Sticks and Stones

By chocolatefeet

A/N: Wow, where did all the angst come from? I was in a really good mood when I wrote this, which is a creepy thought. So...warnings? Mild angst, one- sided Taishiro, mentions of one-sided Taito. Shounen-ai, but not really anything happening ...oops. ^^

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or anything remotely like it. You would be able to tell if Digimon was mine as there would be an obscene amount of yaoi. Hee hee....

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"It's so damn unfair, Koushiro." Taichi slurs, waving the bottle of beer in his hand in the general direction of a tall blond and a redheaded girl curled up on a sofa in the back of Mimi's living room. "Why's he got to go and date her? We've been friends longer an' everyhtung – he always used to say she was jus' a whiny bitch."

"I'm sure he had his reasons, Taichi," I said, trying to stop my friend from falling out of his chair. How much had he drunk? Being in the same room with a lovey-dovey Yamato and Sora seemed to have that effect on him – he inevitably ran towards the nearest source of booze. Numbed his mind. Numbed his feelings, and maybe if he was lucky, numbed his pain.

And it always fell to me, Izumi Koushiro to transport my intoxicated soccer- playing friend home. Always fell to me to drag him up ten flights of stairs and haul him into his bed. It was always, always me who held back his hair and rubbed his forehead as he threw up.

Always me who put him before anything else in life.

Most people thought Taichi was just a happy-go-lucky party animal, drifting from celebration to celebration, drowning any seriousness in a fountain of alcohol. I knew differently – the drinks gave him a temporary relieve from the pain and angst that plagued him constantly. It was sad to watch him, falling apart at the seams. And even more depressing to know that I could do nothing to help him.

Or rather, I could. But did he want me to. Judging from the expression on his face when he talked about Yamato, the loving way he described what he loved so much about his blond best friend, the tender look in his eyes whenever he spoke to the teenage rock star.

I don't mean to be petty or selfish about it. It's the way it's always been, since we got back from the Digital World anyways. I had fallen for Taichi somewhere between saving the world and trying to break up the fights between him and Yamato. I'm not quite sure when; all I know is that I looked at him one morning, and felt emotions I had never allowed myself to feel for anyone before. Taichi was eternally happy and bright, always ready with a joke and a smile, a shoulder to cry on. But at the same time, he was our leader, guiding us through fights that we might not have survived otherwise. His courage was...awe-inspiring. Just a kid of 12, and yet he stood up to monster most adults would have run screaming from in nightmares. Only still a kid, and he faced down demons most people will never experience.

He was so brave. So courageous, and so beautiful. Shining chocolate brown eyes that looked so warm with happiness. Dark brown hair, flying wildly about his face, his long slender body tanned with sun and wind and soccer. How could I not have fallen for him? Taichi was - is – perfect.

But even as I gave my heart to him, his soul and love belonged to another. Yamato. Taichi's best friend and sometimes rival. Taichi had always seemed to hate him - I remember every fight, every argument in the Digital world – but looking back, I guess I saw it too, even though I didn't think of it at the time, maybe not wanting to believe it. But it was true, even before Taichi himself told me what he felt for the blond rock star, I saw the love in his chocolate eyes as Yamato cradled him, rescuing him from the wrath of Piedmon, swearing to him that – what was it? – that nothing would ever come between them again.

Nothing. And so we returned to Earth, I keeping my feelings for a certain goggle boy a secret, learning more about the depths of these new emotions every day. How every word he spoke seemed like a song. How every smile seemed like it was meant especially for me.

Then it all came crashing down. Taichi came to my house one stormy October night in tears. I brought him into my room, sat him down on my bed, and gave him a pillow to hug, all the while resisting the urge to take him into my arms and comfort him as I wanted to. He told me everything; how he had been in love with Yamato since we were in the digital World. How he thought of nothing but the blond boy. How he wanted to be with him forever.

I never thought words could hurt so much. With every revelation, my heart tore itself slowly to pieces. Now I know what is truly meant by the phrase "broken heart". It rally felt as though someone was taking a hammer to my heart and slowly, painfully hacking into to tiny pieces, leaving nothing but deep trials of blood-red pain.

But I loved Taichi, and I would do absolutely anything for him. Taichi told me that he had seen Yamato kissing Sora in the hallway that day at school. He started crying all over again. I hugged him, and told him that I would help him through this. That he would not be alone.

And so it's been that way for almost two years now. I'm still in love with him. And Taichi – judging by the pain in his eyes when he sees Yamato kissing Sora, he's still in love with his best friend. Two years. I have spent countless hours on the phone with him, consoling him after a concert where Yamato wrote and sang a song written specially for Sora. When they celebrated their one-year anniversary. I've spent many times dragging him home from parties, him leaning against my shoulder, his warm breath against my neck as he mumbles in a drunken stupor about how much he loves Yamato, and how he knows that someday, Matt will come to his senses and realizes that he loves Taichi too.

And I'll still be here for him when that fantasy comes crashing down. I'll still love him, even if he never realizes it, even if he never wants that love. No matter how many times his words break my heart. No matter how much it hurts when I tuck him into bed after an extended bout of boozing and kiss his cheek and he mutters "Good-night, Yama," with a smile so achingly sweet, it tears my soul to pieces and makes me want to sob.

I sigh as Taichi half-falls out of his perch on the chair in Mimi's living room and starts on his sixth drink of the night. He and I have never fought, like he and Yamato have. He's never hurt me ever, physically, that is, although his words have broken my heart and spirit many, many times. For sticks and stones may break my bones...but words will break my heart.

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Poor Koushiro...I hate myself for making this so sad, but you know, use your imaginations and make him a happy ending. And please review! Reviews are my addiction and my muse – they prompt new story ideas.

Just in case anybody is interested, I do request fics -mostly due to my lack of creativity. So if you want a story written, send me what you want and I'll do my best to deliver.

E-mail: all_your_bass42@hotmail.com