Disclaimer: We own Moon. Thassit. And the idea for the plot. And we own the phrase "narcoleptic bunny rabbit." Don't copy it, don't diss it. Word.

No, not THE moon. We mean the girl Moon, you fool. You know? Actually, you don't, so we'd better start the story.

This is Fireblade K'Chona and her friend A Very Mad Hatter, cowriting an Inu-yasha fanfiction! Gasp! Horror! Fear us! And enjoy the story!

(By the way, this is rather AU.)


"Well-well-well-you're a narcoleptic bunny rabbit!" said Moon, hands on hips, glaring up at her harasser. Kevin was a junior on the football team-and was six feet three in comparison to Moon's five feet two. He sat beside her in Biology.

"Besides, you're taking Biology again!" continued Moon, "What-you flunked it three times or something?"

"Well, at least I'm not named after a floating object in space," muttered Kevin. Moon froze, glaring at him furiously.

Kevin backed slowly away from the look in Moon's eyes. "Easy, freshman," he said, looking slightly nervous, "I didn't mean to make you mad."

Moon blinked. "What?" she said, returning from whatever world she had been in.

"Um," said Kevin.

"Oh. The hair thing?" said Moon. Kevin shook his head. "Silver light from nowhere?" Another shake. "Oh. Then it was the eyes. Weird. That's like, five times now?"

"This happens to you often?" said Kevin, looking nervous. "What's the silver light thing, anyway?"

Moon remembered belatedly that Kevin had only seen the "hair thing," and that had been outside. "Er. No?" she hazarded.

The bell rang then, and Kevin vanished surprisingly quickly. Moon rolled her eyes. "I lose more friends this way," she muttered, "Not that that jerk's actually my friend, anyway."

She gathered up her books, thankful that it was the last period of the day. As soon as she stepped into the hall, Moon was swept into the crush of high-school students. Carefully, she navigated to the stairs, nearly losing the flow near the French classroom and almost getting shunted into the trash can. Muttering under her breath, Moon took a step...

And fell down the stairs. "Not agaaaaaaiiiiiiiin!" she wailed, as she fell...

But she kept falling. The world turned silvery white for a moment, then became surprisingly clear...

She was falling from a height of about four hundred feet, straight down.

It took a moment before she remembered to scream, but scream Moon did. She screwed her eyes shut and screamed the loudest she ever had in her life, sure that it was the last sound she was ever going to make.

Until she hit something very, very hard, which made a surprised, "Umph," and fell to the ground.

"Ow, that fucking hurt," she said, rubbing her side, "God dammit, what the fuck are you wearing? Armor? Dude! It's the fucking 21st century! When are you going to need armor? Kendo? No one takes kendo! Thanks for breaking my fall, by the way. Who are you, anyway? Some crazy cosplayer trying to dress up as Sessho-maru or someone?"

Pausing for a split second, Moon eyed the person for a moment. "Gotta admit, though, it's a fucking good costume-"

"I am Sessho-maru," said the costumed man, standing slowly.

"Ok...some crazy, crazy cosplayer," said Moon, edging away, "I'm going to walk away now."

"Sessho-maru" met her eyes for a moment. She caught a glimpse of a waning crescent moon on his forehead, before-

"AH! It burns!" yelped Moon, clapping her hands to her forehead. "Stop, drop, and roll, stop, drop, and roll," she chanted, dropping to the ground and rolling around.

"Lord Sessho-maru?" she dimly registered a voice saying through the burning of her forehead, "Who is this?"

The burning in her forehead stopped, and Moon sat up. "I'm his girlfriend!" she announced, happily.

"You are not," said Sessho-maru, looking somewhat disgusted.

"Or...he's a molester!" said Moon, "Run awaaay! Run awaaay!" she yelled, waving her hands frantically above her head, oblivious to a perfect circle where the burning between her eyebrows had been.

Sessho-maru raised an eyebrow. "Dude, your little child-plaything is scary," said Moon, stopping and staring at a little girl standing beside him.

"She is not my child plaything," retorted Sessho-maru.

"Whatever, you pedophile," said Moon, oblivious to the narrowing of Sessho-maru's eyes.

Suddenly, she was grabbed by the collar and hoisted up at arm's length. Moon twisted in Sessho-maru's grip as the person tightened his grip...

"What are you trying to do?" she said, "You must have really weak arms or something. Dude, are you ok?"

"What's a dude?" said the girl. She looked up at Sessho-maru. "And why is your face all red, Lord Sessho-maru?"

Sessho-maru was finding it difficult to breathe. It seemed the tighter he held onto the girl, the harder it was to draw air...

"You can't hurt me, can you?" said Moon, somewhat seriously, for once. "You know, the more you try to strangle me, the more you're strangling yourself. I suggest letting go."

Sessho-maru released Moon, and was immediately able to breathe again. "No matter," he said, "I shall simply have to kill you more conventionally."

He drew a sword at his side. "Whoa, now!" said Moon, raising her hands and backing away, "What's up with that?"

Sessho-maru swung Toki-jin.

Immediately, he staggered backwards a few paces, as the circle on the girl's forehead flared. Something was cutting at his body-unseen waves of power-

Moon clapped a hand to her forehead again. "You made it burn!" she yelled, "You bastard! That hurts! I'm going to castrate you!"

She took a few steps backwards and aimed for the family jewels.

As she kicked, Sessho-maru wafted out of the way and landed gracefully behind her. "I don't know what you are," he said, levelly, "But you are clearly under the delusion that I am not who I am. I assure you, I am Lord Sessho-maru of the Western Lands."

Moon stared at him. "Dude, are you hearing voices? Or seeing people? Because if you're seeing the guy in the black cloak, that's a bad sign. I saw him once when I was younger. It's ok. It's called schizophrenia. Soon the people in white will come to take you away. They're good people. They'll be nice to you. You'll go to a nice place with nice padded rooms. And people who will be very, very kind to you. And they'll do whatever you want them to, except maybe kill themselves. I asked them once, and they said they can't do that."

Sessho-maru closed his eyes. One of his eyebrows was twitching, very gently. Then, he slammed his fist into a boulder.

It shattered and tumbled down the hill, towards a village below. Moon stared, mouth slightly open.

A group of men came running up, armed with bows and swords. "It wasn't me!" squeaked Moon, pointing at Sessho-maru, "It was his fault!"

"It was her," said Sessho-maru, calmly.

There was whispering among the men.

"Hey, do I look like I could crush a boulder here? I can't even break a stick!" said Moon, "The man is evil! He has a child slave! See? See? Everybody run!"

She threw her hands into the air and bolted down the other side of the hill. The men watched her go with looks of bewilderment on their faces. "She leaves me to deal with them," muttered Sessho-maru under his breath.

Meanwhile, Moon was crouched behind another boulder-this one unshattered-breathing hard. "OK, time to figure out where the hell I am," she said to herself. Jumping up, she walked towards a road, where several people were walking.

"Where am I? Do you have a phone?" she said, stepping onto the road.

The villagers ran. "What?" yelled Moon after them, still completely oblivious to the round, glowing purple moon on her forehead. She covertly sniffed her armpits, and cringed. "I smell that bad?" she said to herself, and sniffed again. "Oh, wait, Kevin spilled formaldehyde on me. Yeah, that's it."

She looked left and right, and picked left. Moon began to walk along the road.

"TETSUSAIGA!" yelled someone in the distance. Moon jumped, whirled around, and saw some strange-looking idiots behind her, one of them holding a stupidly large sword.

"More people trying to attack me for no reason!" she said, backing slowly away, before something occurred to her.

Moon reversed directions and ran forward. "Is that Styrofoam?" she said, flicking the sword, "Or cardboard? I've never seen a Tetsusaiga done so well! I mean, it's amazing! It looks so real! How did you get it to be so shiny? Do you have metalworking at school or something? Hey! How did you do the little fiery things around the hilt? They're moving!"

The boy in front of her looked at her blankly, golden eyes puzzled. "Hey, your ears look real, too!" said Moon, reaching up and tweaking them. "Dude, is your mom or dad or something a costume designer? Because you're one great Inu-yasha cosplayer!"

The others continued to look blank. "By the way, does one of you have a cellphone?" chattered Moon, "Because I really need to call my mom and have her pick me up. Where are we, anyway?"

A girl pushed the red-clad cosplayer to the side and rubbed her hands together. "Don't worry, I can deal with this one," she said to the others, "Honey, I need to tell you something."

"Really?" said Moon, "What? You have a phone?"

"No." The girl paused. "I'm Kagome, by the way. You're in feudal Japan. It's ok. Happened to me once, too-I fell down a magic well. What happened to you? Where are you from, anyway? Tokyo? Kobe?"

"Uh...try America?" suggested Moon. "And I fell down the stairs."

There was a long pause. "Who are you all, anyways?" said Moon, and stopped for a minute. "Wait...is this like that one anime series? Inu-yasha or something?"

"Why do you keep saying my name, wench?" growled the boy with the sword, stepping forward. The girl in front of Moon crossed her arms. "Sit."

The boy slammed into the ground. Moon's eyes went wide. "Wow! That's soooooo cool! I totally wish I could do that to Kevin! I mean, I've never seen a cosplay this good! How did you do that? By the way, who was the guy up on the hill? He had long white hair, amber eyes, had a sort of fluffy thing, wearing armor-shit, that hurt-and he was damn sexy."

"Oh, you mean Sessho-maru?" said Kagome.

"Yeah, is that his name? Because...oooh, I can just imagine him in skintight black vinyl. Mmmmmmm."

Kagome looked disgusted for a moment, then a glazed look passed over her face. Both girls stared absently at nothing, smiling slightly at the image of Sessho-maru in black vinyl...without a shirt.

"I'm Sango," said the woman behind Kagome, after a few moments. "Um...what's vinyl?"

Kagome leaned over and whispered a few words in her ear. A thoughtful look passed over Sango's face as well, and all three women had rather glazed eyes for a moment.

Well, technically women. That is, one of them really didn't look much like a woman, having a sad lack of significant members in the chest area, not to mention height.

"Hey, snap out of it, wench," growled Inu-yasha, waving a hand in front of Kagome's face.

"If this place is where I think it is-trust me, I'm giving you the benefit of doubt-you're Inu-yasha!" said Moon, brightly. "Do you think you could hook me up with your brother?"

Inu-yasha looked revolted. The man behind him, who had up till now been silent, shook his head and stepped forward. "Really, if you're that sadly lacking in that department, perhaps I could be of service!" he said, reaching forward and clasping Moon's hands in his own. "Will you bear my child?"

Moon looked thoughtful. "Well..." she said, as Miroku was hit over the head by a rock and a boomerang, respectively, "I'm not legal, you know. So...no. But...waaaaait. If I had sex with you and somehow got pregnant, I could claim that you raped me and then sue you for all you're worth! And I really have been wanting that coat, so...ok!"

By this time, however, Miroku was in no condition to hear or answer. Moon scratched at her neck and froze. "My necklace! My lucky necklace! I lost it again!"

She started looking frantically around herself. "OK, I'll just retrace my steps," Moon said, and ran in a circle. "Nope. Help me!" she said, looking at Kagome, Sango, and Inu-yasha with a woebegone look. "Heeeellllp meeeee?" she whined. "Heeeellllp meeee, or else!" Moon's eyes suddenly started to shine scarily and her hair picked up even though there was no wind.

"I'll trace it by scent?" said Inu-yasha hurriedly, stepping between Moon and Kagome. He leaned forward and sniffed at Moon...

And fell over sideways in a faint. Moon looked down at him. "Must have been the formaldehyde. Whoops," she said, genially. "Let's go. Wait! I don' wanna go up the hill! Well, actually I do, but not really because Sessho-maru is scaaaaarrry! Yet...really, really hot."

She turned around and started walking back towards the hill, looking at the ground. "I was...here," she said, looking at the boulder, "Hiding...yay! Here it is!"

Moon picked up a beaded choker necklace with a fork charm. She held it up and found the clasp, and placed it around her neck.

"Why the fork?" said Kagome, who had followed out of pure curiosity.

Moon's eyes gleamed happily. "Forks! I collect forks! Forks are my thing. Once, I was in this store, because Tangerine had broken a plate and we had to buy a new one, and I saw a 1927 silver-cast Wentworth mutton fork for only 49.95! And so I was all freaking out, because I've only seen those in the National Museum of Antiquities, cutlery section of course, and I was all like, 'We have to buy it! We have to buy it!' to Tangerine, and she was all like, 'You're fucked up.' Oh! And here it is!"

During her rather inane speech, Moon had been rummaging in her backpack and produced a black leather case. Unfastening it reverently, she held up a silver fork. "And now I keep it with me all the time," she said, happily, "Notice the-"

A whip of light knocked the fork out of her hand. Moon screamed in terror and made a mad dive for the fork, catching it and tumbling down the hill for several yards. She examined it feverishly. "It's dented! It's dented!" she shrieked, "You dented my fork! You bastard! You fucking bastard!"

Kagome, Sango, and the now-revived Miroku stared in terror of the fork-avenging diva as Moon's hair began to whip around and silver light from nowhere surrounded her. Inu-yasha, however, had unsheathed his sword and was glaring up the hill, eyes narrowed.

"Sessho-maru," he growled, "What are you doing here?"

Moon turned and saw Sessho-maru at the top of the hill. With a scream of, "You! This time I really am going to castrate you!" Moon clenched her fist and twisted, and Sessho-maru winced.

The girl raced up the hill like an avenging angel-well, more like an avenging angle, but that wasn't the point. Moon stopped for a second to replace the fork in the case and threw herself at the demon, battering at him with her fists. "You dented my fork! You dented it! You-you-I don't even know what to call you! You...demon!"

Sessho-maru plucked the girl from where she was hanging onto his armor and energetically kicking at his shins and held her at arm's length. "Is this yours?" he said to Inu-yasha, staring down the hill. "Found yourself another wench, at any rate. And not even done with the first one. However, I can't even imagine why you want this one." Sessho-maru shook Moon slightly. "Isn't she a bit short?"

"Oh, that's it," seethed Moon, swiping at Sessho-maru's arm, "No one calls me 'short' and gets away with it. And you called me a wench. Not just short, not just a wench, but a short wench." She grabbed his arm in both hands and dug her nails into the underside of his wrist.

Sessho-maru let her drop from where she was dangling two feet above the ground. With a yelp, Moon fell and clutched at her own right arm. "Ow! What the fuck did you do that for?"

Inu-yasha growled, hefting Tetsusaiga. "She's not mine. And Kagome's not my wench."

"Yes she is!" said Moon loudly from the ground. The dog-demons ignored her.

Kagome grabbed Inu-yasha's arm as he started forward. "Inu-yasha! There's a Shikon shard coming this way!"

"I smell wolf," said Inu-yasha, sniffing the air. "It's that fool Kouga."


Well, that's the first chapter of my friend's and my cowritten fic! Please review and let us know how we did!

This is Fireblade K'Chona and her friend A Very Mad Hatter, bringing to you the first installment of "Every 29 Days!"

-Blade and Hatter!