Limits

My first fanfic (be nice) no beta yet.

Rated M to be safe.

Warning: Drug use and probably self- harm, do not read if you cant handle it.

All Harry potter characters and so forth belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Brothers unfortunately I am neither and never will be.

Might use some content from the books, any content you recognise doesn't nor will ever belong to me.

Will take place at the end of the fourth book Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, but will mostly be book five Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Will NOT be slash.

Will probably contain some Dursleys abuse of Harry but nothing graphic.

And as the warning above says drug use will be throughout most of the story and the main theme.

And self-harm will probably be used I will just see where the story goes.

Troubled Harry but not dark.

Probably Snape mentors Harry later on.

OK enough of my ramblings let's get on with the story and I hope you enjoy and its different. :)

Harry sat up shakily in bed, the events of the night before crashing his mind like a ton of bricks. The image of Cedric's dead unmoving eyes etched onto his mind, almost as if it was a picture constantly in his line of vision.

Harry visibly shivered and not just from the terribly messed up, jumbled thoughts, going through his head; but from the aftereffects of the Cruciatus Curse. Harry was use to pain, but nothing could of prepared him for what he experienced in the graveyard.

Harry shakily sat up in bed and felt around the tabletop next to the bed for his glasses. Seeing the curtains drawn around his bed he hoped no one would disturb him, he just wanted to be alone. But alas he was Harry Potter and nothing ever went the way he wanted, so at that precise moment Madame Pomfrey opened the curtains around his bed.

Madame Pomfrey started talking straight away "Good your awake, you can have breakfast now. Good grief you look like you need it, we need to get your energy up. Professor Dumbledore wants to see you in his office, he wants you to explain to Mr Diggorys parents what happened last night." Harry tuned Madame Pomfrey out as she started muttering about Dumbledore and Harry's health being more important.

Harry felt as if he had been plunged into a bowl of ice cold water, having to already explain everything to Dumbledore the night before had been hard enough. For the first time in his life Harry just wanted to run away and forget about everything altogether, no one understood him he was at despair at himself as his thoughts became darker and more depressed.

He was bought out of his thoughts by Madame Pomfrey placing the breakfast tray on his lap, Harry downed his glass of water with shaking hands as he had never felt so thirsty before in his life. However the thought of eating the breakfast just made him feel sick, why should he eat, he thought about how he didn't deserve to eat it was his fault Cedric was dead. Harry knew his thoughts were turning dangerous so tried to occupy his mind by playing with his food.

Not much longer Dumbledore arrived in the hospital wing and went straight to Harry's bed "Ah Harry your finally awake if you go up to your dormitory and get changed, could you go to my office I need you to chat to Mr Diggorys parents. Remember Pumpkin Pasties". Harry was scared to go Dumbledore's office but was thankful to leave, so rushed out of the hospital wing past the arguing Madame Pomfrey and Dumbledore.

Harry decided to take a stroll using the secret passageways everything was just so hard he needed some space and time, his emotions making Harry feel even more confused he just wanted to stop thinking and feeling anything and everything. To soon for Harry's liking he was outside the Gryffindor portrait, as Harry was asked for the 'password' his mind went blank he couldn't think of anything but the night before.

Luckily for Harry at that moment Neville tumbled out of the portrait hole. "Alright Harry" Neville said without thinking before he realised his mistake, Neville looked into Harry's cold emotionless eyes and decided to leave Harry for the time being.

Harry got into the boys dorm without thinking, like a machine he went and had a shower. Before Harry knew it he was washed and dressed, Harry thought about where Ron and Hermione could be, but the thought left him quickly and without a further thought he was on his way to Dumbledore's office.

Next thing Harry knew he was outside Dumbledore's office, he said the password as fear clouded his whole being. Harry walked into Dumbledore's office without knocking, feeling drained and like he was surrounded by mist. As Harry explained everything to the Diggorys he felt detached like it wasn't even him saying the words, even forgetting where he was at times.

Harry remembered trying to give his winnings to the Diggorys and them refusing, the tears that they shed, Dumbledore telling Harry he was brave for being able to explain what happened and facing his problems head on. But as Harry wandered to the forbidden forest he mused that he couldn't remember much else, it scared Harry a bit that he had blanks from the day but decided to not worry to much. Anyway he had much bigger things to worry about such as the fact it was his fault Cedric was dead, it was his fault Quirell was dead, worst of all it was his fault his parents were dead.

Voldemort told Harry how his mum protected him even though she didn't have to, they should of let him be killed it was his fault they were dead.

As Harry inspected a leaf he wondered why he was such bad luck, why he always got everyone killed, and what life would be like if he were never born. It was with those depressing thoughts swirling through his head, that Harry ended up passed out by a tree within the forbidden forest.