A dark cloud

Rating: T

WARNING: ALTERNATE UNIVERS: AU I AM NOT TAKING HBP INTO CONSIDERATION. HORCRUX DO NOT EXIST. THAT IS NOT THE WAY TO DESTROY VOLDEMORT and this IS SLASH (or at least slash implications later on).

Summary: People have secrets. Some more than others, and some more dangerous than others. James had a secret. A secret love. A secret dream. A secret child. A secret that changes everything for Harry; a secret that makes him question the father he was told about.

Key: Italic- Flashback
Italic bold -Letter
Normal- Present time

Prologue


Remus unfolded the letter in his hand; the parchment was so old it felt like material in his fingers. He recalled being given the letter so clearly and reading it over and over until the words were almost imprinted in his mind. Yet, since then, he hadn't read the letter for over 9 years. It had remained at the bottom of a trunk full of items handed down to him. It was a special connection he shared with one of his oldest friends, a secret kept only between the two of them. Almost like a bond on some level; a piece of knowledge that his friend knew only he would understand.

Like a dark cloud.

A skeleton in a closet.

A piece of information, an existence that could destroy so much.


Remus unfolded the flimsy letter; grey orbs scanned the fainted writing and as he read on, the words became so much more familiar.

Remus,

For years now, I have had this feeling of impending doom. It has been like a dark black cloud has fallen over my world; my life. Now as I look back, I recall so many moments when I have made wrong choices; bad choices; choices that could ruin everything I have established so far. There are so many wrongs that I would like to fix, so many betrayals that I wish I could change.
It occurs to me that I was so young, and even now, I still am. I am still on the path of making so many wrong choices that feel so right. Making wrong choices that I can not afford, especially now. Now at a time of great dire, when one single wrong choice can cost so many innocents their lives.
I write to you because I feel that you are the only one who will ever understand; because you are the one who has supported me through out this time; the only one who held sympathy and did not judge me on my choices, even if they may have been so wrong and had horrible consequences...

The writing went down to the bottom of the page. Remus closed his eyes and set the letter down, taking in a deep breath. When he could call upon the courage to continue to read, he turned the parchment over and scanned to the bottom of the page.

The letter seemed like the result of the years the four of them had considered so perfect. As youths running around free, calling the world their own. A world that moved when they wanted it to, that ran along side them. Moving, twisting, turning, spinning whenever they wanted it to. Youths that believed life would never change; remain a single memory forever.
They were smart, so clever that time would stop for them, in that one single moment, holding it there forever, an everlasting piece of youth; a youth that was theirs. Their world. Their fantasy. A legacy that was theirs to call their very own. They never foresaw that events could take such a horrible twisted turn. That things could go so wrong; that their lives could take such a downward plunge.

Remus took in a deep breath and read what seemed like a whole lifetime ago. Something that was so far away, so distant that it seemed like a story that had been told to him some time in the past. He skipped almost a page, and began to read the last two paragraphs written.

...It's almost like a dream, Remus. I wake each morning and think to myself 'maybe it didn't really happen. Maybe things are going to be alright'. When did things change? I wake each morning, hoping that I'm back in the golden years of our lives. When it was just the four of us, and things were so clear. Yet now we're here; in war ridden England and things have just gone that little bit more wrong.
She doesn't know of the child, Remus, and she will not know of it. Eleanor will raise the child. Raise him somewhere away from England and the wizarding world. Somewhere where he will never discover his heritage until the child reaches the age of 16. Old enough to comprehend the information we will tell him.

It's strange, Remus. Strange when you have to suddenly grown up; when you have to make decisions that will affect not only your life, but the life of all those around you. It's not like marriage, the result of a love affair. It isn't.
You are one of two people who will know where the child comes from.
Protect my secret Moony, and know that you are the only person I trust to bear the burden of my mistakes.

James Potter.

02-11-1980


Remus stood outside the kitchen of Grimmauld place, the letter safely at the bottom of the mahogany chest. Shadows passed over him from the dark gloomy hallway of the Black mansion as the wooden door opened and Sirius walked out. A deep look was plastered across the ex-convicts face; a fierce look when he spared a glance for his old friend. Remus watched him walk off before he yelled out to his friend.
Sirius stopped and turned towards the werewolf.
"What?" He said in a sharp tone.
Remus sighed in exasperation and sadness, a crestfallen expression dawning upon his face.
"Don't be like this, Sirius."
The man shook his head repeatedly. His long black hair swaying and falling upon his face. He lifted his hand as he went to say something, but then paused and lowered it again.
"How could nobody tell me? How could you not tell me for almost seventeen years?"
"I was bound to secrecy, Sirius. I had to stand by my word."

Remus frowned, and looked downwards. Sirius shook his head again, his expression giving Remus the impression he was about to take his fury out on the unsuspecting wall. He looked up again and hissed:
"Why you? Why not me? I was his best friend, Remus!" Sirius yelled as the members of the Order came and went down the long hallway.
"James told me because he knew that you wouldn't understand, and he was right, wasn't he?" Remus laid a hand on his friends shoulder. Sirius shook him off fiercely.
"You stopped approving of their relationship, Siri. You didn't even want to know that they still saw each other on the occasion. His marriage to Lily was something that you did approve of. I guess James was just too afraid to tell you."

Remus turned away and went through the door into the kitchen. The room was empty, save for the pots pans and shadows inside that caused the atmosphere to feel as if it were cluttered full.
Professor Dumbledore sat at the table squashed into the room. He lifted his wand as Remus entered and took a seat, waving at the door which glowed in response and shut.
"You wanted to speak to me, Remus." The headmaster said, giving the man a warm smile. "I do believe that you have upset Sirius."
Remus nodded in silence and lowered his forehead into the palm of his hand.
"I need to talk to you about a boy called Dion. Dionys, to be correct." He said. The headmaster nodded again, and at that moment, Remus knew that he suspected absolutely nothing.
"Dionys Cael. He lives in France. He is sixteen years old on the twenty-fourth of July this year." Remus continued. Dumbledore nodded again and smiled warmly.
"And you wish to find him?"
Remus shook his head and paused, his heart was beating so fast and hard it left him unable to breathe. So, in a shaky voice he rasped:
"No. I need to find him. He's James' son."


Authors note: Hey all! So, how many times have I attempted Harry Potter and miserably failed? Two, three times? Hopefully I will do better now. :) Anyway. I'll try to stick to this story.
This story wouldn't go away and ached to be written, so here it is!
The first two chapters are from Remus' point of view, I will alternate between Harry and Remus' (and maybe even Sirius's)point of view. I will weave the marauder's memories into the story too later on. (If I get that far. :P)