(Twilight is good for you! This was written by me, a friend and a couple of online friends. Some repeat, which I'm sorry about. It WAS a group job though, so it should be expected that we ended up thinking of used ideas... Enjoy.

Twilight has taught me that...

1. Skipping school is cool. Especially if your going to hang with a stalker!

2. Vampires don't burn in the sunlight. People thought they did because what they were seeing was in fact their eyes burning from the sparkles vampires give out.

3. Thunder? It's not real! Vampires create thunder by playing baseball.

4. Even in the 2000's, woman must do all the housework and cleaning AND rely on the man to do all the actual work, like earning money.

5. If you ever have a couple of nice kids wanting to be your boy/girlfriend, TURN THEM DOWN. Instead, wait for your local vampire to be attracted to your smell.

6. If you can't find true love, die, it's best to become undead. It's WAAAY more attractive, trust me.

7. Always look for the richest vampire. If you think your useless, it helps to act like a idiot

8. Go for the person who calls you weak and insecure, not the one who says your cool and strong

9. When your boy/girlfriend tries to lock you in their house before leaving town, (trust me, this happens) go ride out with your childhood friend and then come back to them sobbing when they return.

10. It's okay to be selfish cheat on your girl/boyfriend, even if your break their heart. Remember, their never gonna give you up, no matter what happens.

11. Your family is not important. Break their hearts all you want, because after you graduate, you'll never see them again.

12. Vampires can do things no one else can. Their powers do not run in the family, and it's impossible to gain these powers threw any logical way such as science.

13. If your boy/girlfriend leaves you, curl up, with your head resting gently on your knees. Don't forget to hold your own hand and put them in front of your legs. Then, Bawl your eyes out.

14. Young adult fiction: It's not just for young adults. After all, Twilight can be enjoyed by everyone ages 2.6- 9000. (Sorry those who are over 9000!)

15. When your have a child, make sure your childhood friend isn't there or they might get unofficial married to your child if the kid is the opposite gender.

16. The only road to being a vamp is to get married to one. Sorry if you wanted to be bitten, but it won't happen.

17. If your dating a vampire, it's normal for them to control you and make sure you don't have sex until your married.

18. Giving birth to a vampire is painful. It will tear you apart. But the majority of the pain is really your happiness for bringing the child into the world!

19. Two words: Clumsy=Cute. Think about it, when you drop all your books, your crush will always be the one to help you up and carry your books for you!

20. Fighting with your husband if not ever going to happen. After all, you married him for his looks fact he never gets into fights with you!

21. If someone looks good to you, your in love!

22. Your boyfriend loves you. Even if you leave him and he leaves you, you'll always be together. Awwww. Awwww....

23. People who stalk you are indeed safe to be around. Stranger danger is not applicable to those who watch you sleep.

24. Even though it was stated a gazillion times that vampires and humans cannot possibly have babies, exceptions are made when it is 'true love'

25. Glittery vampires, are vampires too

26. Just because you think someone jumped off a cliff, means you should most definitely go to the most powerful group of vampires and tell them to kill you, and at the same time get everyone who cares about you involved to be killed as well.

27. If you want to get away from everyone you know and care about, move to some cold snowy place! Nobody lives there!

28. Remember that all werewolves are native American. So if you see one on the streets, feel free to ask what their fur color is. (I'm not being racist.)

29. It's okay to fall in love with a baby, that ain't creepy at all!

30. Don't worry, if you're in love with someone, it is physically impossible to die. Fall in love with two people, especially if they are a vampire and a werewolf, and your even safer!

31. Betraying people that supported you while you were down is okay, as long the bastard that dumped you wants you back.

32. What is the safest and fastest way to brake up with a girl? Leave in the middle of the forest after you say she is not worth you.

33. Having no real friends is okay, because who needs them when you have your very own sparkly, stone skinned telepathic vampire?

34. The greatest way to ensure love is to jump off a cliff, that way when you save your sparklepire lover from killing himself, he is shirtless.

35. All the cool guys wear body glitter now, so make sure you get your special someone a gift card to bath&body works.

36. its super-duper awesome when you get dumped, and go to your best friend as a distraction, then leave him as soon as your boyfriend comes back. It plays on their heart-strings, ladies.

37. When you try to attract a guy, make sure you keep your voice clear of emotions and personality. Its the bland girls they like.

38. Werewolves are NOT child friendly.

39. Paper cuts are terribly dangerous. Don't ever get one, 'cause then every vampire in the world will try to eat you.

40. A great way to name your child is to combine you're real mom who raised you's name and some random vampire chick's name whom you've just met. Renesmee, isn't it beautiful? *eyeroll*

41. Your sparkly-pire will always know where you are. It's in inborn sense.

42. (for guys) By sprinkling yourself with glitter and wearing red eye contacts, you instantly have every girl in the world chasing you.

43. All vampires play baseball. Should you ever become one, you must be sure that you know this sport.