Author: MarieAmethyst
Title: Middle Earth Skating Rink
Part One: Pippin's Hot Pink Skates, or They All(but one) Fall Down!
Rating: PG for some little suggestion stuff.
Warning: Aragorn in a silk shirt, an elf that can *really* skate, and an appearance by me!*grin*
Genre: humor
Disclaimer: I only own myself and the blond in here. The rest belong to J. R. R. Tolkien.
Author's Note: Just taking a break from Surrender to the Darkness.^^ I mean no insult to blonds or their intelligence, I myself was born blond, and my boyfriend is blond. I'm just *trying* to be funny here.(I know, I know. Keyword is trying...)

~*~

The Fellowship walked into the ice skating rink and looked around.The place was deserted except for a bored looking blonde standing behind a counter.

Merry looked around confused,"Um,what exactly am I doing here?"

"That's what I want to know!"Pippin said,"I was just in the middle of a good smoke!"

A teenage girl comes running in,"Shh guys!You're suppose to be acting like you know what you're doing!Don't ruin my story!"She brushed back her brown hair and glared at the two hobbits.

"Sorry..." they both murmured,giving her a small bow.

"That's better.Anything else before I get back to writing this?"

"Yes,milady,I have one."

The girl glanced over at the man,"What,Aragorn?"

He plucked at the black shirt he was wearing,"Why do I have a silk shirt on?"

She rolled her eyes,"Because you're the sex appeal in this story,baby.Besides,it suits you.Be thankful I didn't write you in with a pink tutu for the humor part.Any other questions?"The rest remained silent."Good!Okay,now go get your skates and skate!"She walked back toward the mysterious door,muttering under her breath,"Men!"With a flash of light she disappeared.

The Fellowship glanced at each other and shrugged,then walked over to the counter.The blonde straighted up and gave them a once over,lingering over Aragorn's silk clad chest."Welcome to the Middle Earth Skating Rink,the official skating rink for all the inhabitants of Middle Earth.Boot sizes please."

"Uh,lady,we hobbits don't wear anything on our feet,"Frodo said in a hesitant voice

The blonde leaned over the counter to look down at him,"Well hun,there's always a time to try something new.It just so happens we have 4 pairs of skates just for hobbit feet."

"Yay!" Pippin yelled. "I always wanted to wear sharp pointy objects on my feet and dance on frozen bodies of water! Thanks, Miss Counter Lady Ma'am Sir."

The lady at the counter gave him a strange look. "Whateva. You've been smoking too much pipeweed, kid. So what's the boot sizes?"

They all looked at their feet confused.

"umm...39?" Boromir said nervously, not knowing what to do.

"71" Gandalf said, also confused.

"2" Merry said.

"19" Legolas said.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "You guys have no clue, do you!"

They all looked at the floor and shook their head.

"Hold still." she said, and looked at their shoes. "I'll have to take a guess. Hold on!" She went to the backroom for some skates. Legolas gripped their side of the counter. Sam held Strider's hand, and Boromir grabbed Gandalf's staff.

"Why did she tell us to hold on to something?" Legolas asked, confused.

Finally, she came back with 9 pairs of skates, and handed them out. Turning to enter the ice part of the rink, the girl at the counter pinched Aragorn's butt.

He turned around. "Hey!" he said angrily. The girl giggled, and went back to whatever she was doing.

The Fellowship opened the doors to the ice rink. There were some benches on the side, and they all sat down to put on their skates.

Legolas laced them up first, and went to get on the ice. He skated out into the center of the rink with much skill, keeping his balance the entire time, and then spinning in circles.

"It's great, guys! Come try this!" he said, spinning twice more and skated around in a circle with one foot held out behind him.

The other 8 of the Fellowship skated out on the ice and all fell on top of each other at once in a heap. Legolas stopped skating and folded his arms. He rolled his eyes.

Aragorn jammed Gandalf's staff into the ice and tried to pull himself up, but fell down again on top of Frodo.

"Elves and their agility! Puh!" Gimli said as he tried to push Boromir's hefty figure off his leg.

"Dwarves and their unagility,"Legolas retorted.

Pippin,who had fell down next to Merry, was looking at his skates. He banged the edge of one on the ice, and his face fell. "I think my skates are to big."

"Go ask that weird lady at the counter for a smaller set then!" Merry told him, rubbing his left thigh absently.

The other hobbit brightened up. "That's brilliant! Thanks Merry!" He crawled off the ice, not seeing Merry roll his eyes. Sitting on the bench again, he quickly stripped off the skates, then padded barefoot to the counter.

The girl, reading the latest Seventeen, looked up as he stopped before her, "What now? I'm in the middle of the Intelligence Quiz here."

You must not score high, Pippin thought, but wisely kept this to himself. "Sorry, lady, but my skates are to big. Could I please have a smaller pair?"

She looked annoyed at the interruption, but set the magazine aside and took the skates. She disappeared into the backroom again, and returned quickly with another pair. The hobbit eyed the hot pink skates and shook his head.

"I am NOT wearing pink skates!" he exclaimed.

"Fool of a Took!" the girl said, "it's the only pair left! Its either them or don't skate at all!"

Pippin thought hard, then took the offered skates slowly. "You probably planned this...I bet Gandalf is behind this! He's trying to get me back from when I stole his staff and used it for the prop of Sam's scarecrow in the garden. I didn't think he was that mad though!"

"I'd seriously think about quitting whatever stuff you've been smoking, kid," the blond suggested, going back to reading Seventeen.

He shrugged and walked back over to the bench, thinking of the reaction the others when they saw the skates.