Hey every one this is the sequel to I made the wrong choice let me know what you this think story features suicide so I'm rating it M if suicide offends you please DO NOT read it, read and review
ta
Guitarbabe2005
As I picked up the sharp knife and held it to my wrist. I thought of what had brought me to this. The thoughts running around my head were not those of a normal person. Some of the things were things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, they were too horrible. I have seen and experienced things beyond my years. As I pressed the knife into the soft flesh of each of my wrists, I felt no regret.
As my life's blood left my veins and turned my hands and pale blue tiles red I lent back on the wall and let my thoughts turn to what brought me to do this I could answer it all with one word Darien. He was the reason my life panned out like this.
If some one told me my life would end up like this two years ago I would of laughed in their face and told them they were crazy. If some one told me I would end up pregnant and addicted to hard drugs and alcohol I would of slapped them. I planed my life so different I was going to university I was going to make something of myself, I wanted to be a doctor.
But they say the best laid plans always change. I had to leave my home in spiral cove. In the last two years I've slowly started to heal the wounds between my parents and myself for mostly my daughters sake and a little for myself, but the wounds are still fresh. After a year of struggling I went back home I didn't go out much, my days were spent looking out at the ocean, looking after Rini and on the odd occasion I would go out at night and sit on the beach and sit and stare at the powerful sea looking for answers that no one could answer.
My parents adore Rini as do I, I know I shouldn't of sent her picture to Darien but a small part of me though maybe if he saw his daughter he would come back to me. Even though he has hurt me beyond all reason I still love him. I look over to the small stool sitting next to me on there is 2 white envelopes and a single worn picture. I wrote three but I had to send the third because I knew my parents would never send it, I sent the third letter to Darien, telling him why I did what I did, asking him to visit our daughter and telling him that I never stoped loving him. Who knows if he'll read it if he does he'll know how much I love him, he was the reason I woke up in the morning, the reason I spent many cold nights out on the beach hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
I told him I saw him a few times surfing late at night, his powerful body fighting the ocean, I told him ho much I missed him. How I missed his kisses and the feel of his body close to mine. I told him that I never regretted anything I did with him and thanked him for our daughter.
In his letter I sent two photos one a recent picture of me and Rini, sitting on the beach, Rini was sitting on my lap both of us giving the camera movie star smiles. The second was a photo about 2 and a half years old of a happy couple gazing into each other's eyes, their hands intertwined in the others hands. They were so happy who would of guessed it wouldn't last that photo was one of my favourites it was of me and Darien.
I could feel tears pricking my eyes, those three letters were the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life, one the other two letters were for my parents telling them how sorry I was that it ended this way and that I had sent a letter to Darien and asking them should Darien ever ask to see Rini that they let him I suppose my letter to my parents was a will in a way I left every thing I owned to Rini.
I asked my parents to give her the life I couldn't, a life full of happiness and hope. I told them I regretted never seeing her grow up and I regretted the choices I made long ago, but I wasn't sorry about my love for Darien and as a result of that love I was given Rini. I asked them to forgive me and to bury me facing the beach.
The other letter was for Rini when she was older telling her how sorry I was that I left her and how much I loved her. How I felt so bad at leaving her because I though my life wasn't worth living, I told her about her father and how we met and what happened between us, I told her I hoped he visited her how I hoped he loved her. I wished her a million birthday and Christmas hugs and kisses.
I wished her to have a better life then I ever did. I wished her all the happiness in the world, and told her I hoped she found her one true love in life. In her envelope I left a picture of her dad and me when we happy and I left a picture of me and her together. The last thing I put in her envelope was a silver chain with a crescent moon pendent wrapped around another note that only had three words on it I love you!
My gaze shifted from the letters to the picture I had to see his face before I left this world the edges were so worn from my constant looking the photo was of Darien again leaning on his beat up car a smirking smile on his face.
I could feel my self growing weaker with every passing second my blood surrounding me I eased my self off the wall so I was laying on the ground as the world around me started to grow dark I whispered my goodbyes and waited for death to come.
