Never Say Never Ever

My first fan fiction;inspired by TrekFan24905!

Disclaimer- Star Trek is owned by those Big Guys and I take inspiration from the characters they created. This is just for fun!

The crew gossiped about it for weeks; they couldn't believe what they saw with their own eyes or those who didn't see it were eager to listen to the whole telling of the tale many times over. Miss Chapel had pantsed Mr Spock at the pool after being dared to by her buddies, Uhura and Rand! It was a tale that refused to die and it was beginning to tell on Mr Spock's patience as he began to wear his poker face all the time and even refused to cock his able eyebrow as snickers followed him everywhere he went on the ship. He wasn't safe from the gossips as he went about his daily business, the Rec Room, the Mess hall, even the bridge at times was unbearable as Sulu and Chekov openly joked about the dangers of the swimming; he had not put in an appearance at the pool since and everyone noticed. Even Jim couldn't keep a straight face at times and he began to wonder if it would ever die down.

Bad enough he had been pantsed, but the large size of the crowd filled disproportionately with female crew members ensured that descriptions of his genitals was the main topic of the fact that Miss Chapel showed no signs of remorse in her actions and was even enjoying a bit of notoriety amongst the crew made the situation a bit more sensitive than he desired. Unable to even consider putting her under disciplinary action, for how would he explain this to his parents, made the situation more aggravating. Jim kept telling him to show a little humour about it, it was just in fun, but since Spock had trouble at times understanding the concept of fun, it puzzled him why being exposed in this manner or even the newest rash of skinny dipping (why do they call it that if not all people who do it are not thin?) in the pool, was considered a rite of passage then why was it acceptable behavior amongst adult humans?

He sought out McCoy, for even as the most eccentric of those in his circle, McCoy quite often was able to make a plausible explanation of the issue; even though the cutting edge of his wit tended to be directed at Spock too often for him to feel comfortable most of the time, McCoy was very good at psychology and was able to explain the strangest behaviors in a professional manner, when the desire so struck him. So it was this ability that brought them to be walking the corridors where the chance of the conversation being overheard was less likely.

"Ya'See here Spock, it's not about trying to embarass you it's about trying to make you a member of the group!" MCCoy said exhasperatedly, "You walk around with that dignity stick up your butt and sometimes we'all just want to yank it out and bring you back down to our level!"

Spock raised an eyebrow "So McCoy, it is about teamwork? Are you saying that removing my dignity by stealing my trunks in full view of a large compliment of the ship's crew makes them all feel better about working with me? I do not believe it is true because my lab assistants have had deplorable results since the incident by the pool; they continue to make mistakes I would expect of a child"

McCoy rolled his eyes "Dammit Spock! It just makes you seem more human! Can't you understand that most of this crew just cannot see past that blank mask you show them and realize there is a Person behind it or is that just too difficult for you to understand!?" McCoy was losing his patience with the green hobgoblin once again and it was beginning to show

"Can't you just take it as the rest of them and accept that for once they are actually gossiping about you and relaxing around you rather than running terrified out the door when you make an appearance! Give it a break! Soon they'll be gossiping about someone else, it never takes long! The longer you try to act like it didn't happen the worse they will get"

Just as McCoy was gathering speed for a full blown tirade they both heard the voices coming from around the bend of the corridor. Spock recognized one as being one of the Ensigns assigned to his current experiment in Lab 3.

"I tell you I was sitting right beside where Mr Spock was standing when Nurse Chappel pantsed him! I saw EVERYTHING! Right at eye level too! And all I can say is 'Wow", whoever gets in his pants for real is gonna have a very happy time!"

"Really? So the rumour is true? He's a Show-er not a Grow-er!? Why didn't Chapel know the answer?"

"Oh, I overheard her telling Uhura and Rand she didn't even think to look she just wanted to get his trunks off and out of there before he had a chance to realize what was going on and grabbed her! Oh and Definately a Show-er! I tell you, I couldn't take my eyes off it, it's even coloured...EEP"

Face to face with Spock and McCoy now, the two Ensigns blushed bright red, speechless, as Spock raised his eyebrow up. They quickly scooted around the Officers and ran down the corridor as fast as they could go. Spock turned to look at McCoy

"Show-er?"

McCoy grinned "I'll tell you what it means later Spock. As for..."

At this moment they passed the entryway for the exercise deck and Spock could not help but notice Nurse Chapel standing poolside talking animatedly with her partners in crime, Rand and Uhura. Continuing on, he had an idea creep into his head. Looking at McCoy he asked,

"Don't get Mad, get Even, McCoy? Is that your prescription for this issue?"

McCoy laughed

"Sounds like a good idea Spock!" As he glanced sideways he realized that Spock was no longer beside him, he wasn't even in the corridor with him. He made it back to the entrance to the exercise room just in time to see Spock nimbly untie the two strings to Christine's Bikini top, place his hand between her shoulder blades and give her a shove that toppled her into the pool; following her in with a neat dive he came up from under the water with an amused look on his face. As Christine's screech echoed. the silence fell quickly and as every crew member present turned to see what was going on, Spock hauled himself out of the pool and waited for her to reach the side. As she reached for her swimsuit he held the two pieces in his hand out of her reach, raised his eyebrow, cocked his head and said,

"Miss Chapel, I am glad to notice that despite the rumours to the contrary, you are indeed a natural blond"

Turning around to see McCoy right behind him with his mouth agape, he handed him a scrap of material.

"I will allow you to return this to her as she should be allowed some dignity in getting out of the pool, unlike when she pantsed me" and continued out the exercise room. McCoy looked at the article in his hands and realized he held only the bottom of her suit. Tossing it to Christine, he ran after Spock and upon reaching him, Spock raised an eyebrow(damn that eyebrow!) and announced

"I believe that answers the question 'Does the carpet match the curtains?'"

McCoy was speechless as Spock continued down the corridor

"Spock you forgot to give me the rest of her suit!"

"I did not 'forget' Dr McCoy, I believe the expression is 'Posession is 9/10ths of the law'?"

McCoy raised his eyebrow