** ROXANNA POV **
"Hey Roxie, have you met the new lieutenant?" Don Malarkey called from the tent where a group of Easy boys were gathered. "Come over here! We're shooting craps!"
"I'm not loaning you any more money, Malarkey," I retorted, sauntering over to where he stood. "You still owe me from last time. My luck, your chute won't open on the jump and I'll never see it! Besides, you know I don't really gamble."
"Yeah, yeah," he laughed, hugging me good-naturedly and gesturing to someone at the other end of the table. "You'll jump out of a damned airplane, but you won't throw down a couple of dollars on a roll of the dice. But you should come over here and meet him anyway. We've been telling him about you. He went to UCLA too."
"Don't interrupt the man, Malarkey!" Bill chided. "He's on fire right now, and he's winning me money!"
I couldn't see him yet, but there were enough tattered bills stacked in front of him that Bill's statement seemed to hold true. He stood to throw the dice again, so the crowd of men gathered around him backed away, and we locked eyes just as he put the dice to his lips to blow on them. I barely registered Don's voice beside me.
"Lieutenant Buck Compton, meet one of our medics and resident warrior princess, Roxanna Sharp."
I blinked in disbelief. Of all the companies in the entire United States military, he had to be assigned to mine? No! I was here first! I'd fought hard to get here! I'd been through Toccoa and Sobel! I'd been here for two years! Why did he have to come to my company? My brain was screaming, but my mouth didn't move. It felt like hours, but it was only seconds. At first, he looked as shocked to see me as I was to see him. Then, that slow, familiar, cocksure smile spread across his face.
"How about it, Roxie? You wanna blow on 'em for me? You always did bring me good luck."
The men around us looked on in surprised confusion, swiveling their heads between us like they were watching a tennis match. When Buck winked at me, I thought Bill was going to choke after he coughed to cover a laugh. The Roxanna Sharp that these boys knew wasn't one to let such a brash display pass without comment, even from a lieutenant. They waited with bated breath for my reaction without fully understanding the exchange that was taking place.
Buck was waiting for a reaction too, his ice-blue eyes glinting as he anticipated my melting under the weight of his brilliant smile. Instead, I pulled out all the money I had in my pocket and, without counting it or breaking our stare, threw the whole wad down on the table in front of George Luz, the Easy Company bookie.
"Damn, Rox! Do you even know how to play craps? That's at least a month's worth of…" Luz began.
"I know what it is, George. My money says he craps out on this roll."
Buck looked amused.
"Roxie, have you ever seen me crap out? Pick up your money. Seriously."
"Just roll your seven, Buck, so I can get back to my life."
The smile faded and he shrugged, "Suit yourself. Still stubborn as hell, I see. Never could get you to believe that I never lose."
The dice clattered to the end of the table and off of the board that had been set up. Everyone in the group looked to George, waiting on him to announce the result of the roll, except for Buck and me. I held his gaze with a hard stare of my own as George spoke.
"Seven," he said, clearly in disbelief. "Buck craps out."
There was laughter, hooting, and hollering as Buck's eyes snapped down to the dice. Seven crude white dots stared back up at him, grouped in four and three. Then he looked back up at me, his mouth agape but silent. I finally broke into a smirk and shrugged, sending him a wink of my own as George handed me my money.
"Well, you know what they say, lieutenant. You can't win 'em all."
The familiarity of the phrase hit him and his broad shoulders sank as I turned to walk away. I could hear his boots behind me, but I kept walking.
"Roxie, wait, please. Roxanna!"
** MALARKEY POV **
"So," I nudged as our newest lieutenant stared ardently after the retreating medic. "I take it that you two have met before?"
He sighed and turned back toward me, kicking at a rock with the toe of his boot and looking a bit like an ashamed little boy as he mumbled, "Yeah, we, uh, sort of have a history."
"A history?"
"Yeah. We were friends at UCLA. Best friends."
"And? What happened?"
"Long story."
Before I could press him further, Winters appeared beside us in a jeep and ordered Buck to get in. Winters wasn't really a fan of Buck's overfamiliarity with the enlisted men, feeling that it could pose a danger to his role as a leader, and he really, really didn't like Buck gambling with us. My guess was that he was probably about to get an earful on top of everything else. Still, I wanted an explanation for what had just happened. I went jogging after Roxanna.
She must have heard my boots approaching from behind because she stopped abruptly and said, "I swear to God, Buck, if you don't leave me…"
"Roxie, it's just me."
Her defensive posture immediately softened as I pulled her into another hug and then walked her toward the tent where we'd been sleeping. It was deserted at the moment, so it provided a refuge where we could talk. We'd become good friends over the last two years, and I often sought advice from her about my Marie. She'd told me once, when I'd asked her why she was still single, that she'd had her heart broken in college and hadn't really gotten it out of her system before she joined the Airborne. She'd left the story intentionally vague, but the pieces were beginning to fall into place now.
"Go ahead and ask, Don. You already know the answer."
"Yeah, I figured. So are you finally going to tell me what happened? He seems like a nice enough guy, even for a football star. Don't tell me I already have to hate him."
That garnered a laugh, and she sighed before launching into her explanation.
"He is a nice guy, Don. Actually, he's a pretty great guy. We were best friends once."
"Yeah, he mentioned that."
"He did?" She asked, seeming surprised at his acknowledgement of their history. "Well, anyway…"
** ROXANNA POV **
It was freshman year at UCLA. I was nervous as hell. A small-town bookworm on a big campus. Introverted. Completely focused and clutching my books so hard that my knuckles were white. I made it to my first class, and found an available seat next to a group of rowdy athletes, which was, of course, my worst nightmare. Shy bookworms do not often handle themselves well around popular, handsome, outgoing football players. It was probably two or three weeks before I even looked up at any of them, although you know me. I followed the football games, so I knew who they all were.
It was a Monday, after a particularly impressive win, when he spoke to me for the first time. They'd obviously spent the weekend partying it up, and he was wholly unprepared for a surprise test. Luckily, our professor was a big fan, so as we gathered up our materials after class, I saw him called to the front. Then I heard my name.
"Roxanna, would you come up here a moment. Roxanna, this is Lynn Compton. He plays baseball and football for us here, and he could use some tutoring to make sure he stays on track. You are among my most promising students this term. I thought perhaps you might be able to tutor him and help him with his study habits."
I wasn't particularly happy about the idea, but then I looked up at him. When he flashed me that smile, I'd probably have agreed to just about anything. As it turns out, Buck was pretty much the opposite of most of the football players that I'd ever come into contact with, at least as far as personality goes. He was good-looking and sure of himself, of course. He was also intelligent, charming, and kind-hearted… and surprisingly easy to talk to, once he got me out of my shell. I was impressed with how smart he was, and he was impressed to find out that I knew about sports. We made each other laugh. He actually cared a lot about his grades, and we had some of the same classes, so we started studying together more. Maybe it was because we could talk and I didn't fawn all over him. I called him out on his ego and he challenged me on my meekness. I don't know how to explain it. We just fit.
Four years. Four years, and we were the best of friends. He dated. Usually the pretty, popular types. I even dated some. Usually guys that Buck set me up with. Never anything serious for either of us. I'm sure that you can guess that I had completely gone head over heels for him by then, and was totally convinced that he couldn't possibly ever think of me that way. I wasn't his type. I was the friend. He dated pretty cheerleaders.
During his senior season, he started dating the captain of the cheerleading squad. She was beautiful and just his type, and she looked at me like I was some kind of bug. Our friendship drove her right up the wall. Back-handed comments. Being sickeningly sweet to me in front of him, and then totally different behind his back. Whining and begging him to spend more time with her to keep him away from me. You know how it goes. Buck finally caught her at a party one night, just after a huge win, when she was ridiculing me for showing up where I wasn't wanted. They had a huge fight, and she demanded that he choose between us. That was the beginning of the end.
"So that's what happened?" Don interrupted, speculating, "He chose her and you got your heart broken."
I smiled and shook my head.
"No. Actually, he told her that if she were to make him choose between us, that she wouldn't like the outcome. Then we left and walked back to my apartment. The rest of that night was great."
"Oh." I could tell he was perplexed, and finally he asked, "So what did happen?"
When the story was finished, Don said nothing. He put a sympathetic arm around my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. The familiarity of the reassuring gesture in relation to the story I'd just shared finally brought out the tears I'd been struggling to hold back since I'd first seen Buck's face looking back at me in that tent.
** BILL POV **
"So, uh, what was that all about earlier?"
I ran into Buck again after his lecture from Winters, and immediately asked him the question that had been burning in all of our minds since that unusual exchange at the craps table. He tried to play dumb at first, but I gave him a look that said I wasn't having it. Roxanna Sharp didn't take any shit from anyone, sure, but she also was not one to hold a grudge. Respected and well-liked, she generally got along with everyone. Even Roy Cobb, who had been among the most skeptical when she showed up at Toccoa, considered her a friend. She wouldn't have seen Buck Compton for at least two years, as she'd obviously been in training with us, so it concerned us that she'd been nursing such out-of-character hard feelings against him for that long. We all liked the new lieutenant instantly, but we were fiercely protective of Roxie. If he'd done something bad enough to make her dislike him, we wanted to know what it was.
"We just… have a history, Bill."
"Yeah, no shit. What kind of history?" He was clearly uncomfortable with the question, so I pressed. "Look, you seem like a good guy, but that little princess is our pride and joy. There isn't a man in this company who wouldn't take a bullet for her. She doesn't dislike anybody, even Cobb. But she definitely has been harboring something against you. So before we all go into battle together, we need to know what you did to hurt our girl."
He sighed, his response barely audible.
"I kissed her."
My Italian blood was flash-boiled.
"You what? Like, you kissed her and she didn't want you to? You son of a…"
"No! No! Not like that! We were best friends, and I kissed her."
Now I was just confused, and I pressed him to explain. He motioned me to sit down on some nearby crates and began to relate the story of their four year friendship, and how it had all come crashing down.
** BUCK POV **
After the argument, we left the party and walked back to her apartment, which was right down the street. I started to apologize for not realizing how badly she was being treated by my girlfriend, but she waved me off and told me not to worry about it. The point, to her, was that when I had found out, I'd stood up for her. That's just the type of person she was, to reassure me when I was feeling guilty about something. Four years. All through college. She was my study partner, my best friend, and my closest confidante. By the time we reached her room that night, we were laughing and talking about other things. It was typical of us. We just truly appreciated each other's company.
We spent the rest of the night eating junk food, listening to music, and talking. It got late. We had been stretched out across her bed, laughing about God knows what, and I said that I needed to head back to my own apartment which, incidentally, was just a few floors away. I think I had an early practice or something, and she was going to be busy the next day with a project. Anyway, I said that I should probably get going.
She turned her face up toward mine, and I have no idea why, but my whole world shifted. It was like our whole friendship flashed through my mind, and some little part of my brain was just screaming at me that I'd been staring the perfect girl in the face for the last four years, and I'd never even given it a second thought. In that moment, all I wanted was to know whether there was something between us beyond friendship. A spark. I loved her dearly, but was I in love with her? So I kissed her. I kissed her, and I remember every second of it like it just happened.
I could tell that she was watching my eyes, which were on her bottom lip. She had it pulled between her teeth, as though she could tell that the atmosphere in the room had shifted. I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and her eyes fluttered closed as I ran my fingers down her jaw and neck. My thumb ran across her mouth, and her lips parted in a sigh. God, she was beautiful. I leaned in and brushed my mouth against hers, and it felt like an electrical surge. I can still feel her slipping her fingers through the hair at the base of my neck, pulling me back in. Kissing Roxie for the first time… I mean, really kissing her… was like having my blood lit on fire. It was better than any touchdown. Any homerun or runner I threw out. Thinking about it now? It was better than the Rose Bowl. And it felt like the most natural thing in the world. When we finally pulled away, we just smiled at each other because we knew that everything had just changed forever. I told her that it was something I probably should have done a long time ago, and that she'd never have to worry about being mistreated by another girl that I was dating. In that moment, I meant it with all my heart. I kissed her again at the door, and we exchanged our first "I love you." I walked back to my apartment on top of the world.
"So, what the hell happened then?" Bill pressed, insistent on learning what I had done to wrong this girl they all clearly cared deeply about.
I was understandably hesitant to finish the story, not only because I knew how I would sound, but because it was the one thing in my life that I truly regretted. I still struggled with it, and now that I knew she was here… Now that I'd seen her again… it was like a fresh wound. I finally formulated an answer.
"I woke up and went to practice the next day, and started listening to my buddies talking about how I was single again, and how much fun we all had. I convinced myself that I wasn't ready for any kind of serious relationship, but I knew that there was no way that I could treat Roxie as casually as I did the other girls I'd dated. If I started dating Roxie, that'd be it. She was the one. I was certain of that. I just wasn't certain I was ready to be with the one. So I decided that I should have fun a little longer. Roxie and I would stay friends, and then, when I was ready to settle down, I would sweep her off of her feet and marry her."
"And did you let her in on any of this?"
"Not exactly. She worked on her project until late, so I didn't see her. I'm not sure what I would have said if I had, honestly. But the next morning, she knocked on my apartment door with coffee and pastry from our favorite bakery. I opened it just in time for her to see the cheerleader walking out of my bathroom. When she saw Roxie's face, she just kinda laughed and said 'You can't win 'em all.' Roxie handed me the breakfast she'd brought and walked away. Then, she avoided me as much as possible until graduation. I wouldn't have known how to explain myself anyway. I could barely look at her. At graduation, she handed me a card. She was planning on nursing at one of the military hospitals, and she knew I was headed to training, so she said that she hoped she'd never have to treat me because it would kill her if something happened to me. Despite it all, she said she'd always love me and told me to be careful over here. That was the last time I saw or heard from her… until today."
Bill stared at me in disbelief for a moment before finally shaking his head, "Damn, Buck."
That pretty much said it all.
"I know. Believe me. I know."
