Hyoutei-Seigaku…gone horridly wrong.

So…uh. This was suppose to be a spoofy-spinoff-ish thing of the official match between Hyoutei and Seigaku….but uh. It took a few interesting turns as we continued drinking our Dr. Pepper (PURE IMPERIAL SUGAR CANE BABEH …oh look Imperial YAY IMPERIAL HYOUTEI!!!) but uh…point is. The plot kind of changed. So, to give you a small idea of what's going on:

Hyoutei and Seigaku are suppose to be playing a friendly match. Fuji's still bitter about Jirou beating his brother, but y'know. It's Fuji. He likes holding grudges. ….But um. Things start taking interesting turns from this match. Enjoy!

….What happened to this being a short one-shot fluff?

…OH GOD IT HAS CHAPTERS TT-TT!!!!


"I will destroy you for publicly embarrassing my sweet little brother." Fuji glared across the court, stepping back to take serving position. Faintly he heard his brother yelling in the background, "BAKA ANIKI! URUSAI!" Though he paid little mind to it. The lines that really caught his attention were the ones coming from a certain player on his team…one he thought he'd known well up to this point.

"NYA?! FUJI NU! THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!!"

At that, the entire Seigaku team turned and stared, jaws dropped at the public announcement. Even Fuji was starring, eyes wide open, at his best friend, "…Ei…ji…?...You're kidding right?"

The acrobat blinked, looking at the others, "Nyao? ….I mean…uuuh…eh-heh…oopsies."

Jirou, at the time still half asleep, looked at the rival team tiredly, "Wha's goin' on?"

On his own team, Atobe was starring in disbelief at the red head. He was kidding. He had to be kidding. Maybe he'd just heard wrong. He'd just make sure….

"…He's….what?"

"…My…uh…good…friend?" Kikumaru grinned cheekily, rubbing the back of his neck nervously and scooting towards his doubles partner, "Everyone knows I'm going out with Oishi…eh-heh."

"NANI?! EIJIIIIIIII!"

All eyes turned to the usually narcoleptic player, who was now wide awake and on the verge of bursting into tears, "YOU SAID I WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND!"

"NYAO! JIROU, WE'RE SUPPOSE TO KEEP QUIET ABOUT THAT IN PUBLIC—"

"HE'S YOUR WHAT?! KIKUMARU." Everyone turned to Atobe, most surprised by the lack of the usual smug smile being replaced by a look of pure annoyance and loathing. "When the hell did that happen?!"

"Uh…a couple of months ago…." Kikumaru muttered, eyes shifting nervously, before he cringed, as Jirou again pipped in, still on the verge on of crying, "Liar! It was two years ago and you know it!"

"Jirooooooooooooou! You're gonna get me in trou—"

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Atobe growled, pointing at the red head furiously, "RELENQUISH YOUR CONTROL OVER JIROU! NOW!"

"THE HELL WHY!? I MAY BE YOUR COUSIN BUT YOU DON'T CONTROL MY PUBLIC…slash…LOVE LIFE…THING!"

"WRONG! As I am a member of the main family, and you aren't, you are under MY CONTROL!"

"NU-UH!" With that, Kikumaru bound across the court, diving at his boyfriend and clinging protectively, "MY JIROU!" He proceeded in patting the boy on the head, with a smirk that would have normally been on Atobe's face, "It's ok, Keigo's just being jealous And bitchy! …Even though I coulda sworn that was Mukahi-san's job—"

"OI! I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE, PRAT!"

"BITE ME!"

"I'd say his partner's more of a bitch. He stole my move." Fuji put in.

"Good point. THEY'RE BOTH BITCHES." Kikumaru declared, cringing when Atobe jumped back into the conversation and glared.

"KIKUMARU!"

"FECK OFF KEIGO."

"….What's going on?" Jirou asked, once again falling asleep to the soothing pets to his head and losing all focus. Atobe twitched, and Kikumaru gave him a final pat, "Nuthin! You just focus on your match with Fujiko!"

"We're not finished here, Kikumaru!" Atobe snapped.

"I'd say you are." Fuji hissed, hands on hips and glaring in annoyance, "I'd like to finish this. And I get to yell at Eiji first."

"HOI!? What'd I do?!" The red head looked over his shoulder tearfully.

Fuji stared a moment, then gave in with a sigh after a barely five second mental battle of not breaking under the kitten stare, "…Fine. "Talk" later."

"…Oi! Hold it!" Momo interjected as the shock finally wore off and pointed at Oishi, "I thought you were going out with Kikumaru-sempai!"

At this, the Golden Pair looked at each other, then away, blushing, and Oishi attempted to scoot away from his team, "Er…we never said we were…."

"But…but… …I'm confused." The power player looked between, then at Kaido and Echizen, "Did you guys catch…any of that?"

Both shook their heads, as Inui began explaining in simple terms, "Kikumaru's never gone out with Oishi. They're just good at doubles play, which is something we need in Seigaku. ….As to who Oishi goes out with…." Inui looked at the assistant captain with a frown, "I've yet to figure out."

"I…uh…ano…y'see…well. He's uh…."

"But there is someone." Fuji asked, now distracted from the match and more interested in his teammates personal lives.

"…He's uh…"

"Did he come to watch our match?" Momo asked suddenly, prodding at his sempai with a grin, "You should introduce us to him!"

"He's not here!" Oishi said quickly, his face beet red.

At that, Fuji looked at the racquet in his hand thoughtfully, then back at Oishi with a sadistic grin. Idly, he waved the racquet, as though signaling he wanted the match to continue and someone should come drag Kikumaru off the court. As he'd wanted, only Oishi saw the gesture, or at least looked far into it.

"NO! LIES. HE'S LYING!" Oishi panicked, while Fuji giggled, "innocently, "I didn't say anything Oishi I was asking you to come grab Eiji so I could start my match."

Jaws dropped once more, and all eyes went straight to Oishi, "SERIOUSLY?!"

"…er…."

"Hi guys! Sorry I'm late...my doctor's appointment ran...late...why's everyone starring?"

Gazes shifted to the new voice, and Momo pointed, flailing where he stood, "Kawamura-sempai! You…Oishi-sempai….WHAT?!"

Kawamura stared a moment, then blushed and looked at Oishi sheepishly, "I thought we agreed not to tell them?"

"FUJI DID IT!"

"No I didn't!" Fuji smiled innocently, waving at his occasional doubles partner, "How's your hand Taka? Better I hope? It'd be so unfortunate if it were more than a minor wound…sprains can be so annoying given certain situations, you know." As Fuji went on embarrassing both, Oishi turned to Tezuka, whimpering, "Please make him stop. You're the captain, he'll listen to you, right?"

Tezuka stared for a moment, then sighed, "There's only one way to stop him at this point, and I'd really rather not—"

"I don't care make him stop!" Oishi wailed, clinging tightly to Tezuka's arm pitifully, "Please make him stop?"

Again, the captain stared, before sighing, and shaking his head, "Very well. I warned everyone though." With that, he pried his groveling assistant captain from his arm and walked onto the court calmly.


Post AN:

HellRaiser:...THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE SHORT. IT'S ALL IO'S FAULT. BLAME HER.

Iori: ...No it's not! It's the soda!

HellRaiser: ...Good point. ...WHY DOES THIS HAVE CHAPTERS? IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A SHORT ONE SHOT! ...heeeey...if you put 'to be' together you get 'Tobe! YAY ATOBE! ...Right. Um...

Iori:...-smacks- >. Get back to work!

HellRaiser:...This is the slave driving co-writer you've heard so much about.

Iori: LOVE MEEEEEE! ...NOW WORK!

HellRaiser:...-grumbles and slithers away- Yes 'am. ...WE HAVE TEN PAGES. WHY IS THIS SO LONG?!

Everyone: WORK, DAMN IT!

Iori:...-puts on Tatsumi costume, complete with fake glasses and a paper fan- ...

...X3! -puts on her Watari costume- BWEHEHEHEHEHE! -complete with 003 plushie!- ...I'm going. -crawls-