Forgive and Forget
When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free: - Catherine Ponder
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is not mine.
He walked down the road with a pile of papers in his hand. He was being watched from a distance, but that was fine. They were both un-nerved by things recently. They decided to get some 'normality' into their lives.
He took one of the bits of paper and walked up the pathway to a house along the street he lived on. Folding it in half he was about to stick it through the letter box when the door swung open.
"What do you want?" A big gruff man. A white collar worker but he looked like he would be more at home chopping wood in a flannel shirt.
Spencer held out the bit of paper. "I – I was g going to – uh…" and a sigh.
The paper was unfolded and looked at. "A party at your place? A freaks party? Now that I gotta see."
Spencer started to back away. "Th thank you."
"What happened to your hair…Fall in front of a lawn mower?"
Spencer put a hand to his hair and gave a small smile. "No. Someone cut it." He glanced down the street towards Floyd who was still standing there watching.
"Yeah – of cause. Someone cut it." A raised eyebrow. "How silly of me to think otherwise. Count me in."
The man watched the weirdo turn and walk back down his pathway. He stuffed the bit of paper in his pocket and picked up the newspaper off the porch – still looking at the tall skinny guy from down the street. He noticed how he constantly looked back up the road to where his house mate was standing watching.
And so Reid spent the day slowly walking up the road with his bits of paper, slipping them through doors telling of a party at their place…a sort of late house warming thing. Getting to know the neighbours. How many would arrive was an unknown. They weren't the most popular couple in the street.
Having been so well isolated from everyone Spencer had lost contact with the very few friends he did have. The only other people they could ask were Hotch, Morgan and Prentiss – and anyone they would like to bring with them.
Floyd did the catering. Spencer frowned at him.
-o-o-o-
Hotch arrived alone as did Emily. Derek didn't turn up. Most of the rest of the street did though. They were curious about this odd couple who lived down the road and seemed to have bad luck with explosions and other strange happenings. Mrs Colgate insisted the place was haunted – and such strange smell sometimes. She brought a cake with her as a gift to the couple who she saw a few times holding hands and once kissing. But not recently.
Spencer had been told what to wear and having no fight in him that day he just dragged on the black jeans and red sleeveless Tshirt without an objection. Floyd had suggested he tried to do something with the mop he had for hair – but short of cutting it all off and starting again there wasn't much he could do with it. Floyd always full of good ideas gave him his old western style hat to wear.
"I can't wear this! I look like – I don't know what I look like, but I don't look like me."
"Oh it's ok for me to wear but not you? You don't like it?" He was frowning at Spencer.
"I didn't say I didn't like it. I just don't think it looks right on me." Floyd snatched it off Spencer's head again.
"Fine – look stupid then." He threw the hat down on the bed and walked out.
Reid stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself and sipped on the hot sweet coffee Floyd had brought him.
People did arrive. A lot of people but Spencer didn't really remember much of it. He spent most of his time standing with his back tightly against the wall watching the 'guests' eat their food. Not one of the neighbours approached him to talk – and not being the most social person on the planet he wasn't going to go and talk to them. Hotch stood with him for a while and chatted about nothing. Spencer couldn't talk back. His head was swimming and fuzzy and he thought if he actually opened his mouth to say anything he would throw up.
As predicted the food went down well, but Aaron didn't eat. It was the early hours of the morning and some people had said their goodbyes after having a good nose around the place – that Floyd came over to Spencer.
"Miserable little sod tonight. What's wrong with you?"
Reid looked into the dark eyes and shrugged.
"Go and lay down – you look pissed."
"I've only had coffee."
"Go and lay down. I will be with you soon." He took Reid by the arm and directed him down the hallway to the bedroom door. "Get in there and sleep some of this mood off will you?"
Spencer turned to Floyd. "I'm not in mood and I'm not drunk."
"Then you are doing this just to annoy me?"
"Doing what? I don't know what I am meant to have done!"
Floyd put a hand out and placed it on the side of Spencer's face. "I need to talk to you about something at some point. Go lay down. Sleep off whatever is bothering you and tomorrow we can start again. I know this isn't your sort of thing."
He moved closer and kissed Spencer gently on the lips.
"Rest babes. I will be in later."
He closed the door and walked over to the bed. Slowly he pulled off the clothes he had been wearing and got into his lovely comfy bed. There was no chance of him falling asleep – not with the noise from other parts of the house and so it was a surprise when he realised he had been woken up by someone on the bed behind him. Hands pushed at his back and kisses ran over the back of his neck. Something was wrong. He knew it was wrong. The hands too soft but not hurting either. This person was gentle and this was comfort not ragged rough spiteful sex and so he kept his eyes closed and let it happen. The consequences of his actions he was prepared to take for this little bit of peace.
-o-o-o-
Floyd didn't wake him. He slept on the couch alone with an extra wad of money in his pocket for services rendered and a small niggling thing in his heart called guilt.
He had almost finished clearing up when Spencer finally showed his face.
"You should have called me."
"Uh hu – maybe – but you were still sleeping."
"I would have liked to have helped though."
"You did in your own way babes. Come here and have a good morning hug."
He took a step backwards. "I need a shower."
"No babes – come here first. Shower after."
Spencer walked slowly towards him. "Floyd…."
"Don't talk just get over here."
Reid could see by the way Floyd was standing that his knee was bothering him today. He walked closer until Floyd reached out and grabbed him by his bathrobe.
Spencer just stood there with his hands by his side as Floyd's hands snaked behind his head and pulled him in closer.
"A good morning kiss Spence." He whispered in Reid's ear but the fear that Floyd would smell someone else on his skin and in his hair was making him shake.
It was a lip crushing toe curling kiss. It stated out on Spencer's mouth but soon began its journey southwards. He felt the hands now slide up under his robe. One hand gently rested on his hip and the other reached around and held him close.
Spencer placed his hands on the top of Floyd's head and twisted his finger through his hair as he tipped his head back and closed his eyes. If Floyd could smell someone else on him – it didn't seem to be bothering him at all.
He showered alone. He could now. Floyd seemed more and more determined not to wash. Reid had even mentioned that he missed their joint adventures in the shower, but Floyd refused. There was a few things he didn't like doing now and stripping off was one of them. Spencer didn't know when the last time it was that he had seen Floyd even topless.
After the shower he pulled his bath robe back on and went to the lounge. He grabbed a book and flopped back on the couch and opened the first page. A book he hadn't read. Floyd found it for him and he was looking forwards to reading it. He had been told no more than a chapter a day. He swivelled around so that his feet were on the couch and pulled his knees up to his chest and rested the book there.
Something made him look up. Floyd was standing in the corner of the room just staring at him. His arms down at his side and his head slightly to one side.
"Floyd – what's wrong?"
"Oh babes nothing. I was just thinking – you fancy going out tonight?"
"Where do you fancy?"
"The club. I want to go to the club." He just stood unmoving in the corner.
"I really would rather not go there."
"I know – but you will anyway."
Spencer looked down at the book and read it in just under twenty minutes. He placed it on the couch next to him and looked up to see Floyd still standing in the corner watching him.
"What are you doing? Come and sit with me or something." Spencer moved over and patted the couch.
"Spence – do you hate me?"
Reid looked back up at him. "You know I don't hate you."
"So you forgive me then?"
"Forgive you for what?"
"The past. Things – stuff."
"I forgive you. Now will you stop creeping me out and come and sit."
"The future?"
"What about it?" Spencer wrapped his arms tightly around him.
"If something happened. Something you didn't agree with. Do you think you would ever forgive me?" He started to walk towards the couch limping slightly.
"How can I say I will forgive something which hasn't happened yet? I can't say I will." Floyd sat next to Spencer and rubbed his knee.
"I would like to think that you could."
"Well I have a pretty bad track record when it comes to bearing a grudge."
"So you could maybe forgive a future transgression."
"I would think so." Spencer ran a finger down the side of Floyd's face. "But if you are going to smack me around – just do it gently."
"Babes…"
It seemed to Spencer that he had something he needed to say. Floyd seemed almost sad? "OK – we will go to the club, but I'm not going up on the balcony and I don't want you wandering off."
A small half smirk. "Thanks babes." He picked up the book he got for Spencer. "Was it any good?"
A smile and a nod. "Thanks yes."
-o-o-o-
He was wearing: (for a change) a white shirt but no waistcoat. He had on suspenders with his jeans and a chunky old belt. The shirt was without a collar and Floyd had doubled a length of pale blue silk around his neck and tied it loosely at the front. He had on an ancient much repaired pair of black boots and leather fingerless gloves. Floyd had his hair tucked behind his ears where it hung almost to his collar in dirty greasy strings. He looked dirty and tired.
He was wearing: black mesh sleeveless Tshirt and low cut black cords. He also had on black boots. His hair had been washed and he was having a seriously bad hair day. Floyd had insisted that it was not his hair people would be looking at…not with the fine arse he had.
Spencer stayed close. He knew they would be looked at. Stared at. The last time they were here Spencer had swan dived from the balcony onto his head. The last time he was here Spencer thought he was dead. But the music thumped and the dancers danced – and the paid dancers got money stuffed behind their underwear and although this was not a place Reid would ever have chosen to visit a few months ago, now he could almost relax.
They got a few looks but Floyd spoke in Spencer's ear and told him it was purely because he was the hottest thing here and nothing to do with smashing his head open on the dance floor. They got a drink of beer each and leaned on the bar taking in the atmosphere of the place.
"Dance?" Floyd had his arm around Spencer's waist. Reid looked at Floyd and put his bottle on the bar.
They walked hand in hand Floyd leading the way out to the dance floor. Spencer put his arms around Floyd's shoulder and Floyd in turn put his hands down holding onto Spencer's hip. The music was fast and hard and bouncy but they just held on tight exchanging kisses on the necks and lips.
Another pair of hands suddenly joined in but Spencer didn't see the look Floyd gave this other person. His eyes were closed just enjoying the moment. The new hands wear resting on his bare stomach and the new mouth was licking and kissing at the back of his neck. Spencer groaned softly as the two men pulled in closer the hands moving and exploring his body. A hand sliding down the back of his cords as another moved up his chest drawing small circles on his skin with what felt like long sharp fingernails. When the second person moved away again Floyd moved Spencer back up against a wall. A small frown crossed his face and he turned quickly to look behind him. When he turned back Floyd moved his hands up so he had one on either side of Spencer's face and he looked deep into his hazel eyes.
Spencer looked back into Floyd's dark eyes. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing babes…just wanted a good look at you. In case I forget."
"Forget?"
"Uh – yes. Forget it Spence." And he ran his tongue across Spencer lips. "Let's get out of here."
"We only just got here – I thought this is what you wanted to do."
"Yeah well a girl can change her mind. We need to go. Now."
"I would like another drink first."
"We can go to the bar down the road. Move it now."
He took Spencer by the forearm and started to pull him away from the wall.
The thumping of the music and the jumping and shouting of the dancers at first disguised what was going on. The first Reid realised something was wrong was when Floyd suddenly lurched into him and then the person standing next to him suddenly didn't have a head. He felt Floyd sliding downwards pulling Reid down with him. He was shouting something Spencer couldn't hear. The music still thumping the people screaming – he hit the floor with Floyd who wrapped an arm tightly around him. They curled into each other as now the music stopped and all they could here was the fire from a couple of automatic weapons and the screams of terrified and injured clubbers.
Reid felt Floyd slowly move so he was laying over him. "Keep still babes. Play dead."
Spencer who was laying on his side could see the blood spreading over the front of Floyd's chest. He slowly moved a hand up and touched it. "Oh god you've been shot."
"Hush. Keep still. Close your eyes babes. I don't want them to see you."
Spencer lay on the floor slowly getting wetter from the blood oozing from Floyd – who was whispering calming words to Spencer who was breathing in short sharp breaths.
"It's going to be fine. Just keep still stay quiet – the cops will be here soon. I'm here – don't worry. Just stay calm and keep still."
The automatic fire had stopped now. Floyd could see someone moving amongst the people laying on the floor. Some of them they turned over to see the faces. They seemed to be looking for someone or a type of someone. Every now and then someone would shout out and a gun would fire.
"Floyd – I can't lay here and listen to people getting murdered. Get off me – let me talk to them."
"Shh – be quiet. Are you mad?"
"Please get off me. I need to try to talk to them."
"It's not your job to do that anymore. Your job is to….." He didn't finish his sentence. A hand grabbed him by his waistband and pulled him back away from Spencer. Reid looked up at the barrel of a gun. He lay staring at it wondering why Floyd wasn't attacking.
"Get up." The gun pressed against his forehead. "Get up and keep your hands where I can see them." Slowly – very slowly Spencer got to his knees and then to his feet. He tried to see what Floyd was doing, but a quick glance out of the corner of his eye and didn't let him see. He could hear the sound of fist on flesh but it was happening out of his visual range. The gun was still pressing against his head as the tall blonde guy smiled at him. Spencer heard the safety being released on the pistol and he closed his eyes ready.
"Oh you silly boy – I'm not going to kill you. Not yet. Not this quickly. I am going to have a lot of fun with your first – and your little friend isn't going to be able to do a thing about it." A strong waft of cinnamon and honey met Spencer as the man grinned. "We always have the best of fun when we go clubbing don't we Spencer. Now move along. We haven't got all night." The man turned to look behind him. "Bring him. We don't want to leave our rubbish behind."
A/N: Ok….don't really know about this….tell me if you want this continued …or shall I dump it and start something else?? Pb
