OK this has been an idea for years. I finally put it on paper. I hope it makes you laugh!
My head throbbed like someone had hit me round the head. I opened my eyes and could make out a blury outline of a bottle of hyper-vodka. The fact I'm lying naked in an unfamiliar room suggests I've slept with someone who isn't the Doctor. I just hope it isn't some two headed green slime that picked me up in a bar. I turn to see who's lying next to me, well at least he's handsome is the first thing I think.
He's muscular, has good bone structure and stunningly white teeth. He's awake, he shoots me a smile. I have no idea who he is and don't remember anything about last night. "Well you were energetic" that's the first thing he says. He has a thick American accent.
"That's a given" I retort.
"You don't remember anything do you?" he laughs.
I shake my head. The man gets up leaving me in the bed. Within ten minutes he's gone. I get up and have a shower, dress and then leave.
Two years and one wedding later
The man looks sickeningly familiar "This is Captain Jack Harkness" the Doctor introduces him.
The man smiles a wide smile and says "I think we've already meet"
"Yes I rather think we have" I smile back.
"Umm rather lost" the Doctor says bewildered.
"Shall I tell him or will you?" I ask Jack.
"I will" he says "Well years ago me and River had a one night stand" the Doctor was nodding along.
"To be perfectly honest I don't actually remember it" I confess.
"Allow me to fill in the gaps" Jack says, it's as if he's forgotten the Doctor's here "We meet in a bar, I got you drunk. We went to a hotel and well things progressed. Don't worry you were quite willing"
"I don't get drunk" I say raising an eyebrow.
"Well not easily" the Doctor mumbles.
"You didn't get drunk on your own; I gave you some very strong vodka" Jack confessed " Then we headed to a hotel. I must say Doctor, River here is a firecracker"
"I know she's my wife" the Doctor said almost proudly "And I expect you only fraction of what River can do"
"Ok sweetie no need to compete, everyone knows I'm better when I'm sober" River told the Doctor.
"Well in the morning River couldn't remember anything or who I was. I barely said two sentences to her then left" Jack said.
"Always the gentlemen aren't you Jack?" the Doctor jeered.
"I'd got what I wanted, so I left" Jack said frankly.
"Please remember I am an educated woman not a piece of meat" River interrupted.
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