Contravene. It means to breach a code of conduct. The word is not used that often in everyday conversations. Primarily, it is used in a law enforcement setting. Therefore, I think it only fitting that I apply the word, contravene, to Jane and myself. To help her, I must allow a part of me that I keep secreted away, to surface. I must become one with it so that I may save her and in return she saves me. It is only the cases that are too gruesome to think about outside of work that push her precariously to the edge. The edge where her inner demons gain strength and taunt her until she returns to her own nightmarish darkness made up of real life monsters. Her monsters' that cleave her soul and feed from her life-force until the light in her eyes has been all but extinguished. When she is on the verge of breaking, she comes to me. It is within my power to take her darkness. Afterwards, we put each other back together so that we may be strong yet again.

At my home, I prepare a ham sandwich with lettuce, tomato and cheese for her. I wrap it and put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. Her beverage of choice is milk. For all the beer she loves to drink, on nights like tonight there is no room for even the slightest intoxication. To do so would give way for the possibility of diminished sensations and that just would not do. I need Jane to feel everything that I do to her body, both pleasure and pain. I stand in the kitchen, checking that everything is in its place. I hear her unlock the front door with her key. She turns lacking her usual swagger to shut and relock it, including the night dead bolt that can only be opened from the inside. Angela's habit of brazenly intruding in on my mornings with Jane forced me to take this step. As I am thinking of this I check the back door to ensure that the night bolt is engaged there, also. I watch Jane make her way to me. I open my arms and gather her in a hug. She turns her head into my neck and pulls my scent into her lungs with long deep breaths. I freely admit I love this part, also. Not only do I find it erotic to know that my scent is what she craves first and foremost, the added kisses that are so light that she places on my neck is a turn on as well. After her need for my scent has been slaked, she turns and sits at the kitchen island. I get her sandwich plus milk out and set it before her with a napkin. While she eats I start divesting her of her clothing. I pull her jacket off first. I move to her belt and take her phone and service weapon. These nights are the only times she allows me to handle it. I place both items in the handcrafted teak lockbox I had made especially for her. When I return to her side once more, she bows her head and waits for me to begin.

I thread my fingers through her hair, moving my hands, massaging her. I slide my hands to either side of her head and using my thumbs to gently push against her high cheekbones, so that I may look into her eyes. When we connect I see the rawness there. Gone is Detective Rizzoli, in her place is Jane. The one who was broken, the one who hid behind words that flamed as hot and deadly as fire and brimstone, only to sear anyone who foolishly thought her weak.

We are in the bedroom. She trembles within my demanding embrace. I seek out every recess of her psyche, to make sure every part of her, no matter how minute, has been touched by my quintessence. I plunder the darkness that has waged war on her. Taking it, absorbing it and neutralizing it with what makes up my own darkness. Make no mistake her demons are evil, but what lives within me is the darkest of evils. My monster is me. When Hoyt summed me up in his own few words, I was both sickened and elated. For once, another person had seen the true me, what I found sickening was that it was Hoyt. In those few seconds after his utterance, how I craved to feel my hands become slick with his blood. I retrieved my favorite scalpel from my doctors' bag. Standing from my chair I ordered Agent Dean to hold him down. As I walked towards Hoyt I allowed my beast to surface. To my amazement and joy, Hoyt never broke eye contact with me. He tilted his head back and smiled at the pleasure of seeing himself reflected within me. It was almost as if he would deem it a worthy execution if I plunged my blade into his carotid artery and allowed his blood toempty from his body. In the next second I had once again chained my beast and sent it back to the depths where it howled and raged against me. My will is stronger and before too long it was again locked away.

Tonight with Jane, I allow my beast gorge to itself on her. Only that part of me is able to withstand the malevolence that rises within her at times like this. I use sex to cover its actions. With every bite her demons begin to fade. With every lick I cleanse her. With every thrust of my fingers, I spark the light that begins to shine in her eyes again. By the feel of her body, our battle is nearing its end. This is a precarious time for me. I must satiate the call of blood for both myself and my beast. To do this I must balance the pain from my bite with the pleasure of an orgasm. If my timing is off, she will be hurt and I will have no way to coax my beast back into its slumbering darkness, leaving humanity at its mercy. I focus again on Jane. I am thrusting into her harder. Fucking her brutally. Her nails dig into my shoulders, I growl at the pleasurable pain. Harder, faster I push her into her, her orgasm is seconds away. When I feel the torrent of wetness jet past my fingers I know it is time. I lean forward quickly and sink my teeth into her right shoulder. A coppery tang blossoms in my mouth. It is her, it is Jane, her essence, but most of all it is purging what is left of the darkness within her. I withdraw my teeth and gently lick the wound as my beast licks her chops enjoying the sweetness of Jane's essence. I will my beast to rest. As she relaxes so does my body. My eyes slowly shift from black to hazel. As always Jane brings me closer to her. Her warmth surrounds me, her kisses ground me.

Once more we have breached the code of conduct as it pertains to best friends. However, by committing the act of contravene we have saved each other.