A/N: After doing a few romance one-shots, I'm throwing in a piece from the genre after my own heart: humor. Go ahead and read it; I'm not going to say anything any more...for the moment that is.After all,you wouldn't want me to give away the punchline, would you? (grin)

EDITEI (10th Feb 2006): After looking through my fics posted up here, I noticed that many of the 'silences' in this one shot were, in fact, missing. Horrors! (cue scary music) After attempting to correct it, I realized that this site didn't support the way I had originally written the 'dot dot dot' in, hence why they were missing in the fiction. So I editted them in a way that they would appear in the fiction and clear up some of the confusion. Also, since no more than 3 dots were allowed in a row, I had to separate most of them with a space in between. Made me a bit dotty, but at least this one shot was corrected and reposted in the way it originally should have been.


Decipher( also known as 'Lost in Translation')

One particularly fine day, around a random table...

A certain blond, spiky-haired, shorts sporting man stood up and stretched luxuriously. "Hey guys, wanna go out and catch a bite or something?"

"One doesn't 'catch a bite', Zell, " in a reproving tone of voice.

"Awww, Quistis..."

"Yea, with you it's more like 'catch breakfast, lunch and dinner' then go back for more."

"Who asked you, wise ass?"

"Zell, Irvine..." warningly.

"He started it!"

"Well, he accused me of having a bottomless stomach!"

"It's true, isn't it?"

"Why you little-"

-"..."-

Three figures paused; one in the act of punching the other's nose, one in the middle of punching back, and one ready to bodily separate the two if need be.

In hushed tones, "...Did you hear that?"

"Certainly did. Quistis?"

Quistis glanced over at her Lionheart-wielding student. "I suppose."

"It went '...', didn't it?"

"Quick!" Zell made a grab for Quistis' pocket. "The translator!"

FHWAP!

"Ouch..."

With the fingers of an expert, Quistis flipped through the pages of the mini dictionary, which was as thick as a thumb placed horizontally while two heads, one sporting a considerably large bump peered over her shoulder.

"Let's see; '..', '... ...', '... ... .' ...aha! '...' " Reading aloud, " means 'not disagreeable with suggestion given but neither too inclined with it either.'"

"Isn't that '... ..'?"

"No, that's 'completely not interested.'"

"Wait, how sure are you it was '...'?"

"I'm telling you, I distinctly heard three dots. Right, Quistis?"

"Well..."

"How reliable is this thing anyway?"

Flames began to rise behind Quistis. " Are you doubting my research, Zell?"

Quaking, "No, ma'am."

"Besides, this is Rinoa's given information. She'd have the most insight of Squall's silences."

-"... ..."-

"Wait! Six dots this time!"

More hurried turning of pages.

" Erm...'What the hell are you guys doing?'...How did this 'hell' enter this book, Irvine?"

"Errr, well, ehehe..."

-"... ...!"-

"Oh right." Turning to Squall cheerfully, "We're deciphering your silences!"

-"... ... .."-

"You have to admit, it makes communication a lot easier..."

"Communication ..." a muffled snort of laughter.

FHWAP!

Quistis ignored Zell's yelps as she explained, "You have to admit this Silence Dictionary is very useful, right Squall?"

Silence.

"Squall?"

-"... ... ... ..."-

"Eh?" Two heads swivelled to Quistis.

"Hold on...Still looking..." Quistis flipped until the last page in the translator. "...Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely nothing on this. I suppose its an unrecorded silence."

"Unrecorded silence..."

"Shut up, Zell."

"Well then, I suppose we'll have to ask Mister Silent himself." Irvine walked over to Squall and grinned. "Mind explaining what that was?"

"It means," Squall said very clearly and succinctly, " That you have precisely twelve seconds to run."

SHING!

Twelve seconds later...

"SQUALL, ol' buddy, pant you wouldn't really KILL us...would you?"

-"... .."-

"Is that a 'yes'?"

"Just shut up and RUN, you imbecile!"

"I guess he really didn't like the dictionary idea..."