Wilf Remembers The Doctor
As Wilf sipped his coffee, he could feel his eyes brimming with tears as he recalled the last time he and the Doctor had visited the café. The Doctor had looked so tired and stressed that Wilf had deliberately cohered him into stopping for a coffee at Pablos to coincide with Donna weekly shopping trip. A foolish gesture perhaps but Wilf had desperately clung to the notion that the Doctor may have come across some new technology which would make the metacrisis thing affecting disappear and restore Donna back to the confident and happy woman she had become when she had been the doctor's companion. Wilf recalled the pain in the Doctor's voice as he explained that he was powerless to do anything
'If she ever remembers me her mind will burn and she will die' he had said. Wilf remembered that afternoon how the light had gone out in the Doctor's eyes, a sadness too deep for words lingered instead.
Wilf recalled how much he had wanted to lean over and hold the Doctor when he had told him he was going to die. Wilf could see from the expression on the Doctor's face that he was deeply afraid and upset at the prophecy bestowed upon him. Wilf knew that the Doctor was troubled but he hadn't expected that bombshell. He had listened intensely as the Doctor had explained about regeneration and death. and how the Time lord wasn't immortal or immune from change after all. The Doctor's face took on a grief struck look as he summarised his predicament
'Even if I change it feels like dying, everything that I am dies, a new man goes sauntering away and I'm dead'.
This memory still caused Wilf a lot of grief. The Doctor's explanation had been heartfelt. He had spent a lot of time since Donna's wedding worrying about the Doctor. He still felt a tremendous guilt about subjecting the doctor to all that radiation in order to rescue him, Wilf had been an extremely foolish old man and had often berated himself from making such a stupid m mistake but the Doctor had survived hadn't he? There had been something very final about their last meeting though, the Doctor had seemed different, tired and quiet. Wilf hoped to God he hadn't regenerated and that he would see him again one day, God Bless Him.
Wilf dunked his biscuit into the tepid coffee and popped it into his mouth. Though Wilf hadn't known the Doctor for long he had quickly established that for an alien, the doctor appeared to share many human traits. Wilf from the very beginning had sensed a deep loss and loneliness which emanated from him, a vulnerability, similar to Donna, which the Doctor, like Donna was unable to mask from Wilf despite the jaunty front he often presented to the world. Wilf could understand why the Doctor and his Donna had got on so well, they had been two of a kind, their friendship had been deep and caring, bound together by the quirky humour and deep compassion. Wilf and the Doctor's friendship had begun amiably enough, but as the days had got close to the Doctor's departure a strong paternal bond had developed between them, both men deriving comfort and support from each other as the chaos threatened to engulf them.
It was also now clear to Wilf that the Doctor had been carrying around a lot of emotional baggage as well as having to deal with monsters and aliens. Donna had been good for him when they had been together. She had given him great support, new direction and most importantly been there for him when he had needed a shoulder to cry on. Wilf had been very concerned about the Doctor's welfare since he had brought Donna home. He remembered Donna saying that he shouldn't travel alone, and that he needed someone to 'stop him'. Wilf had always wanted to know she had meant by this but hadn't liked to probe.
Wilf would never forget the reaction on the Doctor's face when he had asked him whether he had another companion. It was almost as if this simple question had pierced an invisible shield surrounding the Doctor, all of a sudden Wilf found himself looking at a very frightened and lonely Timelord, not quite succeeding in trying to keep it together...
"I've no-one, I'm travelling alone, I thought it would be better travelling alone. I'm totally alone, I did some things but they went wrong, I need..' The Doctor had said.
The sob which had suddenly erupted from the Doctor after this admission had slightly unhinged Wilf. Although they both had laughed the incident off, the Doctor had remained close to tears until they had left. Wilf had then understood what Donna had meant by the Doctor not travelling alone. Melancholy and loneliness was not a good thing, Wilf being widowed for the past 10 years had recognised this and had helped form the Silver Cloak Club, an active club for pensioners. Wilf wondered whether the Doctor had found another companion yet. If he had been a few decades younger, he would have offered to become the Doctor's permanent companion but the escapades involving the Master and The Time lords had knocked the stuffing out of him. He simply didn't have the energy anymore, particularly now that Donna was happily married and living the life of luxury since her lottery win. God Bless Donna, she had bought him a brand new state of the art telescope to gaze at the stars with. It was so clever, it even took pictures. Wilf wondered whether he would ever see the blue Police Box again hurtling around the heavens above. Somehow he doubted it. The tears began to fall fast down Wilf's face. 'Silly old man', he whispered to himself as he got up. He found his hanky and wiped the tears briskly away before leaving the café. Too many memories, only a person who had lived a lifetime and more would understand, like the Doctor. Wilf then realised the deep bond between him and his Donna's Doctor was impenetrable.
