AN: This is a translation from a fic I wrote in swedish.
He sees her in front of himself. Every time he closes his eyes she's there. Sometimes she smiles. Sometimes she laughs. Sometimes she's scared. Sometimes she cries. He sees here every time. He loves to watch her. But it costs him a lot. He would much rather hold her. Hold her against himself. Feel her body against his. Her heart beating along with his. But he doesn't dare. He's seen the sun reflections in her hair. He's seen her eyes compete with the stars for the most glow. He's seen the moon play on her skin. He's seen the wind stroke her hair. He's seen her when she falls. Most of all he just want to catch her before she hits the ground. But he can't go that close. He's seen her stumble and fall in life. He's been wanting to reach out his hand to her and pull her up again. Whip her tears when she's having a hard time. Hold her close and protect her against the world that tries to hurt her. But he can't. There's always someone else. Someone that's by her side for real. He himself looks at her from a distance, can't make himself move any closer. She's strong while he's to weak. He's been trying. He's been calling her. She's answered and he's been hearing her voice. But he's never been able to say something. He's been listening to her. To her sweet delicate voice. He smooth breath. But he's never shown her that he's there. He doesn't dare. She is the light to him. Darkness is surrounding him. An endless darkness that never leaves. It frightens him. Frightens him even more than he wants to admit. It's always there. Darkness and loneliness. It's just him. No one else. He stands alone and fights to keep himself floating. He does everything he can think of. Stronger stuff all the time, just to stay floating. He'd almost given up. He'd almost let the darkness take him. But then he saw her. He saw the light in her eyes, in her soul. And he knew he had to keep on fighting. He threw all the substances. With her eyes he didn't need anything artificial. She was pure light. He wants to tell her. Tell her how she lightened up his darkness. But he can't. She's the light whilst he's the darkness. He's seen so much evil. Things that no man should see. And it's left marks in him. He's seen and heard what people should be spared from, what she should be spared from. He doesn't want to get close to her whit fear of dragging her down to the darkness that's always lurking on him. And besides, he knows that she already has someone else beside her. Someone to keep her afloat. Cause even if knows that she keeps him alive, he knows that she too needs someone by her side. He's seen it in her eyes when she cries. He's seen the man she keeps by her side. The man that's always there. He is where he is cause there's where he's needed. She needs him. She who is the light. She who is hope. She who is salvation. He wants to go to her. Hold her hand. Stroke her cheek and feel her warmth. He wants so much, but dares so little. Instead he stays in his studio and keeps on painting her pictures.
