Is it bad to feel nothing anymore?
To feel no more sadness or hatred that you once had felt?
Is it bad to get used to it?
Hello, this is Len, Len Kagamine. I know you must have heard about my mirror, Rin Kagamine, right? Who hasn't heard of her? She's everyone's joy, their happiness, their sunshine, while I'm just the boy in that double-sided mirror. If I left, no one would care...no one would mind...they had Rin. After all, there is always a Rin with or without Len. Anyways, I wasn't in my normal state of mind, if you can call me normal in ANY state of mind. I should be happy, shouldn't I? Today's our birthday, our 2nd birthday to be exact. Though I know it's going to be truly Rin's birthday. They all did forget about me last year. They all didn't seem to notice that though, didn't seem to notice me gone, locked in my bed room and crying my heart out. No, they only noticed how 'cute' Rin was.
I never hated Master, after all she is like my second mother. [Second to Meiko] She gave me my life as I know it. She loves me more than anyone here. Possibly more than Rin does. Though at times I question to myself: 'Why did she create me? Why does she want me to suffer?' I knew she didn't mean to, I know she spends little time with Rin and most with me but...I still can't help wondering to myself:' if I died would she just run over to Rin like everyone else?' I sighed and walked towards everyone else. 'They didn't notice me, had they?' I sat quietly on the last step and glanced at them all. Master wasn't here yet, I noticed. Then my eyes drifted towards Rin, Kaito, and Meiko. Rin was having a blast, which I envied silently. Kaito was having his own ice cream fantasies again, bless him and his obliviousness. He, out of all of them except Master, is the only one whom I barely blame. He's too innocent..too...naive to hurt. If he does hurt me, he never means it. I can tell by just looking at him. Meiko doesn't mean it either, but she's drunk a lot so she doesn't seem to notice very well. Miku came darting towards the three, then hugged them in glee. She's yet another one who is naive, but she still knows. I can tell she notices me. After all, Rin and I are practically her sister and her brother. Though I knew she cared for Rin more.
"Hello everyone, sorry I'm late!" A voice yelled out. The sound of the door slamming open gave me the clue as to who it was. Master. She came! She came in dragging presents in a wagon. "Leennn, Riinnnn come here!" She called. I ran towards her happily now.' She noticed me didn't she?' I smiled at her. She smiled back at me and handed me my very own gifts.
"How come Len gets more presents?" Rin asked her angrily with a pout added. Master answered instead for me instead.
"Rin-chan, you have enough gifts as it is." Master answered, pointing to the gifts that are on the table. "Isn't that enough? I wanted to get him more since I was out on your last birthday. And considering they forgot that he had a birthday too. I needed to get him something." I smiled until I felt something inside me snap. Snap like a rubber band. I felt like I was shaking. 'Was it anger? Or was it true, something was wrong with me like Master told me before? Is it okay to uninstall me? Master told me due to the whole situation, it was critical for me. I was based on a Kokoro system, an emotional one at that. If I ever felt unwanted to the extremes, I start losing control of myself...then I shut down..then die.
"Haven't you noticed?" I said uncontrollably as well as more robotically. It was strange, considering my headphones weren't on at all. 'I couldn't control what I said, nothing was mine anymore. It's just like how Master predicted it to be, though I think she wanted to be wrong. Rin just looked at me, her blue eyes were wide. "Haven't you noticed that I'm nothing? Nothing for anyone! You're my god damn sister for Pete Sake and you haven't noticed it Rin?" Blue eyes stared at me still, this time in disbelief.
"No, I haven't." Rin simply answered and walked towards me . She rubbed my cheek and wiped something away. Tears. "We are a family, and if we are a family, we treat each other the same. We care-" I pushed her away before she can say anything more. It wasn't me who pushed her...nor was it me who thought: 'What a family' neither.
"They don't care! That's the thing! None of you cared! You all must have forgotten about me by now." I felt myself shaking even more. Master lifted me up noticing this. I didn't know that she can lift me, but hey, life is full of surprises. She lifted me and placed me on the couch. Miku, Kaito, Rin, and Meiko stared at Master as she placed me on the couch. 'Were they worried?' No. I don't think that they are worried. Why would they be worried?
" Len you're getting as thin as notebook paper!" Master said in her worried tone. She was truly upset wasn't she? "You're shaking as well." She rushed out the door, I'm guessing towards the 'lab' (It was just a computer but she calls it a lab.) She there can see if I'm okay. I knew I wasn't though. I knew it myself, and I wasn't going to fight this at all.
"Len...please stop joking! This isn't funny!" Meiko ordered, her voice broke off. She knew I wasn't joking. My body started aching; I closed my eyes and felt by body go warm. Rin ran towards my side to meet me. She stroked my hair, but I never cared much for that.
"Len Kagamine Unit:
Kokoro: Low, dangerously low." A loud speaker said. Master said that.
"Kokoro fading fast! Losing emotion! Losing memory! Losing body functions! Getting progressively worse!" She said in shock. I can tell she was trying not to let that happen. Kaito stopped his ice cream fantasy and looked at me. I couldn't look at him back though. Kaito rushed towards me, I was shocked at that, but stayed silent.
"Len Kagamine Unit:
Lost control of everything. Danger: Uninstallment Danger, Danger!" She repeated. "Please don't! PLEASE!" I started to hear nothing now. Voices were drained and tuned out, though the loudest voice was heard, faintly heard.
"L-Len Ka-mine Nit:
C-n't h-r any-ore. L-st c-n-rol!" My body goes cold and I slumped down. The world soon turned to black.
'Len died! I can't believe it!' I closed my eyes and noticed something on my computer screen. Sibling Rivalry and Jealousy mode were on for him. Rin. She practically killed him. I sighed now. 'I killed him too didn't I?'
"Kagamine Len Unit:
Died due to failure in reading the instruction manual!" I said over the loud speaker. "Shouldn't have left him with all his evils! Shouldn't have left him with Rin!" I immediately called for another Kagamine Len unit. But I didn't expect the deal I would be getting.
"What did she mean by 'Shouldn't have left him with Rin!'?" I asked in a very confused manor. I was in tears. My mirror, my brother...my Len...gone. Did she blame this all on me? Master, while apparently on the phone, talked through the loud speaker yet again.
"Kagamine Len can't be near Kagamine Rin because you trigger something called Sibling Rivalry and Jealousy mode. Which usually means death in Rin but it back fired and hurt himself! Malfunction." She answered. "He can't be near Kaito very early on or Gakupo. He came here with painted nails cause I bought Miku the same time which means she painted his nails, and eventually will do matchmaker. Uh...and the house was destroyed because there was a construction near here and he destroyed this house due to the use of a road roller." I can't believe that...I killed my own brother! How can I...his own sister...do this?
"I know, it was our faults." Kaito said sorrowfully. I put a hand on his shoulder in a comforting way. I knew, just knew that Len and Kaito did love eachother...more than a big brother would. Everyone loved Len, especially Master and Kaito. Master thought of him like as a little brother. Kaito thought of him, well, as a lover.
"Yeah...uh huh..." I replied in a soft, unknowing way. I couldn't really say "I forgot to read Kagamine Len's instruction manual!" can I? That would be just plan bad. "Wait...WHAT! HELL TO THE NO!" I felt my face turn red, leaving me feeling kind of weak. Then something occurred to me. 'They had that didn't they?'
Master screamed. "Wait? WHAT! HELL TO THE NO!" I felt myself curious, what just happened? "HELL NO YOU HEAR ME? What...?"
"Master is getting very angry now isn't she?" Miku asked. She gulped in fear. Aw, poor naive Miku.
"Miku, I have a feeling that she's trying to get another unit..." Meiko commented. Kaito sat there thinking for a moment.
"Perhaps she is getting another unit. Perhaps another Kagamine Len." Kaito said. 'Another Len? No one can replace my original Len. Why would anyone believe you can replace the original?' I glanced at original Len. Well...what was left of the original. The only thing that was left was his headphones. His body turned and got uninstalled. Not that the Master uninstalled him.
"But I don't WANT another Len." I said angrily. "I want the ORIGINAL Len not some other Len!" Kaito put a hand on my shoulder and silently nodded, agreeing.
"Indeed, no one CAN replace the originals can they? But they did the same for us right? We aren't the originals ourselves. We are just another bunch of units." Kaito answered. I was in shock though. 'When did Kaito get smarter?'
'I hope I'm doing the right thing.' Getting a Kagamine Len and 4 others would be an easy task, no? I wished so, but the store manager happened to be a flirt. Thankfully, a girl stepped in and smacked him hard enough to let me have the Kagamine Len unit and the four others for free without the pervert trying to get on me!
"Sorry about that you guys." I announced. "We'll get the new Kagamine Len unit. And we'll be getting more than him. 'Not that I CAN replace the original who was practically my brother. I loved him so.'
"Master...when do you think he'll arrive?" Rin asked her of all people. I felt a twinge of sadness appear in my heart. It felt empathy towards the girl. I didn't enjoy that feeling.
"He'll come Rin soon, don't worry. He'll get here when he does. You mustn't rush it." Answering that question hurt. I wanted him here now. I wanted Len here, in my arms. My Len here in one piece and happy. I hate to see him sad.
"I guess your right..." She shakily answered, doubting it. I bit my lip, but tried shaking the feeling off. I hated that feeling with passion.
"Guess? You know I'm right!" I say playfully and fake laughed. She bought the fake laugh and smiled. "Might as well get all of you ice cream to cheer you all up." Kaito instantly grew happier. I knew he was still sad but ice cream can cheer that up. It can for them all. I smiled and got their orders in. Maybe having another Len would be better. Maybe it could teach them to be happy and teach them to love them both. Hope so.
