I wonder if she would be able to forgive me.

She knew that Rose, in all her boundless compassion and love, would always deserve better than her. Because she recognized that persistent selfishness that had always left her feeling incomplete; that she was flawed.

"My beautiful, perfect Pearl," Rose had said.

Perfect.

She was far from perfect. But Rose had already surpassed it. And she wondered if their ethereal leader had known. What happened to a being that transcended the plane of universal error? That did not succumb to the earthly desires or toxins of their world?

According to Rose, they continued to exist and spread their perfection to those around them – one of the reasons Pearl had always been able to cope with herself.

Rose made her feel as if the stars moved with her natural gravity.

Now she worried that the endless void of space would simply swallow her up, and there would be nothing left but stardust.

On nights when the summer weather was dormant and pleasantly warm, Pearl would leave the house. The head of the Temple hardly resembled the hill she remembered from that certain evening, but she still felt the rush of heat and nostalgia wash over her every time she watched Rose's eyes gaze calmly down at her, felt their fingers intertwine.

Sometimes, they danced.

Her gem would glow.

At that point the hologram would take on a life of its own and Rose's gem would light up as well, capturing the delicate curves of her face and the sharp contours of Pearl's.

"My Pearl," she would whisper, in flawless sync with Rose's lips. "I'm so happy."

It was everything to her — to be able to see Rose so happy.

But then they would reach the climax of their dance, and before Pearl could let herself dissolve into Rose's arms, the other would vanish, leaving a devastating sense of loss in her place.

She started to wonder if something was wrong with her. Garnet and Amethyst had moved on. And, yes, neither of them were exactly the same, but they were content with their lives. There was nothing wrong with that.

So why, why, did Pearl feel so empty?

All she needed was to hear Rose's voice.

To hear that she was doing well.

That everything would be okay.

To finally say goodbye, because the day of Steven's birth, Pearl had sat quietly in the lobby and waited. The eloquence she had once prided herself on had deserted her, leaving her choking on air and fumbling for the right words. What could she possibly say to a woman on the verge of giving up everything? Good luck? Safe journey? Thank you?

I love you?

Did she love Rose? Pearl knew little on the subject. Ruby and Sapphire, the gems she had known before Garnet, had shared an unmatched, unconditional love for each other. But she was not stupid, and watching the chemistry between them was far different from experiencing it herself.

For Pearl, chemistry was the explosive reaction of two fiercely magnetic elements engaged in a waltz macabre, fighting for dominance until the electricity between them spilled over into the external world.

The passionate, raging fire that ignited within her when she so much as glanced at Rose seemed to suggest the same.

It threatened to engulf her, and yet she wondered at times if she had been wrong to repress it — if Rose had ever returned that passion, if only for a fractured heartbeat.

But that was the thing about regret, she supposed. It didn't matter, because she had been too late.