Day: 24th
Month: December
Time: 9:00 PM
Year: 2026
City: South Park
State: Colorado
Country: U.S.A
"Come on kids, it really is time to go to sleep. Santa's not gonna come if there are kids wide eyed and watching. He only comes if your asleep, and if you don't go to bed, he's not gonna give you any presents. So let's go to sleep, ok? I'll read you guys a story!"
Katie and the kids went to bed, reading stories and singing Christmas songs, while Stan quietly slipped presents under the Christmas tree. He filled tiny gifts into the stockings hung, and he filled candy in the bottoms. He ate some of the cookies, and drank half the milk. It was delicious. Santa's job really isn't that hard, at least this part. He then went to bed, passing the sleeping kid's bedroom and walked into his own bedroom, finding Katie reading a "People" magazine, Christmas edition.
"I found a recipe for buttered rum balls. Should I bake those for the Christmas party at work or should I bring those candy cane cookies?"
"Whatever you bring I'm sure it's going to taste delicious. Just like dinner, by the way. Those mashed potatoes were great!"
"I put garlic and a hint of rosemary. And in the pork chops I put teriyaki and some red cracked pepper. Did you really like it?"
"I loved it." He said, and he kissed her forehead.
"I have no clue what I'm making tomorrow. I have to go to Albertsons and see if they have any chicken breasts left, because they were half off but then I would have to-"
"It's going to be delicious. Everyone will love it. Just like I love you." He kissed her on the lips and held her close to him and they fell asleep, but not for very long.
A scream came from the living room. Stan and Katie sat straight up, wondering who murdered who.
"WAKE UP WAKE UP! SANTA CAME! HE CAME AND HE LEFT PRESENTS!" screeched Rose to her parents.
"YEAH! LOTS OF THEM! AND OUR STALKINGS ARE FULL TO THE BRIM!" Charles yelled while jumping up and down on their bed. Then all four children were jumping on them.
"Alright, alright, were getting up" mumbled the still groggy Stan. Katie got up right after him.
After a morning full of cries of happiness and a warm breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and OJ, the kids went out with their mother to go grocery shopping and grab some snacks. Knowing Katie, they'd also stop at Dutch Bros., and Block Busters, and Fred Meyer, and Safeway, and McDonalds, and a bunch of other places. Stan was tidying up the pine needles that fell off the Christmas tree, and the scraps that the kids missed when cleaning up after opening presents, when he heard a knock on the door. He walked over to open it.
"Ummm… you guys look like dorks, you know that right?" Cartman, Kenny, Kyle, Butters, Token, and the rest of the gang were there, but in their "coon and friends" outfits.
"Stan, were not superheroes anymore, were secret agents. Cthulhu has returned for more.
"You guys are retards. Just do whatever you did last time."
"But we can't, we-"Stan closed the door. Retards. Stan thought.
