Note: Please please PLEASE, before you shoot me, read all the way to the end. It will make sense, I swear!!!
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All was quiet on board the Massive. Drones scuttled about the halls, bringing trays of food and drink to Council Members or the Tallests, who relaxed in their lounge chairs. Tallest Red was checking and re-checking his datapad, looking for the notes he'd written a few minutes before. Purple was staring at the door with a dreamy expression.
"Is he really coming, Red? Are they really bringing him back?"
Red glanced up, and patted Purple's claw gently. "Don't worry, Pur'. They assured me it was him. He'll be here any minute."
An angry shout disrupted the quiet of the ship, followed by scuffles and cursing. Two armed Irken soldiers burst into the room, dragging in a struggling third party. Wrapped in robotic PAK arms, a young human screamed and kicked, chocolate-colored eyes darting everywhere behind huge glasses.
Purple rose to his feet, eyes misting over and a hand reaching out in longing, but Red stopped him with a flick of the claw. "Patience Purple, we have to explain. It'll be a shock at first, you know."
With that, Red stood as well, and dismissed the drones. They unbound the boy and darted from the room, not wanting to be near the hyuman a second longer than they had to. Red hovered in front of the child. It backed away, eyes wide and filled with fear—but also defiance. Red's chest swelled with pride.
"Dib. It's been a long time."
Dib scooted further back, his chest heaving. Red moved forward.
"Let's see, the last time you spoke to us was when Zim was away on business, and you stole his monitor. Your dance with that SIR unit was… amusing. However, now there is a very important matter you must know. It requires your permanent stay."
"Wh-what? What are you talking about? I can't stay here, I belong on Earth!"
Red opened his mouth to speak, but Purple shoved him aside and wrapped stick thin arms around Dib. "No, you're never leaving my sight again, never!" Long, spindly claws ran through his hair as the Irken kissed his head repeatedly. "My son… I'll never let you leave again."
Squirming, Dib slipped from Purple's grasp and darted to the far wall, panting. "You-you've gone insane… gotten those brain-worm-thingies Zim talks about."
Red frowned disapprovingly. "Purple's not insane, Dib. I am your father. And Purple is, what you Earthlings would call, your Mother."
Dib clutched his stomach and howled with laughter. Sliding down the wall, he wrapped his arms around himself, attempting to control his mirth. "That's… that's just dumb."
Purple's lip trembled and his antennae drooped. Red rested a tender claw on Purple's head, and glared sternly at Dib. "We're not lying, son. You were kidnapped several years ago by an Earth scientist. How he got past our security, I'll never know. But we would always receive holovids and messages showing the awful experiments he performed on you. With each communication, you looked more and more…" He turned his head away, and Purple finished his sentence. "Hyuman. Less Irken."
Red's lips curled in a snarl. "If I ever lay eyes on that sorry excuse for a professor, Membrane, I'll shred him with my bare claws."
Dib squeaked, "You can't do that, he's my Dad! My real Dad, not you!"
Purple pleaded, "Dib, your DNA matches ours, I promise! I mean, the experiments screwed it up a lot, but there should be some traces of the original left!"
Dib grinned. The situation was just too comical. He wiped away a mirthful tear and asked, "If I prove I'm not your son, will you let me go?"
Purple looked at Red anxiously, but Red nodded solemnly. "Of course." He snapped his claws. "Drones, bring a portable lab for Dib." ………………………………………………………………………………………………
Exhausted, Dib raked his fingers through his limp scythe. He'd spend hours with every possible device in the portable lab, testing his skin, blood, hair, saliva, urine, and fecal samples. In every single one, there were undeniable traces of Irken DNA. He banged his head on the marble-top counter, clenching his eyes. How could this happen?
He opened his eyes and spotted Purple hovering nearby, a wistful look on his face. He groaned inwardly, fighting back the urge to vomit. He didn't even want to think about how two males could have conceived him. Assuming Purple was male…
Defeated, he raised his head and mumbled blearily, "I hate my life."
He was promptly tackled by Purple in a rib-crushing hug. "I knew it! I knew you'd find the truth, oh Dibling, I've waited so long, my smeet!"
Red squatted, getting on eye-level with the rather disturbed boy. "And there's more. You have a few other family members to meet. You already know one. We're still trying to pull Gaz out of Professor Membrane's clutches, but the other one—well, you'd never guess."
Dib looked up, looking ill. "There's no possible surprise you could spring on me that could shock me more than I already have been."
A thin smile spread over Red's face. "In that case, meet your little brother. Invader Zim."
Zim strode into the room with his usual, pompous air, and put on a manic grin. "I knew you were too smart to be hyuman. I knew all along!"
GIR popped up from behind Zim. "No ya didn't."
"SILENCE! I am a GENIUS!"
Dib screamed in horror. The room spun around him, colors and shapes losing definition, before he slipped into darkness.
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Note: It will make sense! Just bear with me, one or two more chapters, and it will make sense! Oh, and thank you P.A.W.07
for your constructive criticism. I will try to be more descriptive in the future.
