~Author's Note~
Newly re-written. This is one of those stories that I've always been intrigued by, always wondered how exactly I came up with it. There's a lot of meaning in-between the lines in this and it's a mature type of story.
Rated Teen for slight language and mature scenes.
Notes: Based off the song Crazy by Gnarls Barkley (song lyrics removed for safety).
s-a-n-e
Jack remembered that day so clearly.
The day he lost his mind.
It didn't mean anything to him; he knew it for a while. His family knew it since he was born, his friends knew, his girlfriend knew.
It didn't change anything; it didn't change his emotions, his thoughts or speech. He didn't lose control of his body, or his figure.
But it did change his view on the world.
Being crazy meant nothing, especially if no strangers knew and you acted normal.
If you acted fake and hid your true self, no one would point fingers.
No one would gawk at you as you walked down the hallways in school, people wouldn't stare, and your hands wouldn't be sweaty with worry.
Everything would be bogus, and fake is normal so nothing would be disturbed or changed. But if people knew, if the world knew, you would be put in a strait jacket and thrown into a mental hospital. Some people deserve this and need this, to slowly learn right from wrong and wrong from right.
But others, that one percent of crazy that isn't even known, don't need that.
They know too much.
That's it.
That's how Jack was.
That's how Jack is.
They won't randomly murder people, steal or any of that. They just know too much and other people believe that it is the same type of crazy as all the others.
But it isn't. It's too special and too rare to be so cruel.
But, unluckily for Jack, it didn't work out that way.
He told a past girlfriend about his type of crazy. She overreacted and dumped him within five seconds of his reveal. The fifteen year old boy had gone home that night, emotions bouncing around his mind and begging to be set free. Jack didn't allow them though, he kept them locked up and kept himself crazy.
It was best for everyone; at least he had predicted that.
One year later, Jack had fallen for his best friend. His past girlfriend was forgotten and now he just needed to get his mind onboard as well to ask Kim out. It finally happened, in late March of that same year.
Kim Crawford was officially his.
She was his girlfriend, and any guy that stared at her for more than ten seconds got a death glare and Jack even allowed some of his raging emotions out to rip those certain staring guys a new one.
Jack told Kim about his craziness, and she didn't think of him any different.
She loved him too much by then. He loved her the same way, maybe more.
The blonde teenager was shocked at first of course, but after that—she never mentioned it, unless Jack did first.
Another year had passed and Jack had almost forgotten completely about Donna, his past girlfriend, and how he told her about the craziness.
Everything was going fine until that day.
That day where he lost his mind and the world saw to it.
Kim and he had come to school that day, Jack stealing kisses from her and whispering sweet nothings into her ear, giggles escaping her mouth nonstop while their hands stayed intertwined the whole time.
All their happiness had stopped instantly after they both read the posters covering the hallway walls and saw the police and adults in white coats waiting by the doors.
Donna was talking to one of the cops, giving a fake report about how Jack's craziness had caused him to do things to her and then have no memory about it afterwards.
Dishonest tears filled her eyes as her precious mascara raced down her cheeks, voice cracking at her vile words of cruelness. On all the posters, there was a picture of Jack and the word 'CRAZY' in big, bold lettering. Donna's fake report present in random spots on the posters, words like 'HURT' and 'FORCED'.
As soon as Donna's eyes locked on the two love birds, she allowed more fake tears to fall and pretended to cower and flinch back a little at the sight of Jack. This caused the cop she was talking to give her a confused yet weary look, and she knew her plan was working.
She pointed at Jack, making her body shake from twisted happiness. "T-That's him! That's the m-monster!" She shouted with a hidden smirk underneath her features. Everyone turned to stare at Jack, the few cops slowly placing their hands on their gun eloped in the holster; just for fake reassurance.
Jack's grip on Kim's hand tightened, and his girlfriend could hear his heavy breathing and almost feel his racing heart from the pulse in his hand that now seemed to exist.
One of the white coats slowly started to approach Jack but the teen took a step back, bringing Kim with him. The cops surrounding them started to pull their guns out, afraid the 'crazy teen' was about to do something outrageous.
The doctor that tried to approach the two spoke, voice firm. "Mr. Brewer I'm Doctor Blake. Now we don't want any trouble, we simply want to help." Jack gave him a death glare but the man ignored it and his eyes wandered over to Kim and then down to their interlaced hands and his gasp was caught in his throat.
He was trying to figure out how the girl wanted to be so close to the monster, but then Dr. Blake looked back up to her face and into her eyes. He could read the fear in them before Kim had time to shield her emotions from the stranger.
It all clicked at once for the doctor, a fake answer that he believed to be true.
The monster of a teenager was forcing the girl to stay with him so that he would appear more normal to wandering eyes like the doctor's himself. He let out a shaky exhale at how much more dangerous Dr. Blake thought Jack was.
The real reason Kim was scared was because she knew that the police and the doctors and Donna would stop at nothing to get Jack in the nut house. Her eyes held fear because she was afraid she was going to lose her boyfriend to the clutches of the criticizing world.
She didn't want that, she loved him too much to lose him for who knows how long. The doctor was completely wrong, but no one knew the truth so what else did the people have to go with?
Dr. Blake looked at Kim with slight fear in his eyes that both Jack and Kim saw.
"What is your name?" He asked Kim with a less firm voice then before, this voice was quieter; more frightened about a false answer as to why Kim was with Jack. Kim looked over to Jack and he chuckled dryly, causing everyone else in the hallway to look at him.
"Why do you need to know her name? So you can drag her to the loony bin too? Hell no!" His voice was angry towards the end and made Dr. Blake plus some of the officers flinch. The doctor looked back to Kim and then side-eyed one of the cops.
"Please tell us your name sweet heart. We just want to—"
"Don't call her sweet heart!" Jack growled, cutting Dr. Blake off and getting at least three pistols aimed at his head.
They were still holding hands and Jack loosened his grip a little bit so his fingers were movable. He tapped one finger on the inside of Kim's palm to get her attention and then three fingers. He moved them all again so just one was there and he tapped her palm once again. Jack was telling Kim that on three they were going to bolt and Kim understood completely.
"Now, now no need to be mad. I'm sorry but since I don't know her name I can't really do anything about it." Dr. Blake swiftly answered, calming down the tension in the room from Jack's last outburst. Jack tapped another finger on Kim's palm, signaling two. No one could see what Jack was doing because the outside of Kim's hand hid his fingers.
"Stop being a smart ass," Jack responded angrily, "you aren't getting her name!"
"Her name is Kimberly Crawford. She's dating that m-monster!" Donna yelled from her spot behind the doctor, calling Kim by her full name on purpose. Jack mentally cussed her out as his emotions joined in, all of them wanting to break out again to painfully attack Donna but Jack, being the gentleman he was cursed with, didn't allow them out.
This wasn't the place or the time.
Dr. Blake looked back at Kim, awestruck. "I-Is this true?" He stuttered out, shock engulfing his body about how the twisted monster known as Jack forced the poor blonde to date him, which still wasn't true because it was Kim's choice and love that made the answer for her.
Jack tapped a third finger to Kim's palm.
He grabbed her hand tightly again and turned for the door, darting out and dragging Kim with him. She was soon running beside him at the same pace as he led the way to the back of the school and behind some brush.
They were both breathing heavily as they heard the screams from the doctors and cops all at once, their minds both racing for once.
After they both calmed their breathing, Jack spoke angrily in a quiet voice. "God damn it! I am such an idoit!"
Kim looked at Jack and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "How did they find out Jack?" She asked, knowing by the guilty look in his brown orbs that the brunette already knew the answer.
"I-I . . . It—" He ran a hand through his hair and Kim knew he needed to calm down or else they wouldn't have enough time to talk before Jack was towed off. Kim could already hear the voices getting closer to them.
She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his in a soft and loving kiss to calm him down and it worked as he kissed back. They pulled away for air as Jack sighed, "I . . . I dated Donna about two years ago. I told her about the craziness and she completely freaked out. She dumped me in five seconds flat and I haven't talked to her since then. But I know she's the one who told. She knows it will land me in that damn nut house and she knows it will tear me away from you Kim."
Kim gently kissed his cheek and smiled at him. "You didn't know Jack, don't worry. It will all work out."
"Kim, they are probably going to keep me in there for years! Freaking years Kim! I-I can't be away from you that long."
The voices came closer. "We have now." She replied softly as she moved closer to him.
They could both hear the cops searching through the brush next to them as Jack lowered his voice even more to answer the blonde beauty sitting in front of him.
"Now isn't long enough,"
Jack smashed his lips to hers and his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him and deepening the kiss all at once. Kim kissed back at once, her arms snaking around his neck and her hands playing with his bushy hair. They pulled away from their passionate kiss once air became needed, and Jack pulled his girlfriend onto his lap, knowing this would be the last time he would hold her in a while.
She rested her head against his chest for a moment as his arms moved around so that they were wrapped tightly against her stomach. Jack pressed soft butterfly kisses to her neck while happy shivers ran down her spine. He stopped and few moments pasted. Jack could now see the officer's head above the bush.
He tenderly kissed Kim's forehead and loosened his hold on her so that when they pulled him away from her, the roughness wouldn't hurt her as well. She allowed some tears to fall as she moved her head so that it was buried in his chest, her hand finding his and giving it one final squeeze.
From then on, it was all a blur for Jack.
His crazed mind screwed up all of the memories after that, probably not wanting to remember anything that had happened after that.
All Jack knew now is that it has been two years since he has seen Kim and her flawless face.
A year since he had seen the outside of his room.
All he saw now was bright white walls surrounding him four ways, a white jacket strapped on his body and white coated people.
But, even with all the white surrounding the nineteen year old boy, Jackson Brewer hasn't changed.
He never will.
The crazy will never leave this place; never leave him or his mind.
But, Jack would.
He was going to leave.
"So how are you feeling today Jackson?" Dr. Blake asked with a smile as Jack ate his evening dinner. Jack fake smiled before he shoved another piece of sandwich in his mouth. After swallowing and pushing his tray towards the doctor a little, he shrugged.
"Same as always," He took a sip of his water, "bored." The doctor chuckled at Jack's dead pan in an attempt to lighten the mood.
"Well I'm sorry about that Jackson, but to heal you need to heal—"
"Naturally." Jack finished for the doctor as he nodded and smiled again while Jack sighed quietly to himself.
Seriously, having the same doctor repeat the same phrase everyday got pretty annoying over time.
Now the real answer—the doctors thought that if they let patients read or watch TV or do literally anything, it would give them some sort of an idea on how to be different and escape—and no one wanted that.
"So," Jack said; breaking the silence, "when am I gonna get out of here?" Dr. Blake looked at him and laughed a hearty laugh; like as if Jack had just said a funny joke instead of a serious question. The teen sent him a small glare but the doctor didn't seem to notice as he wrote down something in his notebook.
"Oh Jackson, you crack me up too much." Jack wanted to punch him, how could Dr. Blake think Jack's question was a joke? "Let's just say that you are going to be in here for a while. We have to make sure the crazy is gone completely and if even a little bit remains, it could take over again. We wouldn't want that happening, now would we?"
Jack faked another grin and shook his head.
"No, I don't think so doc." Lying to the doctor everyday was now a natural reaction from Jack. Hey, Doctor Blake did say you heal naturally so Jack is naturally lying as a second sense. It works if you think about it.
The doctor stood up, pushing his black hair out of his emerald eyes. His tall frame always stumped Jack, how the man even fit under door was a mystery . . .
"Alright Jackson, I will see you tomorrow—as always."
They call me the freakin' lunatic, Jack thought as Dr. Blake walked up to him and held out his hand, this damn freak says and does the same things every day!
Jack shook his hand as two other people came in with Jack's jacket in hand. Jack mentally rolled his eyes at the sight.
"Goodnight doc."
"Goodnight Jackson,"
Dr. Blake left with a smile and Jack wanted to gag at his happiness. The two men put Jack's strait jacket on, helped him sit on the floor in the middle of the room and then left—the door slamming loudly behind them.
Jack waited a few hours, until it was in the middle of the night, one in the morning at least actually.
Thoughts of Kim flooded his mind; they probably put her through brainwash camp to make her forget about him. She was out of touch from him, but he knew even through all that crap . . . they both still loved each other with all their hearts.
Jack started to make his escape as his girlfriend's face stayed planted in his mind.
Jack was still as crazy as ever, but same as before—being in there for a year didn't change him and it wasn't going to. Jack threw his jacket off in the middle of the street, hoping a car would run over it to erase it from his existence and to at least add some color in it.
In his option, the whole loony bin needed a colorful remake. Jack chuckled at his own stupid thoughts, like as if any of those would ever happen.
Kim flooded his mind again as he headed to Kim's house, clad in only bright white sweats. Jack had refused to wear one of the white shirts; he wasn't going to be their doll.
No way.
But it was also because his mind, his crazed mind, had come to hate the color white. Jack was sure that if he had even attempted to put on the shirt, all of his emotions would come out without waiting for permission and the teenage boy would be thrown into solitary.
Well . . . he already sort of was, but he couldn't think of anything worse.
So Jack didn't allow the shirt to go on the top half of his body because he knew his crazy too well.
The crazy knew him too well.
As Jack stared at Kim's window from below, he wondered if she had loved her life more or less without him in it.
Would she be glad to see him or pissed?
Of course Jack knew their hearts both belonged to each other, his crazed mind always reminded him and made it so.
But that was just love; what about emotions?
What about life?
What about actions?
What about fear?
Love was part of it, but the rest of it was the truth.
Jack looked over and saw the tree he always climbed to get in her room late at night when she would text him saying she needed him because she had a nightmare or heard a noise outside. He would be over in less than five minutes and they would cuddle all night, Jack's arms wrapped around her in a protective way and her head either buried in his chest or resting on top of it.
Now don't get it wrong, Kim wasn't a coward—she in no world was weak. They both knew she wasn't weak, hell, everyone did.
But every time she did that, it was mostly to be with Jack.
Jack didn't complain, who would?
It showed how much Kim wanted to be with Jack, so much that she wanted him to stay the night with her almost every night and then sneak him out before her parents would wake up. Now that—that is true love.
Jack and Kim both knew it was too.
Jack walked over to the tree and put a hand on the cold bark, just feeling it for a moment. He looked around and took in all of the colors; the darkened sky, the vibrant green grass, and everything else his eyes wanted to look at.
His mind was sick of seeing white.
Jack didn't want to see white in his life again and as soon as he could, his white pants were going to be ditched somewhere too.
The brown haired boy started to climb the tree, one branch at time. He still knew which braches were about to break and which had another thousand years of living.
Arriving at Kim's window, he checked to see if it was locked and was surprised to see that it wasn't. She was still waiting, still hoping that one day Jack would come through her window to soothe Kim of her fake nightmares.
He smiled at her thinking and slowly opened the window, knowing the creak that came with it would usually wake Kim up before to signal that he was there to comfort her about the nightmare or scary noise.
This time though, she didn't wake.
Jack noticed this as he jumped through her window and landed softly on her rug. The boy gently closed the window behind him and grinned widely at the sight of his sleeping beauty.
By the tear stains on her cheeks, Jack knew she wasn't having the time of her life with him away.
Jack deliberately got closer to Kim's face and then when he was close enough, he pressed a loving yet kindhearted kiss to her lips to wake her up. She slowly opened her eyes and when she saw her caring boyfriend above her, she thought for a moment she was still asleep and pinched her own arm to make sure he was really standing there.
He was and the blonde allowed the tears to fall from her eyes in happiness.
She threw the blanket off and launched herself at Jack, the teenage boy catching her and wrapping his arms around her tightly.
She buried her head deep into his chest and sobbed quietly, so happy she was with her lover after all this time apart. Jack slowly rubbed her back and just held her tight, kissing her forehead as he mumbled reassurances in her ear while her blonde hair was like a halo to his drained eyes.
They stayed locked in that hug for who knows how long but when they finally pulled away from each other, it was only just enough for them to crash their lips together in a heated yet loving and longing kiss. Her hands then headed back up to tangle in his hair as she tugged on it a little to show she wanted some control, but he wasn't going to have that.
Jack pulled away when air was needed and wanted to kiss him again but she wasn't in control.
Jack was.
He pulled away to look at her and smirk at the effort she was using to try and get their lips to reconnect again. He spoke, voice low and husky. "You really think you're in control?"
She looked at him and glared at him, "If you don't kiss me, I will be in control for sure Jack,"
She threatened as he finally gave in and allowed their lips to connect and move in sync once again.
They now were laying in Kim's bed, Jack in one of his spare t-shirts he had left at Kim's house from a while before while his arms were wrapped security around Kim's waist once again—just like old times.
Kim was facing Jack as her hands played with the collar of his navy blue t-shirt. They both had unremoveable smiles plastered on their faces, as the other's company gave the other hope.
"Jack?" The blonde whispered after a while, looking into the brown orbs she had learned to love and miss so much.
"Hmm?"
"How did you get out?" Jack's smile went a little brighter as he told her his creative answer.
"Well I know you had started to turn crazy without me here. So since you are now officially crazy, I'm back to be your other half and show you how to live with it." Kim just looked at him, a love sick emotion appearing in her doe brown eyes.
"Just crazy about you Jack," She muttered in reply and that was all he needed as permission to press his lips to hers once again.
"I think my mind is happy on its own for once," Jack said, breaking the tranquil peace about thirty minutes later. Kim lifted her head from his chest to give him a look.
Jack chuckled at her expression and explained, "My mind is usually always doing some type of stupid crazy thing to be like someone. That's how I'm crazy—that's why I'm crazy. Because all of the emotions want to break out to be like that person; to either hurt someone or most likely rage at someone like they want to do all the time. I always have to keep them locked in but right now, they aren't trying to break out. They aren't screaming for mercy or pleading for bail. They're . . . normal . . ."
The word rolled off Jack's tongue in a questionable tone and Kim just nodded, understanding completely shockingly.
"I actually know what you mean Jack. The emotions, they just want to break out and prove that they're different. So they scream at you to be let out so they can show they're true self but we keep them locked in."
Jack looked at the girl for a moment.
"You know what I just figured out Kim?"
The teenage girl in question looked at Jack like a little kid, because she wanted to know the answer so badly.
"What did you figure out?" Jack chortled at Kim softly as he cupped her cheek and brushed her hair from her eyes.
"You are damn crazy, just like me." Kim looked at him a second more in confusion before it all clicked.
"Is that why we love each other so much?" She uttered out as he beamed more, "because our crazed minds love each other?" Jack nodded and held her tighter as she buried her head back into his chest.
"You know I love you Kim, no matter what." Kim nodded into his chest and whispered back her response in a lax tone.
"I love you too Jack, and now we will be sharing a room in the loony bin."
"To which . . . " Jack started to kiss her neck again as she squirmed a little from his actions, " . . . I am . . ." he stopped and looked into her eyes again. " . . . happy to do."
They kissed again and knew that would be the last night they would spend together alone, without doctors hounding them and their arms barricaded in bright white jackets.
But who said they wouldn't run away first?
They were both crazy after all, maybe even too crazy to a few.
But, crazy is the new normal now, isn't it?
