Mr. Howell was in a state. State of determination. Someone was writing letters to his Lovey and he was going to find out just who!
The Professor came up with a version of lie detector test to aid Mr. Howell in his quest for culprit.
"Okay Mr. Howell." said the Professor. "It is all set. This red light will indicate when a person is lying and make a buzzing noise. The green light indicates when a person is telling the truth and will make a ding sound."
Mr. Howell was satisfied with this. "Fine Fine…Let's see how this works." He said
He indicated for Gilligan to get in the wooden chair.
Gilligan complied and the wooden cap was placed on his head. "Mr. Howell I swear I'm not writing love letters to Mrs. Howell!" He stated. "Honest."
"We shall see." replied Mr. Howell.
The older man paced about for a minute and then turned his attention to Gilligan. "Gilligan my boy…what is your occupation?"
"I'm the Skipper's First Mate." said Gilligan.
Ding Green light goes off.
"Did you write love letters to my wife?"
"No sir. I certainly did not!' exclaimed Gilligan.
Ding Green light goes off
"Are you in love with Mrs. Howell?"
"Goodness no." Gilligan replied.
Ding Green light goes off
"Interesting Interesting." Mr. Howell said walking about. He turned to the sailorman again.
"Are you in love with Ginger?"
"Ginger? Me in love with Ginger? Why no Mr. Howell. I'm not love with her." insisted Gilligan.
Ding Green light goes off
"I see. Well..Gilligan…are you in love with Mary Ann?"
"Um…no…." said Gilligan.
Errrrrr Red light goes off
Gilligan sits there in shock and slightly red faced.
"You may go now Gilligan." Mr. Howell said dismissing him.
Gilligan slowly got out of the chair. Hanging his head down embarrassed to have been caught.
"Okay Professor." Mr. Howell said. "Your turn."
"Fine Mr. Howell." said The Professor.
He got into the chair placing the wooden cap on his head.
"Now…what is your occupation."
"I'm a professor of science."
Ding Green light goes off.
"Okay now we will get into this." Mr. Howell said warming up. "Did you write love letters to my wife?"
"No I did not." The Professor replied.
Ding Green light goes off.
"Are you in love with Mrs. Howell?"
"No Mr. Howell I am not in love with her."
Ding Green light goes off.
"What about Mary Ann? Are you in love with Mary Ann?"
"I am not in love with Mary Ann." The Professor stated.
Ding Green light goes off.
"Ginger. Are you in love with Ginger?"
"No I'm not…"
Errrrrr Red light flashes
Professsor looks over at it. "Um…there must be a malfunction…I'll need to look at this.."
He quickly got up pretending to check the machine. He adjusted a few things and got back in the chair.
"Okay. I will ask again." said Mr. Howell. "Are you in love with Ginger?"
"I am not in love with Ginger.'
ERRRRRRR! The sound was louder and the red light was flashing. The Professor again quickly got up and checked the machine again. He advised Gilligan to get back in the chair.
"Oh no! No! I'm not getting back in that chair!" protested Gilligan.
"Gilligan please...it wasn't working properly. It should be okay now. I need you to try it again."
"Okay Professor." Gilligan said reluctantly.
Mr. Howell began is question again. "Gilligan…are you in love with Mary Ann?"
"No. Not in love with Mary Ann."
ERRRRRR ERRRRR EERRRRR. Red light flashed even more. Gilligan hopped up from the chair running out.
The Professor sighed and looked it over again. Satisfied it was now fixed, he got back in the chair.
"Okay Professor, let's try this again." said Mr. Howell. "Are you in love with Ginger?"
"No. I do not love Ginger."
EERRRRR BEEEEEPPPPPP EERRRRR BEEEP
"Oh for goodness sake!" The Professor threw the cap off and stormed out of the hut.
He found Gilligan sitting at the table with his hand on his chin. The Professor joined him.
Mary Ann and Ginger came walking by noticing the two men sitting there sulking.
"What is wrong?" asked a concerned Mary Ann.
"Nothing." Gilligan said quickly avoiding her eyes.
Ginger spoke to the Professor. "Everything okay?"
"Oh fine….just an invention of mine…it didn't pan out…that's all."
"What invention?" Ginger asked intrigued. "Would it help us get off the island?"
"No No…Just something for Mr. Howell…You know how he is determined to find out who is writing those love letters to Mrs. Howell. It didn't work properly."
"Yeah." said Gilligan. "Whenever Mr. Howell would ask the Professor if he was in love with Ginger, the Professor would say no and the machine would buzz and the red light would flash…"
The Professor shot Gilligan a look.
Ginger grinned. "Really? It did that?"
The Professor attempting to regain his dignity spoke. "The machine is broken. Besides whenever Mr. Howell asked Gilligan if he loved Mary Ann, it did the same thing."
Gilligan quickly turned his head to the Professor pleading with him to keep quiet.
Mary Ann smiled. "Is that so?"
"Oh yeah." Gilligan said being brave. "Let's see how you do." He challenged.
"Yes." The Professor standing up. "Let's see how it responds to you girls."
The two shrugged and said okay.
They all walked to the Professor's hut.
Mary Ann volunteered to go first.
"Okay Mary Ann." said The Professor. "Let's start. Are you in love with the Skipper?"
"The Skipper? No I'm not in love with him."
Ding Green light goes off.
"Okay that was a given." Gilligan grunted. "Ask her another."
"Mary Ann." Professor started. "Do you love me?"
"You? No Professor I don't love you."
Ding Green light goes off.
"Mr. Howell? Do you love him?
"He is a dear sweet man but I'm not in love with him."
Ding Green light goes off.
"Last question." said The Professor. "What about Gilligan? Are you in love with Gilligan?"
Mary Ann smiled. "Gilligan is a sweet and kind. Of course I love him."
Ding Green light goes off.
"Hey!" protested Gilligan. "That was a trick! You didn't answer."
"Answer the question Mary Ann." The Professor said. "Are you in love with Gilligan."
Mary Ann smiled again. "I did answer it. I love Gilligan. He's sweet and kind."
Ding Green light goes off.
Gilligan was getting annoyed. "Mary Ann, you didn't answer. You just keep saying you love me but….Oh…" Gilligan said as it finally clicked in his head. "Oh."
Mary Ann stepped down and kissed Gilligan's cheek.
The Professor looked at Ginger. She smiled. "Professor do you really need me to take a test to know how I feel? Of course I love you you stupid stupid man." She pressed her lips against his. His arms went around her and Ginger then motioned with her hand for Gilligan and Mary Ann to get out.
The two young castaways exited the hut.
Gilligan looked at Mary Ann. "You love me?"
"Yes Gilligan I do. Don't you love me?"
"I…Well…Yes…I..I love…I do.." He stuttered feeling flustered.
"Gilligan you can say it." Mary Ann said putting her hands on his shoulders. "I promise I will not laugh."
"I…I love ….I love you…love you Mary Ann." Gilligan said fumbling to get the words out. "I love you."
Mary Ann stood up on her toes and placed a kiss on his lips. "No that didn't hurt did it?"
Gilligan smiled. "No."
He took her hand and the new walked off into the jungle. Gilligan picked some flowers for her. She gladly accepted them and the two headed to the lagoon sitting on a fallen log.
The first mate looked at Mary Ann and slowly put his arm around her. She smiled at him placing her head on his shoulder while they watched the tiny waves on the water.
Howells' Hut
"Well Thurston, did it work?" asked Mrs. Howell.
"Like a charm." He smiled.
