Just a Shade

"Is this real? Or has this all been happening in my head?"

~Harry Potter

"Of course it's happening in your head, Harry,

But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"

~Albus Dumbledore

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

"I don't think it looks like lavender." Ariadne said pressing her free hand to an uncomfortable knot in her back. She held paint swatches on the other hand like a fan. Her large belly not hidden at all by the white summer dress she wore. Arthur sighed heavily and looked at the drying paint.

"I'm sure it will look lavender when it dries." He assured her. "We can hire some men to come and paint it if you don't like it."

"No!" She told him, looking shocked by the idea. "I want to tell our daughter that her father painted her nursery. Not some random hired men." The Point Man sighed wearily. Ariadne was in her final month of pregnancy now and her unwieldy burden was making her irrational at times. Not that he had ever dreamed to tell her this.

"Fine." He capitulated. "Once it dries, and you don't like it, I can paint it again."

"This time lavender." She said crossly.

She sighed. Nothing made her happy these days. She had trouble sleeping because of her heavy pregnancy and Alexander was entering the terrible two's with a vengeance. They had all been thrilled when the little boy started to talk. Just the stranded "Mamma, Dadda, No!, and Cerberus*." which was the huge dog Cobb and his children had gotten to roam wildly over the property.

Alexander was constantly curious about the large mutt. Fortunately the dog was calm and protective of the children. He often trotted beside the youngest child in his "pack" acting like a four legged nanny.

"Hello." Sybil said cheerily appearing in the door frame. She was carrying Alexander in one arm, his entire body covered in dirt. Ariadne sighed.

"What has he been into now?" She sighed crankily.

"Just some dirt." Sybil explained. "It's almost lunch time, I was going to wash him."

"Thanks Sybil." Arthur offered.
"It's that stupid dog." Ariadne complained. "Their just as bad as each other." She waved the swatches at her first born who grinned his father's mischievous grin.

Sybil paid no attention to this. Her mind was full.

It was in this house.

This room.

A perfect lavender.

Not the lavender it was now, but softer.

Perfect lavender.

A little girl in a blue taffeta ballerina costume.

Her long, dark hair wrapped up in a neat little bun.

Another image of the same little girl,

running down the stairs in shinny Mary Jane shoes.

The classic shoes were all her father would allowed her to wear when not dancing.

The little girl was dressed in a pink and white peppermint candy dress.

Sybil could almost taste the candy from seeing the girl dressed such.

Not a hair out of place and tied neatly in a pink bow.

A perfect little girl.

It was the kind of clothes and shoes only a father would pick out for his daughter.

Classic and elegant.

Arthur's taste.

She saw the little girl playing with her brother,

admiring and emulating an teenage blond girl that had to be Phillipa.

Chasing a large mutt around the garden.

Sybil saw Eames and even herself,

being disgusted and laughing at how much the little girl was like her father.

So neat and organized.

So careful and graceful.

They teased with laughter in their eyes.

They teased with sadness behind the laughter.

She saw Cobb, a deep scowl on his brow.

She saw Arthur.

How much he loved his daughter.

A deep well of sadness in his own eyes.

Nowhere did she see Ariadne.

The little girl's mother was not in the house.

She was gone, just a shade.

"Were not getting rid of the dog." Arthur said standing his ground. "He's good security." Ariadne sighed.

"I'm going to go lay down for a while." She said rubbing her back some more. "Thank you Sybil... Sybil?" Ariadne's voice cut into the Control's thoughts. Braking them free of whatever held them to that place where the little girl was.

"Oh... yeah... I'm fine." Sybil said "Just thinking." She gave Alexander a quick bath and brought him back downstairs with the rest of the family. Minus Arthur and Ariadne.

Phillipa, now almost 11 years old, had taken on much more responsibility over her younger brother as well as Alexander. The fact that Cobb gave her a generous allowance to do so was never mentioned.

In their quite master bedroom on the East Wing of the house, Arthur rubbed his wife's bare feet. The swelling made it hard for her to wear shoes most of the time. She was constantly uncomfortable.

"I don't know if I can take any more of this." She admitted in a defeated attitude. Her husband chuckled.

"Not much longer now." he assured her. "At least this time we can have a normal labor and delivery." She placed a cool wash cloth over her eyes and allowed herself to become lost in thought.

When she closed her eyes, she was in a privet place. She could retreat back to the white house in the forest. See Tomas and Ava. She felt so guilty for retreating to that place. She loved Arthur. Had always loved Arthur. Never loved Braker. Never wanted to be with Braker. Yet...

"We never talked about the dream." Her husband said interrupting her thoughts. She snapped back to reality as she removed the wash cloth from her face. She looked over her large belly at the Point Man.

"Why... why are you asking?" She stammered feeling surprised that Arthur had waited so long to ask any questions.
"It was about Braker." He replied simply. "Those kids in the house... was that your time in Limbo? Your family with him?" He asked. Not in an angry tone. Not blaming her at all.

"The kids called me mommy so I assume they were." She said indifferently. She wanted him to drop it. Not ask her any more. She was embarrassed that Arthur had seen that world. Guilty that she had not hated it.

"Ariadne?" He asked softly. He didn't meet her eyes. "Did Braker... did he ever... hurt you?" He awkwardly.
"He never raped me Arthur." She assured him. "He was normal. Like he had been before Limbo. I slept in the guest room." she said assured him. "I felt it you know."

"What?"

"I felt you kissing me while I was under." She confessed. He smiled. "I smelled your cologne, felt you. It was almost enough to bring me out." Arthur nodded and looked happy.
"Cobb said he could feel me slapping him. He said it almost brought him out as well." He laughed.

"Glad you didn't slap me." She teased.

"Never." He said kissing her knee caps. She giggled playfully as her husband rose up to meet her lips. Mindful of her condition, he gently maneuvered around her large belly to rest beside her. His hand snaking devilishly up her dress.

"Oh Arthur," She groaned "I feel fat as a cow." She complained knowing where such explorations would lead.

"No. No, your beautiful." He told her honestly.

After Arthur's gentle lovemaking, she always had no trouble falling asleep. He joked that it was her sleeping pill. That whenever she was getting to stressed from the pregnancy, she just needed her sleeping pill. He left her to take a nap, and as always, she fell asleep quickly.

Ariadne dreamed.

It was very early in morning. The sun had not even had a chance to awaken from it's own sleep. Ariadne was enjoying her morning walk outdoors. Feeling the joy of her light, thin, little body. Not heavy with a soon to be born baby. Her body was neat and trim. She went inside a small comfortable little house to fix breakfast when she heard a noise behind her. A slight stomping of little feet. She turned.
"Hey." She smiled warmly to Tomas. "What are you doing up so early?"

"I had a bad dream." He complained.

"You did?" She asked in a worried tone that only a mother can give. Her son was dressed in his blue space man pajamas. She had to smile at him. She opened her arm to her son and he ran to her. She lightly touched his hair.
"Dreams can never hurt you." she told him gently. "There just in you imagination." The little boy clung to his mother's legs.

"Do you want to help me fix breakfast?" She asked. Tomas nodded. A toothy grin coming over his cherub face. "We have to be quite, we don't want to wake your sister." Ariadne whispered to him.

Her conspirator in crime nodded and stood on his on a brightly painted step stool. He helped his mother break open eggs from their shell and beat them. He watched with fascination as his mother helped him poor the runny mess into a hot skillet that turned into hot delicious scrabbled eggs. As if by magic.

Ariadne watched the little boy happily. It was a perfect moment. She knew baby, Ava, would be awake soon. She would bring Ava down to eat with them. She would see her daughter's beautiful little face in a few minutes.

"Tomas." She said softly running a hand over the little boys soft hair. Like feathers. He turned to her and she saw her own eyes in his.

"What is it Mommy?" He asked. His sweet cherub like face so wonderful.

"I'm sorry I let you drown in the flood." She told him. He smiled.

"That's okay Mommy." He said.

Cerberus, Greek. Three headed dog who guards the entrance into the underworld and prevents them form escaping.