Author's note: Like my other Red Dwarf fanfic, this one takes place during season 8, sometime after Casandra but before Only the Good. it's got a bit ofslash slant, but you can read it either as true feelings coming to the surface, or just a guy missing a close friend of his.

i don't own Red Dwarf or its characters. this is merely an expression of a fan's appreciation.

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Otherwise: A Tale of Two Rimmers

By Li Izumi

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Part 1

When he was being honest, Rimmer could admit to himself that he wasn't the best with technology. After all, he had continuously failed his astronavigation exams and had been stuck in a dead-end job as a glorified vending-machine repairman for much of his life. He had learned to pilot well enough over the years since his death, but it wasn't like he had much of choice when there was only his hologram self, Lister, Cat, and Kryten left aboard the Red Dwarf. If he hadn't learned to handle the Red Dwarf and its shuttles, Blue Midget and Starbug, who would? (Well, ok, he had only done any real piloting after his light bee had been converted into hard light, as soft light holograms couldn't touch anything. But he had learned how to work things even before that conversion.)

So he had learned to manage well enough, but he knew he wasn't a genius or anything. Therefore, it wasn't any surprise to him that he had little idea how the ship he was on actually worked.

Fortunately for him, the dimension jumper had a very intelligent computer who was able to handle most of the regular activities, such as jumping dimensions or standard repairs. (The only problem being that the computer had been in love with the last Ace Rimmer, and didn't care so much for this Rimmer. And that was yet another indication, as if he needed another one, that Rimmer was having a difficult time trying to fill the role of Ace.)

Still, despite not know quite how the ship worked, Rimmer had gathered some general sense of it. Whenever he dimension jumped, the ship seemed to generally hone in on the location of where that dimension's Rimmer existed.

Time was also a bit strange. Sometimes the ship led him to a dimension where Rimmer had been living back on Earth, while other times it would lead him to deep space, where the Red Dwarf still plodded along three million years after its crew died in that radiation leak. Rimmer couldn't tell if the ship moved him through time as well as dimensions, or if different universes moved at different paces.

Some dimensions were quite similar to the one he left. Others weren't the slightest bit recognizable. But Rimmer continued on, acting as Ace to continue Ace's mission to seek out new dimensions and to help as he could.

And that was the problem, really. No matter how many missions he went on, how many people praised him, or how many women threw themselves at him, Rimmer didn't FEEL like Ace. He felt like he was only playing a part. He wasn't Ace Rimmer; he was just acting like him.

He felt as if he was completely alone in a crowd, or as if he had food in his mouth but couldn't swallow.

It was a dreadfully lonely feeling.

Granted, he probably should be used to such feelings. After all, he had felt alone all his life. He grew up in a home where his father was distant and constantly disappointed, his brothers tormented him, and even his own mother didn't love him.

Now he was getting praised and adored, but it wasn't him. It was only the role he was playing that everyone adored. They didn't know the real him. They didn't care about who he was.

And yet, there had been one person who had cared in some way for the real him. Someone who had stood by him despite everything that he had done.

Lister.

It was odd really. Neither particularly liked the other. They were complete opposites, and had got on each other's nerves from day one. And yet, they were forced together as roommates.

It wasn't until Rimmer's death, when Holly had brought him back as a hologram, that the dynamics between Lister and him had started to change. After all, it was just them. Nobody else was left alive.

They had become some sort of team, though Rimmer hadn't thought of it like that at the time. Admittedly, his selfish tendencies and natural cowardice sometimes made him a bit less of a team player. Still, the team had become very important to Lister, and he made an effort to keep it together.

In fact, Lister had gone out of his way several times to save Rimmer's life. Even after Rimmer just might have kind of abandoned Lister and the others to a psychopathic simulant to save himself, Lister still came after and rescued him from the planet Rimmer had been stuck on for several hundred years.

Even though they didn't really like each other, Lister really was the best friend he ever had, and the person who cared the most about him in his entire life. It really was odd how it had worked out.

And now, the further his travels took him, the more Rimmer found himself longing to return to the one place that had become his home. He tried to ignore it—he was usually quite adept at ignoring thoughts and feelings he didn't want to think about. And yet, at random moments, the desire to go home would nearly overwhelm him.

Finally, after resisting the idea for as long as he could, Rimmer announced to the computer that they were going to return to the dimension in which he had come from. It was time to head home.

……………..

Rimmer couldn't stand the feeling he got in the pit of his stomach when the ship jumped dimensions. It was like something was reaching inside and stirring up his innards. The first few times, he had to struggle not to become ill. Now, he was just left feeling nauseous and dizzy for several minutes after each jump.

When his equilibrium had returned sufficiently, Rimmer peered out the view screen, searching eagerly for the familiar shape of the Starbug. He was quite surprised when he saw the Red Dwarf before him instead.

He was even more surprised when the familiar head of Holly appeared on the computer screen. It wasn't just surprising to see Holly again—they had lost Holly when they had lost the Red Dwarf all those years ago—Rimmer was also shocked to see that Holly had returned to his original male appearance, rather than that of his lost love Hilly.

"Hey, Dude. What's happening?" Holly said with his normal nonchalance.

"Holly!" Rimmer exclaimed excited, completely forgetting that he ought to be using his Ace voice. "They found you again!"

"Is that you, Rimmer? I hardly recognized you there."

"Well, various things have happened…"
"Yeah, same here. Actually…" Holly looked a bit concerned. "A lot has happened here."

The nauseous feeling in his belly had changed over to a tight knot of unease. "Is something wrong Holly?"

"It might be better to explain over here on the Red Dwarf. But we'll have to get you in here quietly, to keep your presence hidden from the main Red Dwarf computer."

"I thought YOU were the main Red Dwarf computer, Holly."

"Yeah, about that 'lots of things have happened here' thing…Look, just follow my instructions and I'll sneak you in and explain everything on board here, ok?"

The knot had doubled in size. He was no longer merely uneasy but fully afraid. "Has something happened to Lister!"

"He's well enough, I suppose," Holly said impatiently. "It's taking up all my abilities just to keep your ship off the main radars, so you think you might hurry things up a bit?"

His unease increased. He had returned to the right dimension, hadn't he? But the situation was vastly different from what it had been like when he had left. What was going on with the Red Dwarf? Had something horrible happened? Was Lister in danger?

…………….

Rimmer paced nervously in the bunkroom that Holly had led him to. He anxiously wondered again if he had made some sort of mistake in the dimension jumping and had entered a different dimension than he had intended.

First there was the Red Dwarf itself. Simply, it didn't even look like it used to. Then there was this mysterious section of the ship that he had no previous knowledge of. A prisoner colony? On Red Dwarf? Holly mentioned as he directed Rimmer that this prison had been top secret, even to most of the officers, and none of Lister and Rimmer's previous wanderings throughout the empty ship had led them any where near the section, therefore it had remained unknown.

It was just too strange. Perhaps this wasn't the dimension he had come from. It was immensely different from how he had left it. And yet, strange occurrences seemed to thrive with the Red Dwarf.

Still, what was Lister doing in the brig? This room was smaller and more uncomfortable than their original room, let alone the officer's quarters they had moved into. That meant that someone had probably put Lister in the brig. But who? Cat was a gimboid, but that wasn't his style. Kryten adored Lister, though as an android, perhaps somehow his programming had been changed? Maybe it was whoever had stolen the Red Dwarf from them?

But then, why was Holly, the ship's main computer, desperately trying to keep Rimmer's presence on the Red Dwarf hidden from the ship's main computer?

After directing Rimmer to the bunkroom he had said was Lister's, Holly said he would send Lister over to explain what had happened. Rimmer would soon have the answers, and know for certain if this was the right dimension or not.

Rimmer continued his pacing. How long had it been since he had left? Months, or perhaps years? It was hard to know, with all the dimension jumping he did, and the strange way that time moved in various dimensions. Obviously a bit of time had passed in this dimension. But how much?

Rimmer found himself fidgeting. Should he leave the Ace wig on or take it off? Should he speak like Ace or talk normally? The Cat and Kryten didn't know he was really Rimmer, so he concluded that he would have to act like Ace if they were with Lister. But what if it was just Lister…? How should he act then?

Several minutes had already passed since he entered the room. Surely Lister would be along shortly. Rimmer found himself at a loss as what to do with his hands. He smoothed his hair a bit, and made certain the Ace wig was properly secure and in place. What should he say when Lister came into the room? Something dashing, he supposed.

"Hiya Skipper. Long time no see, eh ol' boy?" Rimmer drawled like Ace as he posed in front of the mirror.

He looked like a git, Rimmer thought with disgust as he looked at his reflection. What was wrong with him? Why was he feeling so nervous? He took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He needed to be suave and cool.

Another deep breath, and another. Ah, that was getting better. He was calm. He was cool.

"What's the deal, Holly?" Rimmer started at the familiar voice as it approached from down the corridor. "Why is it so important for me to go back to the bunk? So important, that I even have to miss the weekly movie? They're showing revenge of the teenage mutant vampire surfer girls!"

And then there he was, standing in the doorway just as Rimmer remembered him. Well, ok, he was in a prisoner's uniform, but beyond that…

"Hi, Listy," Rimmer squeaked.

"Hey, Rimmer," Lister nodded. And then he did a double take. "Rimmer! Is that really you!"

Trying to recover his cool again, Rimmer didn't trust himself to speak again, so he merely nodded.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be off, having grand adventures?"

His botched greeting meant he couldn't use his Ace voice now. Still, he could try to sound cool. With feigned nonchalance, Rimmer shrugged. "Well, you know how it is, every day a new adventure, a new universe to save. Needed a bit of a vacation, so I thought I'd drop by, see how the ol' crew was doing." Dropping the smarminess out of his tone, Rimmer continued as a touch of the nerves he was feeling reached his voice. "What's happened here, Lister?"

"A lot," Lister admitted. "It's a bit of a tale." Lister indicated that Rimmer should sit down at the table in the center of the room, and Lister sat in the other chair opposite.

Lister recounted the past year's activities since Rimmer had left. He explained how Kochanski had joined their crew when she got stuck in their dimension. He related their adventures fighting rogue simulants and trying to get away from the missus and other gelfs that they had run across. He told Rimmer how he had gotten infected by a deadly virus, and had his arm cut off.

Then he explained how Kryten's plan to use his nanobots to restore Lister's arm led to their finding of the Red Dwarf—altered by the vagrant nanobots and left as scrap as a new planetoid.

"And so when we finally got them to cooperate, the nanobots completely rebuilt the ship according to the original specs."

"So that's why the ship looks different," Rimmer nodded in understanding.

"Yeah."

"But what are you doing here? In the brig, I mean."

Lister looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, about that. See, when I said the nanobots completely rebuilt the ship, I mean they really, completely rebuilt it. …Including all the crew."

Rimmer's eyes widened. "What? You mean they're all alive again?"

Lister nodded. "Yeah. Selby, Petersen, and me mates are all back. Hollister's back. Everyone's back."

"That's incredible!" Things were starting to make sense. But there were still some things he didn't get yet. "But why are you in the brig?"

"For various reasons. But mostly…well, you know how when we were all alone on the Red Dwarf, we went through all the crew's personal files?"

Of course he did. It had been his idea. He had wanted to find out what Hollister had said about him, and then they just went on from there. It had been something to do, on the empty ship.

Rimmer nodded, and Lister continued.

"Well, that sort of came out. And so me and the others got sentenced to two years in the brig."

Rimmer smirked. "I always knew one day you'd end up in the brig."

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, smeghead. It's not like I'm alone in this. YOU'RE in the brig too."

"Ah, but Listy," Rimmer said in full smarmy-mode. "I'm just visiting you. Holly snuck me aboard, so nobody else knows I'm here."

Lister shifted uneasily in his seat. "Um, yeah. So you're just visiting, right?"

Rimmer gazed at Lister curiously. What was with his reaction there? There was definitely something odd.

Rimmer averted his eyes and ran his finger along the edge of the table distractedly. "Well, I figured I'd come…home, for a bit of a break. I don't know how long I'll stay..."

"I…see."

Rimmer glanced at Lister again. He was definitely uncomfortable with something. What was he thinking? Could it be… could it possibly be that Lister was disappointed that he was only just visiting…?

"I…" Rimmer said softly. "I missed you."

Lister was looking solidly down at his hands folded in his lap. "…I missed you too…" He took a deep breath and continued, "I mean, I am glad to see you. It's just…"

"Listy, what on earth are you doing back in the bunk? They're playing your favorite movie this week…"

Rimmer started as another Rimmer entered the room. The Rimmer in the doorway came to a complete stop, his eyes wide as he noticed Rimmer sitting next to Lister.

"What the smeg is this!"