Just finished watching NipTuck. I didn't like it that much, but I did like Matt's character. He's just too fucked up not the write about.

Reviews are sexy.


Matt was numb. He was on fire. He was scared, and he was alive.

He glanced around, taking in the dirty pavement, the dark buildings, the flickering neon lights just up ahead. He fought between the urge to smile in relief and the one to vomit.

He did not want to be here. He needed to be here.

He inhaled deeply, smelling perfume, press on nail glue, latex and who know's what else.

He looked down at his feet, covered in plain black tennis shoes, already covered in glitter, he didn't want to think about how much of it he had inhaled just by walking down this street.

He heard it next. Grace Kelly drifting eerily down the street. He shivered, plunging his hands in the deep pockets of his oversized sweatshirt. He kept walking.

He could see them now, pink, purple, green, blue. Tall stilettos and blood red lipstick. Overdramatic eyeshadow with press on eyelashes. Penciled on eyebrows, wigs of every color. Fake breasts popping out of dresses that were too small, nestled between boas and scarves. It seemed the whole place was sparkling, everytime they moved it set of blinding reflections of glitter and rhinestones.

He had stopped walking. He surveyed the place, tilting his head to one side and closing his eyes every so often. He stood there for 5 minutes. Staring up at the neon, trying to mask the sick desperation he knew was in his eyes. He swallowed back vomit once again before pulling up his hood and stepping inside.

No one noticed him. It was a sea of sweating bodies, dancing together, all drunk, all forgetting their problems for awhile.

Well, they wouldn't for long.

Matt made his way to the bar, shoving past them without bothering to apologize. They didn't deserve it.

He sat down at the bar and nodded to the bartender. Dressed in a pink flapper dress with a matching head piece and platinum blonde hair, she looked like a cupcake.

"Vodka." Matt said, looking down at his hands, knowing she wouldn't question him about his age, knowing full well the power he held here.

"No problem cutie" she turned to get the drink and Matt followed her every move.

"It's on the house if you tell me your name." She said, pushing the drink towards him, Matt smiled, he couldn't help it.

"Adrian." He said, shrugging his shoulders and taking a sip of the vodka. He loved the way it burned.

"Well, Adrian, I'm Sky. What's a cutie like you doing with all of these old drag queens?" Sky looked at him with genuine curiosity and perhaps a little bit of excitement.

"I'm curious, I guess." The words had come out of Matt's mouth so many times he barely realized he said them. He realized this and reached for his glass again to hide his shame.

"Curious? I like curious. I get off at 3." She smiled and walked away to another costumer. That was easier than it usually was. He finished his drink and got up from the bar, feeling very light. He followed the familiar route to the bathroom and was pleased to see that there were only three people in front of him.

Tonight was going surprisingly well. He thrust his hands into his pockets again, squeezing them tightly into fists.

He kept his head down, eyes adverted, he didn't want to draw attention to his face, he already made that mistake once, he wasn't willing to take that chance again.

He took a step forward, the queen in front of him smelled like sex and alcohol, her hair was a mess and her makeup was smeared. Matt knew her night was far from over.

She stepped into the bathroom, closing the door softly behind her. Matt guessed 2 minutes. He was next.

He looked at the walls, the striped pattern, the stains, the glitter, he looked away.

One more minute.

He started to prepare himself, mentally and physically.

The drag queen stepped out. Matt was right.

"Wheeww, all yours cutie." she brushed Matt's shoulder as she walked by, smirking widely.

Matt took a breath and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

It smelled like piss and cigarettes.

Matt was ready, he walked up to the bathroom stall, closing the door, even though he knew no one else was going to come in.

"It's 5." a voice said, Matt knew the drill.

He walked up to the hole in the plastic door and unzipped his pants. He shivered at the coldness.

"Hello Adrian" the voice said, a moment before Matt felt warmth and velvet. He sighed, resting his head against the stall, pressing his hips further into the hole.

3 minutes later...

Matt shoved himself away from the door with both hands, his hands clenched a moment before he puked into the dirty toilet.

"That bad, kid?" The voice asked, Matt heard a small chuckle follow it.

Matt scowled and roughly pushed a 5 dollar bill through the hole.

He quickly opened the door and wiped his mouth with his sweatshirt.

He didn't smile until he was outside, pushing through dancing drag queens again. He had decided he needed another drink.

He made his way to the bar, finally starting to feel the full effects of his first drink. He sat down and waited for Sky to notice him. He looked around at the people sitting around him, but they were all completely immersed in eachother, all completely wasted.

Sky looked over at him, "Ah, vodka?" she asked, smiling and already reaching for the bottle.

"Yeah, a double" Matt said, following the bottle with his eyes.

"Oooh." She said, turning around to pour his drink. A moment later she sat a tall glass of vodka in front of him.

"Sure you can handle that without a chaser?" Sky asked, raising one perfectly drawn eyebrow.

"Of course. What time is it?" Matt looked up at her, trying his best to keep an innocent face.

"2:45. Stay here, finish your drink and I'll be done." she walked away. She didn't need to ask if he wanted to wait for her, it was known. Any boy that looked like him and came into a club like this was looking for something more than vodka and she knew it.

He settled into his seat, feeling better and better with each sip.

He was about halfway finished with his glass and he remembered thinking 'fuck, this vodka is strong as shit...'

And then there was nothing.


He didn't know what time it was when he woke up. There were no windows, only a small dingy light shoved into a corner. Everything was cast in eerie shadows.

His vision was blurred and he had absolutely no idea where he was or how he got there.

He was in a small room with clutter everywhere. There was a makeup stand with empty tubes and brushes and powder everywhere. There was a wig propped on the top corner. It was blonde. He vaguely remembered something about a blonde...

It took him a full minute before he realized that he was tied up. And he was completely naked.

The breath left him, he'd been here before.

This room...this chair...

But, no, not this room, not this chair, but did that matter?

He frantically looked around, but couldn't turn his head without feeling overwhelming dizziness.

He looked down until his vision cleared. He wanted to yell for help, but there was duct tape over his mouth.

He felt the vomit bubbling up his throat and gagged as the duct tape pushed it back into his throat. He couldn't breathe.

He tossed his head from side to side, trying to loosen the tape, but nothing worked, he was going to choke. Going to die. Right there.

In that fucking chair.

He started to see spots as he felt the vomit start to leak into his lungs. He heaved and sputtered, but the tape held fast.

Any moment now. He was dead.

"Oh, Matty." a voice said from behind him. Matt barely heard it, his body had started to slump and he couldn't see anything. He had almost stopped struggling.

Ripping tape and vicious heaving pulled him back.

He was facing the floor, vomit spewing from his mouth, chest heaving for air, hands clutching at the ropes that bound them.

He was still gasping for breath when a hand jerked his head back. When his vision cleared all he saw was platinum blonde hair.

He just stared, an image forming in his mind, becoming clearer and clearer with every second.

Sky.

The fucking bartender.

"Bet you feel better now, don't you, Adrian?" she jerked his head back further, her blue eyes filled with rage.

Matt felt his heart drop into his stomach. She knew. She fucking knew. He suddenly wished that he had choked to death.

"Yeah, the drugs were easy enough to hide, you were too busy scheming to notice me slip a little something into your drink." she smirked, a devilish glare in her eyes.

"What do you want?" Matt asked, his voice shaking, his hands clenched.

"Oh, don't play dumb. I know who you are, I knew from the moment you walked in. We're not stupid, you know. Drag Queen's talk. Just how many times did you think that you could get away with it?"

Matt inhaled sharply, his eyes watering as violent shivers coursed through him.

Fuck.

"Oh, don't worry," Sky said, twisting his neck slightly to the left. "I'll treat you just as well as you treated the others. Hell, maybe even better," she wasn't smiling anymore.

"No...please...I'm sorry. I'm sick, I didn't mean to hurt anyone!" Matt was pleading now, struggling against the ropes as he spoke. He knew what he deserved. And it almost made him vomit again thinking about it.

"Oh, but Matt, you did hurt people. Lots of people. You treated them like shit and then beat them like they were nothing. Like they were dirt." She moved so that she was standing in front of him.

"Like they weren't even human." she took a step forward.

"What did you do first Matt?" She braced her hands against the chair he was tied to, her face was inches from Matt's. He didn't answer.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO FIRST?" Her face was practically touching his, her anger wilting him, reducing him to quiet sobs.

"ANSWER ME" she yelled, slapping him hard across the face.

"F-fucked them..." Matt stammered between his choking sobs.

"Yeah, you did, didn't you? And you pretended like they were they prettiest girls in world, right?" She turned her head away in disgust.

"Well, you're a pretty good looking kid, Matt. It would be a shame not to take advantage of this situation."

Matt squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself away from this room. Maybe he was passed out somewhere...maybe he drank too much vodka...maybe this was his guilt.

He heard her step forward. He knew this wasn't a dream.

He saw her take a knife from the table filled with makeup. He hadn't seen it before. He felt more hot tears slip down his face.

"Oh, I'm not going to kill you Matt." She stepped forward with the knife.

"At least if you're a good boy." she brought the knife up to his neck, he stiffened, trying to stifle the sobs that were shaking through his whole body.

She moved the knife swiftly away from his neck, bringing it down to cut the rope binding his hands.

"You don't know it yet, but you're partially paralyzed, before you try to attack me, you should know I will kill you right here if you do." she cut the other side, Matt hadn't noticed the lack of feeling in his legs and the partial numbness in his arms.

"On the floor." She commanded, stepping back. Matt tried to push himself up, he knew he had to play by her rules if he wanted to see tomorrow.

He had less strength than he thought and he just ended up falling face first on the hard floor, he felt the side of his face pressing into his vomit.

"That's right" she cooed, stepping over him. Matt saw her foot move the moment before it collided heavily into the side of his face. He felt the blood a moment later.

He closed his eyes, he knew his nose was broken, but the drug had made him too numb to feel the pain.

Her feet disappeared, he knew what was going to happen but he didn't know just how unprepared he was.

He felt his hips being tugged up until he was on his knees, his face was still pressed to the floor.

"This will hurt." She said, he knew that she was pleased.

He felt her press against him the moment before agonizing pain ripped through him, pain that even the drugs couldn't mask.

He felt like his skin was tearing, like fire was being shot into his body, like daggers.

Matt cried out in pain as she thrusted inside of him again. He clenched his teeth as tears leaked from his eyes. He had never been through something like this. This was absolute torture.

He tried to close his eyes and escape the pain, it got a little better after the first few thrusts, but the pain never stopped.

He tasted the blood from his face and tried to concentrate on that pain instead.

In...Out...In...Out

He couldn't. He cried out again as her thrusts became faster. He knew this meant that it couldn't go on much longer, but he still couldn't stop the tears.

He felt fluids dripping down his legs and he didn't know if it was hers or his own blood.

She cried out as she thrusted deep into him, she stayed inside of him for a moment as he cried out in agony. She pulled out.

Matt collapsed onto the floor, clutching his face with his hands and rocking back and forth.

He didn't want to think about what was coming next.

He heard her laugh. It was a sick laugh, the laugh of a person that didn't have anything to lose and was going to take full advantage of it.

Matt closed his eyes as more sobs shook his body, the pain had made him numb. But not a comfortable numb, and agonizing numb like a million daggers shooting through his body.

"Had enough?" Sky asked, laughing that sick laugh again.

Matt couldn't answer. He didn't even try. She didn't ask again.

"Get up." She commanded and somehow Matt knew that he had to or something far worse would happen.

He tried pushing himself up and managed to get himself into a sitting position. He clutched the chair for support and used every ounce of strength he had left to haul himself into it.

Matt panted and tried to look up but all he saw were dots clouding his vision. He suddenly felt very dizzy.

"I..." He tried to speak but his head only spun more. He couldn't see, he couldn't breathe. He saw Sky's outline looming over him before he passed out.


He awoke to bright lights and cold pressure all over his body. He couldn't see what was around him and couldn't remember at all how he had gotten there.

He heard voices and it slowly started to come back to him. The bartender...Sky...the room...

He felt a cold fear in the put of his stomach, instantly sure that he was still there.

"Matt?" he recoiled, too scared to realize that the voice wasn't trying to impersonate a female, but was deep, warm and a voice he had heard many times before.

"Matt?" the voice asked again, his vision had cleared enough so that he could see an outline, it was becoming clearer and clearer with each second...he could almost make out...

"Dad!" he shouted, never being so relieved in his life, he tried to sit up but pain shot down his entire body when he did.

"Hey, hey, don't move. You're lucky to be alive." Matt sunk deeper into the bed, his breathing finally slowing back down to normal.

"What happened? I passed out." Matt almost didn't want to know, all he could feel was pain and the dull numbness of painkillers.

"You've broken several bones. Have traces of roofies in your system. Have severe knife wounds all over your body and appear to be missing several teeth. What the hell happened, Matt?"

Matt almost couldn't comprehend that his father didn't know already.

He repressed a sigh of relief. He couldn't know. The horrible truth of the situation would be too much. All Matt did was disappoint his parents.

"A jealous ex boyfriend. He drugged me and him and a bunch of his friends beat the shit out of me."

Matt grimaced as the lie passed his lips. He felt he should be honest, at least then maybe it wouldn't happen again. Matt knew that he was lucky to be alive, but he still couldn't face the consequences of what he had done.

Matt saw his father's look of disbelief but was relieved that he didn't question him further. He apparently thought that Matt had been though enough already.

Matt let his eyes drift to the ceiling, promising himself that he would make it up to every single drag queen that he hurt. He would hurt just as badly and for just as long, and he would never ever forget.

It would stay with him for the rest of his life.