A/N: Howdy there! Since I'm completely obsessed with Emison and everything PLL related, I decided to write about a plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone. And since there's basically no hope for any more Emison on the show (I'm looking at you Lorenzo) I'm going to create my own. Yeah, you heard me Marlene! I DEFY YOU STARS! *ahem*, excuse me.
A small explanation first. Everything is canon up to season 2 episode 12, "Over My Dead Body." Think of this as a sort of prologue. Just a heads up, It doesn't really veer off into AU territory until the last half of the chapter. You'll have to be patient ;)
Only one warning for now: Language.
The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly. - F. Scott Fitzgerald
Alison, for once was not being overly dramatic when she said she hated her life.
There was some part of her predicament that made her feel better, in the fact that she was finally justified in feeling so terrible. There was a time, forever ago, when she felt guilty for being depressed when her life was essentially perfect. Her family was wealthy, she had perfect friends (compassionate, smart, admiring... loyal) and she was being doused in compliments from every direction.
However, inside she was empty. It took her a long time to realize that no one loved her, they feared her. She used to believe that the difference didn't matter as long as she was on top. It only started to matter once she was alone with no one to turn to. She had no ammunition to use on strangers like she used on her friends, and was forced to use her looks and charm to get what she wanted. It made her feel filthy every time someone looked her over with an appreciative glance or touched her when she didn't invite them to. But she did what she needed to survive, and surviving isn't always pretty.
She was blinded by illusions of grandeur, and evidently had pissed off the wrong person in her rise to the top. She was always fearless and knew exactly what she wanted, and how to get it. She was a demon behind an angels face, with her only goal being to remain on top and in absolute control, which was exactly why A's appearance had shook her to the core and shattered her world.
The control she was in love with was torn from her, and, for the first time in her young life, she was the mouse instead of the cat.
The worst part was that she knew it was her fault. She was vindictive, controlling, manipulative and paranoid during her school days. She was finally getting a taste of her own medicine, and it tasted fucking horrible. She always thought that A was just the universe giving her back everything she dished out; however it stopped being payback and turned into overkill when she was forced to leave town in fear for her life. In one of her more insane moments, she was convinced that A was Satan himself, always knowing exactly what she was doing and what her secrets were. Some of the secrets A taunted her with were things she had never told anyone. A always knew just what to say to terrify her. A was her puppet master and she was the puppet, forced to do whatever A said or else everybody would know what she had done.
Alison had never been one to show very much emotion, but once the texts turned into blatant threats of death, she started getting panic attacks. She had always prided herself on being level headed in any situation, but once she started losing control of her own body, the attack fed off of her anxiety of losing control and she found herself shaking and hyperventilating on the bathroom floor. Her mother found her a few minutes later, and immediately had their doctor prescribe Alison anxiety medication. It always made her feel drowsy and made it hard to fall asleep, so she went through her last days in Rosewood barely lucid.
The insomnia she experienced made her highly paranoid and prone to hallucinations, and she found herself jumping at shadows and checking behind all the doors in her house. She could feel her mind start to deteriorate as the texts got more and more hostile. But, Alison was a fantastic actress, and her friends never suspected that anything was off. She used makeup to cover the bags under her eyes, and eye drops to help her eyes look less blood shot.
The first day away from Rosewood felt like a vacation in the most expensive resort in Hawaii, after living your entire life inside a pig pen. The freedom from her responsibilities, from A, from social pressures felt like she just shrugged off a hundred pounds. With some of the money she took from home, she took a bus far away from Rosewood and checked into a motel. She practically floated down the hallway and fell into the bed, sobbing into the surprisingly clean pillows. There were no texts that night, or the next night, or the next... Alison always thought that hope was for idiots. But she was, let's say... cautiously optimistic.
Despite everything Alison was going through, her thoughts always drifted back to her. To Emily.
Just the name made her feel nauseous. She was the one constant in Alison's life since she had known her, the one person who Alison ever truly cared about. Looking back on it all, Alison couldn't help but feel ashamed of herself. Emily was like a puppy, constantly looking at her for affection and validation. It was almost concerning how much Emily trusted her. Alison always knew that their relationship was slightly unhealthy; her need for comfort and abandonment issues were fueled by Emily's loving nature, while Emily's insecurities were sated by the love Alison secretly showered her with in fear of being alone.
Emily was always looking for the good in people, and was possibly the most optimistic person Alison had ever met. Whenever Emily looked at her, she saw the best version of her. It was the person she wanted to be, not the person that she was. It was possibly for this reason that she never even realized when Alison was manipulating her, saying all the right things to wrap her around her little finger. She remembered when she would talk to Emily in that poisoned-honey tone, and she would hang on to every word. Manipulation was the only way Alison knew to make people like her, she was raised on it, even if it left a bad taste in her mouth.
One of her biggest regrets was never allowing their relationship to grow. She treated Emily like she was her dirty secret, kissing her in private out of fear of being caught. She became terrified when Emily started getting more bold, initiating the kisses instead of waiting for Alison to grace her with one. It was one of the reasons she pushed her to start dating Ben. Emily was too concerned with other people's feelings to cheat on him, but she would also never be truly happy with him like she would be with a girl. Alison thought it was genius, trapping Emily in a relationship she didn't want with a boy to ensure that her feelings for Alison would only grow over time with Alison never actually having to commit to anything. She would even laugh behind her hand whenever Ben would go to kiss her and Emily would push him off, leaving him with an annoyed expression on his face. She knew that Ben wouldn't dare break up with Emily, as she was popular and friends with the great Alison DiLaurentis, and he would likely live in shame the rest of his high school career.
As cliche as it sounded, Alison had no idea what she had until it was gone. It was jarring how much being alone stung, how lost she felt when she had no one on her side anymore. There was no Spencer to help her with her problems, there was no Hanna to unload her anger on, there was no Aria to listen to her vent, and there was no Emily to love her.
Alison reflexively shut her eyes as another pine tree branch flung just by her face. It was just her fucking luck that Jonah chose to tip her off about a goldmine of supplies in the ass end of nowhere. Whipping her phone out, she checked to make sure she was going in the right direction. All she could see in front of her was forest, to the left of her was forest, and to the right of her was, surprise surprise, more forest.
I swear to god if he lied to me I'll find that ass and choke him to death, Alison fumed.
In her time on the run, Alison had made a few friends and the occasional acquaintance. She tried to stay away from people she didn't know (because, as far as she was concerned, anyone could be A). Jonah, a man in his late 20's, was one of the few people who Alison actually kept in contact with. She had a feeling that he felt sorry for her. A year ago, any kind of pity would have pissed her off. Now though, she didn't care what people thought of her, she only cared what she could get from them. She was surprised just how generous people were when looking into the eyes of a sad, angelic street kid. Jonah, however was a seedy looking guy, with messy brown hair complimented by a permanently scraggly beard. Some of his teeth were yellow, and he had twitchy, beady eyes that were always wide like he was in shock. Alison didn't know if he even owned a shower, as his face was always dirty and he smelled like smoke and alcohol.
One day, one of Alison's missing posters made their way into the current town she was staying in, and Jonah put two and two together. As dumb as he looked, Alison had to give him credit where credit was due. Her 'Vivian Darkbloom' disguise hadn't even phased him. As soon as he found out who she was, he refused to be seen with her in fear that he would get into even more trouble with the law. Instead of helping her directly, he would text her information about where she could get more supplies without being caught. It wasn't necessarily stealing, he would say, it was just... borrowing. Indefinitely.
Alison thought the whole thing was ridiculous. She had been hiding in plain sight for over a year, it wasn't like she was going to get caught talking to some random homeless looking guy in an alleyway. She felt her phone buzz in her hand. Looking down, she skimmed over the text.
Are you there yet, V? I've been scoping that barn out for days, I don't think it belongs to anyone. Fucking thing's locked. There's gotta be good shit in there though, right? Who the hell would just leave a perfectly good barn in the middle of nowhere? - J
Alison scoffed in disbelief. If the 'fucking thing' was locked, how was she expected to get in?
I'll let you know if I find anything. Don't get your hopes up though, I'm 90% sure I'm going to be eaten by a bear. - V
If you see a bear, remember to play dead, you've gotten good at that. - J
Alison snorted. For a dirty twenty-eight year old man, some of Jonah's texts sounded like they came straight from Mona.
Alison was suddenly overcome by intense anger. Mona. Fuck her. Fuck her and her stupid hair and her fucking glasses and her-
Wait.
Alison spotted a break in the trees, seeming to open up into a clearing. The clearing connected to a long, abandoned looking dirt road.
Nice, so I could've just taken the road instead of hiking through the forest like Man vs Wild. Great.
As she stepped into the clearing, the first thing she noticed wasn't the barn, but the silver car sitting just outside of it. Something about the car seemed slightly familiar, but she didn't care to dwell on it. She felt her phone go off.
Did you get eaten? - J.
I'm at the barn. There's another car here, I thought you said this place didn't belong to anyone? - V.
I never saw a car there before. Maybe whoever's there can unlock the barn. - J.
Alison rolled her eyes.
Genius. I'll just walk up to the barn, ask them to kindly let me in, take all their shit, say 'thank you' and leave. - V.
You could always just steal the car. - J.
Alison mulled that over in her head for a few seconds. Then she decided that Jonah was a moron and that stealing an expensive looking car would get her caught faster than turning herself in. But, there wasn't any harm in taking whatever was in the car. Well, no harm for her at least. Carefully listening for any activity in the barn, Alison tip toed over to the car and peaked inside the window. All she could see was a doll in the back seat.
Jesus. That isn't totally creepy at all. Wait, that doll kind of looks like...
Alison stopped that train of thought in it's tracks. She couldn't think about... her right now, not when she was barely holding it together as it was. She went to open the door, slightly surprised to find it unlocked, and looked around for anything useful. Deciding to check the glove box, she jumped when a driver's license fell down to the floor. Picking it up she abruptly felt her blood turn to ice as her stomach plummeted through the floor of the car.
Emily Fields.
Everything suddenly came flooding back as Emily's face stared up at her from the card. Her fear of being caught, her flattery at Emily's devotion, her anger at Emily's boldness, all of her delusions and anxiety came rushing back so fast that she found it hard to breath. Oh fuck not another panic attack, please not now Alison thought desperately. Attempting to calm herself down, Alison opened the car door and stumbled into the fresh air, taking a deep breath and immediately wrinkling her nose as an acrid, gaseous stench hit her.
The barn.
Alison was taken over by a panic so intense she was surprised she didn't immediately die of a heart attack. She knew of people who tried to kill themselves in their garages by leaving the car running, and there was no way to tell how long Emily had been in there, if she was in there at all. She felt her phone go off, but it was ignored as she raced toward the barn. The door was heavy, but she barely noticed as the adrenaline pumping through her system guided her movements. As light spilled into the cramped space, Alison looked around wildly for any sign of Emily. She first noticed the running car, and nearly tripped over the body at her feet.
Oh god. Oh, fucking hell.
Alison was gripped by a severe terror that ripped through her body leaving her nearly destroyed. She reached down and grabbed Emily, grunting at the effort of dragging her full weight. She pulled her away until she was exhausted, collapsing in the grass a ways away from the barn. The smell of the gas clung to her hair and clothing. Reaching out, she didn't notice how badly her hand was shaking as she searched for a heartbeat, looked for a sign that Emily was breathing, a pulse, anything that showed signs of life. She finally saw Emily's chest rise shallowly, and the relief that Alison felt made her gasp aloud.
A million questions hit her at once. Did A know where she was? Did A tell Jonah to send her here? Did Emily even know how she got there? Alison wanted to cry. She was so sure that Emily was safer, that they were all safer now that she was gone and A had calmed down. They had always been about threats and cryptic messages, she had never seen A actively try to kill someone. She should have known not to be hopeful. Was this A finally getting her revenge? By taking away the most precious thing to her?
Her phone went off again. Alison snarled.
"Fuck off, Jonah." She hissed. Her eyes went wide when the sound of her voice caused Emily to shift in her lap. Her eyes opened, and Alison stared into the eyes of the girl she was supposed to leave behind. Her eyes were unfocused, and Emily looked around in what Alison assumed was confusion. She suddenly started to panic.
What are you doing? You're supposed to be dead, remember?! Her consciousness screamed. But it was too late to back out now. Alison was finally holding Emily after what felt like a hundred years, and she wasn't keen on letting go just yet. Her heart started beating wildly as Emily's eyes finally focused on her, widening in surprise and confusion, her brain not quite processing what she was seeing.
"It's okay, you're with me now," Alison said. Except there wasn't anything remotely okay about the situation they were in, except for the fact that Emily was alive.
"Alison," Emily whispered, almost reverently. If she wasn't already sitting down, Alison was sure her knees would have buckled from the sound of Emily's voice, her face, her eyes, her everything. She was so gorgeous, so innocent and she was looking at Alison like she was the only thing that mattered. Except, Alison didn't deserve to be looked at like that by anyone. Especially not her. She felt her eyes become blurry with tears.
"I missed you so much, Emily. I think I missed you the most." As Emily attempted to sit up, Alison gently held her down.
"Rest. It's what you need." If Emily kept looking at her like that, she might just explode.
"I never told you this, but... you were always my favourite. Nobody loved me as much as you did." She wished Emily knew how much she meant those words. She just never had the courage to say them out loud because people would look at her wrong. Alison felt briefly disgusted. Those problems seemed so far away now, so small that she was amazed she ever worried about them in the first place. If she was just less of a bitch, none of this would have ever happened and she could be living a life of bliss. When everyone else was afraid of her, she always felt that Emily was the only one who really cared about her as a person, and not a status symbol.
"Is this what dying is?" Emily asked, and Alison felt like laughing. It surely felt like she was dying because soon, Alison would have to leave Emily all over again.
"That bitch thinks this is what you really want. To be completely free of A."
"Do you know who A is?"
"Of course I do." At least, she had a strong inkling of who it was.
"You have to tell me," Emily said. Alison was starting to get nervous, Emily was becoming more and more lucid and soon she would realize that she wasn't dreaming.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why?" Emily breathed.
"Because, two can only keep a secret, if one of them is dead." Emily's eyes started to flutter as she slowly started to lose her grip on consciousness again. Alison felt old feelings of possessiveness rise to the surface. The last thing she wanted to do was leave Emily again, but she knew that she couldn't stay. As much as she hated to say it, she wasn't sure that being with Emily again was worth the fallout from her being discovered alive and all of her lies coming to the surface.
"Sweet Emily..." Leaning down, Alison pressed a feather light kiss against Emily's lips. They were so soft, and Alison felt slightly nostalgic as she tasted Emily's lip gloss. She always wore something fruity, normally strawberry or orange, her favourite flavours.
"You have to decide what you want, Emily. You can stay here... or you can come with me," Alison said, feeling more selfish than she ever had. But, the way that Emily was looking at her, like she was an angel or a dream come to life... she had to want this too on some level, right? Alison decided quickly, turning her phone on and sending a text to Jonah. She just hoped that Emily would forgive her.
Hanna had never felt so terrible in her life. Which was saying something, considering the torture -A had been putting all of them through. After she told Isabel before the wedding service about her father's affair with his ex-wife, her mother, the look he gave her as he turned to leave made her feel less than an inch tall. The fact that there was no accusation in his gaze, only sorrow and disappointment made her feel like impaling herself on the church steeple. She turned, momentarily distracted as she heard her phone go off.
457 Grover Rd. -A.
Hanna frowned in confusion, until her brain jumped into gear and she was suddenly reminded of a text that -A had sent her earlier. Feeling guilty and slightly nauseous, she opened her inbox and read over the other text from her tormentor.
She's about to run out of air. -A.
Oh god, she thought. Is this about Dr. Sullivan? Emily? Fuck. Fuckity fuck. Quickly rushing out of the back room she had previously used to spill her dad's secret to Isabel, she made a bee-line for Spencer and Aria, her anxiety levels rising when she realized that Emily hadn't yet arrived. Grabbing both of their arms, she pulled them outside.
"Whoa!" Spencer exclaimed. "Where's the fire?"
"The fire," Hanna replied, leading them to a secluded corner behind the church,"is right here." She shoved her phone into Spencer's face. Swiftly reading over the words in front of her, her face paled as the intention behind them was made clear. Unnerved by Spencer's reaction, Aria grabbed the phone from Hanna's hands and read the text over. Her eyes widened.
"You don't think that means..." She began.
"No. No way," Spencer interrupted quickly, a little bit in denial. "-A's messed with us before. There's a chance that they're screwing with us again."
"Do you really want to take that chance, Spence?" Hanna retorted. "Listen. A few minutes before I got that message, -A sent me an address. It might be where Emily is."
"But why would -A give us that information? Aria asked. "Why would they help us?"
"They aren't really helping us if they're the reason Emily's not here in the first place," Spencer sighed. "But I think it's worth investigating."
"Who are we, Inspector Gadget?" Hanna replied derisively. "Why don't you just call her phone?"
"I already tried that when you were gone," Aria replied. "It rang a few times then went to her voice mail." Her voice lowered and took on an anxious tone. "Guys, I really think she's in trouble."
"Calm down. This could just be about Dr. Sullivan," Hanna pointed out.
"And that makes it better?" Spencer replied angrily.
"I'm just saying-"
"Guys, stop," Aria intervened. "Regardless of who -A is talking about, we should see wherever this address leads. I'm not willing to take any chances on this."
"Alright, alright," Hanna conceded. "But if this is a trap, I'm totally saying I told you so."
Hanna had no idea how she let this happen. One second they were looking for Emily or signs of Dr. Sullivan, and the next they're covered head to toe in filth and sitting in the police station. All they ended up finding was a shovel and a set of coordinates, which led them to a total set up by -A and got them arrested. The minute they had started digging she should have known that something was off. But seeing that tube in the ground, she had lost all reason and started digging with Aria and Spencer. They were all gasping and letting out cries of horror as they slowly uncovered what she was worried was a grave, and were then greeted by a swarm of police officers and a helicopter which blinded them with a search light.
Man, she was really starting to hate the cops in this town.
She glared up at the two way screen at the other end of the interrogation room, knowing that Garrett was probably watching on the other side. She tried in vain to wipe some some of the filth off of her hands, but only succeeded in spreading most of the dirt around. She stared at the screen again, picturing Garrett's smirking face and began to throw herself into a rage. Spencer, noticing the signs of a Hanna-meltdown, placed her hand on Hanna's arm and shook her head; getting angry wouldn't help them right now. Hanna didn't think it could get any worse. One of her best friends was missing and there was the ever-present risk of being sent to jail.
And then Detective Wilden walked into the room.
"Did you miss me?" He asked, a creepy self-satisfied smirk on his face. Hanna felt like bashing his skull into the table. He was supposed to be fired. He was gone.
"This doesn't just look bad, it is bad," he began, and the three girls felt the beginning feelings of dread settle into their stomachs. "Homicide is a capital offence in the state of Pennsylvania, and you girls are going down." He paused for what Hanna assumed was dramatic effect. God, she hated this guy.
"When Alison DiLaurentis was murdered she was hit in head so hard that it made an indentation in her skull. I've given you guys so many chances to just be honest with me, but evidence doesn't lie." Hanna shifted uncomfortably. She wasn't Alison's biggest fan, but she was one of her best friends and hearing what had happened to her was jarring.
Alison always seemed so untouchable.
"We've known all along what the murder weapon was. Tonight we caught you with it." Wilden turned to the other officer in the room and took the shovel from his hands, which was contained in a see through bag used for preserving evidence. Hanna felt like she was about to fly off the handle and go straight for Wilden's throat. A girl can only be accused of murdering one of her best friends so many times before she starts to lose it. The smirk from the detective's face was gone, replaced with a glare so intense Hanna almost felt like wilting under it. He suddenly switched topics.
"I can't help but notice that one of you is missing," he began casually, as if talking about the weather. "Where's the fourth musketeer?" Hanna considered lying to him, but she had no idea what to say. None of them knew what to say, and if they made up some lie about Emily being somewhere else and were proven wrong, they would be in even more trouble.
"...We don't know," Spencer said hesitantly. Aria looked at her in surprise, likely expecting that she would tell him some sort of fabricated story.
"Well I do. I think that your friend committed the murder. I think that you're covering for her, and I think that-" Just as Wilden was about to continue on his rant, an officer came into the room.
"Detective, you're needed outside," he said.
"Not now, I'm a little occupied," he replied in annoyance. The other officer looked at him uncomfortably.
"It's important," he urged. Wilden looked at him expectantly.
"It's.. about page five of the DiLaurentis autopsy," He said quietly. Wilden's eyes widened slightly.
"Stay there. I'll be right back," he said in an eerily calm way before leaving the room with the other officer. The three girls let out sighs of relief at finally being left alone. Aria spoke up first.
"Why the hell did you say that?" She demanded, looking at Spencer accusingly.
"Well what was I supposed to say?" Spencer returned angrily.
"You didn't have to say anything!" Aria said, a little too loudly. Hanna shushed the two of them.
"Be quiet!" She hissed. "We're still being watched."
"Well excuse me if I wanted to tell the truth for once," Spencer whisper-shouted. "What were we supposed to say? That Emily's with her parents in Texas? That she's busy? Or maybe that she's sun tanning in Aruba!" Aria continued to glare at her. "They've probably already called her parents. What are we supposed to say when they get here?" Aria finally conceded with a weary sigh. Hanna spoke up in an attempt to remedy the situation.
"Listen, guys, all they have on us is that shovel. That's not enough to put us in jail... is it?" She said, looking at Spencer.
"What are you looking at me for?"
"Duh, you're the one with the big-shot lawyer mom! Say something!" Spencer rolled her eyes.
"I don't know, it's not like I sit in on my mom's court cases," she said sarcastically. "But you're right. The evidence is completely circumstantial." Hanna looked at her expectantly.
"Well? What does that mean?"
"It means that we can't be directly linked to the murder. Everything that Wilden is going on is based in theories and speculation. My mom will probably be able to get it all thrown out." Spencer's brows furrowed. "It's so weird how obsessed he is with Ali's murder, though. One of our alive friends is missing and he's making it all about her."
"Maybe he's just a shitty cop," Hanna said sardonically. Spencer noticed that Aria had begun to stare into space.
"What's the matter?" She asked. "Aria?" She gently shook the dark haired girl's arm, breaking her from her trance.
"W-what?" Spencer and Hanna looked at her worriedly. "It's really nothing... just, do you think that -A could have kidnapped her?" Hanna's face softened, noticing that Aria was on the brink of tears. Spencer however, had less tact.
"We're talking about the same -A that ran Hanna over with a car and forced us to do terrible things that we didn't want to do. I think they're capable of anything." Hanna elbowed her in the arm, nodding towards Aria who was now beginning to cry.
"Oh jeez, um, I mean, I'm sure that Emily's fine. She's smart. Intuitive." Spencer was beginning to look decidedly uncomfortable.
"Way to go, Spence," Hannah barbed.
"It's not her fault," Aria said, wiping away the tear tracks which had left clear trails through the dirt on her face. "I knew one of us should have gone with her. She never got a doll in that box, -A could still be targeting her!"
"-A already targeted her!" Hanna shot back heatedly. "... Hasn't she been through enough?" She finished, sounding miserable. As she watched detective Wilden come back through the door and lean over the table, Hanna knew that this night was far from over.
She just hoped that Emily was somewhere safe.
A/N: Well, that's the end of chapter one. This is mostly a filler chapter, the real stuff starts soon. So uh, you know, stick around or whatever. (I'm not very convincing, sorry.)
Also, just an FYI for anyone who isn't familiar with the name, Jonah is not technically an OC. He was used on the show as an informant to Vivian, I'm just using his character for the purpose of the story. I just feel like Ali needs a friend who isn't someone she is manipulating like Noel.
