I was bored and it's a snow day so I decided to do a little one shot. I guess I've been in a weird angsty mood lately… maybe it's all these damn tests and projects these teachers are clumping together//sigh// Oh well, I guess I'll somehow survive.
Warnings: Major swearing and some really cruel jokes because Sasuke is delirious and needs a hug.
Disclaimer: I won't even be able to own Naruto when hell freezes over so what's the point of this? Oh, and the song belongs to Nickelback… sadly…
Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
I can't stand it anymore! Somebody… anybody… please! Get me out of here!
……
What's the point anyway? Nobody will even try to save a backstabber and a threat to their village. It's been… how long?
Too long.
I lost track after the seventeenth day. Never in my life had I felt more alone than this. He's right there! And yet… he's so far! My mind's going insane! I have to get out of here!!
My mind is barely registering anything around me… My body often moves on its own. That's how I found out that I'm losing it. I can feel my arm moving on its own accord again. It's the only thing that is able to move now, the rest of my body can barely move once a day.
Damn arm! Just stay still for once!
And there it is again. My hand is wrapped around one of the many thin poles that stand in front of me every waking moment.
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
Crumpled on the floor with my hand resting on the same pole it always does, I take an intake of breath as I try to lift the upper part of my body. No use. I'm too weak. Ironic, isn't it?
I go to that bastard for two years to get stronger and am taken back by force to which brought my to this freakin' hell hole, only now I'm weaker than before! At first, it wasn't so bad, and I would always ask the same question everyday to the guards who would bring my rotten food (if they call that shit that). Usually, I wouldn't get a reply, sometimes I'd even get a small grunt as my answer, but they never truly answered my question.
One day, I think it was my fifth day, they did answer me, but it wasn't the answer I was looking for. In fact, it's the answer I had dreaded to hear, the answer that made me feel as empty and weak right now. I wouldn't eat, drink, nor sleep no matter how much they tried to force me to. The guards succeeded once, or so they thought. I spat it out as soon as they left. They may know because of the cameras but why the hell would I give a damn?
After that day, I just wanted to die but the guards didn't want that. Said something about living up to my punishment and that death was too good for me…
Fuck them!
Why should I listen to them? They won't care that I'm out of their hair and they won't have to bother with me, no, they just want to see me suffer. That's their satisfaction, seeing me live a painful life that is slowly diminishing.
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Every day, I slump on the ground right in front of the bars with a hand on one pole, waiting. Hoping against all hope that maybe, just maybe, the Gods weren't so cruel.
I see shadows moving, back and forth, back and forth. Sometimes, it dizzies me but I always catch myself and remind myself that it's just the swinging lights. My first thought when I first entered this hell hole of a basement: Typical.
It's another reminder of criminals who are able to move around up there and swing those lights without their knowledge, even just a little, because they don't have a cell the basement. This place has many floors, but I don't know how many because I was never given a grand tour, all I know is that the least threatening criminals get the cells on the top floor and the more dangerous ones get the basement. Unfortunately, I got the basement, which is as rotten as hell!
Never, in my entire life, have wished more than anything that I could take it all back, start from the beginning, make a few changes and then it probably would have all turned out better then this. Scratch that: it definitely would have better than this.
Sometimes, it gets so bad, that I even wish that I never came back a stayed in that village with that asshole of a snake. But then I remember his strange leers and even his advances. I shiver at that thought.
Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
With all my struggling, I was only able to get up to my knees and now both of my hands are holding the bars for support. I'm breathing heavily and can't seem to catch my breath. Well, I guess that's what you get for not eating or drinking for days on end.
I hear footsteps coming this way and hope that it isn't a guard that is here for me and for that guy who was in a coma for who knows how long and still is. Don't know about the reason and I don't care. But, thanks to my luck, the guard stood in front of my cell. The Gods up there seem to be laughing at my expense.
"Uchiha!" The booming voice of my guard can be heard throughout the entire basement and echo off the walls. I glance up at him to see the scowl, as usual, in place. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder if his face is always like that or if he's scrutinizing me. I bet my life it's the former. Oh, look at that, I lost, looks like I get to die. Yay! "It's time for your lunch!"
Lunch already? It seems like a only an hour ago when he tried to force breakfast down my throat. Or did I happen to fall asleep and it was my dinner he tried to do that to me? Looks like I'm going to have to use all my force again and get tired afterwards… again.
I look at him bored and emotionless. Don't ask me how I pull it off, my face, along with my arm, has a mind of its own.
My guard doesn't seem too pleased with my expression, too bad; he has to see it because I'm too drained to pull another one. So, HA!
He unlocks the door to my cell and comes in with a tray of gump. That's the only way to describe it as, it's gump! As soon as he enters, he looks the door, probably remembering the first few days of my imprisonment and escape plans including tying him up when he enters.
"You want me to force feed you again." It wasn't a question. We've gone through this routine so many times that it's hard to keep track. "As long as you don't start asking me that same damn question you kept asking me when you first got here." The fat man started chuckling at his own little joke that I didn't care to lash out at. What's the point? I know it got annoying hearing the same question every day, non-stop. That doesn't mean I care though, I'm aware of it, but I don't give a damn what he thinks of my useless questionings.
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
Flashback
Day 1
Although I'm not going to admit it but this position hurts! Could you please let lighten up on the arms? They aren't supposed to bend that way.
Looking up, I see dim lights swinging back and fourth… Typical.
I walk past a couple cells that either reek or have criminal in state of dying soon. Of course, this isn't some free walk; I'll be joining them down here in my own cell. Not like I have a choice with that damn guard bending my arms the wrong way and forcing me to walk forward. There's no point in escaping anyway. One, his gigantic body blocks the four foot wide hallway, leaving little room for me to squeeze by. And two, every floor up has at least ten guards, if not, more. Some are even ANBU.
If I didn't have these shitty cuffs that are sucking my chakra away, I'd probably be able to beat them all up without breaking a sweat.
We stop in front of an empty cell. He unlocks it and throws me in, uncaringly. I land ungracefully on the cold rock and glare back at the asshole.
"This'll be your home for a long while." His mustached lips extend the word 'long'. "Might as well get used to it, traitor." Even though a part of me tells me to stay quiet, I decide to ask him my question again.
"Where is he?"
The guard doesn't need a name, I had asked him earlier and already knows who I am talking about.
Instead of answering me, he smirks and spits at my feet. Then he leaves the cell, locking the door on his way out.
"You'll be getting your dinner in a few hours."
Day 2
Drip…… Drip……… Drip… Drip.
This place is so annoying! That dripping sound is going to die!! And they still haven't taken off these damn cuffs! What's the point of these cuffs when these bars in front of me do the same thing?
My stomach growls slightly but it's still so loud because of the silence (except for that blasted drip). The guy in his cell diagonal from me smirks at my obvious hunger. I ignore him.
Footsteps are gradually getting louder and we both get out of our glaring contest to see the guard is here with my food. What is it? I don't know. As long as it fills me up.
"Here you go, traitor." It seems he's created a nickname for me. Wow, how threatening. I roll my eyes as he opens the door and sets the tray down. I'm still kneeling when he unlocks my cuffs but as soon as he does, I dash off to the open door. I almost make it, until I feel someone grab my ankle and yank me down. Then, to my displeasure, that fucking guard sits on me!! I scream profanities at him but he doesn't get off. I quiet down then he gets up and closes the door.
"There will be no more of trying to escape." I grumble under my breath at his smirk. He might've won the battle but he sure as hell did NOT win the war. I sit on my hard-as-rock bed to eat my gump. That's it! I now officially name this shit, gump!
As I finish my food up, I ask the fatso the same question as yesterday.
"Where is he?"
This time, he just grunts, picks up my food, and leaves. Sadly, he doesn't forget to lock the door on his way out.
Luckily, he didn't handcuff me again.
Day 5
Five… freakin'… days!
Five freakin' days and I am about to go ballistic!
Everyday I have been getting the same gump. Everyday I've been asking the same question. Everyfreakinday I've been getting the same damn-it-all answer!!
My escape attempts stopped yesterday because he seems to actually learned from his past mistakes and now locks the door when he enters. Pfssh! Like that's going to stop me.
Just on schedule, here comes that guard of mine. And just like yesterday t dinner time, he locks the door when he enters.
I open my mouth to ask him my question but he cuts me off. "Don't even bother asking anymore, traitor. It seems to me that he doesn't care anymore about you." I glare at him, disbelief written all over my face. My glares don't ever work on him, I know, but it's the only way I can hide my emotions on the inside "I don't care if you don't believe me, Uchiha." He sneered. "I asked around. He doesn't ever want to get near you, he despises you. Something about betraying his trust. I don't blame him, if I were him I wo…" I tune him out as my mind races from all the times we had together a little more than two years ago.
I don't blame him, either…
I don't want to see myself.
End Flashback
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Hurry I'm fallin'
That's the last day I could remember before every day turned into a bid smear of colors and everything seemed like it held no value.
The food, sleep, and even…
My life.
Vaguely, from the corner of my eye, I see him set the tray down on my unused bed. Really, if someone's planning on dying some way or another, what's the point of a bed, no matter how uncomfortable it is?
Looking away, I glance out of the cell watching the shadows move, again, because of those swinging lights. That is, until I felt someone grab my chin, roughly may I add, and turned me to face the guard who was getting the gump ready. The other random person tries in vain to open my mouth but I clench my jaw shut. If anything, I would have to say that my jaw is my strongest body part.
The person behind me is getting really mad, I could tell by the way he's getting more rough. And the other guards that walk by from time to time wonder why I have a bruise on my chin and on my forehead. Heh. If only they knew. On the other hand, if they did, they probably would want to help.
"Lets go, Uchiha! Time to get that food in that empty stomach of yours!" They're trying to poison me! I know it!! Get your fucking hands off of me and let me freakin' be!!
Damn! They were able to open it a few millimeters and the guard jabbed the spoonful of gump into my mouth. I try spitting it out but with no luck. The guy behind me covers my mouth, tight. He won't let go until I swallow. Fine, I'll swallow. I gulp and wait for him to remove his hand. He does and I spit the food right into the guard's face. You'd think they'd know about that by now.
The guard takes a few steps back, swipes the saliva covered gump off his face and growls at me, baring his teeth in the process. "You'll pay for that." I look at him, bored. By the looks of it, he gets angrier at the expression I just pulled off. He's going to have to try a lot if he wants different expression from me.
Placing the tray along with the others, uneaten also, they leave with a slam of the door left in his wake.
Whatever.
He can slam all he wants, that still doesn't change facts.
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh, I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
A few hours have probably passed since lunch and I haven't moved an inch since then. Sure, I moved once, but that was right after they left to get into this position. There's a step-down in front of my cell that let's my left arm hang as the left side of my face is leaning on one of the bars for support. My right hand is wrapped around the bar in front of me and my right leg is curled on top of my left, which is also curled.
I might actually get a bruise on my cheek for leaning so hard on the bar. Yippee! Another bruise to add to my collection on my face! Maybe if I get enough bruises, I could die from them. Is that even possible? If it isn't, I don't care because I'll make it possible.
Here come the footsteps again. Please don't be here for me. I just want to lie here and die. Is that so much to ask? These damn guards don't know when to quit!
The footsteps stop, but it's not in front of my cell, they stopped next to mine. Funny, that cell doesn't have anybody in it. The one on my left does, but he's in a coma. The one diagonally to my left also does but he's ignored me as much as I ignored him so who cars about him. But the one on my right is empty. Are they here to enter another person?
Oh well, it doesn't involve me, and I don't care, as long as they leave me alone. I close my eyes, not giving a damn about my new neighbor. My eyes slightly scrunch as I hear a door squeak open. Hmm, that sounds like my door. I open an eye to see a shadow of a person standing in front of me. They must have snuck the rest of the way so they wouldn't disturb anybody. But why?
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Hurry I'm fallin'
"Sasuke…" The voice was of pity and sorrow. Hah! Who would pity me? Not even the Gods would! But then my mind registers the voice and I start freaking out.
"No…" My voice sounds groggy from days of not using it. "No, no, no, NO! Why…" I can tell that my voice sounds broken now. How can this be happening? My mind's starting to play tricks on me. This happened a lot when I was with that asshole in Sound but it stopped after awhile.
Why…
"Why can't I just die in peace?!!" I dash away from the image in front of me and sit in the back corner of the cell. My legs curled up in front of me, arms wrapped around them, and head resting on my knees. I try to get the 'person' in my cell out of my mind. I start hyperventilating until I hear the soft steps in my cell coming towards me. Freezing up, my eyes go wide at the hand that rests on my shoulder and I scream until the hand goes away.
Incoherently, I mumble to myself, to calm down. "It's okay. I'm only dreaming. It's only a nightmare. It'll all go away shortly and my mind won't be doing this anymore. I mean, there's no way he would be here. Especially with that kind of treatment he treated me with. Why would he? He despises me…" I'm going crazy. I know I'm going crazy. It's not that hard to tell.
Only people who are going crazy begin to see people they care about the most when they aren't supposed to.
"Sasuke… stop this." There's that voice again! Why won't it go away!!
A couple minutes pass and there is no movement. I calm down enough to get my mask back on but it's still wary because I can still feel his presence. Why can't my mind stop this image? It's not fair! This is too cruel. This is one of the sickest jokes the Gods played on me so far.
All of a sudden, I feel arms wrap around me and I break down crying. Forget the mask, this is too much. My heart can't take it. "Why…"
Why are you here?
He doesn't say anything as he continues to comfort me and I continue to grab onto his shirt as if my life depended on it. And it did, because if I let go, he'll go away and never come back.
"I don't despise you Sasuke." This was the first thing he said after my break down. I sniff to try to rid my tears and look up at him. He loosens his hold so he could see me but I tighten mine.
"Then… why…" I can't finish because I still can't believe he doesn't hate me.
"After we got you back in our village, I was… afraid to see you here but after a couple days of my recuperation (1), I got enough courage to come and see you, but then Baa-san assigned me a mission that I just came back from."
I was relieved but I was still confused. "But… the guard… he said that you didn't want to see me anymore… and that you despised me."
His eyes get hard and he frowns. "I guess I'll have a talk with Baa-san about her guards around here." There was a cold edge to his voice.
I look down in shame and close my eyes, once again tightening my hold on his shirt. How can I be so foolish? No that I think about it…
There's a hand on my chin and I wince at the pressure and move along to where it's leading me to look. I find myself looking in to sincere blue eyes. He rubs my chin a bit and I try not to wince. But he notices and in the dim light, notices the bruises on my face. He then surprises me by scowling at them.
"Did they do this to you?" I look away, or at least I tried to but he wouldn't let me so I avoid eye contact. "Sasuke, look at me." He sighs when I don't and asks me his question again.
Hesitantly, I answer. "They did…" He scowled some more but before he could jump up, I finished. "But it was because… I wouldn't eat." I don't know why, but whenever I'm around him, I just want to be sincere and blurt out all my secrets without having a care in the world. It was like I trusted him with my life.
We didn't say anything for awhile and I was afraid he would do something. I was almost hoping he would because this silence is suffocating me. I glance up at him to find that he was looking at the uneaten trays full of gump.
"I can see why… but still… why?" The question I was dreading he would ask. It's not that I don't have an answer, I do, it's just… I'm afraid of his reaction towards it.
Well, here goes nothing. "When that guard told me those things," I can tell he's still mad about that. "I saw no point in living because you wouldn't be there."
I waited for something… anything! Something that would show me he understood my meaning and that he hated me for thinking that way.
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
"Sasuke…" He surprises me again, but this time he's caressing my cheek, the one without the bruise. "You baka." If the caressing surprised me then this definitely shocked me; all of a sudden I feel pressure on my lips and stared wide eyed at the blonde in front of me. His eyes are closed but then he moves back into his position before and I still haven't let go of his shirt.
"Who says you can die? I sure as hell didn't say that." His voice is stern and I can tell that he is mad at me. I give him a soft smile, my first smile in many months.
Fatigue is washing over me from the lack of sleep and I learn into his chest, never letting go of my grip on his shirt, and start falling asleep. But, before I do, four words escape my mouth so small that I'm not sure if he heard it.
"I love you… Naruto…"
I can feel him smile and fall right to sleep, but I wish I hadn't just yet because the vibration in his chest was the last thing I felt, I couldn't hear what he said, but I know it was something that made me smile the rest of the night as I slept.
GAH!! Took me FOREVER to figure out how to end this! Can anybody think of what Naruto said? It's really simple actually.
Anyway, please review and thank you for reading!!! XP
