"Roger, what's April Fool's Day?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"How come we don't celebrate it here, Roger?"

"..."

And so the tradition began.

--

The first year, Mello sawed halfway through Near's chair legs. Near prudently swapped seats with Matt before class, the redhead suddenly disappearing under the desk with a snap and a squawk mid-lesson.

At lunchtime, Near slipped three times the recommended dose of laxatives into Mello's mug of cocoa. When the latter finally emerged from the bathroom, simmering with indignant wrath, it was Near who inquired solicitously into the state of Mello's health.

--

Exactly one year later, Mello gleefully tie-dyed every last one of Near's shirts.

Near crept into his rival's room that night and waxed the blond's eyebrows right off.

Mello stamped around for weeks afterwards, looking like nothing so much as an incredibly surprised chicken, swearing bloody vengeance on Near to anyone unlucky enough to be within earshot.

--

When the fateful day came around once more, Mello shoved Near into the deepest part of Wammy's lake and rowed serenely back to shore. Near didn't even need to pull a prank in retaliation for that one; upon his damp and shivering return to the manor, he was fussed over and cossetted and mothered like never before. Mello, meanwhile, was sent to his room in disgrace, not to emerge again until he had handwritten a thousand lines of I shall not recklessly endanger the lives of other students in silly practical jokes.

--

The next year, Roger banned any celebration of April Fool's Day whatsoever.

He hadn't accounted for Halloween.


Oh, Mello, I dearly love you, but you cannot win against Near's skillz.

R&R or NEAR WILL PRANK YOU MUAHAHHAHAHAHA D

(and I still loathe Near for all eternity etc etc etc ¬.¬)

~Featherz