Deterioration
Kendall's POV
11:45 pm
James is my best friend or so I thought. He's been acting weird these last couple of months. Like being gone all day and night, staying in the bathroom for hours, or hardly ever speaking, let alone laughing. Every time I try to start a conversation, he just gets up and walks away. I'm beginning to worry about him. He has been wearing more long-sleeves and black clothes. James Diamond doesn't ever wear black unless it is his leather jacket. He has also started carrying around this journal thing. I tried to ask him what was in it and he snapped at me, telling me never to talk to him about it again. I'm starting to wonder what is inside it. I've also noticed him writing a letter of some sort. He hides it inside his journal. I'll sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and see him writing. He thinks I don't notice the tears falling from his face, but I do. Something is seriously wrong with him, and I intend to find out what it is. But for now, I'm just going to go to bed.
8:30 am
I woke up a lot earlier than usual. I think it was because of my dream last night. It was about James. I dreamt that he tried to commit suicide, and when I got there it was too late and he was dead. It was very nerve racking to say the least. I woke up with tears streaming down my face and covered in sweat. "God, I need to take a shower." I looked over and saw James still asleep. He had a smile on his face, but then his eyebrows furrowed and he was frowning. I saw a single tear leave his eye before he turned over in his bed. What is he dreaming about?
I wipe the tears from my face as I get up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and strip. When I step into the shower I notice that the water is freezing so I reach behind me and turn the hot water up. I feel the scolding; hot water hit my shoulders and run down my back. It burns but it feels so good. I stand there, looking at the steam and just let the hot water relax my sore, tense shoulders. I begin to think, millions of questions run through my mind. All of them are about James. And yet, I don't have any answers. I look at my phone and see that I have been standing here thinking for half an hour! I quickly wash my hair and body. I turn off the water and step out into the cold bathroom.
After I dried myself off, I go into my room and look for something to wear. I try to be quiet considering that James is still asleep. "Good, you need some decent sleep for once." I whisper to myself. I take the towel off and put on some grey boxers. I open my closet and scan through my clothes looking for something to wear. I always wondered why girls would say they have nothing to wear when they have a closet full of clothes. I now understand because that is how I feel at the moment. I finally settle for a pair of average blue jeans and an orange t-shirt with a black cross on it. I walk out of the room, but I hesitate when I'm closing the door. I take one last look at James; seeing the for once peaceful look on his face. I close the door as quietly as I can and head to the kitchen for some much needed breakfast.
9:30 am
While I was eating my bowl of delicious honey nut cheerios I heard someone walking up behind me. I turn and see James walking into the kitchen. His face is a little red, and his eyes are so dark. I can't see any other emotion except pain, hurt, and sadness. He goes to the fridge and takes out a bottle of water. He takes a sip and then turns to me. "Kendall?" I was shocked that he actually was talking to me without me forcing it. I realized that I had just sat there in silence so I quickly regained my composer and said "Yes, James?" "Can I show you something? Well, you kind of have to read it. If you don't want to that's cool." "James, it's fine and sure. I'd like to read what ever it is." I said with a small smile. He just sighs and says "Ok, I'll be right back." I watch him walk away and think "Wow, maybe he's getting better. I wonder what he wants me to read." By the time I finished my thought he was back. He handed me a piece of paper and said "I'll be in my room. I hope this will help you finally see and maybe even understand." And with that, he left me sitting there with a piece of paper in my hands. What is up with him? I am even more confused then I was this morning, and that's saying something. Well only one way to find out I guess. So, with that, I opened the piece of paper and started to read…
Understand
You don't understand
What it's like to be dealt this hand
A hand filled with pain
Where, sadly, there is no gain
It feels like the only release is death
Or maybe doing a little meth
You cling to what you can
Sometimes it's the wrong man
You tell from your heart
Nobody understands your art
What release is there?
But an overstuffed bear
You don't understand
To see so much land
Brings tears to my eyes
As the last tear falls; he dies
I was at a loss for words. And that rarely, if ever, happens. All I could say was "Oh, James…"
Hope you like it. I'm in the process of finishing my other story and writing 2 new stories. The next chapter will be kinda short sorry. Anyways Review please! Love you guys!
