I love Lemony Snicket, and his whole idea of the Baudelaire series, and so I have decided to do my first non-Zelda fanfic on his work. This does involve maybe some romance, but it should be more about mystery and adventure. I will try to write like Lemony does, serious with a tone of sadness and regret in his voice. It isn't like me, but I will try my best. I'll be writing as if I was Lemony Snicket myself, so it'll be a guy narrating instead. I don't own this series, or Lemony Snicket, or anything to do with this series. This is book one, but I will try and make multiple books if I can get my Zelda fanfics done.
For Beatrice:
The fire that sparked my love for you grew
But a different kind of fire ended you
As the unfortunate events of the Baudelaire orphans has been recorded through a series of 13 books, those unfortunate events were the end of the end. That isn't to say that the end of the end really meant the end of the Baudelaire misfortunes, because it really didn't. Now however, it is a new era of the beginning of the beginning, as it is the beginning of Beatrice's experiences as growing from a baby to a full fledged woman.
If you had read even one of the unfortunate books that had probably made you cry, you would see in the beginning that I would warn you to put down that book and find something cheerful to read. Although I was only trying to save you from the horrifying misfortunes that would cloud your mind and give you nightmares, this book is no different. Over the course of this book, I am deeply sorry to announce that you will experience an extremely bad sea storm, a tedious trial, a shocking secret, a wretched waiter, a deadly disaster, a notebook full of notorious secrets, and a aggravating agent.
If I were you, I would put down this book right now and find something much more cheerful to read. For example, there is a book called Sleeping Beauty,and it's about this girl who unfortunately pricks her finger on the spinning wheel and falls into a deep sleep. Well, she has a happily ever after when the prince comes to rescue her, and there is a cause for celebration. In this book however, there is no happily ever after or a cause for celebration. Day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year, the Baudelaire orphans continue to have misfortunes, and now they have passed it down to Beatrice. So go read Sleeping Beauty and have happy dreams of rainbows and sunshine, and put down this wretched book full of woe while you still can.
If you have ever been in a situation where one would simply advise not to "rock the boat", it is because there is a conflict that must be solved. The term "rock the boat" has nothing to do with rocking, or even boats for that matter. Instead it has to do with stirring up trouble.
For example, once I had tea with two ladies who always bickered, and I didn't want to choose a side and look like a bad friend. If I had, I would've certainly been "rocking the boat", which would've lost me a valuable friend. Luckily, I went on to sip my tea and have a grand ole time discussing happy things in life. It took their minds off of the conflict and it made them feel happier.
"Rocking the boat" was certainly used literally in the case of the three Baudelaire orphans, and their newest baby orphan, Beatrice Snicket. Beatrice was of course, not the actual baby of Violet, because Violet was entirely too young to have a baby, but the three youngsters had the responsibility of taking care of her after her mother died. Kit Snicket was an amazing sister of intelligence and beauty, but she alas did not survive the pain of both childbirth and being in pain from the sea storm that had carried her to the Baudelaire orphans.
Of course in this case, "rocking the boat" doesn't figuratively mean to rock the boat, it literally meant it in this situation. Violet, Klaus, Sunny, and Beatrice were all in the same boat, sitting and pondering about what misfortunes lie ahead as they headed towards their unknown they sailed on the seas, the clouds that loomed over them were gray, signaling that a storm was going to come. The boat that they managed to build on the island wasn't very sturdy, and they were unsure whether they could survive the storm or not.
If you've ever been in a sea storm, it is a most unpleasant experience. Even if you survive, you still toss and turn at night having nightmares about terrifying sea monsters, and the roaring sound of the waves as they crash down onto your boat, ripping out every last board until you have no boat and you are stranded in the island. Long before the Baudelaire orphans were born, I once knew a captain of a boat that experienced such a terrible storm, and he still has nightmares about it today. However, it is an even more unpleasant experience to experience a sea storm twice, which was exactly what the four youngsters were faced with. It started to pour, and then thunder and lightning came. Soon, the waves started to stir crazily, and it caused the boat to rock very harshly.
As Violet, Klaus, Sunny, and Beatrice held on for dear life to each other, they cried as they got jostled around during the storm. I will save you the miserable pain of reading just how frightening and painful the storm was to them, as Violet, Klaus, and Sunny experienced it for a second time. This was Beatrice's first time, however I am sad to report that it wouldn't be her last. She cried and clung onto her three caretakers, as they hoped for survival.
The sound of a seagull can sound very refreshing, especially if you are on the beach taking a vacation. I once remember when I was very young, building a sand castle in the sand and trying to create a moat around it. My sand castle didn't last forever, because the waves of the ocean took it by surprise, destorying it as it was carried out to sea. However, to the young travelers, the sound of a seagull meant that they were no longer on the stormy seas, but on the golden shores of land. Violet slowly opened her eyes to welcome in the sunlight, and she spotted a seagull who was flying overhead, signaling to them that they had landed. She looked over at her sleeping siblings, who were all huddled up against her with their eyes closed. Young Beatrice was secure in Klaus's arms, while Sunny happened to be in Violet's arms.
Violet gently shook Sunny until she opened her eyes as well, and pointed at the sand. Sunny smiled at her sister and shouted "Land ho!" It was loud enough to wake up Klaus and Beatrice, and as they realized where they were, they cheered as well.
They pulled the boat up to the shore so it wouldn't get washed away and decided to explore the beach. Violet gasped and instantly recognized it at Briny Beach, the place where the Baudelaire orphans first heard of the terrible fire that killed their parents and destroyed their mansion. She saw a figure in the distance and couldn't help but think about Mr. Poe. He was responsible for the orphans welfare, but as he placed them in different homes, Count Olaf would always find them. Still, she couldn't help but feel guilty about not telling him anything that happened since they had seen him last. In fact, the three orphans were feeling a sense of "deja vu", a French term that means experiencing something twice in a row, or having a sense that you have experienced something before. Mr. Poe had last seen them as they exited Briny Beach, jumped into the taxi which just so happened to be driven by Kit Snicket herself, and whisked away to the Hotel Denouement.
Count Olaf was an extremely evil man who had caused so many misfortunes to come into the Baudelaire's lives. He only seeked for the enormous Baudelaire fortune, which Violet would receive when she turned 18. Though he had died on the same island that young Beatrice was born, his legacy still seemed to be with the Baudelaire orphans as they stared into the distance at the figure that approached closer to them.
"Mr. Poe? Is that you?" Violet asked as the figure approached closer. Sure enough, there he was, coughing into his handkerchief and staring at the children with an angry glint in his eye.
"HACKPTH! HACKPTH!" Mr. Poe coughed again loudly, and looked at the children once more. "I have no idea where you little scoundrels have been, but you're coming with me this instant! Last time you ran away from me, but it won't be that case again. I have heard many terrible and notorious things about you three, and I won't stand to have criminals on the loose that I happen to know! I can't~"
"Mr. Poe, I'm sure that you're very angry at us, but we can explain~" Violet was cut sharp by Mr. Poe's rising voice.
'Now Violet, it is extremely rude to interrupt someone when they are talking! I know your parents raised you better then that! Anyway, you will have a chance to explain yourselves, right after I take you to the courthouse and put you on trail!" Mr. Poe exclaimed.
The orphans all gasped and looked at each other nervously. Beatrice, who had already learned to speak a couple of words, angrily looked at Mr. Poe. "Meeka!" she angrily exclaimed. By "Meeka!" she probably meant something along the lines of "I can't believe you're accusing my guardians of such a ridiculous thing!"
Mr. Poe looked at the youngster and raised his eyebrow. 'I have no idea what meeka means, but by the looks of you, I can tell that you're not happy. Who is this, orphans? One of your hostages?"
Violet gasped and glared at Mr. Poe as well. "No, this is Beatrice, child of Kit Snicket, a good friend of ours! She is an orphan now, so we have taken the responsibility of raising her as our own child. Now answer me this Mr. Poe, do you really think that raising a child is something that a notorious criminal would do?" she asked, quick to defend her siblings.
"No, but that still doesn't prove a thing. I've waited long enough for you to return, and now that you are here, I'm going to take you right now to prove if you are guilty or innocent." Mr. Poe stated. "Now, you can either come with me peacefully or forcefully. The choice is yours."
Sighing, Violet picked up Beatrice and motioned for Klaus and Sunny to follow. There was no use arguing with Mr. Poe, he wasn't going to listen to reason. The only choice that the youngsters had was to go with him and await their destiny.
Well, that is all for now. It's the biggest first chapter I've ever written. I can't wait to write more, this series is one of my favorites! So tell me what you think, and Chapter 2 will probably be up soon. I made a lot of references in here to the book, see if you can find them :)
