Author's Note: Probably the vaguest summary I've ever given a fic, but I did that intentionally. Just read and enjoy. :)

Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory © Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady


"The nerve of those people to kick us out," Sheldon said in a heated tone, his feet crunching beneath the graveled pavement of the parking lot. He stopped long enough to spin around, hollering, "Enjoy feeling high and mighty now before you return to your worthless profession of playing with rocks—"

"Sheldon," Amy hissed under her breath, tugging him by the sleeve of his jacket to jerk him back around. "That's enough. You've already made quite an embarrassing scene in there as it is."

Sheldon came to a halt, blue eyes wide and bright against the dark sky as he stared at Amy. "An embarrassing scene?" he repeated in his trademarked, fully condescending and fact-of-the-matter tone. Amy was already huffing out a sigh as Sheldon took his still fresh-hot anger towards the geologists and directed it towards her. "You're the one who insisted we attend this ridiculous lecture tonight for a harmless laugh," he said, completely accusatory without an ounce of mercy, "and after listening to those so-called 'scientists' prattle on about utter stupidity for over an hour, you truly think I'm the embarrassing one? Have you gone mad, woman?"

Amy simply stared at him, eyes hard and unsympathetic. She was refusing to bend and see it his way, which only irked Sheldon all the more. It wasn't his fault that those pathetic gravel monkeys didn't have any common sense to realize that their "scientific research" was laughable at best.

"Sheldon," she said at last. "I want to believe that you're smart enough to realize on your own that your behavior in there was totally inexcusable. Yet, apparently, it looks like I have to be the one to explain it to you." Sheldon opened his mouth to retort, but Amy beat him to it. "It's one thing to make lighthearted jokes for good fun. That doesn't make it acceptable to insult people and disrupt the entire lecture."

Sheldon's teeth clenched. "I was trying to dispute—"

"I don't care, Sheldon!" Amy said, her voice screeching as it reached a new decibel in volume. "Bottom line, your behavior in there was extremely rude and embarrassing."

There was that word again. Embarrassing. It sliced right through Sheldon, cutting him to his core. He found it unsettling to hear Amy say it so passionately like that, as if he were too blind to see it for himself. That was precisely the problem, though. It just didn't make any sense to him. Since when was he embarrassing? He was annoying, certainly, he was willing to admit that much, but embarrassing? He couldn't see how she'd have any reason to be ashamed of him. After all, he'd been stating nothing but facts in there. He thought that she, of all people, would have appreciated that, but apparently, she thought otherwise.

"They had every right to kick us out," Amy said, her voice devoid of any vigor now, instead sounding tired, as though in quiet defeat. "Clearly, it was a mistake coming here with you tonight. At least I've learned my lesson. Now, come on, let's get out of here."

She walked away, but Sheldon stayed rooted in place, watching her retreating form, a disheartening feeling flooding through him. He felt like a balloon that had been punctured with a small hole, not enough to pop it altogether, but rather, to slowly deflate until it was nothing but a useless, shriveled up piece of rubber.

Amy, meanwhile, had stopped and peered over her shoulder to see what the hold up was. When she saw Sheldon standing there, looking like a lost soul with a blank expression on his face, concern immediately swept up inside her, and she walked right back up to him to get a closer look.

"Sheldon," she said. "What's wrong?"

He didn't respond, but dropped his eyes, leaving Amy to wonder what could have caused this sharp change in his mood, having no idea that she, in fact, was the cause behind it. Before she could question him again, however, he lifted his head, eyes sweeping over her, and he muttered a half-hearted, "Nothing."

As he walked away, the roles switched, with Amy being the one to simply stand there and watch him leave. She noted how slowly he was walking, his feeble footsteps drifting through the stillness that surrounded her. Her confusion only mounted, clinging to her whether she was prepared for it or not.

Sheldon suddenly paused, tossing a glance at her. "Are you coming?" he asked, curtly, with the slightest hint of irritation.

It was enough to snap Amy out of her trance and saunter over to join him. She decided not to press him on the issue for now, as she was just grateful to be getting out of there so that they could put this unpleasant evening behind them.


The car was silent between its two occupants, with Sheldon drowning in a sea of thoughts, and Amy sitting at the wheel, completely aggravated by the bumper-to-bumper traffic that ran along the length of the avenue. She let out a sigh, and the sound was enough to draw Sheldon out of his own head and look at her. She squeezed the steering wheel, then loosened her grip slightly, only to tighten her hold on it again, doing this interchangeably while she bounced a bit in her seat.

"Are you in distress?" Sheldon asked, and when Amy turned her head to glare at him, he knew that he'd received his answer. Now it was just a matter of determining the reason. "Is it the unprecedented traffic that's upsetting you?"

"Yes," Amy said. "That's certainly part of it."

"There's more?" Sheldon asked incredulously.

Amy met his eyes again, her lips pressed in a thin line, displaying an annoyed countenance that he'd come to recognize over the years. She looked back out at the road, lifting her foot off the brake pedal to inch forward. The fact that she wasn't saying anything only made matters seem worse to him, and, because he felt he had no other options, he decided to ask the one question he was dreading to find out the answer to, but at the same time, desperately needing to find out the truth.

"It's because you find me an embarrassment, isn't it?"

"What?" Amy said, jerking the car to a stop, which earned them both an earful of a blaring car horn from the driver behind them. She gave a fleeting glance at her rear view mirror, before proceeding forward again. "That explains things," she muttered to herself. "Sheldon, listen to me, I did not say you were an embarrassment. I said that your actions from this evening were embarrassing. That's all. Can we drop it now? I'm honestly in no mood to argue with you."

Unfortunately for her, Sheldon had no plans whatsoever to drop it. In fact, he was going to plunge into this argument head first and take her down with him. "I see," he began. "Well, I'd just like to point out that while you may find my actions embarrassing, I—"

"Sheldon, please," Amy said, her pleading tone enough to truly silence him.

He looked at her in genuine concern, taking in the way her face scrunched up, as though she were in physical discomfort. Apparently, on top of being annoyed by the traffic, and finding his actions embarrassing, there was still something else troubling her, and he needed to get to the bottom of it.

"Amy," he said seriously.

"I'm fine," she immediately said. "I'm fine. Just—be quiet. Please."

"Why?" he asked. "You still haven't explicitly told me what's wrong."

"I know, because it's not important. Really," she insisted.

He didn't buy that excuse for a second, and his suspicions only brought him to ask, "Are you embarrassed to tell me?"

Amy rolled her eyes. "Sheldon—"

"No," he said. "It makes perfect sense. You're so embarrassed of me that you're purposely avoiding telling me what's bothering you, and you should know that I find that very—"

"I really need to pee, okay?" Amy blurted out.

At that, Sheldon paused. "You really need to pee?"

"Yes," Amy said. "I was planning on using the restroom once the lecture was over, but after you went and got us kicked out, I didn't want to go back there, and I figured I could just hold it in until I got home. But now, here we are, sitting in traffic, forcing me to deal with my full bladder while I listen to you complain about how you think I find you embarrassing when that's not at all how I feel. Happy, now?"

She let out a harsh breath, her shoulders dropping, a subsequent groan escaping her lips. What followed her hearty outburst was only more silence, as Amy simply concentrated on driving, or really, releasing the brake every so often to drive just a few feet, before she had to stop again. Sheldon, meanwhile, had since taken his eyes off of her to search the road ahead.

"There's a gas station at this upcoming turn," he said. "It's not exactly of the highest quality, but I'd suggest stopping there anyway, as the next one isn't for another mile or so, and at the rate this traffic is moving, you'd have to wait at least another half hour before you can relieve yourself."

Amy looked at him, and he looked at her, waiting for her to make a decision. She said nothing, and simply switched on her turn signal.


The gas station was extremely run down, not a single car at the pumps. Amy drove past them, parking her car in a space with faded lines, right in front of the small convenience store adjacent to the pumps. As she turned off the engine and unbuckled her seat belt, she looked up to see Sheldon pulling out a few dollar bills from his wallet.

"What are you doing?" she asked as he tried to hand her the money.

"Since you're going to be using their facilities, you'll need to make a small purchase," he explained.

"All right, well, why don't you just come inside with me and purchase something for yourself? There's nothing in there I'd want to buy," Amy said. She opened her car door, not even bothering to wait for Sheldon's response as she exited the car and closed the door behind her, heading straight for the store.

Sheldon quickly got out as well and followed her, managing to catch up to her in time to grab the door just as she pulled it open. They entered the store, the inside of which was cramped and dusty, even more unappealing than its exterior. He followed Amy as she walked up to the counter. The employee behind it was an overweight, greasy looking man with thinning hair, appearing to be in his forties. He stood, head slumped against the register, mouth agape and eyes closed, snoring softly.

"Excuse me," Amy said. "Could you direct me to the restroom?"

The man snorted, jolting awake and lifting his head to look around, completely disoriented. When his eyes settled on Amy, a lewd smile cracked across his face, one that did not go unnoticed by Sheldon.

"Well, well," said the inattentive gas station employee, named Jack, according to the label on his navy jumpsuit. His smirk widened as he flattened his large, filthy hands against the counter and leaned in much too closely to Amy. "What can I do for you, sweetheart?"

Sheldon's temper flared up immediately, urging him to step in. "My girlfriend needs to use the restroom, which you would have known had you not been asleep."

"Exactly," Amy said, undeterred by Jack's inappropriate behavior. "I'd also politely ask that you refrain from calling me sweetheart again, as regardless of whether you were attempting to flatter me, it came off as highly demeaning, and I don't appreciate it at all."

"Sorry about that, sweet cheeks," Jack said with a sly wink, to which Amy's eyes widened. He paid no attention to it, though, as he merely pointed behind him with his thumb. "Can's around the corner."

"Great," Amy said, stalking off and bolting out the door without looking back.

With Sheldon now left alone with him, he reluctantly put on a polite face for Amy's sake, as the last thing he wanted to do was lose control and cause another scene.

"I'd like to compensate for her use of the bathroom by making a small purchase," he said, looking around at the sparse, disordered merchandise on the shelves. While he was unimpressed, he resisted the urge to grimace, and instead asked, "Do you perchance have any beef jerky?"

"Sure," Jack said, grabbing a container from behind the counter and slapping it down in front of him. "There ya go, Slim Jim."

It took Sheldon all of his willpower to ignore Jack and his idiotic comments, but he did, wanting to have as little interaction with him as possible. He focused on inspecting the beef jerky, when the door opened, diverting his attention as he glanced over, only to see Amy.

"That was awfully fast," he said in surprise.

"There was no toilet paper," Amy said, sidling up to him. "Thank goodness I checked before I sat down. It's fine. I'll just have to hold it until we get to your apartment."

"No, that's unacceptable," Sheldon said. "The traffic is suffocating, and you shouldn't have to be in discomfort because some incompetent employee neglected to stock a public restroom." He threw a glare at Jack and said, plainly, "The lady needs toilet paper."

"Whoa, listen to mister tough guy over here," Jack said, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "Relax, buddy, would ya? Hell, you're lucky your girlfriend is so cute, or I'd tell you to take a hike and find her another bathroom."

"You're really testing my patience," Sheldon said, raising his voice, his provoked anger now overpowering his composure, "and if you're not back with a roll of toilet paper within the next sixty seconds, I'll—"

"Damn, threatening me now, huh?" Jack interrupted, smirking again, fully amused by this.

"Sheldon, let's just go," Amy said in a hushed breath, a failed attempt to calm him down. "It's not a big deal. I'll just wait."

"Like hell you will!" Sheldon exploded, completely abandoning his promise not to lose control as he grabbed the edge of the counter and pulled himself up, knocking over the canister of Slim Jims and spilling them all over the floor.

"Sheldon!" Amy cried as Sheldon brought his legs up and hurled himself across the counter with the growl of a feral beast tearing through his lips.

"What the hell?" Jack said as he tried, and failed, to grab Sheldon, who landed on his feet with a heavy thunk. He darted right past Jack with cat-like reflexes, disappearing into an area that was clearly marked for employees only. "This guy's crazy!"

"I'm not crazy," Sheldon's loud voice echoed from the other room. "My mother had me tested!"

There were some shuffling noises as Sheldon clamored about the dark storage room in his frantic search to find what Amy needed. It wasn't long before he victoriously reappeared with a roll of toilet paper in hand and a wild look in his eyes, making him certainly look crazy.

"Here," he said, tossing the roll to Amy, who caught it with both hands. "Hurry up and pee, Amy, before this buffoon inevitably calls the cops on me!"

"Oh," Jack said, as though the idea hadn't even occurred to him until that exact moment. "Yeah. I should probably do that. Hey, uh, our phone got stolen a month ago, so would either of you mind letting me borrow yours?"

Neither Sheldon nor Amy gave him an answer, as Amy carefully stepped over scattered Slim Jims on her way out the door, while Sheldon was busy climbing back over the counter with very little grace, breathing hard the whole time. He once again managed to plop down on his feet, still as though he were part feline. Once safely on the ground, he took a moment to dust himself off and run a hand through his newly disheveled hair, before turning to Jack.

"You may want to get a broom," he said, then spat out as an afterthought, "Jack."


Sheldon stood in the empty parking lot, beneath a sole street lamp that gave off a dull light. He was inspecting his shoes for scuff marks when he heard the bathroom door open, and he looked up to see Amy approaching him.

"Is your bladder empty now?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. "Thank you."

"Good," he said, pausing a moment, only to switch gears. "I've…been doing a bit of thinking, and…as much it pains me to admit this, I've come to the unfortunate, but logical, conclusion that you truly do have every right to be ashamed of me after my actions from this evening. Frankly, as I've now managed to cause two scenes in one night, I'm downright ashamed of myself."

"Well, I've been doing some thinking, too," Amy said, "and I've actually drawn two conclusions. First, that lecture was awful. You and I both know that. Yes, you did get out of hand, but, let's face it, nothing was more embarrassing than listening to those geologists try to pass off their mundane research as such groundbreaking findings."

"Yes, thank you," Sheldon said, finding that this revelation, coupled with the smile now adorning Amy's face, brought him immediate comfort. He hadn't realized until that very moment just how desperately he'd been aching for it, and now, he allowed the tide of relief to rush over him, soothing him and making him feel calm. His voice grew inexplicably soft as he asked her, "What's your second conclusion?"

The tempting gleam in Amy's eyes only heightened Sheldon's interest. With a rough slyness in her voice that he'd come to recognize as shameless flirtation, she confessed, "My second conclusion is that I'm so grateful for what you did for me just now that I'm overcome with a powerful desire to kiss you."

Sheldon blinked, his lips tingling in unexpected anticipation. It wasn't date night, and while he wasn't one to go against the terms they'd both agreed upon in their recently amended Relationship Agreement, he still found himself drawing closer to her, as though by a magnetic pull. The air around them seemed to electrify, and he was unable to stop a mischievous grin of his own from sliding over his face.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes," Amy said.

He started to lean down, letting the sudden rush of desire take over, but before he could allow himself to close his eyes and welcome the warmth of Amy's lips against his own, he forced himself to stop and draw back, needing to make sure of one last thing.

"Just to be clear," he said, "you didn't find it at all embarrassing that I allowed my anger with that useless gas station attendant to affect me so much that I resorted to such drastic measures to ensure that you could finally use the bathroom?"

"Honestly, I was more scared that you were going to hurt yourself than I was embarrassed," Amy said. "Plus, that man was so unbelievably rude to both of us that I don't even blame you for losing your temper the way you did. If you ask me, he deserves to be fired."

"I couldn't agree with you more," Sheldon said. "Anyone who not only disrespects you, but has the audacity to call you 'sweet cheeks' right in front of me, will ultimately feel the wrath of Sheldon Cooper."

Amy smiled again, easing his senses once more. Her voice dipped to a low, alluring tone as she asked, "So, where do we stand on that kiss?"

She didn't need to ask him twice, as Sheldon happily took her by the waist and leaned down, smoothly brushing his lips against hers. He felt her hands slide up to his shoulders, her fingers fleetingly skimming them, as though in trepidation, so he hugged her waist tighter, letting her know it was all right to touch him. His heart skipped a beat when her hands not only clamped down on his shoulders, but tugged him a little closer.

He was well aware, now, that they were kissing in the middle of an open parking lot, leaving them with absolutely no privacy, but in this moment, with Amy's soft lips on his own, it was the greatest feeling in the world, because he knew she felt anything but embarrassed.