Shut up, and listen to the otter by corgisrockbutt
This story is what happened to the otter after he was taken to the Humane Society. The cool thing about this story, that is not included in the other stories I have written, is it is in the Otter's POV. Anywho…
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I sat in silence, waiting for the fat lady in the gray uniform to give me my food. Around my cage I could hear dogs snarl, cats meow, and birds chirp. I liked it in this place. Everything smelled like wet dog and the people fed you every day. We were let out for individual walks once a week, and you got your own litter box. It was a real deal, except for the fact that they tested your shit every three days for poisonous objects.
I was finally taken home by the Katrina's, a family of three that lived in the suburbs of America.
Mr. Katrina was fat and used some colorful language. Mrs. Katrina was stout but an average size, she had blond hair that was piled on top of her head. Their kid, Miles Katrina, was thin and athletic, although when I saw his report card I figured that he wasn't that bright. They had an old lady named Lena Hamilton living with them because, of course, she was Mrs. Katrina's mother. Lena reminded me of Ginny. (God have mercy on me I hated the living hell of that woman.)
Lena did not like me the moment she saw my face. "What the hell is a squirrel doing in my mother fucking carpet?!" She bellowed.
"Calm down mother, it is our new pet otter." Mrs. Katrina bent down to pet my slick back.
Miles picked at his earlobe. "Mom, I am tired, can I go to bed early?"
Mrs. Katrina scowled at him, "No, take your new otter for a walk. Then feed him, then brush his fur then brush his teeth. Understood?"
Miles stared blankly at his mother "Can you repeat the question?"
I on the other hand had to shit, so I did which caused Lena to flip. "The fucking vermin just made a turd on your carpet, girl! What the hell is it going to do next?!" And of course Mrs. Katrina put me out on the back lawn, which caused me to shed otter tears.
I was attempting to dig to China when a ghostly figure appeared beside me. It was Harry! I licked his face, but my tongue went right on through.
Harry was a ghost, a real ugly one too. But otherwise I was glad to see him. He floated to the door and I followed. The only problem was I could not walk through doors, so I ended up hitting the hard piece of wood until Mr. Katrina came outside to help me get through.
For the past few days I followed Harry around, I ran into so many doors that the Katrina's thought I was mental. Harry eventually disappeared, and I became depressed. They did not know why, so being they jolly people they are, they went to the vet.
I hated the vet because number one; she was squinty eyes and number two; she did not hand out lollipops.
It was proven to the Katrina's by the vet that I had "A small form of depression" and needed "Special Care".
Lena accused the vet of not euthanizing me.
For about six weeks I had to be looked over by Miles. It was worse than Ginny had been.
One day, when Lena took me to Wal-Mart, I saw Ron. I squeaked and slithered over to him. Of course Lena had to follow. So then they had a conversation. I couldn't tell what they were saying because Lena had stuffed me in her oversized purse, but when I got home I heard Lena say to Mr. Katrina that she was asked out by "a ravishing red headed monster"
That sure explained a lot.
Ron came over every evening to have dinner with the Katrina's. I tried to get him to notice me, but since he was so damn old he probably thought I was the family dog.
"Why the hell is the cat squeaking at me!?"He would yell, and then did i figure out that I was thought to be the family cat,
Lena had a Myspace account and I liked to go on it and chat with babes while the family was away. I also liked to piss on Miles bed.
One time when the Katrina's were away, I found Mr. Katrina's Playboy magazine. It reminded me of Harry's Playwitch magazine that I found on my otter bed one time. I laughed and flushed it down the toilet.
Unfortunately, the bathroom got flooded and Mrs. Katrina blamed it all on Miles for using too much toilet paper
I learned the meaning of the "wooden spoon" that night.
It was a dreadful day when Lena caught me on her Myspace account. It was brought to the "Katrina family court" (I know, isn't that lame?) and they decided that I be thereby banned from the family.
That truly sucked some stuff. I was taken to the local animal shelter by Mrs. Katrina. She petted me and I pretended not to notice, but in my heart I thought she smelled good.
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Sorry for the weird ending. Hope youz review! I will update soon!
