Spiraling
Rating: G/K
Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Drama
Summary: For both the hc_bingo and angst_bingo challenges, prompt "Panic Attacks". After a while, Alexander couldn't control the fear anymore.
Author's Note: Pretty short, but I think I hit the target. Well- I did panic "attack", singular, rather than "attacks", but I hardly think that's a liberal interpretation of the prompt.
Disclaimer: I don't own Smallville. It belongs to Jerry Siegal, Joe Shuster and the CW.
()()
Some days, Alexander kept calm.
"Tess, where were we yesterday?" He asked, and Tess was grimly relieved to hear the composure and casualness in his tone. Like he was asking her to estimate how much water was in a glass, or whether or not it looked like rain outside. Unimportant. Unnecessary. Normal, human forgetfulness.
"We were here," Tess filled in, her back to him as she tried to rip open a packet of sugar for her coffee with shaking hands. "And then we went to see a doctor to see if they could help you with your memory." She cursed quietly when part of the paper packet fell into the drink.
"And then we came back here?"
"Yes." Alexander thought about that for a moment, but Tess saw him nod once she turned around again.
"Okay." Tess forced the heartbreak down, forced herself not to start bawling over the fact that soon enough, he wasn't going to remember much of anything about anyone. His own personal brand of amnesia was setting in remarkably fast, and they still had no idea as to how they were supposed to combat it.
Other days, Alexander was not calm.
He was watching TV, and Tess was working on some paperwork for the Planet in her room when she heard him start to panic. It was the sound of someone being painfully, violently choked to death, and Tess knew it had to be Alexander, so she jumped up and dashed down to the living room. In the penthouse apartment they're living in, it doesn't take long. "Alexander? Alex-"
"Where am I?" His voice was ragged, raw, and he had slid off of the couch and had drawn his knees up to his chest. "Where am I? When did I- How did I-?" Tess immediately knelt down beside him, arms coming up to embrace him and hands to stroke his hair.
"You're home," She whispered into his hair, rocking him gently even as he started to shake. "You're home. You're safe."
"I can't remember, I can't, I don't- How did I get here? Where am I?" That's when the panic really started, one hand clawing at his chest and his breathing so shallow and erratic that Tess began to panic, wondering if he might pass out, or if maybe he was finally dying from some sort of obscure complication of being a clone.
He didn't talk for a few minutes, any noise being a gasp for breath or a whimper or sob. Alexander's free arm was wrapped tightly around Tess, and once or twice she ended up gasping herself from the sheer strength behind his grip. His mind was getting more and more fragile, but his body was getting stronger.
Finally, he began to choke and cough like he was coming up for air after a long stint under water. "Tess," He cried once his voice came back. "Tess, Tess, I can't remember. I can't remember anything."
Tess squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to start crying herself, clutching him tighter and forcing the majority of her composure to stay firmly in place. "It's okay, Alexander. It's okay. I promise, I'm going to find a way to make this better. I'll find a way to make it all better."
Alexander nodded, head bumping against her chin, and she almost lost it again at the sheer confidence and trust he had in her. She gave him her word, and he would hold her to it. He couldn't trust anyone else; Tess was his only family.
And he was hers.
-End
