remember the first time you met him?"
My eye's widen. "How could I forget."
