Tough Love

Pairing: M/A…duh?!

Rating: M – for language.

Summary: After Max recklessly endangers her life – again – Alec steps in as her self-appointed guardian, becoming commanding, authoritative and unpredictable…

Set after Freak Nation. All transgenics now reside within T.C.'s walls, and Logan has assumed his rightful place in the DA universe – on the throne of non-existence.

Let me just put it out there for everyone so that you all know where I'm coming from. I don't like Logan. In fact, as the years pass the more I detest the man. As far as I am concerned after that disgusting display of…eww… at the end of Freak Nation, Logan ceases to exist. I don't care what you imagine happened to the man. Personally I like to imagine he eloped to Guatemala with a circus midget named Bernard to have a love child! So if you're looking for anything Logan related then move along. You won't find his name mentioned again.

Disclaimer: I would like to disclaim that I own nothing, although I am willing to sell my body to Jensen for anything he is willing to trade me for it...


The Catalyst

"Come on Max, stop ignoring me!" Alec yelled loudly through the door, giving it another loud thump with his fist in frustration. He ran a hand through his dishevelled hair as he looked down the hallway and contemplated giving up. The thought was tempting. If he walked away now he wouldn't have to listen to Max chew his ass out about whatever it was he'd done wrong this week - like invading her privacy.

Alec gave one more longing look down the hallway before turning back to her door with resolve. He wasn't blind. He could see that she hadn't been looking after herself properly - and it was getting worse - which was concerning. He just wanted to check in on her, he wanted to make sure she was alright. No, that wasn't quite the truth. It wasn't a want – it was a need. He needed to make sure she was alright.

"You better be decent Max," he muttered loudly as he nimbly picked her lock, "cause I'm coming in, ready or not." Not that he would mind in the least if he managed to stumble in on a semi-naked Max, Alec mused silently to himself; he'd actually enjoy it much more than perhaps he should. But he knew his enjoyment would only last the split second it took for her to stick her foot clean up his ass, and Max being the over achiever that she was meant that there was always the risk that she might not be able to remove it once she'd had her fun. It wasn't worth that risk, he decided.

As Max's door swung open, Alec immediately noticed how eerily quiet her small apartment was. He slipped silently inside, his senses on high alert, and as he cautiously stepped further into her small living room a cold chill raced up his spine. Something wasn't right.

He quickly slipped further into the shadows, every muscle taut and ready for action as he scanned the apartment. His senses were telling him that there was no hostile force within, which he was thankful for, because it allowed him to relax his defences enough to move from room to room more quickly in search of her.

But the same voice that alerted him to the absence of intruders was screaming at him that there was something very wrong with Max; and although he knew that many people would ridicule placing such faith in one of his feelings - Max being at the top of that list - experience had taught Alec it was rarely wrong… it just knew things.

He checked Max's small bedroom without any success, but it was obvious she had been there until very recently, the clothes she had been wearing not four hours ago lying in a pile on the floor and the sheets of her bed in disarray. As he continued to quickly move through her small apartment Alec's gaze instinctively swept towards the bathroom, its door slightly ajar. As he tried to push it open he encountered resistance. He carefully gave it a firm shove with his shoulder and craned his head around the door. He could now clearly see what was obstructing the door. Max. She was lying unconscious on the floor in a singlet and a pair of boxer shorts.

Alec swore he felt his heart stop in his chest… and it hurt. Then he was throwing himself across the floor on his knees and gathering Max to him while he began feeling for a pulse – he just desperately hoped that he wasn't too late.

But where was it? He was having trouble finding her pulse, his hand shaking and his heart pounding in his chest so hard that he couldn't concentrate long enough to locate it. All Alec could focus on was the deathly pale colour of her complexion as he looked down on her, and the clamminess of her skin beneath his fingertips as he stroked her face.

"You can't do this to me, Max. Please don't do this to me…", he begged, "…don't you dare do this to me."

Alec suddenly realised just how fallible Max was. Until this very moment in time he had never really considered the possibility of her not being around. She was the one constant in his life - always had been, ever since the first moment he had met her.

Sure, he knew they were both soldiers, and as soldiers they risked their lives everyday and accepted those risks; and he knew that the odds that either one of them would die in battle were substantial. All of this had always been in the back of his mind, but until today he had never truly believed that Max could die – she was just too alive. But as he looked down at the limp body in his arms and concentrated on locating a pulse, he felt real fear grip his heart.

Suddenly Alec felt a beat beneath his finger tips, and then another one. "Thank God!" he sighed in relief, releasing the breath he was not aware he had been holding as he hung his head, letting his forehead rest lightly on her breastbone, concentrating on the feeling of it rising and falling as he tried to calm his panic.

But his reprieve was momentary. As he sat there with her in his lap, silently thanking whichever deity was responsible for her continually beating heart, Alec realised that the beat beneath his fingertips was much too rapid.

"Max? Max, can you hear me?" He leaned over her, studying her face for a response as he gently shook her shoulder. He checked her over quickly for injuries, but found none. Without another thought Alec scooped her up in his arms and started to carry her through to the bedroom, but he only got halfway before she started to seize forcefully. "Shh, shh… It's okay Maxie, I'm here. You're going to be alright," he whispered into her hair comfortingly, breathing in her scent in an unconscious attempt to reassure himself that she would be alright, as he hugged her more tightly to his broad chest.

When the worst of the tremors had subsided he began to make his way quickly to her bedroom once again. He deposited her gently on the bed, making her as comfortable as possible before racing back into the bathroom to retrieve the tryptophan tablets he'd noticed scattered across the floor. He suspected that she'd been trying to take them when she was hit by a violent seizure, and had fallen unconscious before she could take any.

Alec returned to her side, placing a glass of water on her bedside table before cautiously placing a strong arm beneath her back, lifting her limp form up into a sitting position and scooting in behind her. He had her sitting up in bed in front of him as he sat behind her and slightly to the side, allowing her weight to lean against his chest and her head to rest against his shoulder.

"Max…?" He supported her head and tenderly brushed a lock of hair out of her face, his brows pinched in worry as he desperately searched for any sign that she was conscious. "Max, you need to wake up for me," Alec pleaded as he stroked the soft skin of her cheeks gently to try to wake her up. But to no avail.

"This is all your fault! If only you weren't so goddamn stubborn all the fucking time!" he swore not so softly in frustration, sticking a couple of fingers into the glass of water and flicking them in her face. In the back of his mind he was desperately hoping that her eyes would suddenly snap open and that she'd begin to kick his ass for having the audacity to blame her for anything, even something that was entirely her fault.

Max groaned almost imperceptibly as her eyelids fluttered slightly and her brows furrowed in pain. As the light assaulted her senses she shut her eyes again and turned her head, burying her face further into the crook of Alec's neck.

"Max! I need you to stay awake and take your meds. You're having a seizure," Alec said desperately, unable to keep the anxiety and relief out of his voice as he continued to wipe his wet hand across her forehead, trying to keep her conscious whilst reaching for her pills with the other.

He was having trouble controlling the fear that gripped his heart and the panic that churned his stomach, and goddamn it, he was a soldier! He was trained to be cool and calm under pressure, and here he was losing it when Max needed him most. As he drank in her appearance he couldn't remember having ever seen her look so hurt and vulnerable, and he knew only too well from his days at Manticore how badly this might still end.

"Alec?" Max mumbled, her tongue thick and uncooperative. She was desperately trying to work out where she was and what had happened as she fought to stay conscious. All she knew was that he was there with her. All around her.

"Yeah Max, it's Alec. I need you to open your mouth so I can give you your meds." He hovered behind her with an agitated look marring his beautiful face as he prayed desperately that she wouldn't pass out again before he could administer her medication. He was after all a man…his coping abilities in these sorts of situations only went so far.

Max screwed up her face as she tried to focus on his face swimming right in front of her, her vision blurry, but opened her mouth as commanded, for once doing as she was bid. Alec popped the pills onto the back of her tongue and held the glass of water to her lips.

"Now steady. Just be careful you--"

She suddenly coughed roughly on the water, sending a light spray onto the front of Alec's shirt and down the side of his neck, the light mist beading on his golden skin.

"-- don't choke," Alec warned too late, giving a small sarcastic smile at the fact Max never did what he said, not even on her sickbed. "You okay?" he asked softly as he rubbed her back soothingly, ducking his head to look her in the eye as he let her back rest more heavily against his front.

This was something entirely new to Alec, but something that he had always wondered about - what it would feel like to care for someone and to be able to provide them comfort in their time of need. And surprisingly he found that he liked the feeling it gave him. He had always secretly envied, and more vocally attenuated, what the outwardly happy couples he saw walking down the street had.

He had also wondered if he would be any good at it. Would he be able to care enough? Would he be able to be selfless enough to give enough of himself to another person? And would they be able to hold his admittedly limited attention span?

But sitting here holding Max like this made him think for the first time with any real conviction that he could. Because he liked the closeness it gave him to Max, and not just in the physical sense - although that was a whole lot nicer than he could have imagined - but he liked the emotional closeness it provided; something in the past he'd had only for a very brief period of time. He suddenly realised that Max was the person who knew him best, and that he considered her his best friend. He also knew that he was the person that knew her best - even if she didn't know it - and that he was the person that she always turned to when in need. But that being said, neither really knew the other. They both held their feelings back, not willing to relinquish that last ounce of control.

He didn't blame either of them for it, he knew exactly where it came from. After all, it was often the only skill that would keep you alive in that place. Alec couldn't remember how many times his ability to shutter his emotions and disengage from a situation had literally saved his life at Manticore. He realised that it might finally be time for both of them to take that last step… maybe they could do it together.

Max let her head fall back to rest against his shoulder as she wiped her mouth with the back of a shaky hand. As she relaxed and leaned more fully into his solid chest she became aware of several things. Firstly, she could distinctly feel the heat of his body seeping through her clothes anywhere she came in contact with him, and because of the clamminess of her skin all she wanted to do was bury further into his warmth. She was also very aware of his hands on her back and was consciously following the idle rhythmic patterns he was tracing languidly on her skin, almost like he was trying to communicate something with her, something he wouldn't say. But what was most surprising was that if she concentrated she could feel the beat of his heart against her shoulder where she was pressed against him - and it was beating unusually fast. She closed her eyes for a moment and concentrated on the feelings of comfort and safety she felt. They were feelings she wasn't used to, and they were…nice.

Max suddenly forced herself to open her eyes and reach for the blanket beside her. While these feelings were nice, they were also dangerous, and not feelings she wanted to become reliant on. She knew from experience that becoming too accustomed to these types of feelings only hurt like a bitch when you had to go back to doing without them again.

"Who do you want me to call?" Alec asked while helping to ease her carefully into a horizontal position and arrange the blankets around her as he slipped out from behind her.

"No one, I'm fine. I just need some rest," she replied hoarsely as she lay down and started to shake as another seizure gripped her.

"Max, you need help. Look at you. You look like shit, and I just found you unconscious on your bathroom floor," he argued matter-of-factly, his face the picture of determination.

Great, just what she needed, he was going to be difficult. "P-p-promise m-me Alec," she stuttered. "P-promise me y-you won't t-tell anyone," she pleaded looking up at him with wide brown eyes, her brows pinched together in pain and anxiety.

Alec knew in that moment that it was all over. He was finished. He would never be able to remain stalwart against that Bambi look, regardless of how important it was that he did so.

"Max I --"

"Only you. Promise!" she hissed with as much ferocity as she could muster, clenching her teeth together to try to stop their chattering.

"Alright, alright," he bit off, running a hand through his lengthening hair roughly, frustrated with himself for being unable to refuse her anything. "But if you even sniffle I'm getting help. I don't want your death on my conscience," he replied stonily, determined to not give in without at least one condition.

"Being a little m-melodramatic aren't w-we?" she teased with a pained smile, trying to make light of the situation that they now found themselves in. Max recognised the irony in her situation. Ordinarily she bitched and complained that Alec never took anything seriously, but now all she wanted was for him to stop with the seriousness.

"I don't think so Max. You look like hell, and you just scared three shades of shit out of me," he said deadly serious, raking his eyes over her and taking in her sickly appearance with concern.

A wave of guilt suddenly assailed her as she met his eyes, the fear and worry unconcealed in their hazel depths. She really was scaring him.

"Thankyou," she said, looking him in the eye and holding his gaze, trying to communicate how important this was to her. She didn't want her flaws and vulnerabilities witnessed by all of T.C. How could she expect them to have any respect or confidence in her as their leader if they knew how weak and flawed she truly was?

"You okay here for a minute if I go to find some milk?" he asked quietly as he lightly stroked her forehead with his thumb, almost like he was trying to erase the furrows of pain with his soothing touch. His fingers were surprisingly soft and warm, and with a jolt of yearning Max couldn't remember the last time someone touched her like that.

She nodded as she closed her eyes, taking a deep painful breath, and listened to him quietly leave the room.

oOoOoOoOo

Max wasn't aware of the passing of time but she awoke to warm fingers on her forehead again, stroking soothingly, and the low rumble of a familiar male voice.

"Sorry to wake you," Alec murmured softly from where he was perched next to her on the edge of the bed, "but you really should drink this," he said, inclining his head toward the tall glass of chilled milk that now sat on her nightstand.

She pulled herself upright with difficulty, her strength sapped from the seizures. Alec picked up the glass and handed it to her carefully, his eyes scrutinising her condition in minute detail, looking for any signs that he should do what it was his gut was telling him and call somebody.

Max grimaced, her muscles were sore and unresponsive and her head thumped so violently that she couldn't think or concentrate on anything but the pain. She caught sight of Alec out of the corner of her eye and saw his focus sharpen and a corresponding flash of pain flitter across his face, mirroring hers. She gritted her teeth and schooled her features, determined not to let him see her pain. She hated the fact that he was seeing her like this, and she didn't want to give him any more reason to stay and fuss over her like he was currently doing. She could take care of this herself.

Alec took the glass from her when she was done, and placed it back on the nightstand. "Feel better?"

"Yeah," she replied unsteadily as she shifted back down the bed to lie down again; trying to disguise the tremors still wracking her small body.

Alec watched intently for any sign of her seizures intensifying, continuing to sit where he was next to her, his attention never leaving her still form, his hazel eyes serious.

"Alec, what are you doing?" Max finally asked after a moment, trying to sound annoyed but not quiet managing, instead sounding small and frail.

"I'm making sure that your meds work and you stay conscious," he replied matter-of-factly.

She rolled her eyes at him. "See, no seizures and I'm conscious," she stated annoyed.

"Pfft," Alec snorted, dismissing her reasoning in one inelegant puff of air.

"I'm fine. Go and do something… useful." She waved a dismissing hand in the direction of the door as she stifled a yawn. She could feel a wave of exhaustion breaking over her as her meds and the milk kicked in.

"Hey, I'll leave you to rest once I'm convinced you're not gonna go belly-up on me. Just pretend I'm not here," Alec suggested with a grin, enjoying Max's corresponding grimace of disgust at his turn of phrase.

oOoOoOoOo

Alec waited until Max was lying still, her breathing slow and rhythmic. He gingerly slid off the bed trying not to disturb her, but as soon as she felt his weight leave the mattress her eyes fluttered open to look straight at him. His breath caught in the back of his throat as he stared into their depths. They were trusting and vulnerable and unguarded… and she was looking at him in a way he had always hoped she would. There was no annoyance, no judgement and no agenda. For the first time ever he felt as though she were truly looking at him. She was totally focused on him… and he liked it.

The spell was broken when she closed her eyes again and appeared to go back to sleep. "Ah… you think you'll be okay here for a little while, while I go down to headquarters and make sure no one's slackin' off?" he murmured, clearing his throat subtly. "One of us at least needs to be down there or rumours are gonna start flyin' once everyone realises the two of us are shacked up in your apartment," he said flashing her a cheeky grin. All of a sudden that innocent cheeky grin devolved in to something truly wicked. "On second thoughts that could be kinda fun - - "

"Alec," she warned sleepily in a tone Alec thought was adorable. If only he could see her like this more often.

"Oh come on Max, where is your sense of humour?" he asked, his eyes bright with boyish enthusiasm at the thought of pulling a prank.

Without opening her eyes Max deftly grabbed the nearest pillow and launched it at Alec, hitting him squarely in the face. Hard. He never even saw it coming.

Alec just shook his head, a little dazed, and turned to stalk out of the apartment. Even when the woman wasn't trying she was the bane of his existence.

As Max listened to Alec march out the door, she gave a small smirk as she imagined the adorable look of annoyance she knew he was currently wearing.

oOoOoOoOo

Alec remained in T.C.'s headquarters for the rest of the day, directing and organising all the day-to-day operations. Normally this job fell to Max, who would then delegate to those she trusted. In the three months since the establishment of Terminal City Max had set up a division of labour that allowed the city to run relatively smoothly most days. Dix and Luke had been assigned to oversee all telecommunications and Intel; Mole dealt with all things concerning munitions; while Alec's role was - - well far more adaptable and less clearly defined. Basically he just did whatever it was Max told him to. Which was fine by him, since he'd never harboured a desire to wield any sort of real power.

When one looked carefully at the balance of power within the city it was at first difficult to define whether it was in fact a democracy or an autocracy. Superficially T.C. was Max's show. When she made a decision or barked out an order all jumped to attention and scuttled away to do her bidding. But should there be any rumblings of discontent amongst the masses concerning one of her decisions, a meeting would be called and the matter discussed.

It was somehow through this arrangement that Alec had unexpectedly found himself in the position of mediator between Max and the unhappy fraction. For some reason beyond his understanding most residents of T.C. found him to be trustworthy and approachable, often coming to him with their complaints or concerns. He would then approach Max and attempt to negotiate a solution amenable to all parties. He was now unofficially thought of as Max's Second in Command. If Max was unavailable residents knew they should consult Alec. For this reason no one's suspicions were aroused when Alec stepped into T.C.'s headquarters and took control. Well almost no ones…

"So where's her ladyship today?" Mole asked snidely.

"Out," Alec replied, being intentionally vague as he looked over Dix's shoulder at something on the computer screen.

"Yeah, probably out flouncing around somewhere having a lovely time while the rest of us are stuck in here doing all the work," Mole said, gnashing on his cigar. It was no secret within T.C. that Max and Mole had a tenuous relationship at best.

"D'know. Max's personal life is her personal life. I don't ask questions – I find it saves me a lot of pain." Alec replied ruefully, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips as he acknowledged the truthfulness of this statement.

"Where's her accountability, huh? She can't just bunk off whenever the fancy takes her," Mole groused, really getting into the swing of his argument.

"Max gives herself wholeheartedly to this place, she's entitled to a personal day every now and again." Alec replied as he turned to face the transhuman, an edge to his voice which carried an implied warning which the lizard didn't appear to heed.

"I wish I could take a personal day whenever the fancy took me."

"Well you might as well Mole, considering the astounding amount of work you're getting done at this moment," Alec retorted dryly, turning around to focus his attention back on the computer screen, growing tired of the conversation. While he was not about to break his promise to Max, he was not about to lie to Mole either. Mole was a friend as well as a resident of T.C., and Alec did not believe that as either he should be lied to. It was his philosophy that leaders should never lie to their people, it just wasn't conducive to a healthy relationship.

"Alright smart-ass I'm going, but you might wanna be careful pretty-boy. You're starting to sound so much like her that you might wake up one day to find you've grown a pair of titties!" he threw over his shoulder as he stalked out of the room, a large grin adorning his face around his cigar.

oOoOoOoOo

Alec found it extraordinarily difficult to concentrate at all that day. His mind kept wandering back to Max, and the overwhelming urge he had to go and check on her. He knew she'd probably be alright now and just needed some rest, but that didn't stop him worrying. The urge to see her continued to build, and he had to concentrate hard on disguising his preoccupation and force his mind back onto his work.

When he wasn't worrying about her being up in her room all alone with no one to help her should she need it, he was thinking about how incredibly stupid she had been. Man she infuriated him – to the point where he had trouble keeping his hands off her – and not in a way she would enjoy. He'd been watching her more and more closely the last couple of weeks and he knew that she hadn't been eating or sleeping properly, and now she was apparently neglecting her pills. All he felt like doing was violently shaking some sense into her. Didn't she realise she'd scared him to death? Didn't she realise how close she'd come to dying? Who knows what could have happened if he hadn't persisted at her door this morning, but instead had given into the temptation to walk away.

He knew this was a situation entirely of Max's creation, occurring directly as a result of her pride and inability to ask for help. Not only was she risking her own life through her childish behaviour, but she was endangering the future of T.C. and all its residents. And as much as he hated to admit it, Alec knew Max was the glue that was holding them together. If God help it she died as a result of her carelessness with her own health, he feared that Terminal City would cease to function - and possibility him along with it.

All day Alec battled these emotions, see-sawing between agonising worry and blinding fury. Max might be able to run T.C. almost single-handedly, but she had just proven beyond a doubt that she couldn't be trusted to ensure her own health. And the heart-stopping panic that she had inflicted on him this morning had spurred Alec into a radical decision – someone was going to have to make Max accountable for her actions.


A/N: This is my first fic and I'm kinda interested to know what anyone thinks. I have a reasonable amount already in draft form and am going to post the first couple of chapters at once. I'm sorta doing this for my own amusement, but if I get some interest I will really try to post promptly. So if you have a spare minute let me know what you think – even if you think it blows, let me know and I'll stop wasting your time and mine. Cheers!