Author's Note: This story is a take-off of Tokyo Godfathers. I'm writing this story for all you Springfield Mafia fans out there! I know you exist, out there.

Enjoy!

Springfield Godfathers

It all started on a wonderful Christmas Day; there was a dusting of white over Springfield, a powdery snow was falling down from the sky, the Simpsons' Christmas tree had not melted nor caught fire (more than once). Oh, and there was also an incredibly boring Church session.

In the pews, the Simpsons were huddled together in the back, where everyone except for Homer hoped Reverend Lovejoy couldn't hear his snoring.

"Homer… Homer!" Marge whispered, "If you don't stop dreaming of donuts and drooling, I won't let you open your presents for another hour!"

Homer just kept on sleeping, until Bart muttered into his ear, "Moe's Tavern happy hour," and he woke right up.

"Woohoo! Oh, wait, church? Aww."

Afraid that her husband would interrupt the rest of the church, Marge decided to get Homer out of there ASAP.

"Homer, why don't you take Maggie with you to get some new diapers? Because of your misbehavior, I'm giving you diaper duty for the rest of the day. You can pick us up here in an hour."

"Anything's better than listening to Mr. Drone-y up there," said Homer, and he quickly scooped up Maggie and got in the car.

Homer drove to the Kwik-E-Mart, hoping that he could buy some freshly re-sprinkled donuts while there, but when he pulled into the lot in front, he saw a notice posted to the store-front glass that wasn't advertising Christmas discounts, but was instead a little white piece of paper with black writing in several types of fun fonts on it.

He ran up to it. "Hm… Ooh, it's a contest! Whoever gets the first clear photo of Springy, the Springfield monster living in the water outside the Squidport gets… Ten thousand dollars! That's almost enough to pay off the fire damage to Mr. Smithers' apartment I caused!" Homer quickly ran back to his car, forgetting why he had come to the convenience store in the first place. "Maggie, buckle up your baby seat, we're going to the Squidport!"


Homer broke the speed limit five times just to shave off a few seconds from his driving time, and when he got there, he drove right through the pedestrian waterfront Mall, nearly killing several people, so he could park right next to the water.

"Alright, now where's that paparazzo camera? I think it's in the glovebox here….Aha! I'm right, as usual," said Homer triumphantly. "Now. Maggie, you stay right here while daddy takes a photo of the giant monster, okay?" Homer left, unthinkingly leaving the door open.

Now, Maggie wasn't one to just sit around in a car and wait for hours, so she slithered like a snake and wriggled out of her booster seat, and crawled out onto the docks. She crawled up onto of some barrels, through some hanging fish hooks (losing her bow and ripping her snuggie in the process), and finally, when she started getting cold, into a warehouse, labeled the 'INCONSPICOUS LOADING AREA: WHERE WE DO NOT PERFORM SMUGGLING OR BOOTLEGGING.' She crawled into the corner, behind some barrels that were inside. She heard some people talking, so she peeked out to watch them. She saw four men, stacking up some of the barrels.

Maggie didn't know who they were. They were the four Mafia soldiers, and the barrels in the warehouse said 'Doff Beer' on them.

"So, uh, what's in this knock-off beer again?" said Frankie the Squealer, who was wearing an open shirt (in winter, of all times).

"It's just colored vegetable oil and human urine," said Johnny Tightlips.

Frankie, shocked and disgusted, accidentally knocked a barrel over, nearly crushing Maggie, who rolled away just in time.

"Oh, great, now look what you did!" said Louie. He grabbed Frankie, getting ready to punch him in the face. "You're lucky the Boss ain't with us now!"

Maggie, suddenly, started to wail; she couldn't find her pacifier anywhere, her father was gone, and the sound of mobsters arguing was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

Fortunately for Frankie the Squealer, when the Mafia goons heard her crying, they stopped what they were doing. All four walked over to where she was sobbing in the corner.

"Who would abandon a baby here, of all places?" said Legs. "There's no note to go with her, or nothing!"

"Maybe she's one of Johnny's illegitimate children," said Frankie. Legs and Louie looked to Johnny Tightlips, but he neither confirmed nor denied the truth of that statement, so they just let it slide.

"Well, what should we do? It's not like we can take 'er to the police. Tony says bribe money doesn't grow on trees," said Louie.

"Well, we could take care of her," said Legs.

"I ain't shootin' no defenseless baby!"

"No, I meant literally take care of her, like '3 Godfathers,' or somethin'."

"Well, this would be four of them, right?" said Frankie, grinning.

"No," said Johnny Tightlips, "you don't count as a man."